by Dawn Brower
“I’m glad we understand each other.”
“Oh, I am all too aware of who you are. A part of me wonders if I never fully saw you. Did you pretend to love me? Was the idea of being a duchess such a grand idea that you pretended to be someone you’re not?”
“I never pretended with you.”
At least not then. Now, she’d be whoever he needed her to be. As long as it made him send her in the opposite direction. Loving Noah was her greatest joy and her deepest fear. If she’d not caught the attention of a mad man everything would be so different. Perhaps she’d have a child already and they’d still be so blissfully happy. Unfortunately, wishing didn’t make it so. They were very far from ever having that again. It had all been ruined by her impetuous decision to flee to Italy to visit her family. She couldn’t take back that decision, as much as she’d like to. The life she’d begun with Noah wasn’t to be. Soon he’d be free to marry the young woman he’d been set to marry. With her, he could have the family he desired. She’d see it happen.
“I don’t believe you.”
Rubina wanted to defend herself, but she couldn’t. This was good. He doubted her, and that would make it easier for him to set her aside. To grant her divorce, setting them both free. She could pursue Paolo with a clear conscience knowing Noah was safe.
“It matters not. The past is where it belongs. It’s best not to rehash something that cannot be changed.”
“Truer words have never been spoken.” He glared at her. “Don’t leave this house, Rubina. I will find you, and you’ll not like it when I do.”
He spun on his heels and headed in the opposite direction of her. She’d landed a blow to his pride. Noah had always had an abundant amount, and now Rubina had wounded it. It was for the best. She couldn’t let him love her anymore. Even if she would always love him.
Rubina sighed. She had to get out of the house and away from Noah despite his warning. Coming home with him had been a huge mistake. It was something she should not have allowed to happen. Paolo had spies everywhere. If he knew she’d become reacquainted with her husband, he could already be making plans to kill him.
She headed to the front door and pulled it open wide. Standing with her hand in mid-knock was the brazen red-head from the wedding.
“Oh, pardon me. I was about to…”
“Knock on the door?” Rubina raised an eyebrow. “That was obvious. How can I help you?”
Her eyebrows scrunched up in puzzlement. “Why were you answering the door? Where’s Simmons?”
Rubina glared down at her. Insipid creature. Why did she feel she had a right to question her? What was her involvement with her husband? “This is my home.”
“Could have fooled me.” She pushed her way inside. “Seeing as you left it several years ago without a second thought.”
Rubina saw red. She did not like this woman.
“You have no idea what I’ve been through.”
“Right. I don’t know if I care either.” She waved her hand dismissively. “I didn’t come here to see you regardless. I need to talk to Noah.”
She was on a first name basis with her husband? Rubina didn’t like that one bit. The jealousy bug hit her hard. When she saw him ready to marry the blonde she’d dismissed it. She didn’t realize it until that moment, but he seemed—detached during the ceremony. This woman seemed different somehow.
“He’s busy.”
“Oh?” She studied Rubina. “With what?”
“Business, I presume.”
It killed her to admit that. She had no idea what Noah was taking care of.
“I find it rather odd that his wife comes back from the dead, and he’s abandoned her to take care of business.”
If it had been a true reunion Noah wouldn’t have left her for any reason. She’d goaded him until he’d stormed off. Rubina wouldn’t let this woman know that.
“I’m sure it has something to do with dissolving the wedding that didn’t happen. Since I’m alive and well, he can’t very well wed another woman.”
She nodded. “That’s why I’m here actually. Is he in his study?”
The odious woman started to head toward Noah’s study. Rubina couldn’t let her disturb him. She’d finally got him to leave her in peace. Escape would become rather impossible if he came back out. This intruder had to leave—and soon. Otherwise, she’d have a hard time meeting up with Damian. They had a rendezvous point, and it would soon be well past their scheduled time.
“He doesn’t want to be disturbed.” Rubina grabbed her arm to stop her. “Maybe if you came back at another time.”
She shook her head. “No, this can’t wait.”
“Listen…” What was her name anyway. They’d said at the church. Oh hell, it didn’t matter. She needed to leave.
“Gemma, or Lady Marsden for you. I don’t know that we’ll be close enough to use first names.”
“Fine, you can address me as Your Grace.”
An evil smile formed on Gemma’s face. “That’s fine, Your Grace. Now get your bloody hand off of me so I can go talk to Noah.”
“I can’t do that, Lady Marsden.” She clenched her teeth together.
Gemma brought her hand up on top of Rubina’s and threaded her fingers into her. While she smiled sweetly, she yanked Rubina’s hand back and twisted her wrist.
“Ouch! Was that really necessary?”
“I don’t like to have anyone touching me that I didn’t invite to do so.”
Rubina glared. “You could have asked me to let go.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Would you have?”
Probably not, but she didn’t know that.
“I’m starting to see why Liam was drawn to you.”
“Thanks.” She frowned. “I think.”
“It wasn’t a compliment.”
