Heart of Hope: Books 1-4

by Williams, Ajme

His finger traced the edge of the stockings and then up the little garter belt. “I like it a lot. I think I just came in my pants.”

  I looked at the significant bulge in his pants. “If you did, you’re hard again.” I reached out to undo his belt.

  “Let me do it. Seriously, I could come in an instant.”

  I smiled, feeling so sexually powerful and in love. I don’t know if it was me or being married to the sexiest man on earth, but I’d learned quickly after our reconciliation that I liked sex. A lot. I’d liked it before, but there was something about being totally open to him. To surrendering my pleasure to him, and his to me, that that had my sexual drive revving. Or maybe it was hormones from the pregnancy. I discounted that because the baby was already here, and I still wanted Dylan any way I could have him.

  “How do you want me?” I asked.

  He growled. “I don’t know. My brain doesn’t work.” He shucked his pants down and ripped his shirt buttons as he wrangled with his clothes to get them off.

  “How about this way. We can both see the view out the window.” I turned toward the table with my back to him, pressing my backside toward him. I liked all the ways we made love, but one thing I really enjoyed was teasing him with ways he could have me. I liked exploring and trying new things. I had a copy of the Kama Sutra poses hidden in a drawer, and we regularly referred to it.

  “That way is fine. Good for fast and furious, because that’s what this will be.”

  I thought he’d take me right then, but instead, he dropped to his knees. “Lean over the table, baby, and spread your legs.”

  I lay forward and widened my stance.

  “You’re so wet.” His hands went to my panties.

  “They pull away,” I said over my shoulder. “Otherwise they get stuck on the garters.”

  “Fucking hell.” He inhaled deeply, which I imagined was to keep himself in control. He yanked on the panties and the sides gave way. I felt the cool air on my pussy making me ache.

  “Dylan,” I moaned. “Make me come.”

  He growled and pushed my thighs apart. His mouth and tongue dove in, sucking and thrusting and driving me mad. I gripped the table as he shot me up.

  “Yes, yes,” I ground my pussy against his mouth. “Oh God, I’m going to come.”

  He pinched my clit with his fingers as his tongue thrust inside me and entire body convulsed as my orgasm blasted through me.

  I wasn’t finished coming down from the pleasure yet when Dylan stood behind me, his dick at my entrance. “You’re so fucking perfect, Tessa.”

  I’d just had a hard orgasm, but I wanted more. I wanted him. “I need you in me, Dylan.”

  He thrust, filling me and making me gasp. He didn’t take his time. He was thrusting and plunging, his breath harsh as he sought his own release.

  “I can’t wait,” He ground out.

  “Don’t wait.” I loved it when he was desperate and a bit crazed. I loved it when he was gentle and slow. I loved it all. I loved him.

  “Ah, fuck …” He was pistoning in and out. I could feel every inch of him, growing and becoming more rigid with each stroke.

  My body responded, squeezing his dick as my own pleasure built again.

  He groaned, and stopped.

  I whimpered. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

  He withdrew and turned me around. “I want to see you come.” He lifted me on the table, pushing my legs open, he pressed his hips forward and was inside me again.

  His gaze was on mine as he began to move, this time not quite so furiously, but still in hard strokes that made me gasp each time he plunged in.

  “Come on my cock, Tessa. I want to see you come … feel you come …” His jaw was tight, and I could see it was taking every bit of willpower he had to hold back.

  I looked between us, watching as his dick slid in and out of my body. I held on to his shoulders, my gaze rising to the tattoo of Maisie and now Max on his chest. And just below it, Tessa. I lifted my head to his, catching his gaze.

  “I love you,” I said, wanting him to know.

  He captured my mouth with his lips, kissing me with same heat and fervor that he was loving me with his body.

  He tore his mouth away and groaned. “Together, baby. Come with me.”

  With our gazes holding, our bodies moved in the rhythm of love, in perfect sync. I reached the pinnacle and crested, crying out as my body gripped his like it never wanted to let go.

  He yelled out and plunged in, his essence filling my body, becoming a part of me.

  “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he chanted as he continued to thrust and pulse inside me. Finally, he held me to him, my head resting over his heart where my name was inscribed. I heard and felt his heart beat just for me.

  He lifted his head and gazed down on me. “You’re fucking awesome.”

  I laughed. “Because I wear garters?”

  “I was so taken I didn’t have a good chance to explore and enjoy those.”

  “Next time.”

  He grinned. “Give me a minute.” He kissed me, this time slowly, like he was savoring ever bit of my mouth. “You gave me something I thought I’d never have. You gave me you.”

  Emotion swept over me. “And you gave me you.”

  “And together, we made a family. I meant what I said in my vows. You gave me a family. You’ve made my dream come true.”

  I held him close, feeling so grateful to have this wonderful man. The love I’d seen for his daughter was one of the first things that had made me fall for him. Now, the thing I loved most was the love and total commitment he had for his family.

  !

  Book Four: Imperfect Love

  Description

  A broken marriage.

  A broken heart.

  A broken home.

  Brayden and I have everything going against us.

  There was a time when we were madly in love.

