Merely Alive

by Lalae Mozie

  It wasn’t long before I noticed the terrible wounds on Greg’s arms and back. I also noticed a huge bruise on his leg.

  “Greg, what happened?” I asked, horrified.

  “Oh, it’s nothing really,” he answered.

  Rose looked at her brother. “Was it the dogs?” she asked.

  “Yes. They went after Achena, so I threw my arm out in front of them, and they backed away. Then I turned my back on them, and they clawed me with their sharp nails. I kicked them, but they’re very solidly built.”

  “I knew I should have gone with you to the gate,” Rose muttered under her breath.

  “How did you get out without the guards seeing you?” I asked.

  “Oh, well, they did see me, but they were drunk. By the time they realized that I was trying to escape, I was already past the German Shepherds.”

  As we continued on down the road, I could vaguely make out a little town with what looked like a train station right on the edge. I jumped up and down and woke Achena up. Not surprisingly, she started crying. Rose took her out of my arms and sang a lullaby to her, which seemed to calm her for a while.

  Entering the big, wooden doors of the train station, we all gasped. The building was beautiful. It had stained-glass windows and wooden floors with white and blue tiles inlaid between the boards. The roof was shaped like a dome, and hanging from the dome was a huge, bright chandelier.

  Housed inside this grand space were many people and many trains. We walked over to the information desk, and while Greg went to ask about a train to Copenhagen or one that would get us close, Rose and I looked at the train schedule. There were two trains leaving to Hungary and one going to France, but there didn’t seem to be any heading to Copenhagen.

  Greg came back and told us there were no trains leaving for Copenhagen that day, but one was leaving the next day at 1:00 a.m.

  “That’s too late!” I exclaimed.

  “Well, he did say there was one boarding now, but it was too late to buy tickets,” Greg said.

  “Buy tickets? We don’t have any money! We’re going to get on that train right now!” I said.

  “Without paying?” asked Rose.

  “Without paying! We have a sick baby that needs care!” I said.

  “She’s sick?” asked Greg, worried.

  “Yes, she is terribly sick!” I answered. “Terribly.”

  “How do you know?” Rose asked. There was a hint of doubt in her voice.

  “She’s as hot as fire but is trembling as if she saw a ghost.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  “We have to hurry,” I said nervously as the train blew its horn. I quickly gave Achena to Rose and ran over to the ticket office. I asked him which platform number had the train to Copenhagen. He just looked up and blew smoke into my face.

  “That was rude!” I yelled. “Tell me what the platform number is—now!”

  “Okay, Little Miss, it’s platform three,” he said very quietly.

  “Thank you!” I yelled as I ran back to Rose and Greg.

  “The platform number is three. Let’s go!” I said as I led them to the train. We were running very fast, so Achena started crying and kicking. Since Rose was holding Achena, she fell behind. Greg and I stopped running. Greg ran back and pulled the crying baby out of Rose’s hands, and they both started running toward me. There were not many people in this part of the train station, and no one seemed to notice that we had just escaped from Auschwitz.

  We reached platform three and slowed down. I looked back; Rose and Greg were right behind me. Greg shouted for me to turn around. I spun around and saw that the train was leaving. We started to run with the train, but it was accelerating quickly. I spotted an open door and sprinted toward it.

  I jumped on the train, and Greg threw Achena to me. I caught her. Rose and Greg were still on the ground, running with the train. Greg grabbed Rose’s hand and helped her onto the moving train. I pulled Rose up, and then I reached for Greg. But he was gone.

  My mouth hung open, and my arms were still stretched out, ready to help Greg on. My eyes were locked on the fading train station. I was shocked. Greg had helped Rose on the train, knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to get on.

  Rose pulled me away from the open door, and we sat down on the floor. There weren’t any chairs since it was a cargo train. The train smelled like dirty, old socks. Achena finally went to sleep, and Rose fell asleep with her. I was stuck alone, thinking about what Greg had done for us. I felt surprised but most of all guilty; all of this was my fault. I felt like I had left a part of myself behind with Greg, one that I would never be able to get back. I cried myself to sleep.

  I woke to the sound of a voice announcing that we would be arriving in Copenhagen in five minutes. I shook Rose, and all she did was grumble. I shook her again, and she slapped my arm and moaned. I shook her one last time so hard that she screamed.

  “It’s okay!” I said.

  “Maya! You can’t do that to me after all we’ve been through!” she said angrily.

  “Sorry, I should have just told you to wake up,” I said quietly. “But you woke Achena up, and that’s the last thing I wanted!” I carefully took Achena out of Rose’s arms. As soon as I took her, she stopped crying and closed her eyes. A few seconds later, I heard deep, soft breathing and felt her heartbeat. But there was something wrong. “ R o s e , her heartbeat … it’s not the way it’s supposed to be,” I said.

  “How so?” she asked.

  “It keeps skipping a beat,” I wearily explained.

  “We have to find help,” said Rose.

  “I know,” I whispered.

  There was a slight pause before Rose and I tried making conversation again.

  “She must feel safe in your arms,” Rose said. “Maybe you remind Achena of her mother or a relative.”

