Carl’s lips twitched. “The cook tried to make them look like cats.” He set the plate down.
Andrew looked closely and then grinned. “They do look like cats. My mommy makes clowns.”
It was silly to feel annoyed by that. Of course, he’d talk about his mom. She was all he knew. Still, I felt ripped off. I’d missed so much time.
“Sir?” Carl looked at me. “Shall I find something for Young Master Andrew to sit on?”
“Oh goodness, Carl, is Mom Downton Abbeying you too? Young Master…” Bri rolled her eyes.
Carl shrugged.
“Yes, if there’s something for him to sit on that would be great, Carl, thank you. Are they coming down?”
“They’ll be here shortly.”
“Have you warned him about her?” Bri asked sitting across the table from us.
“No. And I’d appreciate it if you’d behave too.”
She looked at Andrew. “I always behave.” She winked.
Andrew grinned and then looked up at me. “I don’t have a sister.”
“You’re not missing much.”
“Hey!” A piece of toast came across the table, hitting me in the chest.
“See, she’s not house trained.” But I glared at her. If she set Mom off, it would be a difficult morning and I didn’t need that for Andrew’s first day.
My parents entered together, which wasn’t normal. I wondered if my mom wanted to make a grand, master and mistress of the house, entrance, or if my father was keeping my mother in line.
I stood and leaned over to pick up Andrew. “Mom, Dad, I’d like to introduce you to Andrew.”
They moved toward us, my mother’s hard eyes staring at Andrew. Jesus, he was going to think she was the Wicked Witch of the West.
As they got closer, Andrew held out his hand. “I’m Andrew.”
“At least someone has manners,” Bri quipped from her side of the table.
My father took his hand. “You can call me grandfather.”
My mother gasped and looked at my father like he’d grown a third eye.
“It’s very nice to meet you, young Andrew,” he said ignoring my mother.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” Andrew extended his hand toward my mother. She looked at it like it had cooties. “My mommy says it’s good manners to shake hands when you meet someone.” I guess he thought she didn’t understand what he was doing so he was explaining it.
“His mom has manners too. Imagine that.”
I glared at Bri.
“Mother.” I hope she read in my eyes that I was telling her not to be such a jerk.
“I’m Mrs. Roarke.” She gave his hand a quick shake and then went to her seat.
Andrew leaned closer to my ear. “Is she your mommy?”
“Yes.”
“Isn’t she Grandma then?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Carl entered with two thick books. “This should work for now,” he said, putting them on Andrew’s chair.
“What’s that for?” my mother snapped.
“So he’s tall enough to sit at the table, madam. Can I get you some orange juice?” Carl asked. “Cook is nearly finished with your omelet as well.”
“Yes, thank you, Carl.”
“So kid, you in school?” Bri asked.
“I’m four. I go to school when I’m five.”
“What? That’s too late,” my mother said, looking horrified. “He should be in pre-k.”
“Andrew here wants to be a pilot when he grows up,” I said giving Andrew a pat on the shoulder.
“You can kiss that dream goodbye,” Bri quipped.
“Bri.” I gave her a warning.
She shrugged. “First born Roarke boys don’t get to pursue their dreams.”
“My daddy took me in an airplane. We went so high and so fast, didn’t we Daddy?”
Everyone else at the table stopped and looked at me.
“We did.” I frowned as I wondered what was up. “What?” I mouthed to Bri.
“It’s so freaking weird to hear him call you Daddy.”
“It’s premature, if you ask me,” my mother said under her breath.
“Katherine, we have a guest,” my father reminded her.
“If you’re not in school, what do you do?” my mother asked.
I rolled my eyes. I was sure this was one of her sneaky ways to interrogate him about Serena. While I was angry with the woman, it wasn’t my mother’s place to probe Andrew for information to use against her.
“If my mommy is home, we go to the park or the library. When she’s at work, I go to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. We play games and read. I help my grandma cook too.”
