Nightmares from Within

by Jessica Prince

  “I told you that you were stronger than you knew,” a voice said from behind me.

  I spun around and gasped when I saw who was standing behind me. “Granny?” She looked exactly as she had the evening before my seventh birthday.

  “I’m so proud of you, my sweet Lydia.” She walked toward me and reached her hand out to brush her fingers over the locket she’d given to me years ago. “I never doubted that you’d do the right thing.”

  I single tears slid down my cheek at her declaration. “What are you talking about?”

  “You saved that young man’s life.”

  I knew exactly who she was talking about. Relief flooded me and I smiled at the knowledge that Jordan was okay. “You love him very much, don’t you, sweet girl?”

  I nodded as more tears flowed. “I do. He’s the only man I’ve ever loved.”

  Granny smiled and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “He loves you too, Lydia. You’re so lucky to have a man who loves you as strongly and as passionately as he does. That’s all I ever wanted for you, darling.” As she spoke, her tears broke free and I reached to wipe them away. Granny grabbed hold of my hand and wrapped it in both of hers. “Hold on to that and never let it go.”

  “I won’t, Granny, I promise.”

  She released my hand before cupping my cheeks and placing a soft kiss on my forehead. Then she placed one hand on my stomach and graced me with a beautiful, bright smile. “With the love both you and your young man will give her she’ll never have to live in fear.”

  At her words, I let out a sob and covered my mouth with both hands. “You teach her well, my precious Lydia. Stand by her and show that she has nothing to fear. You can be there for her in all the ways I wish I could have been there for you.”

  I nodded my head and both of our tears ran freely as I placed my hands over my grandmother’s. “I will. I love you, Granny.”

  “I love you too, darling.”

  My eyes fluttered open but the light in the room made the pounding in my head so much worse. “Too bright,” I croaked. My throat felt dry and scratchy and I hardly recognized my voice.

  “Oh thank Christ. She’s awake!” I heard a deep voice declare way too loudly.

  “I’ll get Jordan,” another, somewhat raspy female voice exclaimed.

  I heard shuffling around the room and the lights thankfully dimmed slightly so I was finally able to open my eyes all the way. Daniel was hovering directly over me, so close I could see my reflection in his crystal blue eyes.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  I let out a groan as the sound of his voice banged around inside my head. “I’d be a lot better if you’d back the hell up. Jesus, I can tell you had onions for lunch.”

  Daniel shot up and called over his shoulder seriously, “She’s going to be just fine. The knife didn’t sever the sarcastic artery.”

  Seconds later, he went flying out of my line of sight and I heard the sounds of a scuffle going on in the corner of the room. “Is there ever a time of day or night when you aren’t a complete douche hole?” My heart rate picked up at the sound of Jordan’s voice. I tried to turn my head to look at him, but even that slight movement sent pain shooting through me.

  “Probably not,” Daniel replied casually.

  “Jordan,” I cried desperately.

  Instantly, he was standing over me and the sight of his tired, smiling face brought tears to my eyes. “I thought he was going to kill you,” I sobbed.

  He ran a hand softly over my head as he made soothing sounds in my ear. “It’s okay, Crimson. Don’t cry. I’m right here. I’m okay, everyone’s okay.”

  “I see our patient’s finally awake,” An older, deep voice called from the doorway of the room. I tried to push up but a sharp, shooting pain sliced through my chest causing me to lose my breath. “Slow down, sweetheart,” the older man said as he walked over to my bedside. He fiddled with a few buttons on the side of my bed and I was slowly raised to sitting position in the bed. My eyes took in everyone standing in the room. The first thing I noticed was Benny standing over in the corner of the room, her eyes red as tears streamed down her face.

  Gary stood at her side with a comforting arm wrapped tightly around her shoulder. The look on his face was a combination of sadness and gratitude.

