by Brynn Paulin
Dick leaned into her and grasped her chin to lift her gaze to his. She blinked away the tears that had formed on her lids, not wanting him to think she didn’t like this.
His thumb flicked at a stray tear as it rolled over her cheek.
“Too much?” he asked.
She shook her head quickly.
“On your knees, Jane,” he ordered, and a strange relief washed over her. He’d been right earlier when he’d said her body ached to submit and kneel before him. She wanted this.
He kicked her clothes out of the way then steadied her as she moved to the position he’d requested, while keeping her hands where he’d instructed. The movement pulled at her breasts and she groaned at the amplified sensation on her nipples. Need licked at her cunt, and she was sure her panties wouldn’t withstand much more moisture before her cream seeped to her thighs.
As he stood over her and she stared at the prominent ridge in the front of his pants, she wondered how she’d ever believed this man to be vanilla and boring in any way, shape or form. He’d done nothing but stoke her senses since she’d walked through his front door. Yes, he’d orchestrated that, but he’d kept commanding her subtly then not so subtly until they reached this point. He was a dominant, and she’d been oblivious. Even holding himself back, she should have sensed this.
And now, he stalked her. She was most definitely his prey…vulnerable. Desperately, she hoped this wasn’t a ruse to get even with her. She was nearly naked while he was fully clothed. It reminded her of his superior position and worried her. He was in charge, and she would serve him. Her fingers curled as she acknowledged she’d like to serve him by taking his cock in her mouth.
Dick moved closer, and she breathed in his masculine scent, wanting permission to touch him or open his pants. Instead, he walked behind her once more. His fingers threaded tightly through her hair, pulling as he directed her forward until she was bent with her shoulders to the laminate floor and her ass in the air.
Yes!
He knelt behind her, his knees pushing apart her legs and his clothing brushing against her. It felt so right to have him over her. He kissed her neck then made a path down her spine. Jane trembled wondering what he’d do next. This display of mastery over her body showed her far more than the equipment had. How could she have missed this? Even if he’d held back.
But what if he was proving how far he could push her? It was suddenly too much, too overpowering, And as much as she wanted a man who was alpha and commanding, as much as she’d fantasized after reading BDSM books, she wasn’t sure she was ready for BDSM in any form. And she wasn’t sure she trusted Dick enough.
“Dick,” she whispered, purposely not calling him Sir now that her senses had broken through. “Please… Please stop.”
Everything had gone too far, way too fast.
With far more control than she’d ever seen in a man, he immediately pulled away and sat back on his haunches. His large, warm hand splayed on her ass. She squeezed shut her eyes, ashamed that she couldn’t just rush forward into this. She was disappointing him and disappointing herself. The exciting zing of lurid sensation on her nipples morphed to a sting that mocked her.
Why couldn’t she get past her hang-ups?
“You don’t want this?” he asked softly, faint frustration edging his words.
“I…” she did. She really did! “I…can’t. I have to be sure first. Please understand.”
He sighed. Gently, his hands smoothed over her shoulders and down her arms. Without a word, he pulled her upright to rest on her heels then opened one of the clamps. It dropped to the floor with a light clunk as she gasped at the fire rushing into the tip of her breast. A moment later, he released the other.
Her head dropped forward while she panted through it, and hot tears formed in the corners of her eyes. A sense of bottomless, hollow failure gnawed at her.
“Fear is a horrible thing,” Dick said, running his palm over the back of her head.
“I’m not scared of you,” she muttered.
“I know. You’re afraid of what’s inside you, of where this might lead you and what you might find out about yourself.”
She knew more than enough about herself. She didn’t want him to find it. Sniffling, she wrapped her arms around herself, even more ashamed of not being able to just rush forward and give her trust.
“You know what I’m afraid of?” he asked.
That surprised her. She opened her eyes and turned to look at him. His image shimmered through her tears, and she tried to blink it clear. Dick wiped them away with his thumbs.
“I’m afraid of you running from this. I’m afraid we won’t get the chance to have the relationship we were meant to have. But we can’t go forward if you’re full of fear.” Rolling back on his feet, he stood. “Go home, Jane. Think about this and come back tomorrow night. I’ll leave your briefcase and papers by the door.”
Without another word, he walked from the room, leaving her alone and defeated by her own inability to move forward. The nipple clamps mocked her from the floor as she stood to gather her clothes. Walking from here right now would be worse than any morning-after walk of shame could ever be, not because of what others would see but because of what was inside herself.
Chapter Three
True to what Dick had said, her bag had been at the front door when she’d come downstairs. He’d turned on a light in the front hall since twilight had been settling in on the city. The house had been silent, and he’d been nowhere to be seen. The whole atmosphere had sent a clear message. They were done there. She was not to look for him.
Quietly, she’d slid through the front door and gone home.
It had been a craptastic night. She’d spent all evening beating herself up then had tossed and turned all night before resuming the self-castigation the next morning. By five, as she was ushering a couple out of one of the homes she was showing, she was no more ready to go back to Dick than she had been when she’d first left his home. Just thinking of him, her body throbbed with “what if”, but she was sure that would go away. So after she’d waved goodbye to her clients, she pointed her car toward home and another fruitless night of self-berating.
