I got him a glass of wine, handing it to him as he sat on the couch. I sat at the far end so he wouldn’t think I was trying to rekindle what I’d doused.
“He’s a great kid, Serena.”
I smiled. “He really is.”
“From now on, he’ll be staying with me at my home. Overall everything went well. Bri thinks the world of him and even my father got a kick out of him.”
“Your mom?”
He shook his head and took a sip of the wine. “I won’t let her hurt him, Serena. I promise.”
I nodded, but wasn’t convinced she wouldn’t somehow get her venom on my son.
“I had it out with her this morning. My mother has always been focused on image and breeding and all that bullshit, as you know. But I’ll be honest, I was shocked to learn she’d tried to pay you off.”
“So, she admitted it?” I asked.
He laughed derisively. “Her response was ‘Of course, I did,’ like that was a normal thing to do. I’m sorry for that Serena. That doesn’t mean I’m over what you did, but I have a better sense of why you made some of the decisions you did.”
“Thank you.”
“But I’m his father. You can’t make decisions for him regarding my mother without me. Not anymore.”
“Yes, of course.”
He sipped his wine and stared off as if thoughts of his mother were rambling around in his brain.
“Devin?”
“Hmm?” He looked at me but I wasn’t sure he was seeing me.
“I really am sorry.” I pressed my hand over my heart. “I know the words aren’t enough, but I wish I’d done it differently.”
He pursed his lips. “Do you wish you’d avoided me? Turned down the job of doing the anniversary party?”
“I can’t deny that at first I wanted to keep you away, but now, if I could do it over, I’d have told you at the beach that first time.”
“You had many opportunities.”
I looked down into my wine. “I was trying to find a way where I could tell you and keep you too. But there was no way. I’d accepted that. I was going to tell you the night after the flight. And yes, when you said you wanted to make love, I chose that because I was sure it would be the last time. That was selfish of me.”
“So, all that time you were pushing me away, it was because of Andrew?”
I hated to admit it out loud because it sounded so awful. “I didn’t want to. I wanted you, but I was afraid of losing you. It was wrong. Not just to you but to Andrew too.” Shame and guilt overwhelmed me, and tears flowed. “I thought I was a better person.”
“I thought so too.” He set his wine down and stood. “Thank you for the wine. I’ll be in touch about seeing Andrew again.”
I sniffed and rose to walk him out. “You know where to find us.”
As he walked out the door, he stopped. “Oh, thank your mom for the recipe. I’m thinking of suggesting it for the menu on St. Patrick's. Would she be okay with that?”
I smiled. “She’d love that. But you have to use mutton. It’s not the same without it.”
He gave me a small smile. “I’ll let the chef know that.”
As I settled into bed last night, I felt good about Devin and I co-parenting Andrew together. He was hurt by my actions and not likely to forgive me, but he was able to push his personal anger at me aside for Andrew. Since Andrew was the most important part of this equation, I had to be happy with that.
28
Devin
There had been a minute in Serena’s living room where I’d nearly taken her into my arms. She’d started to cry, and even after what she’d done, it tore me up inside. How had I gone from wanting her to feel like shit for what she’d done to hoping she could forgive herself and move on? Maybe because I believed her. In her shoes, I might have made some of the same choices. Was she selfish? A little bit. But I also believed she genuinely worried about Andrew. And with good reason, as it turned out.
After breakfast that morning, Bri took Andrew to play and I had it out with my mother, but she didn’t budge on her position. Was it simply because Serena wasn’t the right social status that she hated her? Or that I hadn’t been with the woman she picked? Or maybe my mother was just a bitch.
Aside from having fun with Andrew, I noticed that my father perked up some as well. My father tried to teach Andrew chess, and later Andrew taught him Go Fish. Why couldn’t my mother be like a normal grandparent?
Over the next week, I called Andrew every night through Serena’s phone. After I said goodnight to him, Serena and I would talk. The first couple of nights, it was a short conversation, usually around Andrew. But then one night we somehow got off-topic, where I was telling her about my challenges in running the business. When we hung up, I realized we’d been on the phone for nearly two hours. The next few nights were the same, until Andrew came to stay with me on Saturday.
On that night, she called to say goodnight to him, and then she and I talked again for an hour. By Wednesday the following week, I found myself looking forward to our chats, and going so far as wanting to see her. She was everything that I’d remembered from five years ago and even when I first got back. Funny. Smart. Sweet. Down to earth. Sexy.
Last night, I woke in the middle of night with a raging hardon dreaming about her. My dick was so hard, I had to grab a tissue and jerk him off. What was I thinking when I made the leap into bliss? Serena’s sweet mouth sucking me off.
It didn’t make sense that I was still drawn to her. She lied. She kept my son from me. While my mother played a part in the beginning and did take some of the blame off Serena, I couldn’t get past all the time we’d spent together over the last weeks and she never said a word about Andrew. Could I forgive that? How could I trust her?
St. Patrick’s Day was the following week, and we were in the final plans of the Roarke’s party, including serving Irish Stew. It was listed on the menu as Mrs. Moore’s Authentic Irish Mutton Stew. I asked my assistant to be sure to extend invitations to Mr. and Mrs. Moore, my treat.