“What do you cook?” Bri asked.
“Cookies and stew.” He looked up at me. “My grandma gave me the stew recipe for you.”
“What stew recipe?” my mother’s eyes narrowed.
“Daddy came over for dinner once and he loved my grandma’s stew. She thinks he should serve at…” He frowned and looked up at me. “I don’t remember.”
Inwardly I winced because I knew this wasn’t going to go well. “The Roarke.”
“Yes. It’s a fancy restaurant. That's what my grandma says.”
“It is fancy,” my mother said. “Too fancy for stew.”
Taking a page from Andrew’s books of naive honesty, I said, “It was true authentic Irish stew. More Irish than what is served there now.”
“And I suppose you plan on changing that when you steal away the company from your father.”
Everyone at the table quieted. Andrew looked up at me, his eyes wide with fear. “Is she mad?”
“No, honey, that’s how she always is,” Bri said.
I closed my eyes because I knew all hell was about to break loose.
“When I’m mad, my mommy tells me to count to five and then give someone a hug. Hugs always make you feel better.”
He jumped down from his chair and walked over to my mother. I could see what he was about to do and I wanted to stop him because I was sure it wasn’t going to go well.
He stopped beside my mother and extended his arms. “Can I give you a hug, grand…Mrs. Roarke?”
“Katherine.” My father’s tone suggested he was worried too.
She sniffed and then stiffly turned in her chair. Andrew put his arms around her. She allowed it, but didn’t return it. When he kissed her on the cheek, she flinched.
“Do you feel better?” he asked.
She mustered an insincere smile. “I do. Thank you, Andrew.”
“You’re welcome.” He skipped back to his seat. I helped him back into his chair.
“Who’d have thought all this family needed was a hug?” Bri said with a laugh.
Once my mother was out of the picture, the day went well. The weather was crappy, but Bri and I took Andrew to the attic where we indeed found some cool items and old toys, including an old Lionel train set.
“Just don’t leave it plugged in,” my sister said. “That plug looks older than Dad.”
We played hide-n-seek, and I taught him how to play pool. Andrew didn’t bring a swimsuit, but he did have an extra pair of underwear, so I took him swimming in his tighty whities. All the while I was making mental notes of things that I’d need to get for him at my place.
We had dinner again with my parents, and my mother wasn’t as shrill, although she was still cool and aloof.
It wasn’t until I put him to bed in the guest room nearest to my room that I started to have trouble.
“I want my mommy.” Andrew stood next to the bed, refusing to get in.
“You’ll see her tomorrow,” I said. I pulled a book from his backpack. “Why don’t we read this plane book.”
His lower lip quivered and his eyes filled with tears. “I want my mommy. Where’s my mommy?”
An oh-shit feeling came over me. That and a feeling of total and complete ineptitude. “I tell you what,” I started wondering if bargaining was the right
thing to do. I mentally added a parenting book on my list of items to buy. “You get into bed, and we’ll call your mom.”
“Promise?”
“Yes, of course.” I pulled the covers down as I slipped my phone from my pocket. “We’ll video chat, so you can see her.”
He sniffed and nodded. He climbed into the bed, and I called Serena.
“Devin?” Her blue eyes filled the screen. It occurred to me that Andrew had blue eyes like her, but the shape of them were like mine, as was much of the rest of him.
“Hi…ah…Andrew is homesick. He’d like to talk to you.”
“Okay.”
I handed Andrew the phone. “See your mom here? And she can see you too.”
“Hi Mommy.” He waved at the phone.
“Hi baby. You having fun?”
“Yes. I went swimming in my undies.”
“Goodness. We’ll remember to pack your swimsuit next time. What else did you do?”
“We played hide and seek and Carl calls me young master Andrew.”
I didn’t want to eavesdrop, and yet I didn’t want to leave him alone either. I went to the window and looked out into the darkened night.
“So, it’s been a good day?” she asked.