  “I don’t think so,” I answered. Although I knew Rose was right, I didn’t want to say so because I wasn’t ready yet to have the title of Achena’s mother. I had seen her mother right before she died in that horrid place. She had dark brown, wavy hair and hazel eyes—just like me, except I didn’t have so many waves in my hair.

  The door opened, and we stepped off the train into a station that was fairly familiar. As I walked toward the exit, the station triggered memories from the past .

  I was with my grandmother before she died; we were in Germany at the time. We would always play a game whenever it was time for me to go back to Denmark. We would go to the train station and hop on any old train and then just see where it took us. We would play cards on the train. My favorite card game was War. Most of the time, I would win, but Grandmother was pretty good. Somehow we would always end up in Copenhagen. I always knew she would get on the right train.

  As we walked to the middle of the station, I stopped to look up at the ceiling. I remembered looking up and seeing the pigeons in their nests with Grandmother.

  Rose was way ahead of me. I ran up to her and said that we needed to get a ride home.

  “How can we if we have no money?” she asked.

  I didn’t answer. Walking toward a bench, I guessed that Rose and I were thinking about the same thing: Greg. We sat down and stared into the crowded streets of home.

  CHAPTER TEN

  An hour passed, and Rose and I still were sitting on the bench. Achena was in my arms. It was late, about ten at night, and my eyelids started to get heavy. The streets slowly became deserted and quiet. The only people left were the Nazis, as usual. One Nazi started to walk up to us, and I became very cautious. Thoughts started gathering in my head like a bad storm. Was the Nazi going to recognize the clothing we were wearing? Would we be executed if the Nazi busted us?

  By now, the Nazi was only a few feet away from us. Rose had fallen asleep, and her head was on my shoulder. The Nazi looked me up and
down and then did the same to Rose. He grunted, and in the most horrible Danish I ever heard in my life, he said, “It’s late. You should go home to your parents.”

  Until then, I had forgotten about my parents because I was so worked up about Greg. I shook Rose, and she woke up.

  “Rose, we have to find a place to sleep,” I said urgently. She looked at me and smiled. She said she had arranged for us to go to a friend’s house just around the corner from the train station.

  My mouth fell open. “How did you … I mean … you what?” was all I could manage, being so shocked. Rose said that while I was admiring the train station, lost in memories when we first arrived, she had gone to the pay phone, grabbed some change she found lying on the ground, and called her friend Koby.

  I hugged her tightly until Achena started to cry. I asked Rose what we were going to do with her. Rose looked puzzled, and I was confused myself. While we were thinking, the same Nazi approached us, this time with two more Nazis beside him. He stopped at our feet and asked sternly if we would like to be escorted to our house. Rose was silent, leaving it up to me as always. I carefully told them we were just leaving. He grunted, and they walked away. Fortunately, we had Achena, or else the Nazis would’ve taken us away. Having Achena in our arms made people believe we were older than we actually were, and therefore they left us alone.

  We hurried toward Koby’s house. We arrived there after five long minutes of silence. I was so tired I felt like I was going to pass out. I was grateful that Rose had Achena duty. We arrived at a small house surrounded by trees. We stood at the brown, wooden door, and before Rose could ring the doorbell, a man opened the door.

  “Rosie! It’s so nice to see you, sugar!” he exclaimed. “Look how much you’ve grown!”

  Koby had dark hair and green eyes. He was tall and muscular. He must have been about twenty-three. I knew by the sight of him I would be safe—at least for a little while.

  “Oh, who is th—” Before he could finish his sentence, I fell to the ground. Luckily, Koby was there to catch me.

  I must’ve been out cold since I woke up in a pink bedroom with floral print wallpaper. I looked to my right, and the clock read 10:00 a.m. I pulled the sheets off of me and got out of bed. I could hear noises downstairs. My feet ached, and my stomach grumbled. I realized I had not eaten in about four days! I walked over to the mirror and gasped in horror. I looked awful. I guess a day and a night in Auschwitz could be horrifying.

  I headed downstairs and entered a small room that looked like a kitchen. Rose was sitting drinking some hot water, and Koby was cooking something that smelled delicious!

  “What’s cooking?” I asked.

  “Eggs. Would you like some?” answered Koby.

  “I’m starving! Thanks.”

  I sat down next to Rose and ate my eggs. Rose looked like she hadn’t slept in days. I couldn’t blame her, as she had Achena duty last night. Koby sat down next to me and stared at the floor. I knew that they were hiding something from me.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Everyone was silent.

  “Koby? Rose?”

  “Achena.”

  “What about Achena? Is she okay? What’s wrong? Rose!”

  “Achena is gone!” Rose screamed.

  “What! How?”

  “We were out looking for her the whole night,” Koby murmured.

  “She’s only a baby!” I yelled.

  “We know! Someone must’ve taken her last night while we were sleeping,” Rose explained.