  Our laughter still echoes in my ears.

  They say marriage is built on trust.

  They said love is the foundation.

  I wonder if we have either of those now.

  And what’s worse?

  I’ve been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness.

  Divorce or death.

  I have no clue what comes first.

  But they both feel the same.

  Brayden still has my heart.

  And I have a feeling that he wants to keep it.

  Will he fight for us and give our love a second chance?

  Or is this the end of an era for our family?

  Prologue

  Terra

  I wondered when my marriage went off the rails. As I sat on the edge of my bed, I experienced a rare moment of quiet and solitude in my home. I searched my brain for the moment the fairy tale ended. I couldn’t pinpoint an exact time. The busyness of life must have simply worn away at us until all that was left was resentment.

  I should have known it wouldn’t last. I learned at eleven years old that life is a bitch and then you die. This lesson really sank in after I watched my mother battle cancer, only to lose in the end... She’d endured painful and debilitating treatment to save herself. She’d sacrificed any quality of life in the hopes that she’d live, but her fight was all for naught. She died anyway.

  I wondered, if she would have made a different choice. Had she known she was going to die, no matter what, would she have sacrificed some time to be able to enjoy life more fully until the cancer took her? Would she have taken me for mother-daughter tea like we did once a month before she was too sick to walk? Would she have piled all the pillows on her bed and turned out all the lights to watch movies with me like we often did until her sight left her?

  After she died, my father said we had to live life to the fullest, for her, and for the most part I had. But in my mind, I’d always been aware that love and happiness could be gone in an instant, and therefore seeking it, wishing for it, was dangerous.

  It wasn’t until I�
��d met Brayden that I let love and laughter into my life again. From the moment I met him, I was his. For the first time since my mother had died, I wondered if maybe some part of the fairy tales I read as a child were real. But now, years later, I saw that I was wrong.

  I sent the letter, from my lawyer, which I received today. I was in awe, in a bad way, of how quickly plans could change. I’d been considering walking away from the life we’d failed to build, but now that couldn’t happen.

  I heard the front door open and the sound of my children’s voices as they scurried into the house. Tears welled in my eyes. I closed them, and listened like it was the last time I’d hear them.

  “I want apples and peanut butter,” six-year old Lanie said.

  “No peanut butter,” four-year old Noah whined.

  A sad smile came to my lips. Noah didn’t like how thick and sticky peanut butter was.

  “Put your packs away and meet me back in the kitchen,” Brayden said. His voice was closer, which suggested he was making his way to our room.

  I sucked in a breath to prepare myself to see him.

  He stepped into the doorway and, for a moment, I remembered the man who’d stolen my heart ten years ago. As I looked at him objectively, I thought that he was more handsome now than when I’d met him. His six-foot three-inch frame carried a muscular physique which he maintained through regular exercise at the office gym. At least I thought he was still muscular. I didn’t see his body too often anymore. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d had sex. A few weeks ago, I caught him in the shower masturbating. There was a time I’d have found that a turn on and joined him, letting him jerk off into my mouth. But that time was gone. When I watched stroke himself, I felt hurt instead. Unlike him, my body wasn’t anywhere close to the size two I’d been when we met. I was sure he wasn’t thinking of me as he shot his load. It was probably his secretary.

  “You’re home.”

  “Yes, I finished earlier than I expected.”

  He stepped into the room and shut the door, a sure sign we were going to fight and he didn’t want the kids to hear. “You said you were busy and needed me to pick up the kids.”

  “I thought it would take longer.”

  He set his hands on his hips as he looked down on me. “I had to cancel an important meeting to get the kids, Terra. You could have picked them up.”

  Work. Perhaps he was banging his secretary, but his real mistress was work.

  “I didn’t know I’d be done so soon.” I stood, not liking the feeling I was being interrogated. I took off my jewelry as I didn’t usually wear it unless I was going out. Raising kids was messy work, so I didn’t dress nice or wear jewelry in my everyday life.

  “Now I’ll have to stay late. My wife gets annoyed when I work late.”

  I hated when he talked to me in third person. “Yes, heaven forbid she would want her husband home to have dinner with her and the kids.” I closed my jewelry box.

  “What’s this?”

  I looked at him through the reflection of the mirror over my dresser. He was holding the letter from the lawyer. For a moment, I had a feeling of panic, but then I figured there was nothing to hide. Maybe he’d be relieved.

  He frowned as he looked toward me. “You want a divorce?”

  I turned toward him, noting that he still looked pissed, but not upset or worried as I might have hoped his reaction would be to my consulting with a lawyer. Of course, divorce was out of the question now.

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “Then what’s this?” He waved the letter at me.

  “I thought about it—”

  “This looks like you’ve done more than think about it. You’ve retained a lawyer.”

  “I’m not going through with it.”

  He studied me. “So, you don’t love me anymore.”

  “I never said that.” That was the tragedy in all this. I still loved him. But we were too broken to fix. I wasn’t even sure he would want us to be fixed.

  He didn’t respond.

  “Are you relieved or annoyed that I’m not going to follow through,” I asked, genuinely curious.

