This Hurt (This Boy Book 2)

by Jenna Scott

  “Ugh, fine.” Isabel goes to the fridge and grabs a bottle of Fiji. “I don’t know why you act like you’re my mom. Not even my mom acts like that—we smoke together sometimes, even.”

  “Wait, what?” Milla cries out in surprise.

  “It’s her ‘creative puffs,’” Isabel says like it’s no big deal. “But like, I’m not gonna be all like, ‘Hey, Mom, can I get some bud to take to this high school party?’”

  “I can’t believe you’ve been hounding me when you have perfectly good grass at home. I’m sure the stuff your mom gets is way better than this schwag.” Matt leans away from the counter. “But whatever. We can smoke on the beach.”

  “We should go, too,” I tell Milla, not wanting her in the same room as Steve. “I can’t breathe in here.”

  We take off our shoes and head out, the cool breeze and salty smell of the ocean waking up all my senses. I sit behind Milla on the sand, looking out at the reflection of the moon on the ocean, while Isabel and Matt huddle up. The sound of the waves is comforting, and familiar, but it doesn’t hold a candle to Milla, her back warm against my chest, her head resting against my shoulder.

  I hold her close and brush my nose along the curve of her neck. I catch a trace of flowery perfume, a scent that reminds me of the magnolia trees that bloom in late summer. The dress she’s wearing leaves her shoulders and arms bare, and I can feel the goose bumps under my hand when I trail it down her arm.

  “Did I tell you how beautiful you look today?” I whisper in her ear, pressing my teeth gently into the lobe.

  “You did. But I don’t mind hearing it again…”

  We share a kiss. She tastes of orange, and a hint of alcohol. Knowing Milla, she mixed a weak drink. “Don’t drink too much tonight,” I say.

  “Wasn’t planning on it,” she whispers.

  “Good.” I put my hands on her waist and kiss her deeper. “Because I want you completely sober when I wreck you tonight.”

  Her hand comes up to hold my jaw. “I’ll be looking forward to it.”

  “Good girl.” I curl my tongue around hers, the rest of the world disappearing. A little sound rises from the back of her throat, and she twists around for a better angle. Her teeth close tenderly on my lower lip, and I’m about to lay her down on the sand when I hear a throat being cleared.

  “God, Hunter, can you at least try to keep it in your pants for five seconds?” Isabel grumbles. “Some of us are trying to chill here, not watch a porno.”

  Milla pulls away from me laughing, lifting her cup to down her drink in one go.

  I shrug at Isabel. “You can always look away.”

  “Not when you’re right in front of me, making that sucking sound. Ugh.” Isabel gets up from the sand and brushes off her dress. “I’m going back to get something to munch on, and try to find Emmett. Matt, you coming?”

  “Yeah.” Mason stands. “I could check out the catering.”

  “We’ll go too,” Milla says, leaving the cradle of my arms and legs. After she helps me up, she puts her lips close to my ear and whispers, “Just until we find Emmett. Matt’s a decent guy, but I’d feel better staying with Isa until we hand her off.”

  “Are the two of them having a thing?” I ask, taking her hand as we follow them back toward the beach house. “Emmett and Isabel, I mean.”

  “Not that I know of. She tells me nothing.” Milla sighs. “It wouldn’t surprise me, though. They’re practically made for each other.”

  That puts me at ease, though I haven’t been all that worried about Emmett after hearing the story Milla told me. I still don’t like that he kissed her at spring formal, not one fucking bit, but knowing it was a total fail has gone a long way toward easing my jealousy. The idea of Isabel and Emmett getting together is just the cherry on top.

  The music’s even louder inside now, to the point that everyone’s just shouting at each other, and my hand is tight around Milla’s as we follow Isabel through the house. Ortega’s nowhere to be found, so we go out back, where there’s a landscaped area with a swing under a tree, and lawn chairs and tables scattered all over. Ortega’s sitting in a corner with a bunch of nerdy-looking dudes, and Isabel stomps over to where he is.

  “Emmett, you asshole!” She punches his arm.

