Heart of Hope: Books 1-4

by Williams, Ajme

Turned out, camping in the living room was fun. We barely fit in the tent with all the pillows and toys, but being immersed in tight quarters with my family helped me feel more connected to them. I wasn’t the odd man out.

  “Thank you for this.” I leaned over and whispered in Terra’s ear.

  “No kissing,” Lanie demanded.

  I grinned. “Kissing? You want kissing?”

  “No!” the kids yelled, but I didn’t listen. I planted a big one on Terra and then grabbed the kids to kiss them too.

  We ordered pizza for dinner and ate it in front of the fire. We made s’mores and told kid-friendly ghost stories, like a real camp out. Eventually, I looked over and saw both kids crashed out.

  “They’re exhausted. Maybe they’ll sleep in tomorrow,” Terra said when she noticed them too.

  “You’re an optimist.” I rose and went over to pick up Lanie. Terra got Noah and we put them both to bed.

  With them tucked away, I could finally focus on Terra alone. When I finished putting Lanie to bed, and checking both shrimp, I found Terra sitting, staring into the fire.

  “You okay?” I asked.

  She turned and smiled at me. The light from the fireplace made her face glow. “Yes. I was just thinking about how quickly things can change. Bad and good.”

  “How about some wine and we focus on the good?”

  “Wine in front of the fire. How romantic. Are you hoping to get lucky?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

  I grinned. “I’m already lucky. But maybe I can get laid.”

  She laughed. “Chances are good.”

  I considered getting started right then and there, but forced my dick to wait. I got the bottle of wine and two glasses, and met her at the fireplace.

  “A good campout needs wine,” I said, uncorking the bottle and pouring her a glass.

  “Indeed.” She clicked her glass with mine. “I love you, Brayden.”

  There it was again. The three words I’d been starving to hear. “You don’t know how much I’ve wanted to hear you say that.”

  Her expression turned apologetic. “My father said you didn’t think I loved you. I’m sorry for that. I’ve never not loved you, Brayden. Ever.” Her palm rested on my cheek. “I know why you felt like that and I hate myself for being such a bitch. I’m sorry.”

  I kissed her palm. “As long as you love me, I’m good.”

  She reached over and grabbed her purse, pulling out the papers I’d given her at the zoo. “Are you sure about this?” She laid them out and got a pen.

  “I’ve never been more sure about anything, except marrying you. When the idea came to me, it was a giant duh, why hadn’t I thought of it sooner. And such a relief. So yes, I’m sure.”

  She bit her lip, looking apprehensive.

  I nodded toward the papers. “You’ll notice that I’ve already signed.” I signed them the minute I was happy with them. I was eager to get it done and get on with the business of loving my wife and family.

  She went to the page with the signature lines, and I guess realizing that yes, I was committed to this new plan, she signed the paperwork.

  She looked up at me, her gaze a little stunned. “What are we going to do now?”

  “Drink wine. Make love. Be happy.”

  She laughed. “Perfect.” She put the papers back in her purse and then crawled to me her eyes shining with seduction.

  I set my wine glass aside. “Maybe in a different order?”

  She nodded. “Make love first.”

  My dick shouted hallelujah. I started to reach for her but she shook her finger at me.

  “This is my seduction. You’re at my mercy.”

  I swallowed as pleasure and anticipation mixed in an erotic combination. “If you insist.”

  “Oh, I do.” She straddled my thighs and pulled my shirt from my pants. I helped her pull it over my head. “I hope the kids don’t wake up.”

  It was hard to process what she was saying as her hands and gaze took in my chest. “They don’t usually.”

  “My man is so strong.” She leaned in, flicking her tongue over my nipple.

  I hissed a breath. “And hard. Your man is so fucking hard.”

  “Let me see.” She undid my belt buckle and button. “Are you sure you’re not going to get bored being home all the time?”

  “Can’t imagine why I would. If we do, we can start a new project.”