Nikita and her team, which included Serena, were at the Roarke this afternoon, going over logistics, checking that all the liquor and food was ordered, and finalizing the menu.
I was talking with the chef when I noticed my mother walking across the dining area.
“Why is she here?” I asked.
“She likes to check the menu for St. Patrick’s Day,” Chef said.
“She’s not going to like the stew.” I shook my head, as it worked overtime to try and figure out how to intercept her.
The chef gave me a sheepish smile. “We have a decoy menu for her, if you like.”
I quirked a brow.
Chef shrugged. “We like your menu. We want to serve it, but we’ve been working with Mrs. Roarke on St. Patrick's for years.”
“Show her the decoy. I’ll handle any issues on the night if it becomes a thing.”
The chef nodded.
“I should see what other trouble she’s making.” I strode through the restaurant, but didn’t see her there or in the lounge. I headed to the banquet and meeting rooms. A few were in use.
When I heard my mother’s terse voice, I stopped outside the door.
“I will expose you,” my mother hissed.
“Mrs. Roarke, I don’t know what you think you have on me.”
Jesus, my mother had cornered Serena.
“I tell you what, I’ve got a check in your name for five million. You take it and your bastard child and make a new start somewhere else.”
What the fuck? My blood boiled that my mother would call Andrew a bastard child.
“I didn’t take your money the last two times you offered it, why would I do it now?”
I had to hand it to Serena, she was playing it cool.
“Ten million.”
“I can’t be bought, Mrs. Roarke.”
“What is that look you’re giving me? Do you know who I am?” my mother seethed.
“I don’t unde
rstand why you’d do something to hurt your son. He loves Andrew. And Andrew, he’s your grandson—”
“He is not my grandson! I’m going to prove it too. I’ll expose you and Devin will see you for who you really are. He’ll leave you in an instant. You don’t love him anyway. Tell me what you really want.”
God, my mother could be horrible. I really needed to stop this. I was about to step in, when Serena said, “Mrs. Roarke, in a perfect world. Devin and Andrew and I would be a happy family. I love your son. More than anything. I ruined that, so you don’t have to worry about him sullying your family with a lower-class woman—”
Jesus fucking Christ.
She continued, “Now as far as proving Andrew isn’t your grandson, that’s not possible.”
“We’ll see about that,” my mother scoffed.
“I was a virgin. Devin is the only man I’ve been with. If it’s not his, then Andrew is an immaculate conception.”
Jesus. My mother didn’t need to know all that.
“Listen to me,” my mother’s voice held a venom I’d never heard before. “I have that boy’s DNA and when I’m done testing it, it will show that you’re a liar. Take the money and leave.”
“No.”
I’d heard enough. I walked into the room. Serena’s gaze caught mine, and she looked a little dazed.
She lifted her chin. “I appreciate your sharing your thoughts, Mrs. Roarke. I have to pass.” She hurried toward the door.
I reached out to take her arm as she passed me. “Serena.”
“I have work to do, Devin.” I saw tears in her eyes, and hated that my mother’s bitterness had put them there. But I released her, letting her leave.
When I knew Serena was out of the room, I said, “Answer her question.”
My mother shook her head like the conversation I just overheard was nothing. “What question?”
“Why would you do something to hurt me?”
“I’m trying to protect you,” she snapped. “She’s trying to pass that boy off as yours. And you’re letting her. She’s not worthy of you.”
“She’s a better person than you, mother.”
My mother jerked like I’d slapped her. “I know you think I’m a conceited woman, but we have a business and reputation to consider.”
“We also live in the twenty-first century. Even in England a prince married a divorced mixed-race American.” I stepped to her. “That boy is mine. I resent you taking DNA from him to test him. If I ever, EVER, hear you dismiss him as mine, I will make it my mission to ruin you.”
Her eyes widened. “You’re ungrateful.”
“I’m protecting my son. Isn’t that what you say you’re doing for me? The difference is that I’m a grown man who can make my own decisions. I know I’m not making the ones that you want, but it’s my life. You accept me and my son, or—”
“Or what?”
“Or I walk. Don’t think I won’t. I’ve invested well and am prepared to buy the clubs from the business. I don’t need you or your money.”
She let out a breath and for the first time, it seemed like her bravado was falling. “Your father’s legacy is on the line here.”
“No, it’s not. What I do is on me. And maybe if you had faith in me, you’d see I could make good choices. The company is doing well. Profits are up this quarter.”
“That woman won’t fit—”
“We’d be so lucky to have that woman in our family. She’s kind and good.”
“She kept her son from you.”
“She did. So, did you. The difference is that she feels bad about it.”
“Mr. Roarke,” Nikita poked her head through the door. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but we have a few items to review.”
“I’ll be right there.” I turned my attention back to my mother. “Dad accepts Andrew. Andrew wants to love you so much. It broke my heart to hear him say he doesn’t think you like him. Seriously, mother. You hurt and scare a four-year-old boy. If you’re so worried about the Roarke family reputation, you’d better hope he doesn’t tell his friends how mean his grandmother Roarke is.”
“You’re cruel, Devin.”