  “There you are!” he says, smiling up at her. “I couldn’t find you and—”

  She hauls him up off the chair by the arm. “Come on. Let’s get a drink.”

  “Isabel!” Mason interjects. “You promised you wouldn’t—”

  “While we were smoking. I never said anything about after, Matt.”

  They start bickering about Isabel’s state of intoxication, and I step closer to Milla to whisper, “Is she always this high-maintenance?”

  She shrugs. “Sometimes.” Her eyes glint, and she gives me a lopsided smile. “You’re high-maintenance too, Hunter.”

  “I am not,” I protest.

  “Oh, you so are.” She pecks my cheek. “But it’s okay. I love you anyway.”

  Just then, I hear a high-pitched female giggle behind me. I glance over my shoulder to find Hillary at the back door, practically glowing in a short white dress. Her eyes are on me, and as she starts forward, I turn back around and pull Milla into a kiss.

  As I lose myself in the feel of her lips, all I want is to scoop her up in my arms and take her away. Find a hidden corner and make her lose her mind. Maybe change it, too. Get her to stay with me next year, rather than letting this be the end.

  “Let’s get out of here,” I coax.

  “Not yet,” Milla says. “I don’t care about Hillary. I’m not gonna run away just because she showed up. Let me just have one more drink with my friends.”

  By then, Isabel and Mason have stopped their back-and-forth, and Isabel’s coming over to us, dragging Ortega by the arm.

  “Milla! Let’s refuel!” Isabel says. “We can toast to this hellish year being over.” Then, with a narrowed-eye look at me, she begrudgingly adds, “You too, Hunter.”

  And so I do, because I’m glad to toast to high school being over.

  But I can’t ignore the fact that soon, my time with Milla will be over, too.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Camilla

  I never imagined the end of high school would be like this for me.

  Not just because I’m going to be attending my dream school in the fall, and not just because my tuition there will be covered. Those things are amazing, yes, but what’s even more unexpected and incredible to look back on are the relationships I’ve formed at Oak Academy—I know that no matter what happens, Isabel and Emmett will always be a part of my life. Even if we grow apart, we’ll still be connected.

  Which of course brings me to Hunter. My heart, my soul, my ruination. I never, ever thought I’d fall so completely head over heels in love with someone during my senior year. I don’t think I even entertained the thought of having a boyfriend at all. But somehow, here I am, holding hands in a BMW with this protective, gorgeous, damaged, loving, strong-willed, sexy, ridiculously well-hung, caring, devilish, sometimes irresponsible but also irrepressible boy. My perfectly imperfect boy. All mine.

  It still takes my breath away. All of this. Him, the bond we have, the way it feels when we move together in bed, fingers entwined, his cock deep inside me. All the ways we choose to give ourselves to each other, over and over again. It’s kind of a miracle.

  Hunter’s jacket is wrapped around me, and I snuggle into the scent of it as we drive back to his place. Every time I glance over at him, I can see the muscle in his jaw flexing. It’s no secret what he’s so tense about. Despite my endless reassurances, he’s tied himself in a knot about the fact that we’re going to be apart next year.

  The thing is, I know we can make this work. If we want to. We just have to put in the effort, and stay true to each other. I’m willing to do that. I think he is, too. He just needs to have faith that things will be okay. That we will be okay. And if we’re meant to be, how could it turn ou
t any other way?

  I take a deep breath and give his hand a gentle squeeze.

  I’ve spent all night trying to avoid thinking too hard about our looming separation, but it’s no longer possible to ignore now that we’re alone in the car and Hunter’s gone pensive and silent. Still, I force myself to shove it away once again. Like Hunter, I want nothing more than to climb into his bed when we get home and ravage each other all night long. And then I want to hold on to him for as long as I can.

  Leaving Isabel and Emmett at the beach house before the party had self-destructed had been a struggle, but I’m glad Hunter and I got out early.

  After giving both of my best friends a long hug goodbye, I’d promised Isabel a Netflix and nacho date next week and invited Emmett along.