  “That contract had a no-compete clause. You can’t start another business like it.”

  I shifted so she could pull my jeans down. “So, we’ll start a different one. Maybe we can become one of those lifestyle influencers. You know…blog or vlog…whatever.”

  She ran her hands down over my abs, making my dick jump in anticipation.

  “Will we chronicle this?” Her fingers wrapped around my dick and all I could think was thank fuck because he was dying for attention.

  “What would you say?” I managed as her hand stroked slowly.

  “He’s long. Thick. Velvety soft.” She leaned over and sucked him deep to the back of her throat.

  “Oh fuck!” I shouted at the unexpected move and had to lay back as my hips started to move on their own. Did I think she’d put her mouth on him? Yes. Did I think she’d deep throat me at the outset? No. And it fucking blew my mind.

  “Um…you said a bad word,” she said as she used her hand to stroke him again.

  “Better get used to it because that’s what you do to me.”

  She smiled like my words pleased her. “Do you have a fantasy?”

  “You’re my fantasy.”

  She licked my cock tip like an ice cream cone. My hips bucked at the sensation. She was going to slowly drive me mad into ecstasy.

  “Is there something you want me to do or us to do that would make you happy?”

  “I’d like you to be naked and riding me.”

  She let go of my dick and began to undress. As she undid her bra, her breasts fell free. I reached out, brushing my thumb over a nipple trying not to think about what was coming for them.

  She took my hands and pressed them over her breasts. “They’ll be gone next week.”

  I wanted to pull my hands away. I didn’t want her to think they defined her or our love life. Seeing them turned me on and I liked touching and sucking them because I knew it turned her on. But they weren’t the key to my attraction to her. I wasn’t sure what to say, but fortunately, I didn’t have to say anything.

  “Touch them, Brayden. Suck them. Love them. Do everything you ever wanted to do to them.”

  I looked up into her beautiful green eyes, seeing so much courage and strength in them. “What do you want me to do to them? What would be the best send off for you?”

  “For you to enjoy them.”

  I nodded. I could give her that. “Just so you’re clear, losing them won’t change how I feel about you. Or my attraction to you.”

  She nodded. “I know.”

  I looked into her eyes to make sure she really believed me. When I thought she did, I sat up, and pulled her to me so I could suck one nipple into my mouth.

  She sighed and held my head against her. “I could get bigger ones if you wanted.”

  I stopped mid-suck and looked up at her. “I don’t need bigger ones.”

  “I’m just saying…men usually like big tits.”

  “No, they don’t.”

  She quirked a brow in disbelief.

  “They like something to hold on to and suck, but there’s a limit. Bigger isn’t always better when it comes to tits.”

  “So, you wouldn’t like porn start tits?”

  “No. I could get suffocated by one of those.”

  She laughed and pulled me close. “I love you so much. You always say the right thing.”

  “It’s the truth. I want you to have whatever makes you happy. When you’re happy. I’m happy. When you feel sexy or pretty, I see it.” I gently massaged the two globes that would be gone next week. I frowned as a thought came to me. “Wo
uld you wish I had a bigger dick?”

  “No. There is such a thing as too big there too. Yes, a woman wants to feel full with her man inside her, but too big would be uncomfortable.”

  “You’ve thought about this?” I asked, loving how her pussy rocked against my cock as I tweaked her nipples.

  “The first time I saw your dick I had a moment of concern. Turns out, you’re a perfect fit.”

  I grinned. “Good to know.”

  She lifted herself up and settled over my dick, taking him in.

  “Fuck that’s so good.” I closed my eyes to focus on the sensation of her wet, hot pussy around my cock. In an instant, relief, gratitude and love swelled into a swirl of emotion that stole my breath. With her body around mine, I felt like I was finally home. Finally one with her again. I held her still, wanting to drown in the feeling. From now on, this was how it would be for us. I would do everything in my power to make it so. From now on, our lives would be two hearts and souls entwined as one.