  Jordan was standing to my right holding my hand firmly in both of his and Daniel stood behind an older man to my left. He was wearing a white lab coat and I could only assume he was my doctor. His handsome features were highlighted by a thick head of dark hair with a smattering of gray around his temples. The best word to describe him was distinguished. If I went for older men—and if I wasn’t completely and utterly in love with Jordan—I might have been tempted to make a play for the silver fox.

  Sensing my appreciation of the handsome doctor, Jordan gave my hand a squeeze, pulling my attention to his dark, slightly irritated eyes. “You’ve been awake for all of thirty seconds after scaring ten years off my life. You think you could refrain from giving the doc here come hither eyes?”

  My blush came back full force, warming my cheeks to a feverish level. “Sorry, baby,” I muttered. “I love you.”

  He leaned over to me and planted a closed mouth, possessive kiss on my lips. “Love you too, Crimson.”

  A chuckle to my left pulled me out of my lust filled haze and caused the redness on my cheeks to darken even more. “I’m Dr. Andrews, it’s nice to finally meet you. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we’re very happy you’re finally awake, Ms. Carmichael. You’ve given your friends here quite a scare.”

  My mind flashed with images of the last thing I remembered and I started to feel the telltale signs of a panic attack starting, setting off the monitors behind my head. Dr. Andrews stepped over and started pushing some buttons to silence the annoying beeping. “Try and calm down, Ms. Carmichael, you’re safe now. Nothing is going to happen to you here. I need you to try and relax and calm your breathing.”

  I sucked in a deep breath and instantly regretted it as that pain ripped through my chest again. My eyes shot down to the white bandage that started at my collar bone on my right side and extended down to the center of my chest. “What happened?” I finally managed to ask.

  “Ms. Carmichael, do you remember what happened to you?” I felt tears clogging my throat and couldn’t speak past them so I just nodded. “You were stabbed. And I have to say, you were extremely lucky. Other than severe blood loss and a pretty nasty knife wound, you didn’t sustain any serious internal injuries. We were able to repair the damage and control the bleeding. The surgery took about two hours and you’ve been unconscious since yesterday.”

  As the doctor spoke my grandmother’s words echoed in my head. “The baby?” I asked, almost scared to hear his answer.

  Dr. Andrews’ hand reached for the hospital blanket that was covering my stomach and pulled it back to reveal a round contraption, held together with an elastic band that wrapped around my abdomen resting on the center of my belly. “This is a fetal monitor Ms. Carmichael. If you look at that monitor right there you’ll see that the baby’s heart rate is just fine.”

  My tears broke free and I cried in relief that the baby I didn’t even know existed until just a few minutes before was doing just fine. I turned to my right to see Jordan’s reaction. He’d already had a day to come to grips with the fact that he was going to be a father, but that didn’t mean he was necessarily going to be happy about it.

  All of the anxiety I felt at the thought of Jordan not wanting this instantly disappeared as I watched the biggest, brightest grin spread across his face when the doctor talked about our baby.

  “The obstetrician will be in later today to speak with you, but so far your little one is a fighter just like its mommy.”

  After the doctor checked my vitals and examined the staples he’d used on my wound, he announced that everything was healing beautifully and depending on what the obstetrician said, I should be able to go home in the next
few days.

  Benny and Gary both hung around for a few minutes after Dr. Andrews left to hug and cry over me. By the time the two of them left I was completely exhausted and in more than a little bit of pain, but I had questions that I needed answers to.

  “What happened with Bryan?” I finally asked once only Daniel and Jordan were left in the room with me.

  Daniel dropped his head but I noticed his eyes grew shiny before he looked down to study his shoes. Seeing the tears in his eyes hurt my heart and almost set me off again.

  Jordan cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably before looking back at me. “He’s dead, baby.”

  I recalled hearing a gunshot right before I passed out. “You shot him, didn’t you?”

  Daniel dropped into the chair beside me and Jordan rested on the bed next to me and reached for my hand. “When you dove in front of me and I saw that knife…” His voice cracked and a single tear escaped his eyes. “I thought I’d lost you. You hit the ground and I just fired.”

