by Rita Hestand
"This being your first time and all, do you want a wedding or..."
"No..." she protested vehemently. She stood up from the table and paced a little, trying to find something to busy herself with. She was more than a little uncomfortable with this conversation and he wished he hadn't started it. But he had. "I'd say a quick Justice of the Peace should do just fine, how about you?"
Justice of the Peace, his mind yelled back at him! Dang it! He didn't like it. Now that he thought of it. Not one Travers had ever been married by anything less than a full-fledged preacher and he suddenly felt cheated. A judge just wasn't the same. It seemed unholy. It seemed sacrilegious. Didn't she want a wedding, with her neighbors around, and a pretty white dress?
Then something hit him that made his insides hot. Was she a virgin? From the looks of her, he'd guess she was. What man would court her, looking like she did? Not so much her, but the clothes. A cold approach to their wedding was so unexpected, he wasn't so sure. Maybe she wasn't. Maybe she was ...
He had to stop thinking about things like that. Where had it come from? Jennifer was the only girl he'd ever cared about that way and he wasn't about to go thinking about Hannah romantically.
She'd set the rules, he'd abide.
"I'd prefer a preacher." he heard himself say. He could have ripped his own tongue out. What had gotten into him? She was completely right about this, very practical, a just what he should be appreciating about her. But he wasn't. So what had gotten into him?
"A preacher?" she said indignantly, as she leaned against the counter, folding her arms over her breast, a frown lining her face.
She stammered, and stuttered and flounced about the room like a wild animal one minute, then would stop and stare at him the next. "Next thing you know, you'll want a full-fledged wedding."
"Something wrong with that?" He heard himself ask. "We've got to be believed. Even though this is a marriage in name only, we've got to convince the community we are in love and want this marriage. Hannah quit thinking of this as some kind of trap. This is business. This ranch isn't going to save itself. You are going to have to turn a profit to stand on your feet. I'm going to help you do just that. But it will take time and lots of hard work."
"I'm not afraid of hard work. But it's a little hard to separate business and marriage though." she gasped. "You can't be serious. Where in the world did love come from, this has nothing to do with love. You're here to help me save this ranch, and that's all you're here for, got it? And if you think we can fool everyone, you're crazy. I've lived here all my life. People know me."
"I got it. But I damned sure am, serious." He fired right back at her. "That banker gets the idea that I'm here today and gone tomorrow, you won't get that credit, no matter what. We can't just get married one day and annul it the next. He's no dummy. It's all a game, Hannah. You have to play the game if you want the credit. They have to think of us as an outstanding couple in the community, someone that's gonna be here tomorrow. If he suspicions I'm just here to get that loan for you and won't be sticking around, he won't give it to us. He'll still consider you a risk. If he sees that I'm half owner he's gonna respect that and expect me to be here to see it is taken care of. Which is only right."
"I don't care what he thinks, what anyone thinks. Once you put the stock up, how can they possibly refuse us the loan?"
"They won't refuse it. That's not the entire picture Hannah. Getting the loan is the first step, but it doesn't solve all the problems. Even with a new loan, the money has to be paid on time. Whether there's a drought and we lose cattle, whether we get sick and can't take care of the place. All kinds of things happen. That's why I'm here. You aren't gonna lose this place if I can help it. The odds are better if two of us are running things around here. You've got good hands Hannah, but they don't run the place. There isn't a one of them that is a leader. Not even good ole Burt."
"Well...maybe..."
"And oh yes you do care. You don't want a wedding because it isn't gonna be a real marriage. That means you do care. And you want that loan approved, more than anything I'm guessing or you wouldn't be agreeing to this...wedding."
She stared at him in disbelief, as though he had two heads. As though what he said made her angry. Why was she angry? Most girls would insist on a wedding. What was wrong with her? Especially if she'd never...
There he went again, thinking about things he shouldn't be thinking about.
"We aren't in love and no one's going to believe we are—"
"Don't be so sure. All brides are bashful...at first. Naturally, I can't just marry you. That would be too obvious. I can't just pop up out of nowhere, and get the loan taken care of. We have to do this right. So we'll allow some time, for a courtship. We told the banker we were engaged. That's enough for now. But we'll be married before the fifteenth of next month and we'll get that credit. You wait and see. People will say, 'There goes Hannah's man.'"
"What are you talking about...courtship?"
"A courtship."
She looked at him dumbfounded then broke out in a laugh. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." "No—it isn't. Clint courted Abby right back into his life. Besides, it makes sense. I can't just pop up out of nowhere and suddenly claim you. Everyone would wonder where I came from and when I was leaving. We need to give it time. I got the time if you do. We have to do this right Hannah or there's no use doing it at all. That banker wants collateral. I've got it. Even though you don't cotton to marrying me, if I do, I'll have a greater interest in the ranch myself. I'll have more of a reason to make sure those payments are made on time…"
"Well I don't have time for games. And who is Clint and Abby?"
"We've got to take this seriously if we want others to believe us. And Clint is my brother, one of them. Abby was our neighbor. Now she's Clint's wife. Look, I know you don't particularly cotton to me, but we've got to convince some of the people around here that we're in love and gonna get married. That way, they won't suspect it's a ploy to obtain the loan. And when the time comes, you can just say I left you for another woman."