  Isabel had been swaying on her feet as she walked me and Hunter down the steps to where he’d parked his BMW. I gave her one last hug and gently told her, “I think you need to stop drinking now. Take it easy, okay?” Then I’d yelled over my shoulder to Emmett, who was waiting on the porch. “Keep an eye on her, yeah?”

  “Always do.” He smiled and waved. “See you around, Milla. Later, Beck.”

  Now, as we turn into Hunter’s neighborhood, my stomach drops as my thoughts take a dark turn. What if tonight really is the end for us? What if Hunter decides to cut me off completely because it’ll be too painful to be apart? Is he going to break up with me when we get home?

  We roll to a stop in the driveway and Hunter puts the car in park and kills the engine. I reach for the door handle when out of the blue, he says, “Don’t leave.”

  My head whips up to look at him, and I take in his closed-off expression. “Hunter…” I say gently.

  He doesn’t let me finish. “Forget the scholarship. I have my trust fund. I can use it to pay for us both to go to school here, at UCSD. San Diego has great programs, too.”

  Him? Paying for my tuition? As nice and well-meaning as his offer is…I can’t do that. I’d never be comfortable taking his money, even if it went directly to the school. A lump has formed in my throat, and I have to swallow it before I speak, taking the time to choose my words carefully.

  “That’s sweet of you to offer, but your parents would never allow that. Plus, I would never allow that.”

  Hunter doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t even blink as he grabs my hand and says, “They wouldn’t have a choice if we were married.”

  My stomach clenches, a wave of nausea washing over me. Because the very first image that pops into my head is my mom, and how she said trapping a rich guy while I’m young is my best chance at having a good life. I don’t ever want to live up to that.

  Besides, unlike her, I don’t believe that relationships only exist to get you things. With me and Hunter, there’s give and take. It’s not just take, take, take. We support each other. We love each other. And yeah, I would like to marry him, to have a family with him. Someday. But not now, and not like this, with him backed into a corner and flailing to figure out how to keep me here. Not when it would mean giving up Stanford.

  I pull my hand away, shake my head. “No. We can’t.”

  “Why not? I know you love me. And I love you. We could—”

  “It’s not that!” I try to take a deep breath to calm down, but can only manage a shaky one. “You know how my mom is. Marrying you right out of high school is exactly what she wants for me. The whole trophy wife thing, where you take care of me and I don’t have to lift a finger.”

  “But if I want to take care of you, and we love each other, then what’s the problem? Seriously, fuck what she thinks. You can’t base all your life decisions around proving her wrong.” His voice is rising too, with frustration, with sadness.

  “It’s not just that.” I make myself look at him, my sight already blurring with tears. “Hunter, we’re too young. And besides…I’ve dreamed of going to Stanford for years. It’s the thing that’s kept me going, motivated me to keep pushing, even when I wanted to quit. Do you get that? I can’t give it up. If I do, I’d end up resenting you.”

  I’m crying now, probably ruining my makeup, and I stop to collect myself as I dig around in my bag for a tissue.

  Hunter’s voice is shaking as he asks, “So that’s it, huh? Stanford is just more important than me? Than us?”

  It hurts to hear him talk like this, as if it’s all so simple. As if I’m merely choosing between a school and a boy, an apple or an orange, and my heart isn’t ripping in two with the agony and the consequences of the choice I’m being forced to make.

  “Why?” he goes on, shaking his head. “Why am I not enough for you?”

  “You are enough for me!” I yell through my tears, infuriated by how he flat-out refuses to understand where I’m coming from.

  Emotions stab in my chest, and it seems like it’s going to explode at any moment. I didn’t want to have this fight right now, but we are, and my heart breaks with every word I say.

  “I don’t want my love for you to get twisted and spiteful because I gave up on something important to me so I could stay near you. I wish…” I take a deep breath and turn my eyes to him, pleading. “Why don’t you come to Stanford? I know they offered you a place to be on their swim team if you graduated—”

  “I can’t.” Hunter’s head shakes. “I can’t leave Harrison. Look at my dad and Karleigh. You’ve seen how they are. You think I can just stand back and let him go through the same shit that I did? Let him turn out like me? Never. I won’t abandon him. You have to understand that.”