She’d thought she was past these issues. She’d always had image problems and been afraid her body wasn’t good enough. Her mother had fed that, always encouraging her to lose weight and kvetching about not having a beauty queen daughter and telling her she would have succeeded at things had she been thinner—and it didn’t matter what Jane had failed at. Her weight was always at issue. The only time Jane had pleased her mother was when Jane had been concentration-camp thin. Everyone had been worried that Jane was killing herself—everyone but her mother and her sisters, who’d taken up their mom’s battle cry.
Jane had ended up feeling like a failure. She could never be enough—except too fat—or ever give enough. Nothing met expectations.
The only acceptance she felt was at the hands of her father. Vulnerable to her mother’s overbearing ways, he’d secretly been Jane’s ally. He’d been so weak, subjugated by his wife. Jane hated it and vowed she’d never be with a man who was so soft. But did she want to give herself to a man and let him be in charge? She thought it was natural, but she also wanted to be a person who was loved and cherished—openly—and who had a right to her own thoughts and opinions.
Could she have that if she entered into a relationship with Dick, a relationship that would be far different from what they’d had?
It was the next afternoon when Jane realized she had to give Dick a chance, but she wouldn’t be the female version of her father. She would not be a doormat. What she and Dick did would be for pleasure. For both of them.
She stared at her computer monitor as if a starburst of light had erupted right in front of her. Why had she twisted this all around? What she could have with Dick was a world apart from anything she’d yet experienced.
That she wanted Dick wasn’t at question. She definitely wanted him, and now, she kne
w, he absolutely had it in his power to excite her. She didn’t doubt he could keep her interested and aroused for a long, long time. It was his methods she questioned and, even more so, her reaction to them.
He was patient, strong, dominant and definitely in control of himself. His behavior when she’d asked him to stop told her that. How would she withstand him and not lose herself? Did she even need to worry about that?
Resting her face in her hand, she admitted that wasn’t her top worry. She didn’t want to face her secrets or be out of control. It terrified her right down in the pit of her belly. Even now, she felt it go tight as she thought of giving someone such power over her.
Her teeth sank into her lip. She wasn’t afraid of being tied up, of trying out his toys, of being flogged or spanked or anything along those lines. After so many years of being strong since she’d left home, it was the unknown and knowing she had no control over what Dick would do. That authority would belong to him. Could she handle that?
Her first inclination was no, but she quickly rethought that when a rush of disappointment punched her in the chest. Well, could she? A picture of her kneeling before him, willing to give or take what he wanted materialized in her mind.
He’d touch her. He would love her, punish her, tease her, torment her, give her pleasure and pain. He’d touch her. He’d give her what she’d never had. No one had touched in her home—it was only words, mostly negative, painful words.
She sat up straight, her hands settling in her lap, as a tingle started through her. Dick would give her the physical attention she needed. All of it.
Acceptance opened inside her like a slow blooming flower.
It wouldn’t be easy, and she’d have to fight herself, but she definitely wanted to try. She wouldn’t be running into it—Lord, she was already a day late. That wouldn’t bode well. Still, she trusted him enough to believe he wouldn’t reject her if she showed up now.
She had to move before she started second guessing her faith.
Though it was only three, she packed up her desk and told the office’s administrative assistant that she was running over to the Wolf River house to work on the listing.
Well, it was partially true, only there was no listing and she was stopping home first.
Fifteen minutes later, she sailed into her apartment and rushed to her bedroom. Twenty minutes later, she flew out again, dressed in her best lingerie and a form-fitting, red dress with a square neckline and long sleeves. It made her feel sexy, despite the amount of skin it covered. The hem brushed mid-thigh as she walked down the stairs in her favorite pair of black Christian Louboutin shoes. She had lots of heels, but Dick had always favored “the ones with the red soles” so that’s what she’d chosen.
Her heart thumped crazily as she drove to Dick’s house then pulled into the driveway. He’d probably been at the house for an hour or so. His medical practice closed early on Fridays, and he usually came right home. At one time, she’d thought it was just because he didn’t have much of a social life and was…boring. She’d been so dumb. Maybe the man had simply wanted to relax.
Maybe that was just what he let you think. Maybe he was hiding his real social life from you. You’re not the only one with secrets.
Anticipation rode through her, but she no longer wondered if she was doing the right thing. It would be wrong not to pursue this, and that was all that mattered. She was just a little late on the draw. Hopefully, Dick would easily forgive her.
Her legs trembled as she walked to the front door, hoping he wasn’t watching her from inside. She needed to see the unfiltered reaction in his eyes when he opened the door, not the schooled expression that would follow when he had time to think. As quickly as Dick’s brain worked, a split second was ample time to corral his thoughts and reactions.
Geez, she was a mess and trembling like mad at the knowledge she’d see him again in a few moments. What would they do? What would he do to her?
Her knees shook as she stood at the front door. This is stupid, she chided herself. This was Dick. She knew him. This wasn’t some random guy. Still, her hand wavered as she raised it to knock on the door.
