by Dawn Brower
He had no idea what she went through. It’d been three weeks since her rescue. She’d had time to heal and gain a little weight on their passage from Italy to England.
“I’ve never felt better,” she retorted.
He studied her. “A little too thin, but yes definitely glowing and content.”
Noah knew her too. He’d notice that while she gained some weight, it had not been nearly enough. Her struggle to survive in order to make Paolo pay, it took everything inside her to get through it. She still had to make sure Paolo never hurt another soul again—soon he’d feel her wrath.
Another reason to let Noah go.
If Paolo believed she no longer wanted Noah, he’d leave her husband be. She had to protect him at all costs. Just because he moved on didn’t mean she had. Rubina would always love Noah.
“I don’t know. I think my figure is finally perfect.” She ran her hands down her waist. “My gowns have never fit so well.”
“You were perfect before.” He paused. “You still are.”
“Damian should be here soon with the divorce papers I had drawn up.” She had to distract him before she threw herself at her husband. She loved Noah so much. It hurt to hurt him. “You’ll sign them, yes?”
“I said no,” he shouted. “I will never divorce you. If you didn’t want me, you should have stayed dead.”
It was Rubina’s turn to flinch.
“I didn’t mean that how it sounded.”
“I’m sure you didn’t,” Rubina said softly.
Then Noah did the one thing she didn’t expect from him. He lifted her up and threw her over his shoulder. Then with quick, purposeful strides he carried her out of the church. The guests still sitting in their pews watching the show—like predators stalking their prey. The gossip mills would be rolling with the scene by the end of the day.
“Put me down.”
Liam called out, “I’ll take care of things here, Noah. Go take care of your wife.”
“I plan on it,” he replied.
CHAPTER THREE
Rubina was alive.
Noah still couldn’t wrap his head around it. She squirmed in his arms as he carried her out of the church. So full of life and energy and simply amazing. Having her with him had been his greatest wish, and now, by some miracle, it had been granted.
Let her go?
Not a chance in hell would he ever let her ago again. They might have a lot to work through, but suddenly he had a reason to fight. He’d fight anything and anyone—including Rubina herself—to have her with him again, forever.
“Noah, I said put me down.”
“And I believe I already told you no.”
He carried her all the way to his carriage. Noah opened the door and set her inside, climbing in after her. The carriage jerked forward as the driver flicked the reins, urging the horses to move. Rubina sat across from him, a mulish expression on her face.
She was so bloody lovely.
“Now, how about you start explaining to me where you’ve been for the past three years.”
Rubina stayed silent. Her eyes shot daggers at him. Fine. She wanted to give him the silent treatment. He could work with that for now. Noah knew his wife. It was next to impossible for her to not say a word for long.
“How about I tell you what I’ve been doing for the past three years instead.”
Nothing. She turned her head to look out the carriage window, attempting to ignore him. God, he loved her. He’d almost forgotten what it was like to have her around. She breathed life into him by just sharing the same space.
“When I heard your ship sank in a freak storm it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. I stayed drunk for days, weeks, hell, it might have been months.”
Her jaw clenched. Good, at least she was listening.
“If not for Liam, I might have drank myself into an early grave. He took to staying with me for weeks on end. He dumped out every ounce of alcohol remaining on my estate. Then, he waited for me to start living again.”
A small tear fell down her cheek. Noah took that as a good sign. If he kept talking, explaining, maybe she’d tell him what happened to her. Why she’d stayed gone for so long.
“You seem to be doing that rather well,” she replied.
Noah smiled. He knew she couldn’t stay silent.
“Looks can be rather deceiving. You know that.”
Her gray eyes grew stormy as she studied him. “I do. A wedding is generally a damn good indicator you’ve moved on.”
He had to find a way to make her understand why he’d decided to marry Pearla.
“Maybe on the outside looking in.”
“It matters not.” Rubina shook her head. “Once you sign the divorce papers we both can move on.”
“I’m not saying this again.” He glared at her. “There’s not a chance in hell you will ever obtain my signature on those papers. Even if you did, it would take a lot for parliament to agree to grant the divorce. I won’t even get into how much it would cost.”
“I’m not worried about the money. It will be worth it to be free. Pay whatever is necessary. Take it out of my dowry.” Rubina’s face was devoid of emotion. “Just make it happen.”
Why was she so eager to be free of him?
“Ruby, please, talk to me.”
He tried to remain calm. Noah learned that lesson the hard way. When they met, he was reckless and so much in love he couldn’t hold in his emotions for anything. They were all on the surface. His anger, love, frustrations—there was no reason to hold them back. Until one argument sent her fleeing away from him and he’d lost her. Now, she sat in front of him wanting to leave him again.
“There is nothing to discuss. Grant me the divorce I seek and we’ll never need to see each other again.”
“Is it really so bad to be with me?”
It hurt to ask, but he had to know. He still couldn’t believe she was alive. Had she hidden from him all these years? Did he frighten her?
