Heart of Hope: Books 1-4

by Williams, Ajme

  What the fuck? “If you’re attracted to me, I’d hate to know what it would be like if you didn’t like me because so far, you’ve been clear that you’re not interested.”

  “It’s not a matter of being attracted to you. It’s a matter of our lives being different now. I’m not that twenty-one-year-old girl lit up from the inside out that a handsome, rich guy wants to spend time with her. Five years may not be a long time, but it's been long enough for me to grow up and know real life.”

  I wondered what shithead had come after me to make her think that real life meant she couldn’t indulge in fun.

  “Some people can live in the real world and still enjoy life.”

  “Some people can afford it, Devin. I can’t.”

  I wondered what the fuck that meant. Of course, it didn’t matter. She’d drawn the line and I couldn’t step over it.

  “Okay. If you can resist, so can I.” I started to step back, but her fingers were clutching my shirt.

  I looked from her hand to her eyes, where a torrent of emotion swam through them. “You okay?”

  She shook her head.

  “What’s wrong?” Now concerned, I brought my hands back to her shoulders.

  “I don’t want you to resist. I don’t want to resist.”

  How I didn’t get whiplash from the full-circle twist on her statement I didn’t know.

  “You just said—”

  “I know what I said. What I want and what is the right thing to do are two different things.”

  “I see.” She wanted me but didn’t want to want me. What I didn’t understand was what to do about it.

  “Do you always give up so easily?” she asked.

  I was sure my brows shot up to my hairline her question surprised me so much. “Ah…first, I feel like I’ve made a good case that you have torn down left and right. Second, I might be arrogant, but I know and respect that a no means no.”

  She nodded. “Yes. Of course. That’s sweet.”

  I laughed because I couldn’t figure out what else to do. “Tell me what you want from me, Serena and I’ll do it.”

  “Is it hard to resist me?”

  “It’s the hardest thing. And to be clear, when I talk about hard, I’m not just talking about my willpower.”

  Her head tilted down to where my dick was making himself known in my jeans. Her head jerked back up. I simply stared at her. There was no going forward without her full, one-hundred-percent consent.

  “But you could walk away,” she said softly.

  “I have to. You said no.” I shifted because my dick was uncomfortable. “But, let me ask you because these things aren’t as clear on a woman as they are on a man. Are you turned on? If I were to rub my finger through your pussy, would I find it wet?”

  She swallowed, and I wanted to press kisses to the curve of her throat. I was tempted to brush my thumb over her tit to see if her nipple was hard, but the ball was in her court.

  Just to be sure she knew that I said, “If you want me, Serena. You can have me any way you want.”

  She let out a shuddering breath.

  “But you have to make the move.”

  7

  Serena

  What the heck was I doing? I’d nearly achieved what I wanted; Devin backing off. But as he stepped away from me, physically and emotionally, I found myself yearning for him to keep trying. It was a foolish and dangerous desire. First, I meant what I said in that we weren’t the same people. I suspected what we both wanted was the ease and freedom that we’d had when we’d gotten together the first time. But that time was gone.

  Second, I had to think about Andrew. If Devin found out about him, what would he do? What scared me more was what his mother would do. She didn’t want him, and I didn’t want Andrew having to go through life knowing he wasn’t good enough for his grandmother.

  “I can’t decide if I’m encouraged or offended by the tug-of-war that seems to be going on in your head,” he said as need and common sense warred inside me. “Let me make it easier for you.” Again, he moved to step back.

  “No.” My fingers clutched his shirt tighter. I felt like I was holding on for dear life, which didn’t make sense, but the minute I lost contact, I felt like I’d lose much more than just a chance to be held by him again.

  He detached my fingers from his shirt and brought my hand to his lips. “It’s okay, Serena.”

  Devin could be arrogant, but he was so sweet too. And I wanted him. Every fiber of my being hummed with a need for him. My heart ached for him. Was I really going to let him get away?

