Love you to Death

by Shannon K. Butcher

  “Wow. I had no idea miniature golfing was so dangerous.”

  She smiled a little and it made his heart lift to have been able to make it happen. “Needless to say, I didn’t date a lot. Or at all. At least not until college.”

  “Were you the kid who sat in her room studying all the time because you were too afraid to come out, or were you the one getting wasted at parties because it was the first time you’d been able to spread your wings?”

  “Neither. I lived at home, but there were a couple of really hot study groups I belonged to. The fact that there were guys there made it as close to a real date as I’d ever gotten.”

  “So, how did you get from there to spending the night in a cheap motel room with a man you hardly know?”

  “Mom died a few years ago.”

  “Ouch. Now I feel like an ass for trying to make a joke.”

  “Don’t. I loved Mom, but she’d been sick for a long time and said she was ready for a rest. She said death was the only way she was ever going to be able to stop working so hard.”

  “I can’t imagine life without my parents. Good thing they’re still young. They had me when Mom was eighteen. Dad just turned fifty last month.”

  Elise sipped her juice. “Eighteen? That is young. I was still a virgin at eighteen.”

  “The last of a dying breed.”

  “I suppose.”

  “So you’re on your own now, living by your own rules,” he said, to get her to keep talking. She’d finished off half her meal, and as he’d hoped, the distraction was helping her get it down.

  She nodded. “I get to see the world now, which I always wanted to do.”

  “You’re a reporter?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

  “Freelance. I mostly cover dry economic stuff, but I want to branch out more into other areas. I’d love to shed some light on parts of the world that are bleaker than ours—get people to think about how they can help others, maybe help them be grateful for what they have.”

  “That’s no small feat.”

  “I’d only be contributing a drop in the bucket, but at least there’d be one more drop.”

  Trent got that. He knew that as a cop he couldn’t stop every crime, or help every person in need, but he could do something. It wasn’t much, but it was a lot to the people whose lives he touched.

  That was the part about being a cop he missed most—knowing he’d made a difference.

  She set her fork down and leaned away from the food.

  “Full?” he asked.

  “Yeah. But I think I might be able to sleep now.”

  “Go ahead. I’ll take care of cleaning this up.”

  She stood and put her hand on his shoulder. Her gray-green eyes were shadowed with fatigue and red from crying, but she seemed aware of her surroundings now. It was a big step in the right direction.

  “Thank you, Trent. I don’t know what I would have done without you tonight.”

  His throat closed up, clogging with a rush of emotion. He’d helped someone with something important. He’d helped a sweet woman get through one of the most horrific moments of her life. That gratitude shining in her face made him feel like a hero. Made him feel useful again.

  Something inside him that had long been dead came rushing back to life. He wasn’t useless. He still had something to offer. Maybe it wasn’t much, but it was something.

  He nodded, unable to speak. Elise didn’t seem to notice his awkward emotional state. She crossed the room, got into bed, and slid her bare feet under the covers. She rolled over, putting her back to him, and he was grateful for the privacy.

  Trent wasn’t sure how he was going to handle going back to that desolate uselessness his life had become, but he knew he had to find a way. Pretty soon, they’d find Ashley. Or they wouldn’t. But in the end, it would be the same. Elise would get back to her life of traveling the world and making a difference, and he’d go back to his life of… not.

  Maybe he should go back to being a cop. It was the only thing he’d ever truly loved doing. It was part of him.

  But what if he had to face down another armed kid? Would he hesitate again? He’d barely lived through the guilt the first time, and John had survived. What if next time, his hesitation got his partner killed?

  He’d never be able to live with himself if that happened. He’d end up eating a bullet. His family would suffer. His parents would be devastated. His brother would find a way to make himself believe it was somehow his fault. Sam was good at absorbing blame, which was why he’d spent half his childhood grounded.

  No, it was too much of a risk. It was best if he left well enough alone. He was getting along fine. Sure, he wasn’t bubbling over with happiness, but he didn’t deserve that. John sure as hell wasn’t doing any bubbling. Neither was Tyler Craft’s mother.

  He’d do what he could to help Elise and let it end there. This would be his last hoorah, so he was determined to make the most of it.

  Gary peered through his binoculars and watched Gloria move. She was graceful. Beautiful.

  Alone.

  A thrill raced along his limbs, making his hands shake. He pulled in a deep breath to steady his nerves so he could continue to watch his sweet dancer. Getting up this early had its downside, but the fatigue was worth it. He didn’t want to miss a minute of his early bird’s workout.

  Watching her dance only proved how perfect for him she really was. There was something special about artistic women, something that drew him to them. He’d sensed it in Gloria the moment he’d met her.

  His instincts were never wrong.

  Gloria had finished stretching and began to dance, bouncing and jiggling for his enjoyment. He especially liked the part of her routine where her hands were in the air, waving around where he could see them clearly.

  She had such pretty hands.

  He unzipped his trousers and gripped his erection.

