No Place Like Home

by Erik Schubach

  He bowed again. “Thank you, Lady Dorothy.” He took the cage and scurried off as Toto leaned on the railing, placing her chin on her crossed arms cutely as she watched her girl work. We could hear the clucking chickens squeaking as the man went, were they laying eggs already?

  A woman who looked to be a big grasshopper stepped in next and bowed on her big hind legs, and in a high pitched tiny voice, she said, “I am the dressmaker, Tinaliea. The battle with the demons yesterday killed off all my silkworms, Lady Dorothy. And...”

  Dorothy held up her hand to stop her and smiled. “Got you covered.” She reached out and pulled a bolt of fabric from... well from nothing. That's not entirely true as I could taste the bright magics that seemed to weave the fabric out of the world itself. “Take this never-ending bolt of silk to make your dresses Tinaliea... and here, have a cookie.” She handed her a cookie from the plate on her throne that hadn't been there last time I looked. She shooed the odd woman out.

  She was helping these people who had problems. And giving them cookies? It was strange, but I noted that none of them even asked for the help she gave.

  Dorothy glanced up and saw us and gave us a brilliant smile. Then she shooed the next person out of the room. “Sorry, must speak to our new guests. Please inform the crowd. The woman curtsied and scurried off.

  A rustling above us brought my eyes to the dome above us, and I realized that the textured ceiling was moving. There were hundreds of flying monkeys hanging upside down from it, their wings rustling. They seemed to be everywhere Dorothy was.

  Protecting her? But she was apparently the most dangerous thing in Oz. Toto followed my gaze,

  “Dot freed them. They protect her out of devotion now instead of fear.”

  I nodded, and when I was done nodding, Dorothy stepped up to us, hugging her girl. I realized we were on the main floor of the audience chamber somehow. I was starting to wonder how Ella had held her own against Dorothy when we first met. Perhaps her power is finite, and she had used a lot in the battle already.

  I squeaked when Dorothy hugged me then Vermillion, and just cocked an eyebrow at Ella, who cocked an eyebrow back. The witch was certainly in a good mood. I wonder how much of that was the influence of the good magics I could taste at her forefront and how much of it had been... umm...

  her early morning activities with a certain blonde.

  We heard a gong in the distance, and we all looked at the windows when the sun rose from the horizon to high into the sky.

  “Come, ladies, we've much to discuss before the next demon attack. Breakfast with us? And you, lady Munchkin, I love your hair. Cookie?” She had that plate of cookies in her hand somehow.

  Vermillion simply curtsied as she accepted the cookie and started to nibble on it. “You are too kind, mistress.”

  Dorothy said, “Sit,” as she motioned around the large table in her quarters we were now standing in... when had that happened? This was getting freaky now. Well, it had been before, but just – wow.

  The table was covered with a buffet of breakfast items... and a plate of cookies. We all sat, Toto, melting away and climbing onto a chair in her dog form. Fenriss scooped up her kimono from the floor

  to drape over the back of the chair. I looked a question to Dorothy as she loaded a plate up in front of Toto. She shared, “We conserve as much of her eight hours as we can each day.”

  Toto whined at her, and she looked at the plate she was preparing and rolled her eyes and added another pancake. I almost chuckled but was able to hide my smile behind my hand. Even in dog form, Antoinette had the wicked witch wrapped around her finger, and it was cute as hell.

  She looked over at Ver who sat politely beside Ella-Marie. “Your name, lady Munchkin?”

  Ver sat up straight and proud, and chirped out, “Vermillion Chrysanthemum, mistress Dorothy.”

  Dorothy inclined her head to her, then waved her hands at the food. She looked around. I didn't need to be asked twice and started loading up a plate.

  I asked as I sat back down, “Toni can only be human for eight hours a day?”

  Dorothy hesitated as she took a bite of a peach-like fruit, then nodded. “I twisted the spell the former Witch of the East had cast upon her.”

  I saw the warning in Toto's eyes as she chomped down on her meal. I've always been a little too inquisitive for my own good. But Marie beat me to it as I felt her come to the forefront in Ella. “Then ma cher, why did you not just remove the spell?”

