Pledged to Mr Darcy

by Valerie Lennox

  After her meeting with everyone, she wrote up what she would need done and took the list to Mrs. Stickley.

  The housekeeper barely glanced at the list before she said that she did not think that Mrs. Darcy was taking this ball in the right direction.

  “Oh, no?” said Elizabeth. “But you have not had much chance to read what I have requested.”

  “There is no need,” said Mrs. Stickley. “I know that you planned this debacle with your aunt from Cheapside and your country-bumpkin sisters and a governess. How could it be fit for the upper echelons of society?”

  “Well, if you’ll point out any obvious faux pas that have been made—”

  “How can I show my face knowing that people will think I had a hand in this ball? I used to be proud to serve the Darcy family, but now, working for you, I am ashamed of my association here. I have sunk so low, so quickly.”

  Elizabeth snatched the list back from the housekeeper. “Well, you’ll doubtless be happier finding another, more proper, family to serve. You’re dismissed. I shall provide a recommendation, because other than being rude, you have not shirked your duty.”

  “Dismissed?” Mrs. Stickley drew herself up. “Why, you cannot do that! Do you have any idea how many years I have worked here?”

  “No,” said Elizabeth. “And I don’t care. You cannot work with me, as you have said. I am not going anywhere. I am Mr. Darcy’s wife. So, it seems that it’s better if you go.”

  “But… but…” Mrs. Stickley sputtered.

  “All right, then,” said Elizabeth. “I suppose we won’t need to speak on the matter anymore.” And she left the woman still struggling for words.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Jane was startled when Colonel Fitzwilliam came to call the following afternoon. He had called with some regularity while Mr. Darcy was out of town, but now she assumed that he would not be doing so, since there was no need for him to look out for the other members of the Bennet family.

  Her aunt was off with the children, currently, so Jane had the sitting room to herself. It wasn’t entirely proper for her and the colonel to be alone together, but the door was open and the servants nearby, so she supposed that she needn’t call for her aunt.

  She found she wanted to talk to him on her own, anyway.

  The colonel did not speak at first, however. Instead, he began to pace around the room, looking nervous.

  Finally, she felt as if she must say something to him. “Are you all right, sir? Is there something that can be done for you? Tell me what I should summon to put you at ease.”

  He stopped moving and turned to her. “I don’t have any money.”

  She raised her eyebrows.

  “My apologies. I know I am stating it rather baldly, but I am not one for prettying things up, and that is the way of things, and you must know it. I will not inherit from my father. My brother gets everything. It is the reason I am in the military to begin with.”

  “Yes, sir, I am aware of your situation,” she said.

  “Yes,” he said. “You would be. It is no secret.”

  And then there was silence.

  She cleared her throat. “You came across town to explain it to me, then?”

  “I came to say…” He shook his head. “I know not what I came to say. Only that I could not, in my current circumstances, support a wife in the manner that she might deserve.”

  “Ah,” said Jane, and her heart began to pound. “Well, I suppose that very few of us get what we deserve, and in many cases, that is a good thing.”

  “If I were to attempt to marry and to… to take care of my family on the pittance of a salary that I draw from the military, it would be disastrous.”

  “Well, I suppose that depends upon your idea of a disaster,” said Jane. “I have a very small inheritance, as you well know, but I do think I could make do with it if necessity struck. And as for your salary, sir, to me it does not seem so terribly small.”

  He swallowed. “Perhaps not, but to me…”

  “Yes,” she said. “I understand. It is as I said to you at the ball, that it was nothing more than dancing between us.”

  “But Miss Bennet, you and I both know that isn’t true,” he said. “Whatever passed between us at the ball, it was far more than dancing. It was… rather the most wondrous thing I may have ever experienced.”

  Her breath caught in her throat. So he had felt it too. But of course he had. He must have felt it. It had been too powerful for only her. “Yes,” she breathed.

  And suddenly, she knew not how it had happened, they had crossed the room and were standing close to each other, only inches away, gazing into each other’s eyes.

  “So,” he said, “I have come today to tell you that… that…”

  “What?” she said. Was he going to ask her to marry him? She could not even dare think that something so splendid would befall her.

  “Well, I don’t know what,” he said. “The situation is hopeless.”

  “Is it?” she said.

  “Yes,” he said, putting a great deal of force behind his words. “I am meant to marry a woman of means, so that I may be comfortable. But—the devil take me—when I look at you, Miss Bennet, I think that comfort is a sad thing to wish for when you make me feel as though I am caught in the eye of a ferocious storm. How can I possibly bear to be separated from you? But, on the other hand, how can I possibly bear to be bound to you? How will we live if I do?”

  She was having trouble catching her breath. He felt as strongly for her as she did for him. She had not allowed herself to admit to herself, knowing there could be nothing between them. But now, could she dare to hope? “We… we could manage, sir, I think.”

  “I don’t know if we could,” he said. “I wish to be the sort of man who throws caution to the wind and lives on love itself, but I am afraid that I am not. I am a coward, Miss Bennet.”

  “You are not a coward.”

  “I am. And hearing that from me, it must cause you to despise me.”