"Left me for another woman?" She reeled on him now, as though that were an important issue. Now he'd set her off, and he didn't have any idea what he'd said to do it.
"Sounds reasonable to me." He defended.
"Well it doesn't to me. Everyone would be feeling sorry for me, pitying me. No—no way. You forget, I have to live here after you are gone. I won't have it."
"Okay, then maybe it'll be the other way around." He smiled at her.
She glared at him. "What other way around?" "You'll throw me out, for—good, old, Burt."
"For good old Burt?" Her expression grew puzzled, and then she frowned at him again.
"Well, I assumed you were sorta—sweet on the fella." He began, not knowing where this would take him and wishing he hadn't started this particular conversation.
"I'm not sweet on anyone! Good grief Burt's old enough to be my father..." She practically barked at him.
He smiled to himself, at least she saw that much. "And that won't work either. Everyone would hate me, and think me an adulteress. I won't have it! I just won't have it. It's easy for you. You won't have to live here afterwards." Her lips thinned with anger.
"Well, you got any better ideas?" His curt tone lashed at her.
Hannah was silent again for a moment. Then as tough it finally occurred to her she nodded. "We just say it didn't work out. We got two ranches, you wanted to go home, I didn't want to go with you, and leave them to draw their own conclusions. We could call it a separation at first, then as time goes on a divorce."
The word divorce hung in Rusty's crawl. He didn't like the sound of that cold, and unfeeling word.
"Okay...sounds reasonable." He amended not wanting to rile her any further. It was getting them nowhere to fight over something that would mean absolutely nothing to her anyway.
She stared at him hard and long, and then something gave within her, as though she had made her
mind up to co-operate to some degree.
"Okay, I'll go along with the wedding, against my better judgment. I'll even go along with the preacher. But that's all the bending I'm gonna do." She flushed miserably, as though it pained her to give in.
"Fair enough," Rusty said letting out a long audible breath then he stood up from the table. He liked the fact that she had sense enough to know when to stop fighting. "Now, let's get these dishes washed."
She looked at him queerly. "You wash dishes?" "Yes ma'am. I was taught to clean up after myself."
He answered with a smile and a wink.
*****
Hannah scrubbed each dish a long time. She needed this time to sort out what she'd agreed to.
Why had she let him woo her into a wedding? Probably because he had used a cool impersonal tone in his voice, and complete detachment. But still, a wedding meant dressing up and acting as though she cared about this cowboy. No one that knew her would believe it for a minute. Would they? Of course she hadn't been close to any of her neighbors for years now and they really didn't know her as well as she made him believe.
Her courage and determination to keep this ranch had brought her to this!
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and fretted. He was too handsome, too sure of himself. Normally she wouldn't like this kind of man. But he did have a few redeeming qualities that she couldn't dismiss. He demanded respect, he was a gentleman, and he seemed to share her love of animals, and he was a helluva cowboy. She couldn't fault him for any of these things. Still, she couldn't weaken around him either. He'd hurt her, break her heart and she knew it.
She had to keep herself in check at all times around Rusty Travers, he was simply too dangerous to her heart. She'd already set the rules, she had to abide by them.
When the dishes were done, they went to check on the dog. He seemed to be resting comfortably. He whined when Hannah scratched behind his ears, and licked her hands. Despite her hard reserve, her heart seemed to turn to mush around this little mutt.
Walking back to the ranch house Rusty put his arm around her and they chatted in a very friendly way. If he'd been the least bit flirty, she probably would have moved away, but he kept it casual and friendly.
"What should we call him?" Rusty asked.
"Who?"
"The dog."
"Oh...I don't know. You pick a name, it's your dog." "Okay, how about Jugs."
"Jugs?" She looked at him with a slight frown. "You don't like it?"
"I was thinking about Pepper. You know, he's got those black spots all over him."
"Pepper...okay, Pepper it is."
That settled, it seemed they might be getting along until he mentioned the date.
"Date?"
"Little darlin'," he stopped, stared down into her frowning face and smiled. "We have to figure out when we're going to tie the knot. It'll be one of those whirlwind courtships. Just let me handle this part of it, okay. We'll have dinner in town a couple of times, so people see us together. We might even take in a Sunday service or two. And I'd say the sooner the better wouldn't you?"
No, she wouldn't. She wasn't sure she made the right decision and she wanted to back out. How had he gotten control of the whole event? But she knew she was in trouble, especially when he smiled at her. It did strange things to her insides. Things she didn't want to deal with or acknowledge.
"My name is Hannah," she said huskily.
"I know." He answered just as huskily as they stood on the porch facing one another. All kidding aside, the air thickened with a new tension. How had they turned a perfectly normal conversation into this new friction between them. The air sizzled. Crackled even!
"Not Little Darlin'." she said almost breathlessly, forcing herself to think about anything but being close to this man. It was impossible. Why did the air seem so full of him.
His glance slid to her mouth.
Her palms began to sweat. It wasn't going to happen. It couldn't...but—
"Humor me, engaged couples often call each other pet names. I wouldn't be offended if you called me something sweet." His mouth twitched.