  26

  Terra

  I was still wracked with guilt at how unfair I’d been to Brayden. Yes, he could have done better to be home instead of working, but instead of thinking we were doomed like I had, he’d tried to do something about it, even if his execution was bad. While the road to hell might be paved with good intentions, at least he had them.

  Me? I’d called a lawyer and ran to my father. I’d kept waiting for him to show me he loved me by being home, totally missing all the ways he was showing me he loved me through the texts and messages, or by selling the business.

  I was still floored by his decision to sell the business. I felt like I needed to do more to prove to him that I was one-hundred percent invested in our marriage. Right now, it was to show him through our bodies.

  I straddled his thighs, his dick seeped deep inside me, pulsing with life. I had a moment to feel sad that we might not be able to create another child. It was an odd feeling since I’d thought we were done long before our marital problems or my cancer. I suppose it was the fact that the option could be gone that had me feeling this way.

  “I love you, Terra. Tell me you know that I do.” His voice was husky against my neck as he held me still over him.

  “I know you do. I’ve always known.” I slid my arms to his face, cradling his cheeks and turning him to look at me.

  He had the most amazing blue eyes, and in them I saw all the love he was confessing to me. I hoped he saw the same love shining back at him in mine.

  “We’re one,” I said, holding his gaze.

  He nodded, and a new lightness came over me. With him inside me physically, with me emotionally, I felt my heart, my soul, begin to fuse back together. In the coming weeks and months, my treatment would be hard. It was possible it wouldn’t work. But I’d have this moment with him. I wanted to take in everything; his scent, the beat of his heart against mine, the feel of his breath on my cheek, the pulsing of him inside me. This, along with the memories of a perfect day with my children, would be the things I held on to. When I needed strength or soothing, I’d think back to moments with Brayden and the kids.

  “I wish we could stay like this forever,” he whispered.

  “We will. In my mind. This will be my go-to place when things get hard.”

  His breath hitched with emotion. “Terra.”

  “You know it now, so if I need help to be strong, you can remind me. Remind me of how perfect we fit. How much love flows between us.”

  He nodded and bit his lip. It was then that I noted his eyes had welled with tears. I kissed one and then the other.

  “For now, we live and love.” I rocked my hips, forcing him to groan. I hoped it would pull him out of thinking about what was to come and instead be in the here and now. “Come in me. Fill me with your life.”

  He rolled me over, thrusting in deep again. He supported his weight on his forearms as he cradled my face.

  His gaze held mine as he withdrew and slid in. Controlled. Building to a slow, delicious burn.

  I arched, wanting to take him in deeper. Wanting to pull him into my soul.

  “Where are you?” he whispered. “Tell me everything.”

  “I’m here. Close.”

  He thrust in and I gasped.

  “Yes…more…You feel so good, Brayden.”

  “What do you need?” His pace hastened only slightly. It was wonderful and frustrating at the same time as I hovered near the edge of release.

  “You.”

  “I’m here, baby.” He shifted and hooked a hand under my knee, lifting it. I opened more and he sank deeper.

  “Yes, oh yes…” I gripped his biceps as he ratcheted up the tension coiling tight in my pussy.

  “Do you feel me? Do you feel me inside you Terra?”

  “Yes…so good…” My breath quickened.

  “I feel you.”

  “Yes.”

  “I feel every muscle fucking my cock…God I need to come.”

  “Yes, come in me…” I was delirious from sensation and his words and all of him.

  “Come with me…” He growled. “Together.”

  I tilted my pelvis, rocking to meet his thrust, moving with him in a perfect dance. My pussy spasmed, quaking as I teetered on the edge.

  “Yes, now, now, now…” I chanted.

  He drove in, grinding his hips against me, hitting that one delicious spot inside me and rubbing my clit all the same time. My body went taut as a blast of intense, white hot, pleasure detonated.

  “Yes, baby yes,” he shouted as he levered up on his hands and gave free rein to his own release. He plunged in again and again and again, drawing out my own release until I was a whimpering mass.

