by Noelle Adams
Just like it meant nothing to her.
It wasn’t her fault she kept thinking back to it.
It was probably just lingering embarrassment.
Robert saw them just then. He gave a half smile and raised a hand in greeting.
They all smiled and waved back, Amanda less sincerely than the others.
Hopefully he wouldn’t be compelled to come over and talk to them. He had a date to focus on, and they didn’t need to waste time with meaningless small talk.
“Should we order another bottle of wine?” Taylor asked dryly.
“What? Why?” That was Serena, innocently unaware of what their friend’s tone meant.
Amanda wasn’t unprepared. And she wasn’t surprised when Taylor continued, “In case Amanda wants to get drunk with him again tonight.”
“I did not—” Amanda broke off her automatic objection, then muttered, “Oh, shut up.”
Taylor laughed while Serena looked back and forth between them in surprise.
“When did you get drunk with him?”
“I didn’t. I mean, I kind of did. At Stacey’s wedding. But it wasn’t a big deal. I was just letting off some steam after all the stress of planning the wedding, and he was someone to talk to.”
“He seemed to enjoy it,” Taylor admitted in a different tone. “I’ve never seen him like that before.”
Amanda tried to hold back the question but couldn’t. “Like what?”
“I don’t know.” Taylor shrugged and raised her eyebrows the way Robert often did. “Invested. Or something. It was a strange night. But you’re right that it clearly didn’t mean anything. He’s been back to normal ever since.”
Amanda wasn’t sure what she thought about that conclusion, but she told herself it was a good thing. Everything was back to normal. And what she’d stupidly shared with Robert didn’t mean a damned thing.
It really didn’t.
“How’s everyone doing?”
The cool voice with that underlying texture of warmth broke into their conversation. Unexpectedly since Amanda had been rigidly disciplining her gaze and thus hadn’t tracked Robert’s movements.
But he was standing next to their table now, giving them all a polite smile.
His eyes didn’t meet hers, and it felt intentional.
“We’re all fine,” Taylor said bluntly. “And you don’t want to waste time talking to us when you’re on a date.”
“I’m not planning to waste time. Just saying hello.” He sounded absolutely natural. Friendly but not overly so. He was greeting them the way anyone would if he’d run across acquaintances in a restaurant like this. “I hope you all enjoy the rest of your evening.”
That was clearly a concluding statement. He wasn’t going to introduce them to his date, and he wasn’t going to introduce her to them.
Which was fine. It wasn’t rude. And it certainly wasn’t personal.
But Amanda couldn’t help but notice that he still hadn’t met her eyes. He was looking mostly at Taylor, occasionally shifting his eyes over to Serena.
But not her.
Maybe he thought she was silly and immature after her behavior at the wedding.
Maybe it made him uncomfortable.
Maybe he was embarrassed for her.
Her cheeks warmed, but since he wasn’t looking, he wouldn’t notice. Hopefully Taylor and Serena wouldn’t either.
“We will have a good evening. Have one yourself.” That was Taylor, ending the conversation in her normal manner before turning back to her friends.
Robert nodded and started to leave, his eyes flicking over to Amanda just before he did.
Their gazes met for just a moment, but it left her weirdly breathless. Not that it was full of emotion or anything. It was just...
Significant.
That was how it felt.
But she reminded herself that it wasn’t significant. It was just slightly awkward. But now the first interaction after the wedding was over, so they could go back to being what they’d always been before.
Acquaintances.
Close enough to chat and banter a little but not close enough for anything else.
Now that that was settled, maybe she could finally get him out of her mind.
ROBERT WAS WISHING he hadn’t come to this wedding.
He’d been invited like the rest of his family, but it was probably just out of general civility. He wasn’t really friends with either the bride or the groom. They were closer to the age of Taylor and her friends. He should have just made his excuses and stayed home.
But he hadn’t. He was here. At another wedding where he couldn’t take his eyes off Amanda.
He really needed to work on that.
He wasn’t even sure why he’d accepted the invitation. It wasn’t because Amanda was the cousin of the bride and one of the bridesmaids, circumstances that guaranteed her attendance. It definitely wouldn’t have been for that reason.
Some other masochist impulse must have prompted his acceptance. But now he was here and couldn’t do anything about it but try not to stare at Amanda too much.
She was gorgeous this evening in a sleek blue dress—much more flattering and elegant than the poufy thing she’d been wearing at her sister’s wedding. Her hair was pulled up in some sort of smooth twist that caused her neck and shoulders to look long and graceful and touchable.
What the hell was wrong with him? He’d watched Amanda through most of the ceremony and during the early parts of the reception. She gave a short, funny, and touching toast, and she was laughing a lot as they went through the traditional reception routines.
No dancing at this reception, so that was one good thing. He didn’t have to watch some other guy with his hands all over her.
She’d nodded and given him a polite smile early in the reception when she’d first noticed his presence, but she hadn’t looked over at him since. It probably wasn’t intentional. She more likely wasn’t thinking about him.
Why should she be?