  There was no way for her to know he watched, but he had always thought that women in his life were connected to him from the very beginning. There was a link running between them that tied them together. Pretty soon, she’d feel it. She’d start looking over her shoulder for him, the way the others had.

  The last one hadn’t been perfect as he’d hoped, but it wasn’t her fault. He forgave her, as he always did. Perfection was rare, and Gary had to be patient.

  Even though his latest find was beautiful and graceful, she still had a long way to go to prove herself to him, to prove she was worthy to become a part of his beloved Wendy.

  Patience. It wasn’t time to take her yet. He still had to clean the traces of the last woman from the guest room to make space for her.

  Gary had found over the years that there was always room for one more.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Elise woke up from a series of bloody dreams starring her terrified sister. She was sweating and shaking. There was blood under her fingernails from where she’d dug them into her palms while she slept. Her knuckles ached from being clenched into tight fists.

  That feeling that something was wrong writhed in her gut, insistent and demanding. Wherever Ashley was, she was in trouble, and it was getting worse by the day.

  Elise washed her hands at the sink and splashed water on her face, wishing she knew where to go from here. All she wanted was to find Ashley and get her back home, safe and sound. For the first time in her life, she understood why her mother had been so overprotective.

  If Elise had the choice, Ashley would never leave her house again. She’d have armed guards posted at all the doors, and no one would get in her home without a background check and security clearance.

  Talk about repeating her parents’ mistakes. Even her and Ashley’s carefully controlled lives had been less restrictive.

  Elise let out a long sigh and had to bite back the sob that threatened to rise up out of her. She needed to get a grip. Seeing that body had rattled her, but she couldn’t let it continue to do so. She had to push it from her mind so she could
move forward. Keep searching.

  Ashley was not going to end up like that woman, not while Elise still drew breath.

  Trent was sprawled on the far bed, his long body stretched out on top of the bedspread. His tight shirt clung to his torso, revealing muscles that not even the relaxation of sleep could diminish. His face was softer, though. More intriguing. Light from the bathroom shadowed his jaw and accentuated the angular line of his cheekbones.

  Elise stepped closer to his bed and watched him, feeling all the tight, worried places inside her start to loosen up. There was something about him that made her feel stronger, safer. Maybe it was the way he helped her keep going despite her consuming fear for Ashley. Maybe it was simply that he was the only one who’d stepped up to help her, been there for her. Maybe it was the fact that he seemed completely capable of handling whatever came their way.

  Even asleep he looked invincible. She had no idea why he’d decided to help her like this, but she was grateful he was here. She didn’t think she would have made it through the past few hours without him at her side, supporting her.

  Under different circumstances, she could fall for a man like Trent. Hard.

  Maybe after they found Ashley.

  If they found Ashley.

  No. Elise wasn’t going to go there. Not yet. There were still things she needed to do to help the police find her sister. She wasn’t sure exactly what those were yet, but she had a long drive back to Haven to figure them out.

  Trent would help her, too. She trusted his guidance and judgment.

  “Are you going to stand there and stare at me all night?” he asked in a quiet voice.

  “Sorry. Did I wake you?”

  “I was just dozing.” He pushed himself up on the bed, making dozens of muscles bunch. What she wouldn’t give to have half his strength right now.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “Better. Sorry I freaked out on you like that.”

  “It was completely understandable.”

  She sat down on the edge of her bed, giving him some space. “Why are you doing this?”

  “Doing what?”

  “Running off in the middle of the night with a near stranger to ID a body.”

  He let out a big yawn. “You needed me,” he said, as if that was a complete explanation.

  “You don’t even know me.”

  “I know Ashley. Isn’t that enough?”

  Maybe for him it was, but for other people, she didn’t think so. “I want to go back as soon as you’re ready.”

  He glanced at the bedside clock. “You should try to get some more sleep.”

  “I don’t think I can. I need to do something. I can’t just sit around and wait for another call that a body’s been found.”

  Trent nodded and rubbed his eyes. “I understand, but I also don’t want us to crash the car on the way back because neither of us is awake enough to drive.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “You slept for three hours. From the looks of the circles under your eyes, my guess is that you haven’t slept since you left Hong Kong.”

  “I slept on the plane.”

  “Sunday night. It’s Tuesday. Granted, just barely, but still, you’d be foolish to drive, and I’d be an idiot to get in the car with you.”

  “I need to get back.”

  “Why? Bob has your cell number, and mine. He can reach us if he hears anything.”

  “There has to be some clue that I missed—something to tell me where to find her.”

  “Now you’re just grasping at straws. I get that you want to do something proactive, but there isn’t a whole lot left you can do.”

  “I’ll put up flyers, start a Web site, launch an e-mail campaign. Someone somewhere has to know where she is.”