  She didn't answer, she just kept eating her peach like she hadn't heard. Ver spoke up carefully,

  “Only the witch who casts a spell can break it. Dorothy is the most powerful Witch of the Cardinal Points, and even she cannot remove the workings of another.”

  She looked at Dorothy who pretended to ignore us. She didn't like talking about things like this, and I realized she had done this before when she let Toto talk to us about her killing the Witch of the West. She just ate as Ver said a little more confidently when Fenriss moved between her and Dorothy.

  “After the Dark Years, once Dorothy regained herself, she had all but exhausted herself trying to break the curse. Guidance from Oz himself showed her that she could only modify a spell once spelled.

  Now she regains the one she loves for part of the day.”

  I perked up. “Guidance from Oz? I thought Baum was trapped in the mortal realm.”

  Dorothy picked up her fork and waved it dismissively. “That pain in the ass is always popping in to throw around his stupid premonitions and unwanted advice before heading back. The jerk is holding the gateways closed on Earth so that the Elders can't take a direct route to the mortal realm, but that blocks us from going home too.”

  Toto growled at her, and she sighed. “Fine whatever. He may have helped me understand when I was lost in the wicked evil of the magics of East and West.” She crossed her green eyes at Ver and said in a teasing tone, “The Dark Years.”

  The Munchkin smiled and said nothing as she ate.

  I smiled when in a flurry of wings and tittering silver bell voices, a cloud of fairies flew in. They fought over empty serving plates and brought more food. With a chiming of wings and a smile to us all, they flew off.

  The land of Oz was everything in the storybooks and more. Just when I thought I had seen everything, a flurry of fairies flies in to prove me wrong.

  While Dorothy watched them fly off, Toto stretched a paw toward a sausage patty on her plate. She slapped her paw and turned to her with a cocked eyebrow. Then she caved as she placed the sausage on the dog's plate and said, “Here.”

  Ella chuckled, and Dorothy pointed her fork at her. “You're one to laugh. I see how you dote over the fair Parker here.”

  I blushed, and Ella just exhaled sharply and started eating more vigorously. Then she stopped and growled almost like Toto as she pulled the red clown nose off her face.

  The witch looked positively amused as she looked down at her plate and feigned innocence as she ate. This war between them was not going to end well. My Ella can be pretty bullheaded at times.

  Antoinette was back picking up a fork as we all studiously looked away from her naked form as she speared a strawberry to eat. Vermillion wasn't as inhibited as us as she smiled widely at the display.

  Toni picked up the narrative. “Dot doesn't remember much after the Wicked Witch of the West came to learn the fate of her sister.”

  Dorothy countered, pointing her fork at her girl, “I remember she showed up in MY lands and tried to kill me... so I killed her right back. And it... felt good.” She had nothing but shame in her eyes at that admission.

  Toto reached over and laid a hand on hers. Dorothy took a deep breath and nodded once, and Toto continued, “The darkness consuming her soul, driving her to do unspeakable things had always been tempered by Dotty. No matter what she did, she never did any lasting harm to anyone. She was cruel to me at times, but I could see the pain in her eyes whenever she realized it.”

  Then she said wit
h conviction, “And you don't abandon someone you love when they are going through something, and being influenced by something, not of their doing.”

  Her voice trembled. “But when the corrupt power of two Cardinal witches pulsed through her brain, my convictions were tested as she seemed to take delight in teasing me. She still didn't do lasting damage to anyone, but she was the definition of wicked. But if anyone else, like demons, did something against the people of her lands which she terrorized, she would protect them... with deadly force.”

  “It was the first time the demons came that Oz showed up before the Witch of the West died. Dotty

  attacked him the instant she saw him. It was because of him that she wasn't herself anymore and that enraged her. But Frank wound up being more than a match for my girl.”