  And I do. It feels like someone poured cement on me because I can’t move, frozen with the terrible knowledge of what’d happen if Hunter left Harry with his parents and my mom to raise him. It’d probably ruin the kid, and he’s too sweet and too good for me to seriously consider putting my own wants over what’s best for him.

  “I get it,” I say, eyes downcast. “You can’t go. And I can’t give up Stanford. Not just because of the scholarship—I have to leave this town, Hunter. Start fresh, learn how to make my own way. Prove to myself that I’m the one in charge of my life and that I can make good things happen. I have to be my own person. You know I do.”

  His expression softens. “I know. I’ve always wanted to be my own person, too. Get out from under the shadow of my dad.” He takes a breath before going on, his voice rough and broken. “If Harrison weren’t here, or if Karleigh cared enough, I swear to God I would be going with you. But that’s not the way it is, and I…”

  I’m crawling over the seats into his lap, my arms around his neck as I whisper, “I get it. I really do.” Tears are rolling down my face, now, but I don’t make a move to wipe them away. “I don’t want to leave you after summer’s over. But I have to. No matter how much I’ll miss you, no matter how much it hurts.” I touch his face. “These months with you were the best of my life. I never expected anything as good as this could happen to me. That you could happen to me.”

  “Don’t cry,” Hunter pleads, holding me tighter.

  “I don’t want to lose you,” I whisper, snuggling closer to him.

  “You won’t,” he says.

  “Then why does it feel like I will? That seems like what you’re telling me will happen, whether we want it to or not.”

  He takes a deep breath, but doesn’t say anything in response.

  “I love you,” I repeat. “That won’t change, whether I’m at Stanford, or here.”

  He nods. “I’m going to miss you. So much. I don’t want this to end, either.”

  “It doesn’t have to, Hunter.” I trace his cheek with my thumb, and he closes his eyes. “We can make it work. This love isn’t going to go away just because we’re apart. But we can FaceTime. We can see each other on the weekends. We can even meet halfway, if we have to. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

  He hugs me tighter, so tight it’s hard to breathe, but I don’t say anything. I just want him to say he’ll try. And to close his arms around me until I disappear into them. His fingers thread through my
hair, his breath warm against my scalp.

  “I will too, Milla. Whatever it takes to be with you, I’ll do it. Even if it means letting you go for five days a week.”

  At his words, fresh tears spill over my cheeks. But this time they’re tears of relief, and happiness, and gratitude that he’s willing to face these challenges together.

  High school is really over, and right here and now, after this fight, with Hunter’s lips on my collarbone, is when it really hits me. My time being with him all day every day is limited, and I have to savor every single moment of it. Of him.

  “Let’s go upstairs,” I murmur. “Be with me tonight. And every night this summer. I want to get as much of you as I can.”

  Hunter kisses me, and then looks into my eyes with a smile. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  Chapter Forty

  Camilla

  We run up to Hunter’s room, and once we start kissing, neither of us can stop. I want to show him how much I love him with a desperation that won’t let me ease up, and it seems like he feels the same.

  He sets me down at the foot of the bed, and while I unclasp my heels, he takes off his shoes and socks. I reach behind me for the zipper of my dress, but can’t get it to go down. A little grunt of frustration leaves me, and I look up and realize Hunter’s watching me with a smile on his face.

  “You need a little help there?” he asks.

  I let out a laugh and slide off the bed, turning around so he can assist. I feel the zipper go down in a smooth movement, my dress falling off my shoulders, and I unclasp my bra as Hunter slides the dress the rest of the way down my body and onto the carpet.

  Before I can turn back around, Hunter’s pushing me gently onto the bed, so I’m bent over with my torso on the mattress and my feet on the floor. He grinds up against my ass, and I can feel his hardness through my underwear.

  “Are you going to fuck me like this?” I murmur. I like how it feels, getting it from behind, but I’m craving eye contact right now. I figure I’ll give him a few minutes like this before I make him join me on the bed.