He was nothing more than a guy she’d hung out with one tipsy evening. They hadn’t shared anything meaningful. He was the one who was evidently so needy that he was still brooding about her so many weeks later.
He wasn’t like this.
He’d never been like this.
He was going to pull himself back together. Soon.
He told himself that as he ate a few of the hors d’oeuvres and drank a glass of whisky. (He was sticking to only one this time.) And he told himself the same thing again while he chatted with his brother and then Taylor. And he told himself once more as he waited for them to cut the cake, which was always his sign that it would be acceptable to leave without appearing rude.
When the cake was cut and the guests started to scatter again, he stood up.
This wedding was over. He was getting out of there. There was absolutely no reason to stay any longer.
Amanda wasn’t going to talk to him.
He’d turned toward the nearest exit when he noticed something from the corner of his eye. Instead of walking—which was what he should have done—he glanced over to see what had caught his attention.
What else? Amanda. She’d slipped away from the group of bridesmaids and groomsmen and was going through the french doors that led to the garden outside.
Instead of being smart and cynical and sensible—his normal self—and leaving as he’d intended, he followed her.
He found her by herself, staring out at the mostly dark garden. There was some minimal landscape lighting but not enough to break most of the shadows.
Amanda wasn’t near tears the way she’d been when he’d found her outside at the previous wedding. She looked subdued but calm. And a little chilly. She had her arms crossed over her chest.
“You should have worn a jacket,” he said, stepping forward so he was beside her. “It’s kind of cool out here this evening.”
He’d surprised her. She jerked and her eyes widened. But she recovered quickly and gave h
im a mild eye roll. “If I’d wanted a jacket, I’d have worn one.”
Her dress was sleeveless with only wide straps of satin covering her shoulders. The wind blew just then, ruffling the loose strands of hair around her face and neck. She shivered visibly despite her clear attempt to keep from doing so.
Robert took off his suit jacket and draped it around her shoulders.
She sneered at him. “I didn’t ask for this.”
“I know that. I offered it anyway. Are you really so stubborn as to throw it back in my face?”
“Maybe. But not tonight. I’m too tired tonight to be stubborn.” She pulled the jacket closer. “It smells like you.”
He arched his eyebrows. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“Sadly, it’s a good thing,” she admitted in a mournful tone.
He chuckled. He couldn’t help it. “Why is it sad?”
“Because it would be easier to be annoyed with your presumption and arrogance if you didn’t smell so scrumptious.”
“Ah.” The wave of gratified pleasure that washed over him at her words was impossible to ignore. “I’m sure you can manage a suitable degree of annoyance with me no matter how I smell.”
“Yes. But I can’t take all the credit. You make it easy.”
He laughed again, which was strange because he didn’t usually laugh.
Before he could think of a clever response, Amanda said, “I’m not getting drunk this time.”
“Did I suggest you should?”
“No. I’m just saying. If you’re looking for a repeat performance, you’re going to be disappointed.”
“I’m not looking for a repeat performance.”
“Then what are you looking for? Why are you out here?”
“I don’t really know. I just saw you leave, so I followed.” He told her the truth because he couldn’t think of anything else to say.
She nodded as if she understood his impulse. Maybe she’d felt something similar. “I’m not really a pitiful emotional mess, you know. No matter what impression I might have given you last time.”
“I don’t think you’re a pitiful emotional mess.”
“And I don’t have a thing for my sister’s husband.”
“I wouldn’t think so. Like I said last time, it was just a daydream. And it’s gone now.”
She nodded. “I think it is.”
There was absolutely no reason for his chest to loosen at her words. No reason for the wash of deep relief and something akin to excitement. Her feelings for Dave were none of his business and of absolutely no interest to him. “That’s good.”
She sighed and turned to face him fully. “But it feels like all my daydreams are gone now. If that makes any sense.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. I’ve just been... kind of down. Restless. And I try to feel in normal ways and I can’t. And now I’m wondering if I’m ever going to feel for anyone the way I used to feel for him.” She shook her head and dropped her eyes. “I don’t think I will.”
“You’ve got to give it more than a few weeks.”
“I’ve had more than a few weeks. And I still don’t feel... like I used to.” She smoothed back a few of her stray hairs as if she could feel them messing up her hairdo. “I’m sure it doesn’t make sense, but it feels like everything has changed. Like I’ve changed. And I just want...”
“What do you want?” He was almost holding his breath now, and he had no idea why.
“I don’t really know. I just want to do something different. Be someone different.” She was gazing up at him fully now, her eyes dark blue in the shadows. “Act out the way I’ve been feeling somehow. In some way.”
“In what way?” He was having trouble not touching her. He’d clenched his hands to hold himself back.
“Maybe doing something crazy. Something I wouldn’t normally do.” A little smile flickered briefly on her face. “You don’t want to have sex with me, do you?”
He blinked. Froze. Reviewed what she’d just said to assure himself he’d heard her right. “Did you just ask—?”
“If you wanted to have sex. It’s fine if you don’t. It was really just a passing thought. It’s just that I want to... be different. Just a little. And that’s the first thing I thought of.”