  She said in the faraway tone of a memory, “After a drawn-out fight, he restrained her with magic then apologized for her condition, saying, 'I know you can't see it now, but I have seen you coming for eons, you will be instrumental in saving not just the mortal realm, but Oz as well. It is you who will make a difference when the others are gathered to stand against the Elders in the mortal realm. You will be the one with the power of the Four Cardinal Points with magic that will almost rival my own.

  Where I am bound not to raise a finger against the Elders, you Dorothy Gale, are not.'”

  She shared that Baum had explained to them what was happening to Dorothy and what he has seen.

  The books he wrote in the mortal realm were an idealized fairytale he wishes was happening instead of the horrors that were to come. He had told Toto that she was the only one who could temper the darker urges Dorothy would be subjected to. Not telling them it would get worse before it got better.

  Worse, he hadn't explained that it would put the blood of three more witches on her hands before she could find a semblance of stability in her mind again.

  He did, however, share the reason the demons were about to attack that day. Toto said around a bite of strawberry, “He said that before he left Oz to find Dot in Kansas, the Elders had made a decision on Earth, that a reset was needed because the Scales couldn't maintain the balance. The way from their realm to the mortal realm is a long and twisting path that would take an inordinate amount of time to navigate.”

  She sat the butt of the strawberry down and said as Dorothy just kept eating, not wanting any part of the story, “But other realms touch both the mortal realm and the Elders'. They tried to march through Oz, but the Wizard was there to meet them. He denied them passage, and they were enraged.

  But unlike the Scales, Oz is not under their purview and they could not cross without permission.

  Baum slammed the doorway on them.”

  Dorothy muttered, “Nice to see he's a pain in the ass to others too.”

  Toto chuckled then looked at Ella and me. Vermillion seemed to be nodding like she knew the story, “Oz had foreseen this. And that the Elders could not claim umbrage, but they did somehow leave a parting gift for Baum's refusal. Frank saw that hell would open into Oz and Dorothy would stop it with the help of others from the mortal realm.”

  Dorothy finally shared, “He said that once the Elders were done with the mortal realm, he saw them extend their reach to all the realms not their own, feeling it was their right to lord over all. Too many eternities with too much power have corrupted the incorruptible. And that I was supposed to stand with the other titans to save all reality. Or some other fucked up shit like that.”

  I looked over at Toto, ready to avert my eyes from her exposed form, only to see the huge dog sitting there instead. She really wished to preserve every moment of humanity she could, didn't she?

  She looked expectantly at Ver then started lapping up orange juice from a saucer.

  Vermillion perked up and looked warily at Dorothy, who was busily cutting some bacon to pieces, a slight nod of her head made Ver relax a little and continue the story that seemed like it was common knowledge for all the people in Oz.

  The curly redhead shared in a hushed tone, “The demons came, long after the Wizard left us.

  Nobody knows where they come from or how they open gateways to our realm to corrupt our lands and people. The Good Cardinal Witches fought against them, but their power was not enough, the Munchkins rallied the others in the lands of the north and south. So many died those first years.

  She shrugged, “Then the Wicked came when the demons overstepped into their lands. But they would leave us to our own devices if their land was not effected.”

  Then she got a wicked gleam in her eyes. “But these demons who knew no boundaries didn't realize the folly of attacking a farm in the lands of the East after the Cardinal Witch there had been bested by a girl from the realm of Kansas. Dorothy came, and she brought her wrath.”

  She sat taller in her chair and said firmly, “With the rage of Dorthy of the Gale and might of Toto the lines were pushed back. Then the three witches closed the gateway.”

  Then she winced. “And another battle ensued when Dorothy turned her wicked gaze upon the white witches. They were just barely able to fight her back to flee to her own lands again.”

  Fenriss interjected, “Day after day the demonss came. And day after day for yearss they were sstopped at great cosst. The demonss could not create gatewayss from their location in hell, sso the gatewayss had to be created here. But not even Dorothy of Ozss can locate the one doing it.”

  Ver picked up the narrative. “It wasn't until the Witch of the West confronted and was vanquished by Dorothy that the tide turned. She was more powerful than any witch in the history of Oz, posessing the power of two Cardinal Points. But her taking on the evil for us came at a cost. It overwhelmed poor Dorothy, and she became the most Wicked of them all.”

