by Small,DJ
Chapter Six
Ava stared up at the ceiling as she raked her fingers through Kacey’s thick, brown hair. The other woman had fallen asleep a half hour ago, mumbling something about shitty wine and a headache, before she rested her head on the back of the couch and passed out. Ava had let her sleep like that for ten minutes then she decided to move Kacey so that she was sleeping in a more comfortable position. Ava had meant for Kacey to lie down on the couch, but when her head ended up in her lap, she didn’t give it a second thought. To her it felt natural to sit with Kacey while she napped. It brought a smile to her face.
Ava brought her head down, and looked at the sleeping woman. Kacey was captivating when she was awake, but when she slept, the woman was breathtaking. She was completely relaxed and looked like she didn’t have a care in the world; a sharp contrast to the intense, ready for anything, standoffish woman that Kacey was when she was awake. Ava let her head fall back onto the couch.
She needed to call Robin and let her know that she wasn’t going to make it home. Ava bit her bottom lip as she stared up at the ceiling. Everything was a mess. She had no clear idea of what she should to do in order to get the things she wanted, but she knew that her marriage was over. Ava had known that the moment Robin had suggested that they start a family. She looked down at Kacey. She also wanted to runaway with a woman that she barely knew. To have them build a new life together.
A soft snort escaped Ava, and she shook her head. What the fuck was she doing? She hardly knew Kacey, and yet, she was trying to figure out ways to leave her marriage for her, sacrificing the life she had known for the last three years. And for what? A devastatingly, attractive brunette who had an affinity for violence, and made her feel more alive than she had ever felt before? Ava chuckled quietly to herself. It sounded like a recipe for disaster, but then again, that’s what her life had become lately; nothing but total chaos that seemed to spin further and further out of her control. Ava was determined to get control of it one way or another.
Deciding that she was going to call Robin while Kacey slept, she moved the woman’s head off of her lap, then stood up, placing a pillow under Kacey’s head before she made her way out to the balcony. Ava quietly closed the door behind her, and took her cell phone out of her pocket. She leaned against the rail that enclosed the small balcony and blew out an exasperated breath as she scrolled through her call history. Ava let her thumb hover over Robin’s name. She didn’t want to call her, but at the same time she knew that she had to. She drew in a deep breath and tapped the call record before bringing the phone up to her ear, waiting for the call to connect.
After three rings, Robin picked up. “Hey babe, are you on your way home?” Ava clenched her jaw. The hopefulness in Robin’s voice made her feel terrible, but she had to do this - she wasn’t prepared to end her marriage yet. Ava was trying to figure out what to say when Robin asked, “Are you all right, Ava?”
Ava cleared her throat. “Yeah, yeah. I um…” She sighed. “I’m not on my way home.”
“And why not?” Robin asked. Her tone was sharp, and the anger behind the words wasn’t lost on Ava.
She looked up at the sky and thought about telling Robin the truth. But she couldn’t do it. She didn’t deserve to hear that type of news over the phone; it wouldn’t be right, or fair to Robin. That was something that she would have to do in person. Ava dropped her head as another lie came to her. “The cardiac surgeon who was supposed to be on-call got sick and there isn’t anyone else to cover him.”
Ava heard a small scoff. “Are you even coming home tonight?”
She swallowed hard to push down the lump that had formed in her throat. “No. I’m not.”
“And here I thought we would be able to celebrate our decision. Stupid me.” Robin paused. “Do you even want to start a family with me, Ava, or are you just doing this to placate me?”
Ava pressed her lips together and drew a breath in through her nose. Robin was asking her the right question, however Ava wasn’t going to tell her the truth. There was no way Robin would be able to handle it. She would want to know why, and probably blame it on Ava’s job. Ava let out a quiet breath then said, “Yes, I do. You know I do, Robin.” Ava shook her head. There went another lie that would only destroy things between them. “I’m sorry this happened today but there really is no one else to cover. The other cardiac surgeon is on an island somewhere.”
Robin was quiet. Ava stared down at the street that was below the balcony, hoping that Robin would relent. She wouldn’t be able to tell her one more lie. If Robin pushed back, Ava was going to tell her the truth, and she was certain that the confession would be emotional, tactless, and painful. Robin sighed in her ear. “Okay, Ava. I understand. What time will you be home in the morning?”
Ava closed her eyes and thanked whoever was watching over her. She was about to answer Robin’s question when she heard the sliding glass door open behind her. Ava tensed up. Kacey had wonderful timing, and she silently wished that the woman would keep her mouth closed. Seconds later, Ava felt Kacey standing behind her. She cleared her throat. “I don’t know I have to-” Kacey’s arms slipped around her waist, and she stopped talking. Ava drew in a deep breath through her nose then finished. “I’ll let you know once I’ve checked the schedule.”
Robin snorted. “So you’ll be home tomorrow night then?”