  “Ah fuck,” he gasped as he collapsed on me. “Jesus…fuck…” His breath was harsh against my neck. Even as he lay there, his hips lifted and sank into me again, sending additional shimmers of pleasure through me.

  I gripped him and buried my face in his chest as emotion swept through me. Love, guilt, fear.

  “Oh god, did I hurt you?” He moved to get off of me, but I held him tighter.

  “No.” I shook my head not realizing until then that I was crying. “No. I’m not hurt. Don’t move. Please. Just hold me.”

  He gathered me close and kissed my temple. “What’s wrong baby?”

  “Nothing. Everything is perfect.”

  I didn’t know how long we lay like that. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that we were together.

  Eventually, he rolled off and grabbed one of the blankets we’d gotten for the campout with the kids. He covered us both and then lay on his side, looking down on me.

  He brushed my hair from my cheek. “Tell me you’re okay.”

  I took his hand in mine. “I’m scared, Brayden.”

  “Should we have not done that?”

  “We should have. We should do it more. As much as possible. I just meant…I’m afraid I won’t survive.”

  He dropped his forehead against mine. “I’m fucking terrified. The worst feeling in the world is not being able to make this go away. We’re about to be rich beyond our wildest dreams, and yet all that money can’t—” His voice cracked.

  I knew what he was saying. Money didn’t always beat cancer. I knew it first hand because my father spared no expense to cure my mother, and she’d still died. Emma and Derek spent a fortune on alternative and traditional treatments, and he’d died.

  “I wish it was me,” he whispered.

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “It would be better for the kids and your dad if it was.”

  “I don’t worry about them.” Not anymore anyway. It was unfair and unreasonable to think Brayden wouldn’t take good care of the kids if I died.

  “They need you. I need you, baby. Promise me you’ll fight. Promise me you won’t give up.” His voice was filled with such anguish.

  I nodded. I’d once considered not fighting if it was a doomed endeavor. But now I knew that any chance, no matter how slight that t
reatment would work, I had to take it. If I died, I’d be gone forever, so any time with my family, even if I was too sick to enjoy it, was time I wouldn’t otherwise have. My mother couldn’t do much but lay helpless in bed at the end. But I do remember her smiling when I’d talk to her. She knew I was there. She had moments with me that she wouldn’t have had if she’d given up.

  Brayden and I lay entwined in front of the fire until it began to die down.

  “We should probably get to bed,” Brayden said rubbing his hand up and down my arm. “If we fall asleep, the kids might find us naked in their campsite. I’m not sure I want to try and explain that to them.”

  I laughed. “No birds and bees talk yet, huh?”

  “Never if I can help it.”

  “You don’t like sex?”

  He pressed his dick against me. “I love it with you. But our kids are never going to grow up and date. It’s never gonna happen.”

  I laughed. “We should probably start researching monasteries and nunneries then.”

  “You think I’m joking.” He grinned as he helped me up. He draped the blanket around me and handed me my clothes.

  “No. But I’m not sure our grown kids will appreciate your hiding them away.”

  “They won’t miss what they don’t know.”

  He slipped on his jeans, and gathered up the rest of his clothes.

  I shook my head. “I don’t think not ever being with another person means you don’t have sexual feelings.”

  He rolled his eyes at me.

  “You never just woke up one morning with a hardon?” I asked, enjoying teasing him.

  He gave me a wolfish grin. “Every damn day, but only since I’ve met you.”

  “I know you had orgasms before me. How old were you when you first masturbated?”

  He stopped. “Are we really going to have this conversation?”

  I nodded. “I want to know.”

  He leaned forward. “I was an early bloomer.”

  My libido heated up. “Oh?”

  “All that early stroking paid off. That’s why my dick is so big.”

  I laughed. “I don’t think it works like that.”

  “The more a muscle is worked, the bigger and harder it gets.”

  “Dicks aren’t a muscle.” Were they?