  I took as deep a breath as I could without hurting my chest. “So it’s over? We don’t have to worry about him anymore?” It almost seemed too good to be true.

  “It’s over, baby,” Jordan said quietly.

  He leaned in and squeezed me as tightly as he could without hurting me and we just held each other for several minutes.

  “We’re going to have a baby,” he whispered in awe after pulling back slightly to look in my eyes.

  I smiled at Jordan with so much love inside me it was overwhelming. After several seconds the sound of a clearing throat pulled us back into reality.

  Daniel smiled sheepishly and in that moment, I knew he knew. “Daniel,” I whispered. I didn’t need to say anything else.

  “I know, honey. It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

  Jordan’s eyes darted back and forth between me and Daniel. “Someone want to tell me what’s going on?”

  I took Jordan’s hand in mine and placed it on my belly. “I saw my grandmother,” I stated. “I don’t know if it was a dream or a vision but…I saw her. That’s how I knew I was pregnant.” I smiled again as tears streamed down my cheek. “It’s a little girl, Jordan.”

  His jaw dropped and his eyes bugged out. “A girl?”

  I nodded.

  “I’m going to have a baby girl?” His dimples popped as the realization hit him and the joy I saw on his face was contagious.

  “Baby, I have to tell you something,” I finally said, hating to burst our happy little bubble.

  “What? What’s the matter? Is something wrong with her?” he asked worriedly.

  I looked at Daniel at a loss as to how to explain it to Jordan. Daniel took pity on me and dropped the bomb himself. “She’s going to be a Seer, Jordan. She’s going to have the same gift her mother and her great-grandmother did.”

  “Wait…” Jordan shook his head violently. “No. No! I won’t let my little girl go through what Taylor suffered with all her life. I won’t!”

  I grabbed his face in my hands, feeling a sense of calm that I’d never experienced before. “Do you trust me?” I asked.

  He didn’t speak, only nodded.

  “Then you have to believe me when I tell you that our little girl is going to be just fine. With the love that you and I are going to give her, she’s never going to have to grow up in fear the way I did. I have faith in that. I need you to as well.” I ran my thumb along his lower lip gently before asking, “Do you believe me?”

  Jordan turned his face into my palm and planted a loving kiss in the center. “I do, Crimson.” We smiled at each other before something crossed over his face. “Wait a minute.” He turned and addressed Daniel. “You said she was going to have the same gift her mother and grandmother had.”

  It was Daniel’s turn to clear his throat uncomfortably. “Yeah, well…you know that higher power I was talking about?”

  Jordan and I both nodded in the affirmative.

  “An exception was made for Taylor. It’s never been done before…but…well, you were never supposed to come so close to dying, Taylor. After everything…everything you’ve suffered through in your life, a decision was made. You can choose to relinquish your gift and live the rest of your life like you’ve always wanted to.” He smiled but there was a sadness in his eyes.

  I was shocked. I don’t know how long I sat there, just staring at Daniel. “I have a choice?”

  “You do.”

  I didn’t know what to think. Then the reason for his sadness hit me. “What about you? If I’m no longer a Seer will I still get to see you?”

  He shook his head and the sadness radiating off him filled the room. “If you aren’t a Seer there’s no reason for you to have a Guide.”

  I looked back at Jordan and saw understanding reflected back at me. He knew how important Daniel was to me because he had grown to be important to Jordan also. “But you’re my family,” I told Daniel. “I’ve finally accepted my gift; I’m not scared of it anymore. If giving it up means I lose you too then I’m keeping it.”

  I don’t think I could have said anything that would have surprised him more. “Taylor, this is what you’ve wanted your whole life; a chance to be normal and to build a family without this hanging over your head. This is a lot to take in. You need to at least give it some thought. Don’t jump to a decision right now.”

  I reached down and caressed my belly. “There’s nothing to think about,” I replied. “I’ve already built my family and you’re a part of it.”