  “I’m wondering what happened to you.”

  I laughed derisively. “Me? It’s not just me. It’s us, Brayden.”

  “I work my ass off to make you and kids happy, but you’re impossible to please.”

  He did work his ass off, but it wasn’t about me. That’s the excuse he told him himself to justify the long hours. No, he worked for him.

  “Well, perhaps you’ll get lucky and you won’t have to put up with me anymore,” I said.

  “So, you are leaving me?”

  I shrugged and, for a moment, I wondered if he’d be happier if the cancer that was growing in my breast killed me as it had my mother.

  1

  Brayden – Friday – Two Weeks Earlier

  I stood at the head of the boardroom table looking over the executives of Burrow Data Tech. In eight years, we had gone from a two-person operation to a full-scale global company. As we’d grown and expanded, other larger tech firms sought to buy the company, but we’d said no to the multi-million dollar offers and built our vision. The company now made the Fortune 500 list. We were a success. Too bad the motivational gurus didn’t mention the sacrifices that had to be made.

  I didn’t mind the long hours, but my wife Terra did. She’d been a part of launching the company, but she wasn’t at the table today as we reviewed current financial data. She’d made the choice to stay home when we had children. It was a decision I supported, but it seemed wrong that she wasn’t here to see our profits; another quarter of great growth.

  “You’re all an integral part of what makes Burrow Data Tech a success,” I said to the table of men and woman. “We’re larger now than we used to be, but I like to think we’ve been able to maintain a sense of closeness and camaraderie, not just between us, but with those that work to make the company a success.”

  Heads nodded at my statement.

  “Keep this up through the end of next quarter and you’ll see some nice holiday bonuses.”

  “I’ll be able to pay my kids' college,” Stan Gaynor said.

  “A semester, anyway,” Janis Tobin said jokingly.

  I’d started a college fund for each of my kids the moment I’d learned they were conceived. After I’d grown up with a single mom who struggled to put food on the table, when we had a table, and worked two jobs through college (still ending up with exorbitant student loans), I’d vowed that I would never be financially strapped again. Nor would my family feel the strains of worrying about whether they’d be able to sleep in a bed as opposed to a car or alley.

  Work had been my salvation. The business and the financial success of it was my reward. If only my wife, Terra, understood that. She wanted me to be home more and to spend some of the hard-earned money to enjoy life. Sure we had the money, but the economy and financial security were both fickle. I couldn’t sit back on my laurels and expect that the money would always be there.

  “I’m going to Vegas,” JT Long said. He was our newest VP of digital marketing. At only twenty-six, he reminded me of me when I was that age and living life to the fullest.

  I laughed. “Ah, to be young and single without a mortgage.”

  “Someone has to party,” he grinned.

  “Take pictures so we can live vicariously through you,” Stan said.

  I finished the meeting and then sent them off to their departments hoping they’d share the news of our continued growth and probable bonuses if the trend continued to the rest of the staff.

  I checked my watch as I headed back into my office. I decided I’d head home and have dinner with my family for once. Terra deserved to hear the good news.

  I powered off my laptop and pulled out my case.

  “Bray, you got a minute?”

  I looked up to see Kyle Doss, my right-hand man and confident.

  “A minute. I was thinking I might actually have dinner w
ith Terra and the kids.”

  “Oh, well this can wait until Monday.”

  I waved him into my office. “No, I’ve got a minute. What’s up?”

  “I wanted to show you the update on the new security system the cloud tech team has been working on. It’s better than expected. I think it could make this a billion-dollar tech firm.”

  “That’s the sort of news I’ll always take time to hear.”

  He set a stack of papers on the worktable in my office. “We have some prototype work I can show you if you like,” he said putting his laptop on the table too. “You’ll want to file for intellectual property protection.”

  Cha-ching, sounded in my ears.

  I sat next to Kyle and listened as he walked through the new system. Excited about the development, I asked him to show me the prototype on his computer.

  “Excellent work, Kyle. Tell the team that for me, would you?” I said when he finished.

  “Already have.”

  I stood up and grabbed my coat. “Do you have plans for this weekend?”

  “Trolling for love, as usual.” He grinned. Another single man who didn’t have a care in the world, except getting laid.

  I couldn’t remember the last time I got laid. My sexual release now came in the shower with the help of my hand.

  I walked with Kyle to the open area outside my office. My secretary, Johanna was gone for the day.

  I frowned and checked my watch. It was nearly seven. Fuck. I’d missed dinner. By the time I made it through Seattle traffic to my home, the kids would probably be in bed.

  Ah well. Today would be like most other days. I drove from my office east towards Madison Park on the shores of Lake Washington. By the time I was forty, my goal was to make it across the lake to live in Medina, where the likes of Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates lived. I wasn’t there yet, but at thirty-four, I had a few years left to work on it.

  The house was quiet as I entered. I went to the fridge to find a beer. A dinner plate covered in plastic wrap waited for me, as well. On it was a crayon written note from my six-year old daughter, Lanie. “I love you daddy,” it said. I sighed. At least someone loved me. I wasn’t so sure Terra did anymore.