"I'd like to call you something, but it wouldn't be sweet," she murmured.
"Now Little Darlin', we can't fight all the time." He was inches from her now.
Damn him for smiling. Didn't he know he was a charmer when he smiled. She didn't want to be charmed. Especially by a cowboy that was going to be leaving soon.
"It kinda fits," he said coming closer and bending slightly to see into her face.
Their eyes met and locked. His glance was gentle and contemplative. Her world seemed to rock on its heels. As though someone had punched her in the stomach and told her not to breathe.
"I'm not your Little Darlin'. Your anything. Do you understand?" Why did her voice falter, and almost hitch when she looked into those all seeing blue eyes?
She was nearly nose to nose with him now. Too close, her heart warned. The air seemed to expel between them. Heat radiated like a brilliant sun shining between them. Yet the moonlight twinkled in his gaze.
It was in that briefest of moments, when he sighed with such exasperation just before he brought her closer and kissed her softly on the mouth. As though he really didn't plan on doing it, thought better of it, but couldn't quite prevent it.
She gasped as he pulled away and her intentional dismay turned to mush when he covered her mouth fully with his own. Again!
And to her own embarrassment, she wrapped her arms around his neck and hung on for the ride.
She was astounded at his mastery of the kiss. She was drowning, she was sure of it. Being pulled purposely under by some force greater than her own will. Never had her senses been shattered by a mere kiss.
Playing with fire, that's what she was doing. Not water, fire, she repeated in her head. Tiny sparks of wildfire shot through her as he deepened the kiss and she mindlessly pulled him closer and added her own fuel to the fire. Her mind ordered her to struggle, but he made her forget that order .He made her squash it in the back of her mind, stow it for later. He made her swoon instead. He made her come alive, like a lifeless puppet suddenly brought to awe-stirring life. He awakened the hunger for love she had long ago stifled. And made her want more, so much more.
She'd been kissed before; her mind swam in a hopeless, mindless swirl—but never so thoroughly. Never as though her lips belonged to his. It seemed oddly as though when he touched her, she had been branded. A Travers brand. She had no will, no good sense...
A coyote howled in the distance and he slowly pulled away. His eyes sparkled in the moonlight. "Yeah," his voice was like a whisper. "I think Little Darlin' fits just fine."
She was sure she was red to the toes, but thankfully he couldn't see that. To think she had returned his kiss so blatantly!
She needed to say something, anything, but her voice escaped her for the moment.
He smiled. "Night, Little Darlin'."
*****
So the little ice maiden wasn't so icy after all? That kiss had floored him. He wasn't prepared to deal with its effects. Not just yet anyway. And certainly not with her!
What was wrong with him? He'd been in love with Jennifer so long, and now in a matter of days he was being pulled into some sort of magnetism he couldn't understand, with a woman he certainly couldn't read.
But for some reason he felt merry and light hearted and wanted to run and shout. Instead he whistled an old Spanish tune he'd heard in the bunkhouse a time or two. His heart suddenly knew something his head wasn't reading.
He had to admit, she puzzled him. She looked like a little clown in those baggy clothes. She acted like a horse's ass most of the time. But the woman could definitely kiss!
And better than Jennifer too!
Chapter Five
The first date went reasonably easy, Hannah reflected as she combed her hair and then crammed the hat on her head. Dear God who would have ever thought she'd be dating a man these days. But then, it wasn't for re
al, so maybe it didn't count, she reasoned.
Rusty had taken her into Pecos, the nearest town, to the best little restaurant and ordered steaks. The waitress was surprised to see her and seemed anxious to get to know Rusty too. Curiosity always lurked in small towns. But Hannah hadn't given it that much thought. Even though she'd graduated here in Pecos, she hadn't been a regular visitor to town in years.
She'd donned a pair of new Levi's, and a pink sweater that was anything but revealing. She wore her hair down and without the hat, and Rusty seemed surprised and pleased.
She hadn't worn tight jeans like most women her age. Her wardrobe was overly modest and she preferred to keep it that way. She knew from working Vegas that the more a girl advertised the more the men took the bait, and she didn't want any more kisses from Rusty. At least that's what she told herself a dozen times a day. So why was her brain fastened on that kiss on the porch. Why couldn't she get it off her mind? And exactly how would she manage to avoid them since he seemed determined to convince the entire population of Texas that they were in love.
During dinner he'd talked about his place. From the way he spoke of his family, she knew he was close to them and it hit home hard. She wanted to be close to her brother Jimmy too, but it was miles that separated them, and his life was a busy one too, now that he had a practice.
Rusty was more than eager to meet her friends and introduce himself as her "man". The thought seemed silly. Her "man". She could just hear her friends now, "Hannah has a man."
She didn't need a man. Since Vic Trusdale had been caught in her girlfriend's bed, she had quickly decided that men were a commodity she could do without. How she had ever let herself in for such a fall she didn't know. But she vowed to never let it happen again. No man would make an idiot out of her again.
She hadn't analyzed how she felt about Vic lately, but at the time she was sure she had loved him. A sucker, that's what she had been. Well, no more.