  Daniel’s eyes brightened and he let out a cough to mask the tears that were threatening to fall. Jordan released my hand and stood to walk around the bed. He lifted his hand for Daniel to shake and gave him a sincere smile. “Welcome to the family, Uncle Daniel.”

  7 ½ Years Later

  “Cassandra Marilyn Donovan, I told you to clean your room or I was going to cancel your birthday party tomorrow,” I called from the hall as I made my way toward the living room.

  “But Moooom,” she whined to me from her seat on the couch between her father and uncle. “It’s the bottom of the ninth. I can’t leave now. The Mariners are about the kick White Sox ass.”

  Jordan choked on the drink of beer he’d just taken and Daniel let out a bark of laughter. I narrowed my eyes at my little girl and demanded, “Room. Now. Or I’m calling Benny to cancel your princess cake, and telling Gary not to let any of your friends up for your party.”

  Cassie let out an exasperated huff and headed toward her bedroom, moping the whole way. I watched as my beautiful, hazel eyed little girl walked out of the room before turning back to the two most important men in my life. “You’re horrible influences. You know that, right?”

  “It was him!” Daniel insisted like a kid caught with his hand caught in a candy jar. “I told him to watch his mouth in front of the kid.”

  “Oh, bullshit!” Jordan demanded. “You’re just as bad as I am. You just called me a douche nozzle in front of the kid.”

  I rolled my eyes at the both of them. It had been like this for the past eight years. “Can you please refrain from calling my daughter the kid, please?”

  Jordan grabbed me by my hips and pulled me down into his lap. “Have I mentioned how in love with you I am?” he asked, trying to win brownie points.

  “Hmm.” I tapped my chin and squinted at the ceiling. “Not today.”

  He shot me that dimpled grin before giving me a lingering kiss. “I love you, baby.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Daniel let out a gagging sound next to us. “It’s times like these I wish you would have relinquished your gift. This lovey dovey shit makes me itchy.”

  “Hey,” Jordan stated. “You’re the one who told me that we were meant to find each other.”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t think I’d be stuck seeing you suck face on a regular basis. I was hoping she’d friend-zone your ass so I wouldn’t have to deal with this shit.”

  Jordan reached over and punched Dan
iel in the arm. “Sorry, buddy boy. Fate made its decision a long time ago. Deal with it.

  Cassie had taken her bath and was lying in her bed after I finished reading her a bedtime story. Jordan and Daniel joined me at her bedside to have the most important conversation we’d ever have with her.

  “Do you have any clue how special you are, my sweet Cassie?” I asked as I clasped my grandmother’s locket around her tiny neck. “You’re just like me, love. We have a special gift.”

  It was the night before my daughter’s seventh birthday.

  Cassie knew she was special. We’d never hidden it from her, but until tonight, she didn’t know the extent of her gift.

  “What special gift, Mommy?” she asked, staring at me with those gorgeous eyes she’d inherited from her dad. Her head was in my lap as I ran my fingers through her light brown hair just like my grandmother had for me when I was her age.

  “We can see things, sweet girl. Special things that no one else can see. We have visions,” I whispered with a smile, repeating the same words my grandmother said to me so many years ago. “And it’s our job to try and help the people we see in our visions.”

  Cassie’s bottom lip trembled and Jordan and Daniel stepped closer in a show of support. “I’m scared,” she whispered in a small voice that broke my heart.

  “Do you remember where you got your name from, baby girl?” I asked her.

  “Yeah. You named me Cassandra after your best friend and Marilyn after your Granny.”

  I stroked her hair lovingly. “That’s right. I named you after the two strongest people in the whole entire world. You know why I did that?”

  She shook her head and looked up at me inquisitively.

  “Because you’re just as strong as they are,” I whispered. “You just don’t know it yet.”

  She ran her finger over the locket I’d passed on to her lightly before wrapping her fingers around it and holding on tight.

  “And you have me, Daddy and Uncle Daniel and we’re always going to be here for you.”