Rubina never did understand why Noah and Liam remained such good friends. They came from different worlds. Yes, they were both sons of noblemen, but Noah lived a life of isolation where Liam was encased in a loving family. Both were strong, reliable, and stubborn. Rubina believed that was why her husband was drawn to Liam’s family. Being around them helped him get over the losses he had been dealt as a boy. They gave him something he craved. Liam helped him in so many ways.
He kept to himself and didn’t encourage social interactions. Liam thrived and floated through society, not giving it a care. It came much easier for him. His wife was full of fire and life—a perfect fit for Liam. Rubina wished she’d been around to see their courtship. It must have been fascinating to watch. In another lifetime, maybe they could have been friends. She had a new respect for the woman.
“I will choose to take it as one regardless.”
“What is going on here?”
Rubina gazed up into Noah’s eyes. “We have a visitor.”
“I can see that.” He frowned. “Why are you here, Gemma?”
She smiled, reassuringly. “Do you have a moment to talk?” She looked over at Rubina. “In private?”
He nodded. “I always have time for you. Please come to my study.”
Noah held his hand out, gesturing the way, letting Gemma walk before him.
He turned to head back in the direction he’d just come from. Noah stopped and pivoted toward Rubina. “Remember what I said earlier.” His voice was harsh. “Don’t make me come find you.”
Gemma stopped and stared between them. She shook her head. Sadness filled her lovely green eyes.
Ruby didn’t want her pity.
“Go. Have your visit.” She smiled sweetly. “When you’re done, by all means, please come find me. I promise you it will be something you’ll never forget.”
Instead of waiting for his reply, she went up the stairs with every ounce of pride she owned flowing through her. She held her head high and took each step with the poise and grace of a princess on her way to greet her subjects. No one would ever pity Rubina.
From the moment she got free until she’d made herself a promise, never again would she be a victim.
She’d die a thousand deaths before she let anyone see her as weak again.
Especially Noah and Gemma Marsden.
Nothing would get her to admit how much it hurt to watch her husband dismiss her so easily. He barely gave her a second thought. Everything should have been so different. A tear traveled down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away. There wasn’t time to give into the pain. This was the plan. It had to be this way.
Noah, the only man she would ever love, must always come first.
Only then would revenge be hers.
CHAPTER FIVE
Noah followed Gemma into his study. He held out a chair for her and then sat behind his desk.
“What can I do for you?”
Gemma took a deep breath and studied him in silence for several seconds. “First, tell me how you’re doing.”
How did he answer that question? His wife was alive. Something he’d dreamed of happening but never dared wish for. Good thing he hadn’t because it was less than ideal.
“Did Liam send you over to check on me?”
Gemma shook her head. “No, of course not…I mean, not that he isn’t probably concerned, but I haven’t spoken to him since I left the church with Pearla.”
“I see.”
Noah stared off in space. The church—what a disaster that turned out to be. When he turned to see Rubina walking down the aisle… He stopped breathing for a second, sure he’d been seeing some apparition sent to play tricks on him. Then reality came crashing in, and it was all too real. Rubina was not only alive, but she claimed to no longer love him.
“Don’t think I didn’t notice how you failed to answer my question.” Gemma smiled. “Nice try, but I’m not leaving until I am sure you’re doing all right.”
Noah sighed. “How do you think I’m doing?”
She raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t presume to know. But if I were forced to guess, I’d say you’re not doing well at all. Something isn’t right because I’d have thought you’d be ecstatic to have your wife back.”
“Under normal circumstances I would be.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Let’s be honest, nothing is normal about this situation. I can’t make sense of any of it.”
Gemma nodded. “I expect that is the only thing normal about this situation.”
“I need a drink.”
Noah stood and grabbed the nearly empty brandy decanter near his desk. That’s right. He’d drank quite a bit of it in the morning before his wedding. Drinking hadn’t helped that situation any more than it would help the one he currently found himself in. There was nothing that would help it.
Rubina was alive.
Maybe if he said it enough he’d truly believe it. The problem was she wasn’t anything like he remembered. Oh, she was still as beautiful as the day he met her, but her eyes told a different story. She was harder and less forgiving. The loving woman he married didn’t look back at him. Instead, a stranger had taken her place.
He set the decanter back down, rethinking his idea for a drink.
“Good choice,” Gemma said.
“I feel like my whole world tipped upside down in the matter of minutes.”
“Because it has.”
“Drinking isn’t going to make that right.” He shook his head. “It will probably make it inherently worse.”
She nodded. “Probably a good assumption.”
Noah jerked his head around and asked, “How is Pearla doing?”
Gemma sighed. “That’s why I’m here. She asked me to return this to you.”
She set a ring down on his desk. It was an alabaster pearl flanked by brilliant diamonds. He’d purchased it for her specifically.
“No. I meant that for her. Give it back.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
“Why the hell not?”
Noah clenched his fists at his side as anger seized his heart. Why couldn’t anything go right in his life? Ever since his parents died, his whole existence was nothing but loneliness. If not for Liam and his family, he’d probably never go out and socialize. Everyone left him eventually. He felt…unlovable.