  “I do not know if anything could cause me to despise you.”

  He sighed. “Ah, do not say such things. You worry me that you are as badly off as I am.”

  “Indeed, I think I am,” she said.

  “Then you love me?” he said. “Because I love you, Miss Bennet. I love you more than I think I had ever thought possible.”

  “Yes,” she said. “I love you.”

  “Then we are doomed,” he said. And with that, he seized her hand, kissed it, and quit the room.

  Jane was too stunned to even call after him.

  Moments passed, and then she sat down on a chair. Her hands were shaking.

  * * *

  There was a knock on the morning room door. Elizabeth thought it must be one of the servants, and so she called out, “Come in,” without looking up from the letter of recommendation she was reading for one of the new candidates for housekeeper.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Darcy,” came the voice of her husband.

  She stood up, startled. “Oh, Mr. Darcy. It is you. I was not expecting you.”

  “How are you?” he said.

  “Well,” she said. “Quite well. And yourself?”

  “Also well,” he said. “What’s this I hear about your dismissing the housekeeper?”

  She bit down on her lip. “Well…”

  “Is it true?”

  She looked down at her feet. “It is.”

  “But whatever for?” he said. “Mrs. Stickley has served here for many years. She came to me this morning, bags packed, quite distraught. She said that the two of you had a disagreement.”

  Elizabeth twisted her hands together. Oh, dear, Mr. Darcy was displeased. She didn’t want him to feel that way. She would have to apologize, and she would have to tell him that she had been hasty and then—

  No. She was not going to give that awful Mrs. Stickley her job back. On that point she was firm. She must have a different housekeeper, one who would work with her to accomplish the things s
he needed accomplished.

  Elizabeth drew herself up. “It was more than a disagreement, sir. Since I have arrived, Mrs. Stickley has not treated me with respect. She has thrown disparagement on me and my relations, and she has behaved as if she were better than me. She does not know her place. It was her, indeed, who bemoaned the idea of serving me. I told her she needn’t bother anymore. And it’s not as if I have turned her away without a reference.”

  Mr. Darcy’s eyes widened. “Oh, indeed? Is this the truth of it?”

  “It is,” she said, lifting her chin. “I won’t have a servant in my household who does not respect me, especially not the housekeeper. I cannot bear it, and I will not.”

  “No,” he said. “Nor should you have to. I cannot see any other course you could have taken. In fact, I am surprised you kept her on as long as you did.”

  “You are?” Now it was her turn to be surprised, pleasantly so. “You do not intend to force me to take her back?”

  “Would you agree to that if I did?” he said.

  “Never in a million years,” she said.

  He chuckled. “That is what I thought.”

  “I have already begun looking for a replacement with the butler’s help,” said Elizabeth. “He had some recommendations. I will have everything back in order as soon as possible, I promise you.”

  “Well, then, I shall leave it all in your capable hands,” he said. He crossed the room and cupped her cheek. “That’s my stubborn Elizabeth.”

  She flushed. “You like that I am stubborn?”

  “I could not but help to be drawn to it,” he said. “You are a strong-minded, strong-willed woman, and I wouldn’t have you any other way. I am only lucky that you did not refuse me when I proposed to you. I rather think I may have deserved it.”

  “Sir…”

  “It is not only from the housekeeper you suffered abuse about your relations. It was from me as well, and during the time when I was proposing marriage to you. I was quite an idiot about it. I only thought of myself, and I did not think of you.”

  “Yes, but your actions proved different,” she said. “You helped me to get to my family and you took care of all of us. You may have said things that made it sound as though you were proud, but you were really so generous and kind that you could not have been.”

  “You are the one who is kind to say so,” he said. “Please, simply accept my apology?”

  “If it will please you.”

  “It will.”

  “Then consider yourself forgiven, husband.” She smiled at him.

  Abruptly, his lips darted down to capture hers.

  It was a quick kiss, just a brush of his skin on hers. But she thought it so sweet anyway.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  The day of the ball arrived, and Elizabeth didn’t feel ready, even though her every waking moment had been concerned with preparations for what felt like a very long time. There was still so much to be done.

  She had hired a new housekeeper only a few days after she had dismissed Mrs. Stickley. The new housekeeper was young. Her name was Mrs. Dunlop, and she was quite good at what she did. She seemed to know that her youth would not allow her to maintain a strict command over others in the household, but that she must prevail on them to obey her in some other way, and so she was able to do so by complimenting everyone on their work and winning their hearts to her by her kindness and goodness. Everyone in the house seemed to love her, and they all wanted to please her and thus worked all the harder. She was truly a find.

  Elizabeth could not take the credit for that, however. Mrs. Dunlop had been recommended to her by the butler, and she was indebted to him for his advice. With the new housekeeper, everything went more smoothly in the household, and all the servants seemed to be in better spirits because Mrs. Dunlop was so agreeable.

  The morning of the ball, Elizabeth was down on the lower level of the house, overseeing the removal of all the furniture and carpets from the rooms down there, as they would be used for dancing. She had several of the scullery maids kneeling on the floor and drawing patterns in chalk on them. This was done so that no one would slip on the floors. It also helped disguise any defects in the floors.