  Dorothy was chewing with purpose, trying to ignore the story as Toto hopped off her chair and trotted to her side. Dorothy's hand automatically found her, fingers sinking into her girl's fur.

  Ver soldiered on, “The white witches of Oz had not believed the Wizards prophecy, but in those Dark Years, when Dorothy was taking more and more of all the lands of Oz because none could stand against her. They knew the Wizards words to be true that Dorothy would become a force to stop the demons, stand against the Elders, and save Oz.”

  She had a look of profound sadness on her face when she said, “The Cardinal Witches of the North

  and South confronted Dorothy and called her to battle. They knew what would happen, yet they did it for Oz. They enraged Dorothy the Wicked, and she struck them down. They had sacrificed themselves so that their power might give Dorothy of the Gale the balance she needed to become the savior that the great Wizard had foretold.”

  Dorothy spoke in a hoarse voice, “I found myself again. And I can't tell you the shame I felt for all I had done. The worst of it is that I remember how much I liked it when I was doing it, I was getting off on it. I will never be able to make up for all the evil I did. So I fight for Oz, and maybe one day I can pay my penance, then Toto and I can go home. I grow weary of fighting... two centuries of it and they still come. If only we could determine how these gateways are opening and who is doing it... then maybe we can go home.”

  I perked up at that, this was something we knew intimately. Ella offered, “Only an unbound demon can open a portal like that to bridge the two realms if one of your citizens isn't doing it. We've got first-hand experience in this. This means you got a demon hiding in Oz. Someone had to have summoned it then unbound it. Probably those Elder wankers. Since they can't raise a hand against Oz, but the demons sure can, they are exploiting a loophole.”

  Then she said in a condescending tone to the witch, “Don't worry your pretty little head about this.

  We got this shite. We'll hunt the tosser down and end him.”

  Dorothy actually chuckled at that. “How can you find something I have searched for in my lands for centuries? If I can't detect this demon you say is here, then how can you hope to? Their demon magic confounds me a
s I can't sense it, even when they are casting at me.”

  Oh god... I hung my head when Ella said brightly, “We brought us a black magic detector.”

  Dorothy blinked, and Toto looked up with wide eyes as the witch asked, “Where?”

  I gave a sheepish look as I raised a hand, then winced as I said, “That would be me. I'm sensitive to all kinds of magic, white magic, black magic, demon magic, and apparently the odd tasting magic you use here in Oz.”

  Dorothy muttered, “Fuck.”

  Ella-Marie asked, “What?”

  The woman looked equal parts pained and amused as she admitted, “Damn it, this means Baum's premonitions were right about others from the mortal realm helping me. I hate it when the smug bastard is right.”

  She stood, and we were all standing in what looked like a sitting room. I winced. “I hate it when you do that.” Toto barked in agreement.

  Dorothy asked carefully, “You can really sniff out this demon? Can we finally put an end to the

  daily attacks?”

  I scrunched my lips to the side. “I don't actually sniff things out. I mean, I can feel the pull the closer I get, and I can sort of taste and smell the... well crap, I guess I do sniff it out.”

  Dorothy gave a beaming and satisfied smile, the woman really was gorgeous, and I found myself wanting to know what she looked like before she took this idealized version of herself for her girl. I bet she was cute like Ella's real body.

  Then the witch asked as she winged a thumb toward Ella-Marie, “And what use is she then? I mean, the Marie girl, sure, but the brute?”

  Ella responded with, “Skank.”

  Dorothy parried, “Whore.”

  I muttered, “Hey, she's my whore... I mean, girlfriend. Stop baiting her, Dot.”

  Dorothy chuckled as Toto slammed into her leg, causing her to stumble. I noted she didn't take offense to me using Toto's nickname for her. I heard Marie chastising before Ella could go off.

  I said, “We'd be honored to help out. Even if I haven't sort of fallen in love with the people of Oz, it is still the right thing to do.”