Late.
A whole day late.
The knock seemed to echo, ricocheting around her middle. Maybe she should just go home and chalk this one up to another Jane mistake. Another on a really long list.
Don’t be a chicken. Dick was offering everything she wanted.
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Behind her, a car puttered down the quiet road and kids ran through a sprinkler a few houses away. As time passed, a strange sense of calm surrounded her. Her blood pressure slowed to match the slow buzz of the bumblebee flitting about the lush blooms in the flowerbeds that ran the front of the house.
The calm was short lived. Dick’s footsteps sounded in the front foyer as he rushed for the door, probably thinking she was someone else and that whoever waited was just about to walk away.
Would he reject her? She was late...
Dick had his cell phone to his ear and was bare-chested as he opened the door then stared at her. The faintest of sparks flickered in his eyes then disappeared. Otherwise, he showed little reaction, positive or negative.
“Hey, Haydon,” he said, interrupting the person on the phone. “I’ve gotta go.”
Never taking his eyes from Jane, he disconnected the call and stuck the phone in his pocket.
“You’re late,” he said evenly, his tone devoid of any hint of his feelings on the matter.
This would be a good time to be a little submissive.
Jane hung her head and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Sir.”
“Hmm,” he responded, and Jane almost groaned. It was going to be like this. Dick wasn’t giving her an inch. Through her peripheral vision, she saw his muscular arms cross over his chest. His feet were planted shoulder-width apart in what she could only call a commanding pose.
A quiver rippled through her womb. She wanted him to command her. To dominate her. To… Well, at the moment, to reassure her he wasn’t sending her away because she was too late.
He didn’t tell her that. He didn’t utter a word, so when his hand shot out and captured her elbow, he took her by complete surprise. So did the fact that she’d apparently slid her arms behind her back while she’d waited for him. Perhaps a point in her favor. She hoped so anyway.
Roughly, he hauled her into the house and slammed the door. His fingers bit into her arm as he pulled her toward his den.
Okay, he was mad, but was he at least glad she’d shown up, albeit a day late?
He didn’t even kiss her, and she didn’t think that boded well.
Jane didn’t say a word as she scrambled along beside him, rushing to keep up with his long strides as fast as her high-heeled feet could carry her. Despite the dark, forbidding aura now emanating from him, arousal flooded her. She’d seen Dick’s loving, caring side. Now, it was time to revel in his command. She understood without him saying so that they’d entered directly into the precursor to sexual activity when he’d answered the door. This was a scene, and she was to behave accordingly.
He let go of her when she was standing directly in front of the desk he used at home. “Don’t move,” he told her.
“Yes, Sir.”
“Don’t speak until I tell you to, either.”
Her lips parted to answer, but she snapped them shut. Silently, she nodded. He was really pissed. Really, really pissed.
To her surprise, he left the room. She blinked and hazarded a look. He’d really gone! Well, uh…what was she supposed to do now?
Wait, apparently. Figuring it was probably best not to irritate him further, she held her position and studied the carpet. A few minutes later, Dick returned. She felt his heat as he skirted her to circle the desk, but he didn’t touch her.
The chair creaked as he sat back. Furtively, she glanced at him. Her stomach dropped in disappointment as she saw he’d donned a T-shirt. It stretched across his muscl
es, and at any other time, she would have been pleased by the sight. But the fact that he’d put on clothing didn’t give her much confidence. He seemed none to eager to move things forward.
As he looked her, one ankle rested on the opposite knee. An arm draped casually across his thigh while the other was propped on the armrest. A finger traced back and forth along his upper lip as he regarded her as if deciding what to do with her. Only, she was pretty sure he knew exactly what he was going to do. Dick made split second decisions, slicing to the core of a situation with the precision of a surgeon. It was one of the traits that made him such a good doctor. He knew his stuff, and he processed problems as quickly as a NASA computer.
Her stomach muscles clenched as worry plagued her. Was he playing with her, getting ready to send her packing? Did he want to see how far he could push her? That had been her worry the other night, and it hadn’t left her.
Her vision blurred slightly, and she sucked in a shuddery gasp, realizing she’d been holding her breath.
“I didn’t want to start with punishment,” he said. “But I guess that’s how it will be.”
Biting the inside of her lip to keep silent, she nodded. She tried to keep the happiness off her face. She didn’t mind punishment—at least she didn’t think she did—and it meant he wasn’t sending her away.
“Why were you late?”
Raising her gaze, she opened her mouth to answer then closed her lips. He hadn’t given her permission to speak. But… Her brows drew together.
“Two things,” Dick told her. “First, I’m not out to trick you. I asked you a question so therefore you can answer. Second, I’m fair. I may be the Dominant here, but I expect us to be on equal footing. Well, equal-ish. I’m not out to crush your spirit. But…well, I guess there is a third thing,” he observed with a mirthless, half-laugh. “I expect you to obey me when it comes to our sexual relationship. And right now, pretty much all our interaction is just that. Sexual.” His fingers tapped on his thigh. “So why were you late? A whole. Day. Late?”