  I ran upstairs and slammed the door to my room. I was scared. Achena was gone, and so was Greg. What would happen to Rose and me? Would we get caught? I missed my family. I needed Elana.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  After changing our clothes, we headed out to try to find Achena. Koby and Rose went to the lake, and I headed down the road leading from Koby’s house. Since there was nobody to talk to, I had some time to think. I realized that I really did like Greg. He had been in my life for a long time, ever since I could remember. My mind started swirling, and my thoughts jumped from track to another. I thought about all the poor Jews that had been killed in Auschwitz. It wasn’t fair. Life shouldn’t be this way.

  Bam! I slammed into a door that had been left open by the people living in a rusted house. I stumbled to the ground. Rubbing my head, I looked up and saw a Nazi smiling. He looked very familiar. I realized he was the Nazi that threw me in Auschwitz. I wearily stood up. I slowly backed away and turned and ran. While running after me, the Nazi was loading his gun. I ran down an alley and bumped into Koby and Rose.

  “God! Watch where you’re going, Maya!” Rose yelled.

  I pointed behind me, out of breath, and she realized immediately.

  “Run!” we both screamed.

  “Why are we running?” Koby asked.

  “No time to explain!” I answered while grabbing his arm.

  We ran down the alley and headed for the lake. The Nazi wasn’t alone now. He had a few more soldiers right behind him. They yelled something in German and sped up. We turned the corner and caught a speedboat heading for a ride out on the water. The Nazis were too far behind to catch the boat and almost tumbled into the water.

  Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump. My heart couldn’t slow down. We were heading back to Koby’s house after an hour boat ride. In the past few days, we had had many horrible encounters, but the last one was the worst. So much action! To think that if I were to be caught, I would have to go back to that horrible concentration camp!

  When we arrived at Koby’s house, we all sat down at the table. We talked about how to get to Rose’s parents’ house and what transportation we should take. We didn’t agree on anything. Once we were done discussing, I headed up to the room that Koby had given me and sat on the windowsill. I heard birds chirping and people screaming. I felt like I was trapped in this never-ending cycle of danger. When would it end?

  “Maya! Come down here, quick!” Rose called from downstairs.

  I ran downstairs, thinking something was wrong. When I saw who was standing at the door, my knees began to buckle.

  “Greg! You’re back!”

  I ran into his arms and gave him a huge hug. I didn’t want to let go of him ever again. He was back in my life, and I wanted him to stay there. Rose joined the group hug, and we all felt happy again. I led Rose and Greg to the couch.

  “How did you know where to find us?” Rose asked with tears in her eyes.

  “I knew you would be with Koby. I wasn’t going to let you get rid of me that fast.”

  “Greg, I was so worried.” My voice was trembling.

  Hundreds of questions tumbled into my mind like a stampede. I wanted to know how he got there and where he got the money. I also had personal questions I wanted to ask him. My thoughts were interrupted when Greg took my hand and held it in his. My face became hot, and Rose gave me a puzzled look. He squeezed it and smiled at me.

  “What are we going to do now?” I asked nervously.

  “We have to go back to … where is Achena? Is she sleeping? Can I see her?”

  “Greg,” Koby said, “Achena is gone.”

  “What do you mean she’s gone?” Greg looked at his sister and then me.

  Greg put his head in his hands. He loved Achena. He loved her from the start.

  The next morning, we said our good-byes and headed to the bus station. We were heading to the country. There, we would be safe and have time to think of a way to get back home. The plan was to find a tree and make camp right under it. The bus pulled up, and we climbed aboard. We paid the bus driver with money that Koby had given us. Greg and Rose sat together, and I sat right behind them. While Greg and Rose caught up, I was planning on getting some sleep. I dreamt and dreamt and dreamt …

  I was running as fast as I could. I looke
d back and saw there was nothing behind me. I was running from fear. Suddenly the dream shifted. I was sitting and having lunch with Elana. We were alone in the house. Elana and I were having a fight about something stupid. I lost my temper. I got up and slapped her. She ran out the door, crying. I watched her run away, afraid of me.

  “Elana!” I called. “I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry.”

  I kept saying how sorry I was. Tears fell from my eyes, and I awoke screaming.

  “Maya! Are you okay?” Greg was leaning over me, lightly touching my arm.

  “Now I know why … everything makes sense … it was my fault, all my fault!” “What do you mean?” Rose asked. “It was just a bad dream!”

  “Elana … death … my … fault,” I answered shakily. I could hardly breathe.

  “No, it wasn’t! It wasn’t your fault, Maya.”

  “What is she talking about?” Greg asked, confused.

  I quieted down and took deep breaths. Rose was by my side, stroking my head.

  “No, it was. We had a fight, and I slapped her. She ran outside. I didn’t know what to do. We were home alone. It was all my fault.”

  Once again, tears came flooding out. Rose kept shaking her head, and Greg looked confused.

  “Maya, listen to me. I know Elana would have forgiven you. She made the choice to go outside. Elana wouldn’t have wanted you to feel guilty. Trust me … trust me! She loved you so much! She knew that you didn’t mean to!”

  “I can’t believe I killed my sister! I miss her so much! She was my best friend … Elana!”

  I couldn’t stop crying. She wasn’t there to tell me in her cute little voice, “Don’t feel bad, Maya.”

  “Elana’s dead?” Greg finally caught up.