  When he released my hand, I launched myself into him, fusing my lips to his. The minute his taste entered my senses, I knew there was no going back. Like memory yarn, my entire body responded, melting into him.

  He groaned and his hands clutched my hips as his head tilted and he took the kiss deeper. His tongue snaked into my mouth, hot and wet, and oh so delicious.

  I pressed my hips forward, rubbing his hard dick against my cleft. My entire body shuddered at the sensation, and need ratcheted up to desperate.

  “I want you,” I gasped against his lips.

  With a growl, he turned me, and maneuvered us back into the living area.

  “Fuck, I can’t make it to a bed.” His hands were everywhere as they yanked at my clothing until I was bare and he laid me back on the couch. He tore his shirt off and lay over me, kissing me again. It was like I’d been starving for him. And at the same time, it was like yesterday. It didn’t make sense, and yet sense had gone out the door.

  His lips cascaded over my jaw and down my neck. “I’ve missed your tits, Serena.” He held them in his hands, pushing them together and then his mouth alternated between them, licking and sucking my nipples. Each tug made my pussy clench and soon I was a whimpering mess.

  “I need you.” My hands grabbed at his pants, needing to free him so he could take care of the ache in my pussy.

  “I’m here,” he said, sliding his body down further, his tongue making a trail over my belly. He kissed my inner thigh. “I’m so fucking hungry for you.”

  My hips bucked up in anticipation. “Please.” My voice was raw and needy.

  Thankfully, he didn’t tease me. His mouth covered my pussy, his tongue lapping through my folds.

  “Yes!” My hands gripped his head making sure he didn’t stop. No, I didn’t want him to ever stop.

  He gave out a moan like I was the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted. His fingers spread my pussy lips, and then his tongue was inside me, lapping and thrusting, pushing me higher and higher.

  “Oh God!” Pleasure grew with each touch until I was hovering on the edge. I needed to come so bad and yet, I didn’t want it to end. Not yet.

  “Come for me,” he rasped out. “Let me taste your juices, baby.” He dove in again, and I cried out.

  “Inside me…”

  “Come first,” he said, and then he sucked on my clit as he thrust a finger inside me. White lights exploded behind my eyes as pleasure so fierce erupted. My entire body convulsed and liquid heat radiated from my pussy out.

  As the waves of sensation died down, he leaped from the couch and shucked his jeans off. Finally, his dick was free and it was as magnificent as I remembered.

  He rolled on a condom and then returned to me. He kneeled between my legs, pushing one over the back of the couch.

  He gripped my hips and then paused. “Tell me you want this.”

  “I want this.” I reached for his dick, needing him to fill me. I ignored every reason this was a bad idea. I pushed away the wonder about why Devin was the only man who made me feel like this. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t met other men since him. I even went on a date or two. But I never felt this pull, this need that I felt for him. I thought it was simply because we’d been young and indulging in a fling. But now, with that same crazy need for him coursing through my blood, I had to wonder what was it about him.

  He leaned over and kissed me hard, and then plunged i
n. He thrust all the way, filling me, stealing my breath.

  His lips tore away from mine. “Ah fuck!” He cried out. “So tight…Jesus…so tight.”

  His hips lifted and then thrust in again and I arched, finding the perfect rhythm with him.

  “Yes, ah, yes,” he moaned as he picked up speed. “So good, baby…I’m gonna come so fast.”

  I gripped his shoulders and focused on the sensation of him sliding inside me. Each ridge of his dick massaging my pussy. It felt so incredibly good. My hips rocked and my body teetered on the edge again.

  “Faster…more…” I gasped as my orgasm hovered along the edge.

  “Fuck, I’m there…I’m there…” He levered back, gripping my hips again and letting go of his control. He thrust and bucked; his head thrown back as he chased his own release.

  He growled and rubbed a thumb over my clit, sending me soaring into another orgasm. My pussy clamped down and my body arched.

