I wrap my arm around her back and wade us out a little deeper, holding her above the waterline so her hair doesn’t get wet, and stop when the water is up to my shoulders. “Now that you’ve got me out here, what exactly do you plan on doing with me?”
She leans in, her breath hot over my lips as she answers, “See how much we can get you to grow in this cool water.” Then she presses her lips to mine and kisses me hard, showing me even more of that wild side I love so much.
Allie
“This date couldn’t be any more perfect,” I whisper, reaching for Chase’s hand. I’m settled between his jean-clad legs, leaning back against his bare chest, wearing nothing but my panties and his T-shirt while we watch the sun slowly start to set in the distance.
“No, it really couldn’t,” he replies, extending his fingers so I can trace the lines of his palm with mine.
“Ava asked me something today, while you were getting ready,” he says into my hair.
“What’s that?”
“She asked if I would stay home from the next rodeo.”
I tilt my head back on his shoulder so I can get a look at him, and feel the stubble from his five o’clock shadow scrap against my temple as I do. “What did you say?”
“I told her I would…”
I nod my head, letting each thing he just said settle. The fact that Ava asked him to stay is concerning, all on its own. As we discussed earlier, our little girl is the most supportive, rodeo-obsessed kid on the planet, and there’s no way she would ever ask him to risk his standings. Not unless she’s scared and her fall has her fearing for him now, too.
“What you said earlier, then her asking me to stay…” he sighs, then flattens my hand against his so he can close his fingers around mine. “Before I go anywhere, I need to make sure she’s okay. I need to make sure she knows she doesn’t have to ride another day in her life, if she doesn’t want to. But if she does, and she’s just afraid now, I’m going to get her back up on a horse before I leave you three here alone again.”
I’m still watching him, even though his eyes are glued to the lake. There’s a hard set to his jawline right now, almost as if he’s clenching his teeth. I reach up and slide my hand along his stubbled jaw and rub. Easing his eyes back down to me. “She’ll be okay, we’ll make sure of it together. So put it out of your mind for now. Let’s enjoy what time we have left out here tonight, and then tomorrow, we tackle Ava. We will work it all out together.”
“Together,” he repeats, smiling down at me. “I like the sound of that.” He brings our linked hands up to his mouth and kisses the back of mine. It’s one of those simple things that makes my heart skip a beat and brings a smile to my face without fail.
“Are you really okay with missing the next rodeo?”
“She needs me here more than I need the check. It’s smaller, anyway. It’ll be fine. Plus, it’ll give Cody a better chance of winning. Poor guy needs it more than I do this weekend.” He smirks, then winks at me and reaches for our basket of food.
“Good Lord. Are you two still at that?” I laugh and shake my head.
“We’ve been competing for what, seven years now, if you want to go back that far. Of course we’re still at it. And I’m in the lead, thanks to my progress this season.”
“You two set such a fantastic example for the kids,” I tease him. “Does Ava know all about this competition between you two?”
He reaches for the bottle of wine and the little cups he packed, ignoring my question and asking instead, “Are you thirsty? Or hungry? I made your favorite sandwich.”
“She knows,” I muse, shaking my head. “I’d love some wine and your home-cooked meal.”
“Coming right up.” He pours the wine into the cups, hands me mine, and then offers me a bite of my sandwich.
“Don’t turn her against Cody, rooting for him to fail so you can beat him,” I advise. I know our daughter, and current situation aside, she’d root for her dad to win at all costs, no matter what.
“Would I do that?”
“Yes,” I say on a laugh. “You would, just to get under his skin. You know he loves the girls, and turning Ava against him, even for fun, would be amusing to you.”
He adjusts and drags his hand up to his chest, gasping exaggeratedly, “You wound me.”
“I do not. Drink your wine, Cowboy. And don’t turn Ava against your best friend. Otherwise, he’ll try to kick your ass. And… I think he could possibly take you.”
His jaw drops, and I wink. There’s no way Cody could take Chase, but to put his overinflated ego in check, I figured I’d add that just to drop him down a notch or two.
“Take it back, Darlin’. Take it back right now.”
I shake my head and take a drink of my wine.
“You really think Cody could take me? I mean, yeah, he’s put on some more muscle lately, but not that much. I’d still kick his ass.”
“I don’t know. He’s feisty.”
“Feisty? What the hell does that mean?”
“It means he’d find a way to win. He’s resourceful.”
“So you mean throw dirt in my face, wait until I’m blind, then take me out. Feisty?”
Wine launches out of my mouth and nose when I crack up hysterically, and I strangle a bit, which forces me to cough up a lung. But it’s worth it. Absolutely worth it to get this reaction.
“He wouldn’t cheat, Chase. My God, you’re dramatic. I see where Aubrey gets it from now.”
“You really think he’d beat me?” He looks like a wounded, sad puppy, pouting like someone just took his most favorite bone.
I can’t help it or fight off my smile any longer. He needs to be put out of his misery. “No, Chase, I don’t think he’d beat you. You could and would still kick his ass.”
“Then why’d you…are you just yanking my leg right now so I quit pouting?”