  All of the furniture had to be taken downstairs to be stored in the servants’ areas, which made it tight down there as everyone was rushing up and down and all around to get things ready.

  The kitchen staff was working on the late-night supper they would serve for the ball. This was not a dinner party, so the guests would come after their evening meal, but they would expect to be fed something sometime after midnight. And during the entirety of the ball, of course, there would be drinks. Elizabeth kept checking in with the cook to make sure that everything was going as scheduled. She had a lot of things to prepare, and had to work all day and getting it all ready.

  Back upstairs, Elizabeth supervised the placement of as many lamps and candelabras as possible, on all the mantles and in tripods in the corners of all the rooms. It would not do for everything to be too dark. Of course, just before the guests arrived, all the lamps would need to be lit, and she had to make sure that was done. For now, however, they were simply placed.

  When she was happy with the progress being made with the lights, she went to make sure the retiring room was being set up nicely. This would be a place for ladies to leave their shawls and cloaks. It was not so cold outside that everyone would need a coat, but it was a necessity.

  And then there were the decorations to be seen to. The entire place must be covered in plants and flowers and made to look beautiful. Elizabeth had chosen the flowers precisely to please Georgiana, and they’d had a devil of a time finding enough of them in bloom, for it was toward the end of the season for the flowers. Now, Elizabeth went from room to room, fretting about whether or not they were wilting and asking for more water to be brought to try to bring more life to them.

  This all took up the bulk of the day, and Elizabeth was still checking on things and rearranging things here and there when Martha came looking for her to tell that they had drawn a bath for her and that she must get into it if she wanted to have enough time to get dressed and have her hair put up.

  Elizabeth dithered for longer, putting Martha off, but finally got a look at the time herself and tore up the stairs in a panic.

  Her bath was cold. She bathed in it anyway, not willing to waste more time having the water heated again and brought back up the steps. She simply washed quickly and then got out, shivering, to get dried off and dressed for the ball.

  As Martha combed her hair, she assured Elizabeth that it would be the most beautiful ball that anyone had ever seen, and that she had done a remarkable job.

  Elizabeth hoped she was right. She gazed at herself in the mirror and fretted. “What if no one comes?” she said finally. “What if they refuse to come to a ball that I am hosting? They all think I am unworthy of Mr. Darcy, after all.”

  “Hush,” said Martha. “They think no such thing.”

  “Oh, don’t patronize me, Martha. I know what they think of me. I have no illusions of it. They were rude directly to my face. They did not even make an attempt to hide their opinions.”

  “Well, then,” said Martha, “they will all come, if only out of curiosity.”

  “You think so?”

  “Yes, they will believe that you are about to make a fool of yourself and they will come with intention to laugh at your failure. But instead, mum, they will witness your triumph. Because it is marvelous down there, and you must believe me.”

  “Oh,” said Elizabeth, her stomach turning over. “Yes, you are probably right. They will come to laugh at me.”

  “They will not laugh,” assured Martha.

  Elizabeth took a deep breath. “Let them,” she said. “I have worked hard on this night, and I shan’t let anyone spoil it, laughter or no.” She squared her shoulders. She was ready for anything.

  * * *

  For the first hour, Elizabeth feared that her prediction h
ad been true. No one was arriving. She paced in the empty ballroom, worried that Georgiana’s coming-out ball would be utterly ruined and that it was all her fault.

  Lydia came into the room at one point and asked what was the matter.

  Elizabeth spread her hands. “No one’s here!”

  “No self-respecting person arrives at a ball on time,” scoffed Lydia. “Honestly, Lizzy. You should know that.”

  Elizabeth supposed that she had not quite thought of that. It was probably true. With her own family, they had never arrived anywhere on time, but that was usually because it was quite a task to get all her sisters and her mother ready on time. It was not about being fashionably late, only about being unable to move quickly.

  Thoughts of her parents and sisters saddened her, as usual. She had to find a mantel to clutch for a moment until the worst of the grief passed. It always seemed to hit her like a dart that went through her. She would feel the pain of their passing fresh again for a few moments. Then it would be gone again. She did not know if she wanted the pain to fade completely. She knew she must always miss them and love them. She wanted the pain, because it was entwined with her love.

  Sure enough, about an hour after the time the ball was supposed to start, about ten carriages all arrived at once. And soon, within the next hour, the place was packed.

  Elizabeth greeted many of the guests as they arrived, and many of them expressed complimentary sentiments in a puzzled or even disappointed voice.

  “Well… this all so very lovely,” was a frequent comment, as the woman looked about the place, hoping to find something she could find fault with and not being able to do so.

  Some traipsed off afterward, noses in the air. Others offered her a grudging bit of praise. “Well done, Mrs. Darcy,” they might say.

  Martha was right.

  No one laughed.

  Soon, Elizabeth was able to concentrate on other matters, like watching to see Georgiana twirling about the room on the arm of gentleman after gentleman, and seeing that she was smiling and talking to each of them in turn.