  “Yes!” he cried out as my body came around his. He thrust in hard and deep, held for a second as a long feral moan tore from his chest. Then he did it again, grinding his hips against mine. He continued until finally he collapsed over me.

  Our breaths came in heaving gasps. His skin was damp as my arms held him.

  “I have a terrible memory,” he murmured against my neck.

  “Oh?”

  “I’d forgotten how tight you were. How fucking hard you could make me come.”

  I held him, feeling a mixture of satisfaction and sadness. This couldn’t last. Now that the need was fulfilled, worry began to creep in. My goal had been to avoid him altogether, but at the very least avoid emotional or physical entanglements. Now, here I was, naked with his cock still pulsing inside me. I couldn’t regret it. Not yet with the haze of bliss still hovering around me. But soon, I would.

  He lifted his head to look down on me. Those green Irish eyes studied me, like he knew I was having another tug-of-war in my head.

  “Can you stay the night?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “I need to get back.”

  “Spend the day with me then. I’ll take you back after dinner.”

  I should say no. I had to say no. Yet how could I, with his beautiful eyes and sexy smile just inches away?

  “Okay.”

  He smiled, and it flooded my heart with joy. I wish I knew how to quit him, and at the same time, all I wanted was to see that smile as often as I could. I was in deep trouble.

  He kissed me. “Stop thinking about all this, Serena. If today is all you can give me, then I’ll take it.”

  I wanted to give him more. I wanted to see if we could build on what we started five years ago. But I knew it would be a house of cards that would eventually tumble down and, in the end, Andrew would get hurt.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked.

  I worked to push away my concerns and focus on the one day we’d have. I gave him a sexy smile. “For you, yes.”

  He grinned. “Whatever you want from me, take it.”

  “I didn’t get a good look at you. I want to see you. All of you.”

  He moved off me, removing the condom, tying it off. “I need to dispose of this.” He sauntered off completely naked. I admired his ass as he disappeared down a hall.

  He came back naked and held out a hand. “How about breakfast?”

  “Okay.” I reached for my shirt.

  “You don’t need that. I want to see you too.”

  I didn’t have a problem with my body. Yes, it was bigger than what most women wanted, but I liked my curves. Devin liked my curves. But that didn’t mean I was comfortable walking around naked.

  He smirked. “Don’t hide those magnificent tits.” He held out his hand. I took it and let him lead me to the kitchen. He whipped up eggs and toast.

  “I didn’t know you could cook,” I said as he set a plate in front of me.

  “A man’s gotta eat.”

  “I just figured you had a cook.”

  He glanced at me. “My parents do. I don’t. I can also drive and even iron my own clothes, although I do prefer to pay people for that.”

  “Sorry,” I said feeling like maybe I was being unfair to him.

  “Hey.” He reached out and put his hand over mine. “It’s okay. I know my world is different from most people’s. But I’m not different. I’m still a guy who has a hardon for a girl.”

  “Do you?” I leaned over to look in his lap. His dick wasn’t full-on hard, but it wasn’t completely flaccid either. As I watched, it seemed to thicken.

  “Always.”

  “Hmm.” I wiped some of the jam on my plate with my finger and drew it along his dick. Now it was nearly full-tilt. It was magnificent, beautiful and I wanted to taste it.

  “Ah fuck, Serena.”

  I pushed at him until he scooted his chair back and I could kneel between his legs. “I want to suck you.”

  His fingers thread through my hair. “I’m not stopping you.”

  I licked a line over the jam I’d drawn on his length. His dick jumped and he hissed.

  I gripped him with my fist, giving him a stroke as I licked one ball and then the other.

  He groaned and he adjusted his hips to give me better access. I pushed his thighs wider as I moved closer to him and brought his dick to my mouth.

  “Yes, baby, yes, suck me.”

  I pressed my lips over his tip, and licked my tongue along the velvety smoothness.

  He let out a long sigh. “More.”

  I inhaled the scent of him, a mixture of soap and something uniquely Devin. It was exactly the same as it had been five years ago. That hadn’t changed. Nor had the taste of him. Or my need for him.