  Trent came and sat down beside her. The mattress dipped under his weight. He took her hand in his and laced his fingers through hers. The comfort of human contact radiated out from that touch, helping to calm her frantic nerves. His thumb stroked the back of her hand. “Do those things if it makes you feel better, but you have to be realistic. We already know she left the bar with some guy. The police know it, too. I talked to Bob and he said he’d send one of their artists to get a composite sketch from the man you talked to at Sally’s. In the meantime, they’re searching all the security footage from the bar. Let the police work this angle. Give them a few hours to do their job.”

  “It’s not enough.”

  “It’s going to have to be. I know you feel helpless, but you’re just going to have to deal with that the best you can. You can’t control this situation. These kinds of things happen to you, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.”

  “Are you speaking from experience?”

  He looked away from her, turning his head so that it was hard to read his expression. “I was a cop. I saw a lot of people in a lot of bad situations. The ones who came through it best were the ones who accepted that they were not in control. They took things in stride, did what they could, and let go of the rest. That’s what you need to do here. Let go. Take care of yourself. If Ashley is hurt when they find her, or even if she’s just scared, she’s going to need you to be there for her. You need to stay strong.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “No. You’re not. You need to sleep, just for a few more hours. Let your body recover from the strain you’re putting on it.”

  He was right, but what he was asking—letting go—was a lot harder to do than it was to say.

  “I dreamed about her,” whispered Elise.

  Trent squeezed her hand. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

  “No. I just don’t want it to happen again.”

  “I could go get you something to help you sleep,” he offered.

  Elise shook her head. “I don’t want to do that. I want to be alert if Bob calls.”

  Trent nodded. “Is there anything else I can do? Anything you need?”

  She gathered up her courage. She knew what she needed, even though she knew it would bruise her pride to admit it. “I don’t want to feel alone. Having you near me helps.” His touch helped calm her, but she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by telling him so. “You’ve already done so much for me, and I hate asking . . .”

  “Just ask, Elise. I want to help.”

  She forced the words out, knowing it was the only way she was going to make it through the night. “Do you think you could hold me, just for a while?”

  He hesitated for a long moment, so long she was sure he was going to turn her down. For all she knew, he was in a committed relationship. His girlfriend certainly wouldn’t appreciate him holding another woman in a motel room.

  “Sure,” he finally said. “I’d like that.”

  Trent had overestimated the width of his heroic streak. He never should have agreed to sleep with her, no matter how vulnerable and fragile she looked. But he had, and now he was stuck in the lovely position of physically comforting an alluring woman in need.

  The comforting part he could handle. He understood exactly why she would need to not feel alone right now. It was the part where he remembered why he shouldn’t seduce her that was starting to elude him.

  Elise had fallen asleep about ten minutes ago. He felt the shift in her breathing, felt her fingers loosen their tight hold on his arm. Her chest expanded, pressing her breast against his side, and all he could think about was how he promised himself that if he ever got to feel that again, he’d take the time to enjoy it.

  Too bad his tense muscles and throbbing erection kept him from enjoying much of anything.

  The woman turned him on, and if that didn’t make him a total ass, he didn’t know what would. Just thinking about her in a sexual way was taking advantage of her. She was in a vulnerable mental state, not thinking rationally. She was all relaxed and sleepy, and totally trusting of him. It wouldn’t have taken any effort at all to seduce her.

  Hell, he could literally do it with his eyes shut.

  T
rent kept his eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. He wasn’t going to touch her—at least not like he wanted to. He was not going to be the asshole who took advantage of a woman in need.

  And then, when the sun came up, and his dick was still safely in his jeans, he’d congratulate himself on a job well done. Maybe he’d even go and buy himself that motorcycle he had his eyes on.

  He’d sure as hell deserve it.

  Elise shifted, curling into his side more closely. Her cheek was pillowed on his shoulder and her fingers were splayed over his abdomen. Every bit of her fit against him just right, making him grit his teeth against the urge to pull her even closer. Instead, he kept his hands to himself, balled into fists so he wouldn’t accidentally forget and start touching her.

  He knew for sure that if he started touching her, he wouldn’t stop until she’d come, and he was the lowest form of scum on the face of the planet.

  The happiest, lowest form of scum on the face of the planet.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Elise pulled into Ashley’s driveway just before nine. Trent had slept most of the way back, giving her quiet time to think, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

  At least she now had some idea of what she needed to do next. After printing up flyers and finding someone to get a Web site up and running fast, she was going to go through Ashley’s house, looking for address books, phone numbers, names, and anything else she could find that might help her locate the mystery man. Then, she was going to head over to campus to talk to Ashley’s friends and see if any of them knew who he was.

  Maybe the cops were already working on that angle, but she could help.

  Having a plan made her feel better, as had the few hours of sleep she’d been able to find in Trent’s arms. Whatever it was about him that made her feel stronger had also managed to replace the nightmares with something pleasant. She’d dreamed about Ashley as a little girl, covered in finger paint and chasing the bubbles Elise had blown for her. Ashley was smiling and happy, a carefree spirit going whichever way the wind blew.

  The memory gave Elise the strength to keep going, to face another day of uncertainty and fear for her sister. She had Trent to thank for that.