“I can’t be around you.”
The words were like a knife to his heart.
“Why?”
Rubina pursed her lips and stared him in the eyes. “I told you. I no longer love you.”
Noah couldn’t—wouldn’t believe it. How could she have suddenly stopped loving him? Then he remembered, it hadn’t been sudden. She’d been gone for three years. Maybe she never loved him at all.
“So you want me to believe you love someone else.”
“Yes.” She nodded.
Another jab right into the pain mass he called his heart. How much more could he take?
“Did you ever love me?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I was a foolish young girl rushing into marriage. What young person truly knows what is in their heart or what love really is.”
Noah knew. He loved Rubina more than life. He still did.
Disgust filled him. He was such a bloody fool to keep holding on to her. She’d been his everything and, to her, he’d been nothing more than a passing fancy. Well, she’d made her bed, and she was bloody well going to lie in it.
“I will grant your divorce on one condition.”
She studied him and asked, “I thought you were against it.”
He had been. Noah didn’t want to believe she’d never loved him. He might be a fool, but even he could see through something if he looked at it long enough. Rubina didn’t want him. Fine. He’d let her go, but not before she gave him something in return.
“I’ve had a few moments to assess the situation, and I can see a way for this to be mutually beneficial to us both.”
She remained quiet for a few moments. “What are your conditions?”
“I will petition parliament for a divorce and pay all the hefty fees—out of my own pocket. I will even return the full amount of your dowry to you. You only have to agree to one small thing.”
“That’s a generous offer. What do I have to do in order for you to do all that?”
He smiled. Noah ha
d her reeled in right where he needed her to be. She was interested enough to ask questions. Now he just needed her to agree to his demands.
“Give me an heir.”
She gasped. “That’s preposterous. You were about to get married. Get your new bride to give you a son.”
“I was only marrying Pearla to have a child. I needed a wife for a legitimate heir.” He paused and gave her a wicked grin. “Since I still have a wife, I don’t see a reason to marry again. Spend a year with me. Bear my child, and only then will I do whatever is necessary to grant you your freedom.”
“No”
He shrugged. “Fine. Then be content on being my wife until we both pass on from this world.”
“Why are you being so difficult?”
Because he got his greatest wish. His one true love was alive. The only caveat was she appeared hate him. What was it people said? He should’ve been careful what he’d wished for because the reality was far from what he remembered. This was a cruel joke, but he intended to make the best of it. Liam had a point. It wasn’t fair to marry Pearla when he knew he could never love her. Rubina could give him the heir he needed, and he could let her go. It seemed to be what she really wanted. After all, she’d stayed away from him for three years, letting him believe she died. She must despise him to do something so horrible. She only surfaced to gain her freedom to marry another man.
“I like to see it as a win-win situation. You get what you want, and I do too.”
Life hardened him. Losing her destroyed him. She made him this way, and she would have to deal with those consequences. Earlier, he’d been drowning himself one final time in his own misery before his wedding. Now, he wondered why he’d bothered.
“You expect me to have a child. To leave and never see him again. What if it’s a girl?” She frowned. “What would you tell them about where I am?”
“I suppose you’d better hope we accomplish our goal the first time.” Noah shrugged. “As to where you were… I’d tell them you died.”
She gasped and held her hand against her heart. “Even though I’d still be alive?”
“You’re already dead to me, Rubina. Why should you be alive for our child?”
Harsh words, but Noah couldn’t help the disgust filling him. For a brief moment, he’d been happy when he saw her standing in the church. He’d thought God had finally listened to his prayers and gave him back his beloved. Then she’d sat across from him and ripped his heart out over and over again.
She never really loved him.
“What happened to you?” she asked, softly. “This is not the Noah I remember.”
“That man died when you did. It’s best you acclimate yourself to the person you created when you ran away from me and faked your own death.”
“I didn’t do that.”
“Run away from me or fake your own death?” He waved his hand. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter. You made your choice and now you must deal with the consequences. Do you agree to my terms?”
“I can’t abandon my own child.” Her gaze pleaded with him. “Please, don’t do this.”
“If you ever want to see your new love again, you will agree to my terms. Or have you already started to share his bed? You’re not already enceinte are you?” Noah glared at her. “I will not accept another man’s bastard. As long as you are with me, you will be with no one else.”
“I’ve not…” She gulped. “ I lied earlier. I’ve only ever been with you.”
He nodded. He wasn’t surprised she would attempt a turnabout. “I will take your word. Whatever it’s worth these days.”
“I’m telling you the truth.”
Noah wanted to believe her, but when his own wife didn’t want him, it was hard to believe a word she said. She purposely ripped his heart out and made him believe she died. Why say she loved another unless she really did? Was she that cruel? How could he ever trust her again?
“So, do we have an agreement?” he asked.