  I drew him into my mouth slowly, flicking my tongue over him as he slipped through my lips. I cupped and massaged his balls as I began to work him as he’d taught me five years ago, sliding my lips up and down, slow at first, and faster as his breath quickened and his hips rocked.

  Soon he was panting. “I’m gonna come…Show me your tits.”

  I withdrew him from my mouth and jacked him off, as I held up one breast for him. He tweaked the nipple.

  “I want to come on them…fuck…I’m there.” His dick jerked in my hand and milky hot liquid sprayed out over my breast. He groaned as I continued to stroke his cock and his cum cover my chest.

  He sagged back in his chair, dropping his head back. I leaned forward and licked the tip of his dick before pulling it back into my mouth and cleaning him off.

  His fingers found my hair again. “I love your mouth.”

  I smiled up at him. I’d never felt so sexy and feminine except around him. “You made a mess.”

  He grinned. “It’s your fault.” In a quick move, he stood, pulling me up with him and pushing me back until I was sitting on the edge of the table. “My turn.”

  8

  Devin

  Did I want Serena out at the beach house for a chance to fuck her? Sure. But to be honest, I thought the best I might get was her warming up to me. Maybe a kiss. So, I was feeling really good about this turn of events. Already I’d had two mind-blowing orgasms, and now I was going to get lost in her luscious body. If I was lucky, by the time she was ready, I’d be hard again and I could feel her tight pussy hugging my cock again. Thank God I brought a few condoms into the kitchen with me after our romp on the couch.

  She sat on the edge of the table, and I pushed her thighs open so I could step between them as I cradled her face and kissed her. So far, I had her for one day, but if I played my cards right, I planned to parlay that into more days.

  As I kissed her, I cupped her breasts. My sticky cum coated them, sending a new wave of blood to my dick at the eroticism of that. I dipped my head, using my tongue to clean her tits, sucking her nipples as I did. I loved the little gasps and sighs that escaped her mouth as I played with her tits. The first time we’d been together, she’d been a virgin, but she hadn’t been hesitant. She’d been open and responsive. I’d never been with a wom
an like that. Sure, some women were eager and assertive in bed, but with Serena, it always felt like she was surrendering her pleasure to me. She gave herself over to my touch and let me know exactly what it did to her.

  I’d been a little concerned this time, since she was so guarded around me, that it would be different. That even in sex, a part of her would be withheld from me. But that wasn’t the case. From that first kiss, I felt her body go completely pliant against mine. It was like she was melting into me. It was fucking fantastic.

  As I focused on her nipples, her hand went to my dick, gently stroking him back to life. Not that he needed that. Simply being next to her. Touching her. That’s all my dick needed to fill with liquid heat.

  For a moment, I wondered how many other men since me had a chance to suck her tits and fuck her sweet pussy. I growled at the thought of it. Mine. Of course, she wasn’t mine. She hadn’t been mine since the day she decided not to run off with me. But that didn’t mean that deep in my soul, part of me still felt connected to her. That part of me was hers, and she was still mine.

  I pushed that away knowing it was too soon to be thinking like that. First, she was right in that we were different and perhaps this little tryst would end with us realizing that what we had five years ago was great, but that we couldn’t recapture it.

  Good luck with that, I thought. I knew already that even while she might leave today thinking this was a one-off, I’d want more. I’d always wanted more. The fact that during our time apart, there were times I was with another woman, but imagining Serena at the moment of orgasm told me she’d always been there with me, even when I thought I’d put her behind me.

  I pushed her back until she lay on the table. “I’m still hungry.” I reached over for the jam, taking a large glop in my fingers and running it over her belly and lower to that sexy nest of curls.

  “Oh!” she gasped.

  “You’re already sweet down there,” I said as I lapped up the jam from her belly, dragging my tongue down. I’d feasted on her earlier, but I could never get enough of her sweet pussy.