“Good Lord!” I set my cup down and carefully move to my knees and turn to face him. “No, I’m not pulling your leg now. Yes, I was when I said he’d beat you. You needed your ego put in check, especially after our race out here. Cody wouldn’t beat you. Just like he’s never beat you before.”
“Just so we’re clear,” he says, cocky tone and features back in place, “we are talking about in the standings and if we were to fight. Right?”
“I’m not sure how Thor will get you home with your head that big and heavy… I’m talking about fighting. Cody is a damn good rider. He could very well beat you, if you don’t drop the ego a little.”
“No way,” he says, reaching for my hips and pulling me into his chest. “He’ll never beat me. At the end of the day, I’ll always be the best. The biggest winner. You know why that is?”
“Do tell.”
“Because at the end of every day I’ll go home knowing that with you and the girls, I’ve already won life. Nothing and no one in this world will ever top that.”
“Smooth. Very smooth.” I wrap my arms around his neck. “I love you, Chase.”
“I love you too, Allie. Always have, always will.”
I lean in and kiss him, reinforcing my words with my actions, then pull back a little. “Let’s finish up here so we can get back to our girls. I’d like to have a fire, s’mores, and fun night before they go to bed.”
“That sounds like the perfect end to this date night.” He reaches back for my jeans and my tank top. “You may want to put these on before we finish up, too.”
I nod and stand in front of him, slipping my jeans on and his shirt off, then sit back down, pulling my tank into place. We still have to finish our main course before we can go back and have dessert with our girls.
Chase
I don’t remember the last time I missed a rodeo. Not for something other than injury and a doctor advising me it would be in my best interest to take the weekend off, so I didn’t permanently damage whatever I had hurt. Yet here I am, sitting at home in our big recliner, with my daughter on my lap, watching my best friend on a shitty internet f
eed while he rides his last ride.
It’s fucking torture.
Correction, missing the weekend is torture. Missing the adrenaline, the pull of the arena, the thrill of riding for eight, even the smells, dust, and roar of the crowd—it’s all painful.
But the reason I missed is greater torture. Knowing my daughter is afraid enough to ask me to miss, and I can’t make her fear go away with the snap of my fingers, is torture. However, being here with my little girl when she needs me is a pretty good balance to missing out on my other love, my living, and my job. I’m just glad I was in a position in the standings to be able to be home this weekend. Getting to watch with Ava, see her reactions, hear the hesitation in her voice when I asked her to come watch with me—before we go for an easy ride tonight—was important. Very important.
I’m genuinely happy for my best friend. He deserved the win this weekend. He rode his ass off. At least, it appears he did. This is the first time the video feed has worked, so I’ve had to rely on texts from other riders and some commentary on social media.
“You ready to head out for a ride, Pipsqueak?” I ask Ava, shutting the laptop.
“We don’t have to.” She looks down at her hands and starts picking at the pink nail polish on them.
“I think we do, though.” I put my hand over the top of hers, stilling her fingers, and waiting for her to look up at me. “I have a very, very important question to ask you. And I want you to be honest. Because no matter what your answer is, I won’t be mad, and I will love you more than the universe.”
She looks up with worry in her eyes and her lips pressed together in a tight line, then nods her head.
“Do you want to ride in the rodeo still? Or do you want to try something else?” I give her hands a gentle squeeze and smile at her. “Be honest. Anything you say is okay. There isn’t a wrong answer.”
All she does is nod her head, not giving me anymore than that.
“I need you to talk to me. Because Mommy and I are worried about you.”
“I still want to ride,” she says quietly, her voice shaky and unsure.
“You don’t have to ride ever again, if you don’t really want to, Ava. I won’t be upset.”
“You won’t?” she asks, surprised.
“No, I won’t. I only want you to ride if it makes you happy. I never, ever want you to ride because you think that’s what I expect.”
She looks forward again, hiding her eyes from me.
“I thought you loved riding, otherwise, I would have put you into dance or piano lessons.”
She scrunches her nose up and shakes her head. “Ewww. I don’t want to dance. Or piano.”
“No? You don’t?” I tickle her a little bit, drawing out a laugh. And a smile. They’re really great to see on her. “When did you stop liking riding?”
She stops laughing and smiling almost immediately when I ask, and then she clams up, shaking her head no.
“You can tell me anything. So will you tell me that? Please?”
She goes back to picking at her fingers and takes long enough to answer me that I’m about to give up, when she finally says, “When I fell.”
And there it is. That’s what I needed to know for sure.
“It scared you.” It’s not a question. The first fall—the first injury causing fall—is fucking terrifying. I still remember mine, too. I was a little older than her when I had my first trip to the hospital from a ride gone wrong. It took me a while to get back up once I was out of my cast.
“I don’t want to get hurt again,” she admits.
“I don’t want you to get hurt again either. And I was scared, too. Did you know that?”
She looks at me with wide, surprised eyes.
“I didn’t know what happened, and when your mom called me, it scared me to death. Can I tell you a secret?”
She nods her head.
“I’m afraid to let you get back on Lightning.”
“You are?” she asks, repositioning herself on my lap.