An irritated sigh slipped past Ava’s lips then she felt her hair being brushed to the side. Kacey pressed a soft kiss onto the back of her neck then murmured, “What’s the matter?”
Ava appreciated that she was concerned about her but that didn’t mean she needed to express it at that moment. She shook her head, turning her attention back to the phone call. “Robin, that’s not what I’m saying. I have to look.”
“I’ve heard it before, Ava. You say you need to check then you don’t come home until the following evening.” She let out a derisive chuckle. “I should be used to it by now.”
Behind her, Kacey gasped, then whispered, “Is that the roommate?”
Ava scowled as she stared at the building that was across the street. She couldn’t deal with Kacey while she was trying to prevent an argument with Robin. Kacey nuzzled the side of her neck then kissed it as her hand made its way up the front of Ava’s shirt. Ava clenched her jaw and closed her eyes as her body quickly responded to Kacey’s advances. Delightful chills went down her spine as excitement began to flood her system. Ava tuned out the phone conversation for a moment, and it wasn’t until Robin was calling her name did she force her attention back to her wife. “I’m sorry babe, I was given a patient chart. What did you say?”
Robin scoffed. “Just forget it. Forget it all. Have a good night.”
Ava held onto Kacey’s wrist through her shirt and stopped the roaming hand from traveling further. “Robin, wait. I’m sorry.”
“Sure you are.”
Ava pulled Kacey’s hand from under her shirt as she spoke. “I am, Robin. I know this is a shitty thing, but I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Kacey snorted, but Ava ignored her and forced a tight smile onto her face. “I promise. We can celebrate and I’ll make it up to you all night long.”
Kacey laughed and Robin asked, “Who’s that?”
Ava tried to move away from Kacey, but the woman tightened her hold on Ava’s waist. She kissed the side of her neck then whispered against her ear, “Go ahead and tell her Ava. Tell your roommate who I am. While you’re at it, you can tell her how I-”
“It was a resident,” Ava blurted out. She needed to end this call. “One of Dr. Cedarholm’s patients is having a complication, I have to go.” Ava wanted to smack Kacey. She knew exactly what she was doing, and it pissed Ava off that she was trying to put her in an awkward situation. “I’ll call you later tonight.”
“Sure, Ava,” Robin said with a small sigh. She could tell that Robin didn’t believe her. “I love you.”
Ava had to force the words from her throat. “I love you too.”
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nbsp; The call ended and Ava twisted around to shove Kacey’s shoulder, giving her a little room to move away. She turned and glared at her. “What the fuck were you doing?”
Kacey only responded with an arrogant smirk and a playful sparkle in her eyes. A few seconds later, she turned and went inside the apartment. Not only did her lack of an answer piss Ava off even more, but her walking away also added to her frustration. She was about to chase after her, but Kacey came back to the balcony with a cigarette and her lighter. She put the cigarette in her mouth, and before she was able to light the disgusting thing Ava snatched it from her lips then tossed it off the balcony. Kacey’s eyebrow arched, and she pressed her lips together. She shoved her hands into her pockets and quipped, “Guess I won’t be smoking that one.”
Ava wanted to slap the other woman. The desire to do so was getting harder to resist each time something smart came out of Kacey’s mouth. She narrowed her eyes and repeated. “What the fuck were you doing, Kacey? And don’t give me a vague ass answer.”
Kacey shrugged. “I wasn’t doing anything you didn’t want. I mean, it did take you a while to stop me.”
Ava took a step towards Kacey and glowered at her. “I wasn’t talking about that.”
Kacey tilted her head and studied Ava’s face. Her eyebrows scrunched together in mock confusion, then they rose. She took her hand out of her pocket and snapped her fingers. “Oh! You mean the whispering in your ear when you were on the phone with your roommate?” Ava continued to scowl and Kacey gave another shrug. “I thought you liked it when I talked dirty.” Her eyebrows furrowed. “What’s with the whole doctor, patient bit? Was that a roleplay thing?” She chuckled. “Sunshine, you are-“
“You’re not funny, Kacey. In fact, you are very far from it,” Ava remarked, the scowl still on her face. Her biting tone had no effect on Kacey; the woman only grinned at her. “If you don’t get that look off of your face, I’m going to slap it off.”
The grin grew and Kacey challenged her to do it. “Go for it. I’m certain I can take whatever you dish out, Sunshine.” She winked. “I like it rough.”
The cockier Kacey got, the more aggravated Ava became, and she was done holding it in. Ava was sick of the woman being so flippant towards her while she lost control of her life. She pushed Kacey hard in the shoulder and spat, “I’m sick of your bullshit.” She gave her another hard shove and Kacey stepped back, her back hitting the sliding glass door. Ava jabbed her finger into Kacey’s shoulder. “You’re a cocky asshole and I have no idea why I’m drawn to someone like you. You’re pathetic and full of false bravado that I’m certain is more fragile than your precious ego.”