Rubina turned away from him and stared out the carriage window again. It came to a halt, forcing her forward. She landed in his lap. He picked her up and set her firmly in his arms. The scent of honeysuckle drifted in his nose. His wife smelled exactly as he remembered her. He held back the urge to do what he needed. Noah desperately wanted to kiss her and feel her squirm with desire in his arms.
Rubina’s eyes met his. Then, he just knew she’d had the same thoughts he did. His wife was not as unaffected by him as she let him believe. She may claim to love another man, but she still desired him. It was something he could work with. Maybe it could be enough to convince her to give in to his demands.
He pulled her close enough so their breaths mingled together. His hand cupped her breasts and rubbed his palm across it. Her nipples pebbled with the movement. Noah smiled wickedly. Before she could object, he captured her lips with his own. She gasped, giving him the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Her hands flew to his head grasping his hair and pulling him closer. Passion ignited between them, and Noah couldn’t get close enough to her. Heat burned through him, and he felt himself harden beneath her.
Oh yes, his wife still wanted him.
He pulled back and looked at her swollen lips. Her eyes were pools of silver and her breathing ragged. Noah had done that to her. Made her forget the other man she claimed to love.
He flashed her a cocky grin. “I take that as a yes?”
Rubina nodded. “Fine. You win. One year.” She started to pullback. “And then I will be gone.”
“Not so fast, dear.” He yanked her back into his arms. “I’m not letting you go so easily. We need to seal this deal once and for all in the only place we can.”
“Where’s that?” she asked.
He pushed the carriage door open and stepped out in front of his townhouse, not once letting go of her.
“In my bedroom, of course.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Noah set Rubina down just in front of the door step but held on to her hand. It took every ounce of her self control to not yank it free and run. This plan of hers was not going at all how she had envisioned it. He was supposed to be disgusted and willingly give her a divorce. Her husband needed to do whatever it took to distance himself from her.
Now that she wasn’t lost in his kiss, she was able to see reason once again. She couldn’t stay with him and give him a child. If she did—she’d never leave. In truth, she never wanted to leave him. Until Paolo was taken care of, Noah would not be safe. The man had an unnatural obsession with her. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind he’d murder Noah in truth at the first opportunity. Paolo had to believe Noah didn’t want her and that she’d moved on to someone else.
“Noah.” Rubina set her free hand on his chest and looked up at him. “This isn’t a good idea.”
He glared down at her. His chocolate brown eyes filled with anger. “Too late. You’ve already agreed.”
He pushed open the door and led her inside their home. It was exactly as she’d remembered it. Noah must not have changed a thing. A lump of emotion welled up inside of her. If only things were different…
“Your Grace…” Simmons stopped short and looked between the two of them. It took a lot to ruffle the proper butler and the return of the duke’s wife was a good excuse if ever there was one. He recovered quickly and bowed before them both. “Welcome home.”
“Hello, Simmons,” Rubina greeted him. “I assume my chamber is prepared.”
Simmons blinked, but showed no outward emotion. “Of course, Your Grace.”
He didn’t mention it had been prepared for a new duchess. That would have been unseemly. Rubina didn’t care though. It gave her an avenue for escape. Noah wanted too much from her. Another time and another place she’d have willingly given it to him.
“Excellent. It’s been a long day. I think I’ll rest for a while. Could you have something light sent up to me? I don’t much feel like company.”
“I’ll let one of the maids know.” He nodded and headed do
wn the hall.
Rubina walked toward the stairs, but was jerked back suddenly by Noah.
“Not so fast, dear.” A wicked smile greeted her.
“We can talk later.” Rubina stared into his eyes. “We have plenty of time to get reacquainted.”
He nodded. “You’re right.”
Relief flooded through her. Maybe he was starting to rethink his demands. Rubina certainly hoped so. She didn’t know if she could leave if she spent even one second in her husband’s bed. This would give her the time necessary to escape.
“I’m glad you’re finally being reasonable.”
“Reason has nothing to do with my decision. There are a few matters I need to take care of. We will continue where we left off.”
Rubina bit her lip. Part of her was irritated he was running off. This was what she wanted though. Right? In order to keep Noah safe.
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine on my own.”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I didn’t intend to. You, my dear, can get by where others fear to tread. I have no doubt you’ll come out of anything completely intact.”
That hurt. A lot. But Rubina wasn’t going to let him know how wrong he was. She was not the same woman he married years ago. She’d been to hell and back. There might not be any physical scars, but the ones deep inside flared up with pain at the slightest provocation.
“That’s correct. I’m a survivor. I won’t make any apologies for it.”
And she wouldn’t. She made it to the other side to invoke her revenge. Rubina was patient, and her tormentor would know true pain when she was done with him.
“I didn’t ask you to.” He raised an eyebrow as he stared down at her. “A little touchy aren’t you?”
Damn it. She’d not wanted to give him a reason to question her.
“Not at all. Just reminding you of who I am now.”
The muscles in his jaw clenched at her words. “There’s not any chance of that happening. Trust me I will never forget how little you care for me. It’s a life lesson I didn’t think I’d ever live through.”