“I am. But do you want to know something else?”
“Yes.”
“I think we both need you to ride again. Lightning won’t hurt you, and we both need to prove it again.”
“What if I fall again?” She has never sounded more worried in her life, and I want so badly to take that fear for her. But I can’t. Not until she agrees to ride again.
“You might. But it doesn’t mean you’ll get hurt like last time. How often do you see me fall off the bulls?”
“A lot.” She says it so matter-of-factly that I can’t help but laugh.
“Yeah, a lot.” I press a kiss to her temple where the bruise has faded and the knot has all but disappeared from. “But I don’t always get hurt. And you won’t either. You won’t fall as much as me, either. As long as you follow the rules, especially until you get better.”
She looks down to her lap now, not answering. Which tells me the other thing I’ve needed to know since her fall happened.
“Kip told you to hold still until he came back, didn’t he, Ava?”
“Yes,” it comes out as barely a whisper. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen, Daddy.”
I let out a sigh and kiss her head again. “You’re not in trouble, this time. You paid the price with your head, right? But I need you to apologize to Kip tomorrow. He felt really bad for letting you fall. Even though it wasn’t his fault.”
“I will,” she agrees easily.
“That’s my girl.” I rub her back then help her slide off the chair. “Do you trust me?”
“Of course, I do, Daddy.” She crosses her arms over her chest, watching me intently as I lean forward and brace my forearms on my legs. “We’re going to go out and saddle Lightning, and get you up for a ride. And I promise you I will stay right there. I’ll even lead him for a while, if you want. Okay?”
She doesn’t look sold, at all. But she’s my daughter, and Allie’s, and she won’t back down from a challenge if she can help it. She’s stubborn like that. And I’m going to push her a little. I stand up and stretch out, sitting for a while does leave me sore, not that I’m going to say it to her tonight.
“I’m going to go out and get started, Lightning will be really sad if you don’t come out, too. But if you can’t do it, I’ll lead him around the pen for a while to get a workout in.”
I walk out of the house and to the barn, getting started on saddling Lightning, waiting for Ava to join us. It takes her about ten minutes, but she comes out in a pair of jeans with her boots on, and her hat in hand.
“You all set?”
She nods and approaches Lightning slowly. She hasn’t come out to see him since she fell, and I know right now she’s got a lot of things going through her mind.
“Just give him a little loving and a few bites of apple. Show him you aren’t afraid. He’s still your same horse, he just needs to trust you’re the same adorable little girl who always rides him.”
Ava grabs some apple slices from the fridge in the office then comes back out to us, holding her hand out, waiting for Lightning to take them. He does, munching them out of her hand like it’s the best treat he’s ever been given, and then he nudges her hand with his nose and leans into her touch.
I step back quietly and lean against the stall door, watching them, giving her a little bit to feel comfortable around him again, and smile when she speaks up.
“Hi, Lightning. I’m sorry I haven’t come out to ride you. Will you forgive me?”
I move around to grab the halter, so I can lead them around, and Ava sees me. She keeps rubbing Lightning’s head and moves around to the side. “Can I use the bridle?”
“You want to ride him alone, no lead?” I’m not surprised, but I don’t want her to feel pressured, either.
“No lead. But will you and Thor ride with us?”
That’s my brave, brave girl. The amount of pride I have in her right now, watching her tackle this head on—get back up on her horse by herself—my heart feels ten sizes
bigger in my chest right now.
“You bet. Let’s finish getting Lightning ready, then I’ll lead Thor out and we can ride together.”
She walks over and grabs the bridle from me, taking it over to Lightning, and starts explaining to him what she’s going to do. I help get it over him and secured in place, then tell her to lead him outside.
As they start to walk away, I make my way over to Thor and saddle him, getting done as quickly as I can so Ava doesn’t have to wait, and then we set out for the pen.
Allie
I’m not sure what I expected to see pulling in after dropping Aubrey off at a birthday party, but I am sure it wasn’t the scene I’m watching now. I put the car into park and sit, still buckled, frozen in place, staring out the windshield toward the pen. Chase and Ava are out there with Thor and Lightning, and it looks like they’re about to mount and ride.
Chase squats down to Ava’s level, grinning wide, and says something to her. She gives him a nod, and the second he puts his hand up to give her a high five, she claps hers against his. But they don’t part right away like usual. Instead, she keeps her hands there and I can see him talking again, then her tiny fingers slip between his, and their hands clasp together.
Never in my life has our ritual brought tears to my eyes, but when I see the smile stretch over our daughter’s face as they let go, right before Chase lifts her into her saddle, I start to cry. I knew he wanted to talk to her. I know she’s afraid. After a fall like she had, it’s normal.
But watching him teach her our ritual—the one we’ve always done so he stays safe during rides—so she would feel safe getting back up, melts my heart. Seeing him teach her something that is so special and private, a secret for our family to hold onto together for life, it hits me in a way I couldn’t have ever imagined. Once she’s perched on Lightning with the reins in her hands, Chase gets on Thor, and they start a slow walk around the pen.
Hold on Tight (Cowboys & Angels Book 1) Page 10