“So are you, Mother. I’ll work on it if you do.”
She pursed her lips. “I’m going home.”
“Good idea. Do you want me to call your driver?”
“No.” With her chin up, she exited the room. I took a deep breath and followed her out. I headed to the bar with Nikita on my heels.
I poured my own drink and scanned the area. “Where’s Serena?”
“She went back to the office,” Nikita said.
“How was she?” I looked at my glass as I swirled my drink. I felt like my insides were warring.
“She was like how most people are after being cornered by your mother, although I don’t know why she’d target Serena.”
I downed my drink. “Do you believe in forgiveness, Nik?”
“In general, yes.”
“Some things don’t warrant forgiveness?” I asked.
“Well, murder seems unforgivable, although I suppose under some circumstances it’s justifiable.”
“How about not telling a man he has a son?”
She frowned. “Well, that’s not good, but if he was abusive—”
“He’s not.”
“I imagine there are circumstances where that could be forgiven. It would depend on why the information was kept hidden. If she did it out of spite or selfishness, that would be bad.”
“What if she was offered money?”
Nikita shrugged. “If she took it, that would be bad.”
“What if she didn’t?”
Nikita frowned. “If she didn’t take the money, why not tell the father?”
“Because the father’s mother is Katherine Roarke.” I poured another drink.
She had an ah-ha expression. “Well then, that makes sense.” Then she frowned. “Wait, are you saying you have a child?” Her brows knitted together and she looked like she was replaying our conversation again. “Is Serena’s son also your son?”
I nodded. I hadn’t told anyone but my family, and of all the people to open up to, Nikita wasn’t the obvious choice. But then again, she knew Serena.
“Wow. Okay…well… I think the world of Serena. If she didn’t tell you, I think she’d have a reason. She’d probably feel like shit though. Especially denying Andrew a dad. She’d do anything for that kid.”
“Do you think my mother would do anything for me?”
“I think there’s a lot your mother would do for you if it benefited her.”
I downed my drink and considered having another. Instead, I decided I needed air. “I trust you Nik. Whatever you want or need for this event, take care of it. I’ve got to go.”
“Yeah, sure, okay.”
I started to leave and then stopped. “Oh, if you fire Serena for being with me, I’ll fire you.”
Looking a bit dazed she nodded. “No worries there, Mr. Roarke.”
“Good.” I headed to the elevator and out into the cool March afternoon. There was an electricity snapping in the air that had me keyed up. I just had to figure out what to do with all that pent-up energy. What was it urging me to do?
29
Serena
I went back to my office, but I was too frazzled to work. Mostly I just sat and replayed Mrs. Roarke’s conversation. How’d she get DNA from Andrew? I hoped she got it from a hairbrush or a glass, and didn’t do anything to hurt or scare my child. The idea of it made me sick.
I wondered how much Devin heard and whether he blamed me. He knew how I felt about her. Just my luck that now that we were getting along, he’d get angry at me for getting in a fight with his mother.
It was yet another reminder about why I couldn’t read anything to our late-night conversations. I looked forward to them so much. But it was silly to think that we were working our way back to each other. The truth was, I’d hurt him too deeply to ever have him forgive me.
When I arrived at my building, I texted my parents asking them to watch Andrew a bit longer. I told them I had a hard day and wanted a little time to decompress in my apartment. They didn’t need to know about the dragon queen.
I leaned against the elevator wall as it took me up to my floor. The doors opened and I exited, walking to my apartment. I stopped short when I saw Devin leaning against the wall outside my apartment.
“Devin?”
He looked up from his phone, straightening from the wall. “Your parents said you’d be here.”
I frowned, not understanding why he was talking to my parents.
“I was at their place waiting for you. And getting my pants beat off me in Go Fish by Andrew and your dad. They’re cutthroat at that game.”
His small smile had my own lips twitching upwards. “Yes, they are.”
I opened the door, wondering why he was there. It must have to do with his mother. “Devin, I didn’t approach her—”
“I know.” He shut the door behind him. “I feel like I should apologize for her.”
I shook my head. “It’s not your fault. At the risk of upsetting you though, I have to say, I don’t know how you came out so good with a mom like that.”
He smiled. “You think I’m good?”
I stared at him, still unsure what his purpose for being here was. “Yes. You know I do, my unforgivable behavior notwithstanding.” I huffed out a breath, feeling completely off-kilter. “Do you want wine? I need wine.”
“Let me get it. You sit.” He watched me for a minute. “I forget how she can rattle people. I’m used to it.”
I sank into the couch. “Did she come to see me or was she there for something else and saw me? I didn’t think she remembered me.”
“She was there for St. Patrick’s Day planning,” he said from my kitchenette. “I suspect Bri let her know who you were, and at the restaurant when she saw the event planning staff there, asked about you.”
“Devin, she took Andrew’s DNA.” my voice pitched up as grief and shock and pain all whirled around me.
“I know.” His voice sounded bothered by that too. “I’m sorry, Serena.” He handed me a full glass of wine and sat next to me. “I don’t know why her audacity surprises me. I suppose I thought there were lines she wouldn’t cross.”
Heart of Hope: Books 1-4 Page 45