“Auntie Bri likes to make trouble. But I like her, she’s funny.”
“I’m glad. Did you see your grandparents too?”
When I didn’t hear anything, I looked over at him. His eyes were looking at me as he held the phone close to his mouth and whispered to Serena. I couldn’t make out what he was saying.
“I’m sure that’s not the case,” Serena said, but there was something in her tone that put me on edge. Like he’d told her something that made her upset.
“She doesn’t.” Andrew shook his head. “I even tried to give her a hug, because you said people sometimes need hugs. I don’t think she liked it.”
Ah fuck. He was talking about my mother.
“Maybe she’s having a hard day. You know, even you get grumpy sometimes and don’t want hugs.”
I had to hand it to Serena, she had the opportunity to skewer my mother in Andrew’s eyes, but wasn’t taking it.
“Are you going to sleep now?” she asked.
“Yes. Daddy said he’d read me a book.”
“Well, you have sweet dreams. I miss you, baby. But I know you’re having so much fun with your daddy.”
“I miss you, Mommy.”
I heard her blow him a kiss. He leaned forward and kissed the phone. Then he held it up to me. I took it and saw her still on the line.
“Let me talk to your mom for a minute, okay? I’ll be right back.”
“’Kay.” Andrew picked up the book and started to read while I stepped into the hallway.
“I think he’ll be okay now,” she said. It wasn’t what I expected. I told her I’d protect him from my mother, and I hadn’t done a good job of it. I’d expected her to go at me on it.
“She didn’t say anything bad to him,” I said, feeling like I should address it anyway.
She looked down. “Kids can sense how people feel about them. He thinks she doesn’t like him.”
“I’ll talk to him.”
“Maybe you need to talk to her,” she snapped. Immediately I saw her eyes turn to regret. “I’m sorry…I just…he’s innocent in all this.”
“I’ll deal with it. I promise.”
She nodded. “Thank you.” She looked tired and sad and a lot of what I felt.
“How did you do all this by yourself?”
She smiled warmly. “I had my parents help. But most I learned as I went. I’ve had time to adjust and adapt. You’ll get it.”
“I don’t know. I don’t have even half of what I need.” I shook my head, starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by it all.
“Like what?”
“A booster seat. Toys. All of it. I’ve started a list.”
“You’ll need a car seat if you want to take him in your car,” she said.
“Jesus, how much does one little kid need?”
“I can give you a list, if you like.”
“How will I know what to choose?” I ran my hand through my hair.
“The people at the shop, or maybe you can bring your sister.”
I snorted. “Bri would be useless. I’d probably come home with a ten-foot-tall stuffed panda or something.”
Serena smiled, and I had an urge to reach out to touch her. Not in a sexual sense, but just in a camaraderie.
“Maybe you could take me,” I said.
She jerked in surprise. “Ah…yeah, sure. I’d be happy to help.”
Feeling a bit awkward I nodded. “Good. Great. I should probably go read his book.”
“Give him a kiss for me.”
“I will.”
“Goodnight, Devin.”
I ended the call and put the phone back in my pocket. I entered the bedroom to find Andrew asleep with his book tucked under his arm. I made sure he had his covers pulled up and kissed his forehead. I did it. My first day as a dad.
27
Serena
Twice, I had my coat on and was heading out the door to Devin’s house. Not because I didn’t think he was doing a good job, but because the idea of my son thinking his grandmother Roarke didn’t like him. Seriously, what was wrong with her?
Then I’d remember that Devin was there and would protect Andrew. And I wasn’t without sin. The difference between me and her was that I recognized what I did was wrong and felt horrible about it. It was possible I’d lost my one chance at true happiness because I’d made a big mistake.
I didn’t sleep well, and I was distracted all day, looking at the clock until Devin brought Andrew home. Finally, at seven, my buzzer rang and I let them in the building.
I scooped Andrew into my arms before my door was fully open.
“Mommy you’re squishing me,” Andrew giggled.