“Pearl has decided she can’t stay in England.” Gemma frowned. “She believes the stigma of what happened at the church makes her…undesirable.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Noah glared at Gemma. “It’s not her fault my wife pretended to be dead for years.”
She cleared her throat. “She said to tell you she doesn’t blame you for any of it. If you’d known Rubina was alive, you’d never have put her in that situation.”
“Of course not. I’d have hunted her down and brought her home.”
At least long enough to obtain his heir. Which he fully intended to get from her before she disappeared again. She may not love him anymore, but she owed him.
“Yes. As I was saying, she thinks you are very honorable and deserve far more than what’s been dealt you.” She took a breath. “Which is why she can’t keep the ring. She says it’s not fair to keep a token of your affection when she knows you are very much in love with your wife. She doesn’t want anything to remind her of what could have been.”
Noah’s eyes whipped upward. As he stared into Gemma’s, he asked, “Come again?”
“She believed herself to be in love with you. This wasn’t a business deal for her.”
Noah scrubbed his hands over his face. Could this day get any worse? He’d thought she knew—understood—he was incapable of loving anyone else. Rubina took it all with her when she died—no, she still had it. She may be a deceptive witch, but he still loved the illusion.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know…”
“Don’t feel guilty. She wouldn’t want you to.” Gemma reached across the desk and placed her hand on his arm. “It was her choice. One she thought she could live with. Now it’s time for her to accept a different path. Just as you must. Your wife is alive and upstairs waiting to start your lives together again.”
“No, she isn’t.” Noah frowned. “She can’t wait to be rid of me.”
“No? Why would she come back if she doesn’t want to be with you? There must be some other explanation. I don’t believe for a minute she doesn’t still love you.”
“You’re wrong.” Noah swept his arms across his desk, knocking everything to the floor. The brandy glass from earlier shattered on impact. “She wants a divorce. Ruby stated her wishes clearly before the entire guest list at my failed wedding.”
He stood and started to pace. Noah turned to look at her and stopped in place.
Gemma’s face had lost all color.
From the look on her face, he’d frightened her. He’d make it up to her later. When he got his feelings under control.
“There must be some mistake,” Gemma said.
Noah’s hand shook as he covered his face. That’s what he kept telling himself. It was all a grievous mistake. Rubina didn’t love him anymore. He’d heard wrong. It was all some bizarre nightmare he’d wake up from at any moment.
“I’m afraid not.”
“I don’t understand.”
He shook his head and fought tears. Men didn’t cry. Noah wanted to give in, but he wouldn’t, not with Gemma still in the room. “That makes two of us.”
“Why is she still here if she wants a divorce?”
A bark of laughter escaped his mouth. “Because I made a deal with her.”
Gemma stood up and approached him. “What did you do?”
He’d bargained with one of the devil’s servants. It was the only thing he could think to do when she’d cornered him with her insane request. There was no way parliament was going to grant him a divorce. No matter how much he paid them to get out of it. There was only way to end a marriage—one of them had to die.
They were stuck together whether she liked it or not.
“I agreed to her terms if she agreed to mine.”
“What did you ask for?”
Noah looked down at her and replied, “I asked for a child.”
�
�Oh, Noah.”
Sadness filled her eyes. He didn’t like the way she was staring at him. Gemma meant well, but she didn’t know what it was like to live inside his skin. To know love and then have it ripped from him—nothing hurt more than that. Even though both his parents died while he was a child, this was so much more painful. His heart was ripped to shreds with no hope of being repaired.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“I’m sorry.”
He frowned. “What for? You didn’t do it. You’ve always been a good friend to me. Without you and Liam I’d be alone.”
At least he wouldn’t inflict himself upon Pearla. She may think she loved him, but in time, she’d probably get over that. She escaped a bad fate by escaping marriage to him. He was a bad bet.
“You’re a good friend too. Don’t sell yourself short.” She stepped up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him. Her head lay upon his chest. “Rubina doesn’t know what she’s missing by not staying with you forever. It’s her loss, not yours.”
“Then why does it feel like I’ve lost a piece of myself?” He wrapped his arms around her, returning the hug. “Everything I thought was up is down and vice versa.”
She took a step back. A lone tear fell down her cheek. He reached up and wiped it away. “It won’t always be that way. One day you’ll wake up and realize you’re going to be just fine. The ache that takes over your heart won’t be quite as painful and breathing will come a little easier. It only feels so devastating because it’s all fresh and new.”
“How do you know?”
“I was you once. When I first told Liam I loved him he practically ran in the other direction. It wasn’t a grand love story like you and Rubina—but it was very real to me. It took a while for me to move on with my life. It helps to have something else to focus on.”
He shook his head. “Liam was an ass.”
She smiled. “He was then, yes. And he certainly can be still, but I love him regardless.”
Noah nodded. “He’s lucky.”
“Rubina is too.” She placed a hand on his arm. “She will realize it eventually. I’m sure she has reasons for what she’s doing.”
“She does. She claims to love another and wants to be free to be with them.”