He was still standing, stunned and overwhelmed by the pounding of his heart. His blood.
Her cheeks grew pink as she dropped her eyes again. “I’m sorry if I made things weird. You can pretend I never said anything—”
“Yes,” he burst out.
She grew still. Her eyes lifted to his face. “Yes?”
“Yes. I’d be more than happy to help you act out the way things have changed if that’s really what you want. How much have you had to drink tonight?”
“One glass. I stopped with one.”
“Okay then. I’m in. Unless you decide to change your mind.”
She gave him a half-hearted scowl. “I’m not going to change my mind. Where should we do this?” She glanced around. “To tell you the truth, I’ve never had a spontaneous one-night stand before, and I’m not sure of the logistics.”
He laughed, something warm and excited rippling from his chest and out through his body. “Well, we could try to find a back room somewhere, but that’s kind of risky. We could do it in the car, but that’s kind of uncomfortable. Or we could go to your place or mine.”
“Let’s just go to mine. It’s closer.”
“Sounds like a plan to me.”
Most of Robert was internally screaming that this was exactly what he wanted, but a tiny voice beneath all the rest was warning that this could be a big mistake.
four
AMANDA WONDERED IF she was making a big mistake.
She didn’t even know what she was doing. Or why she was doing it. Before that moment out on the terrace, she’d had no intention of suggesting a one-night stand with Robert. It had never even crossed her mind except in brief, hot visuals of what it might feel like were he to touch her. She’d never seriously considered the possibility, however. It had just come out of her mouth without thought or volition.
And now here she was, pulling into the garage of her town house with Robert behind her in his expensive SUV. He parked in the driveway and walked into the garage as she waited.
He looked so good in his slightly rumpled suit, tie loosened and no jacket since he’d tossed the jacket he’d let her wear in his back seat when he’d gotten to his car. Even his hair was slightly mussed, like he’d been hot and run his fingers through it while he was a bit sweaty.
Amanda gulped at the ripple of excitement that ran down her spine.
Was it really possible that she was doing this? With Robert Castleman?
“You still good with this?” he asked her with arched eyebrows, his dark eyes studying her face closely.
She curled her lips. “Yes, I’m still good with this. You think I’m going to change my mind?”
“Just checking. It’s fine if you do. I’d rather you just call it quits than push yourself through based on a spontaneous impulse if it’s not what you actually want.”
His tone was cool and slightly lofty, but he was still scrutinizing her face. And she realized he was genuinely worried. He understood this had been an impulsive suggestion for her, and he didn’t want her to pressure herself to go through with it.
It was a kind thought. A sensitive one. And it removed the last flicker of doubt she’d been feeling. She smiled—sincerely. “Thanks for that. And yes, this was kind of out of the blue for me, but I do want to do it. I guess I really do want to be someone different. For tonight.”
“Okay. I’m not about to complain if it means I get to take you to bed.” His eyes heated up, just enough to take her breath away but not enough to be weird.
“Is that... is that something you really want?” Okay, she wished she hadn’t asked that question. She regretted it as soon as the words left her lips. It sounded almost insecure—which was so
mething she tried never to be.
He blinked slowly. “Are you serious?”
“No. I mean, not really. I just meant is it the idea of sex that you’re into or is it something specific about... about me?” That might have been a little better, but it was still rather needy for her liking. She wished she’d just kept her mouth shut.
The heat in his eyes softened into something almost gentle. “Yes, it’s sex. And yes, it’s you specifically. You think I haven’t been secretly lusting after you?” There was a wry note to his voice that removed some of the depth and significance his words might have held otherwise—like he was mocking himself as much as admitting a truth.
“You have? For how long?”
He gave a half shrug. “Too long.” He shifted slightly, an almost imperceptible sign he was uncomfortable. “You thinking we should do this here, right in your garage?”
She giggled and moved toward the door that led into the house. “No. That would be ridiculous. Come on in.”
The garage door led into a small mudroom and then into the kitchen. She gave it a quick glance as she slid off her heels to confirm that her dirty dishes were put up and there was nothing weird or embarrassing sitting out on a counter.
Robert looked around at the white cabinets, gray-and-silver granite counters, and stainless steel appliances. There was nothing particularly special about her kitchen, but it was clean and pleasant and upgraded. She liked it.
“This is nice. How long have you lived here?”
“A couple of years. It’s a nice neighborhood, and I’m only ten minutes from work.”
“Did you buy this as new construction?”
“Yep. What about you? What is your house like?”
“My house,” he said, toeing off his shoes and leaving them on the floor where she’d left hers, “is a hundred years old.”
“Really? I’ve got to see it sometime.” She wasn’t intending to be suggestive. She just liked old houses and would have bought one herself had she not been worried about the upkeep.
“You can. Anytime.”
They stood in the kitchen for a moment. Amanda set her little purse on a counter and took off the cashmere wrap she’d been wearing with her dress. Then she looked over at Robert, wondering what she should do.