“I’m sorry. I missed you so much. I think you grew.”
His eyes widened. “Really?”
“Here’s his stuff,” Devin said, handing me Andrew’s backpack and suitcase.
“Thank you. I have something for you if you can wait a minute.”
He shrugged and stepped in, shutting the door behind him.
“You need to get into the tub and then to bed.”
“Can Daddy give me a bath?” He looked to Devin.
“Your daddy might have other plans.”
“I don’t mind,” Devin said.
I was an idiot to be so happy to hear that. He’s here for Andrew, I reminded myself. Devin would be nice to me because I was Andrew’s mother, but it didn’t mean anything.
“Okay. Why don’t you show your dad what to do,” I told Andrew.
“Come on, Daddy.” He took Devin’s hand and led him to the bathroom.
I put the items in Andrew’s backpack away, and his clothes in the hamper. Then I tiptoed to the bathroom, looking in as Andrew sat in the tub. I think there were more bubbles than water, but Andrew was smiling as was Devin.
I pulled out my phone and snapped a picture. If this was the best I’d have in terms of a family, I’d be okay with it. It was better than I deserved after what I’d done.
I left them alone, pouring a glass of wine and reading my book while I waited for them to finish. Twenty minutes later, Andrew ran out naked and giggling.
“Hey!” Devin followed him, his shirt wet and soap on his arms.
“Problem?” I quirked an amused brow at him.
“He’s slippery.” He stood looking down at a giggling Andrew.
“Catch me, Daddy.”
Devin lurched, but missed Andrew. “I think he might have a future as an athlete.”
“I’m going to be a businessman,” Andrew said. “That’s what oldest boy Roarke’s do.”
My insides went cold. I jerked my gaze to Devin, whose expression seemed to match my emotion.
“You’ll be allowed to do what you want. I promise,” Devin said.
“C
an I be a pilot and a businessman?” Andrew asked.
“Yes.” Devin reached out and grabbed Andrew. “Got you.”
“Get your jammies on, Andrew. It’s past your bedtime,” I said.
Devin took Andrew to his nook and I could hear them talking. It reminded me of that first day in the park when they’d so easily taken to each other.
I stood and went to the nook. “Ready to say goodnight?”
“Yep. Daddy, when can I come see you again?”
“Soon. I’ll talk to your mom about it.” Devin hugged him. “Goodnight, son.”
“Goodnight, Daddy.”
Devin moved out of the nook.
“I still have that thing for you,” I said to him. “If you can wait a minute.”
“I’ll wait.”
I sat on Andrew’s bed. “I’m so happy you had fun, baby.”
“I did. Everyone is nice.” He lowered his voice. “Except his mommy. But Auntie Bri says she’s mean to everyone.”
“You get some sleep, okay? I know Grandma and Grandpa will want to hear about all your fun tomorrow.”
“Goodnight Mommy.”
I hugged him and gave him a kiss. I turned out the light, and closed the screen I used to block off the area then went up the short hall to the living area.
Devin was looking over my bookshelves. “You read a lot.”
“I do. A book and wine are my me-time.” I went to the kitchenette and picked up the paper from the counter. I’d filled it with the things Devin might want to have when it was his turn to have Andrew.
“What did you do last night?” he asked.
“I tried not to miss Andrew and I read and had a glass of wine. Maybe two.”
He smiled, and I was glad that he was in a place where we could be civil.
I handed him the list. “Here’s some things you might want and some things that Andrew likes.”
He took the list, scanning it. “Thank you.”
“Do you want a glass of wine?”
He looked at me and I felt like maybe I’d gone one step too far.
“I mean…only that…we’re co-parenting now. If you have questions or something…” Shut up Serena, I said to myself. “Or not.”
He inhaled a breath. “I’d take a glass.”
My heart did a flip. My brain told it to settle down. He was being nice, not forgiving me. Not giving me a second chance.
Heart of Hope: Books 1-4 Page 44