Kacey took hold of her waist and spun them around. Ava’s back hit the glass of the door and she was surprised by how fast Kacey had turned them. Then she realized that she had lost the upper hand, and her shock wore off. Kacey used her body to pin Ava against the door and her frustration worsened. The storm of emotions that warred inside of her caused Ava to feel an overwhelming amount of helplessness and anger.
She was angry because Kacey was so damn infuriating, but at the same time she couldn’t resist her attraction to her; pissed because Robin had dropped a bombshell on her that had her seeking refuge in the woman in the first place; and she was furious with herself for having gotten into this situation.
Ava didn’t know what to do. Her mind fought with her bodily needs, then there were the feelings that she had for Kacey. They went beyond lust and physical attraction. The culmination of devastating emotions caused Ava to snap at Kacey, and she began to fight against her in a desperate attempt. She hit and slapped at her shoulders but Kacey stood fast and didn’t move away from her. Ava continued to lash out as she mentally surrendered to the fact that the woman pressed against her wasn’t to blame. That everything regarding her and Kacey and her and Robin was all her fault.
Kacey captured her wrists and held them above her head. Her voice was firm, but soft, as she ordered, “Ava, calm down.”
Tears of frustration burned Ava’s eyes as she continued to writhe under Kacey. Another minute passed and Ava realized that Kacey wasn’t going to let her go. She let out a defeated breath and quit her fight against Kacey, and gazed into her eyes. They held their usual intensity, but there was an incredible amount of care in them, and it caused Ava’s throat to constrict. She swallowed hard then asked in a hoarse whisper, “What do you want from me, Kacey?”
Kacey gave her a small smile, then let go of Ava’s left wrist. She brought her hand to Ava’s face and cupped her cheek with a gentle touch. Ava’s eyes closed as the pad of Kacey’s thumb brushed across her cheekbone. “I want you happy,” she admitted in a breathless whisper.
After drawing in a deep breath, Ava opened her eyes and looked at the woman in front of her. There was a storm of conflict in Kacey’s dark brown eyes. She had no idea what the woman was thinking about, but whatever it was, Ava didn’t want her to shoulder it alone. Kacey exhaled through her nose then rested her forehead on Ava’s. She closed her eyes, and when she spoke again, Kacey’s voice was faint. Ava strained to hear her the barely audible word. “Part of making you happy means I have to tell you things about myself, and let you know all of me, so you can decide if this is what you really want. But if I do that, you’re mine, Ava.” She pulled her head back and opened her eyes. “And you’re not ready for that.”
The unguarded expression in Kacey’s eyes and the softness of her voice told Ava that she wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings. It seemed as if Kacey was trying to spare her. “You don’t get to tell me what I’m ready for.” Ava stated, her voice was as quiet as Kacey’s had been.
Kacey released her other arm and took a step back from her. “I have one question to ask you, and if you answer it honestly and don’t bullshit me, then you’ll have proven me wrong.”
Ava was nervous about the question Kacey had for her. She had an idea or two in regards to what Kacey wanted to ask her, but at the same time she wasn’t sure. The woman was being honest with her, and maybe she was thinking Ava would do the same. Everything with Kacey was such a mystery. Ava stared at her a second longer, then folded her arms over her chest. “What do I get in return? Just because I prove you wrong doesn’t mean anything.” She gestured towards her. “Does this mean you’ll start explaining things to me? Like your scar, or the guy that was in your apartment earlier? Who I’m certain you beat the shit out of. Are you going to tell me why you-”
“If I were you, I would cool it,” Kacey said, interrupting Ava. Her hard tone had returned, and with it came the lethal look Ava had seen earlier. “I didn’t get to ask my question, and if you keep going on about shit that you have no idea about, I’ll kick you out on your ass. You can go back to your fuckin’ roommate.”
Ava moved closer to Kacey, until she was in her face. Earlier, this side of the woman had scared her but this time it didn’t. “What if I don’t? What are you going to do? You gonna hit me?” Ava challenged in a low voice. She smirked. “I’d like to see you fucking try.”
The muscles in Kacey’s jaw twitched and her gaze hardened as she stared at Ava. Ava knew that the woman was volatile, but she was over it all; from the mind games to the way Kacey gave her the bare minimum, while expecting Ava to give her everything. She wasn’t going to give her any more. Not until Kacey gave her something in return. The two of them continued to stare at each other for another second, then a satisfied smirk broke out on Ava’s face. “That’s what I fucking thought.”
Ava turned to walk back into the apartment, but as she did, Kacey grabbed her arm. Ava looked at her over shoulder and met her fierce gaze. The hold Kacey had on her arm was tight, but it didn’t hurt her. The hardness was still in her dark eyes and there was a scowl on her face. Kacey’s lips barely moved as she demanded, “Who the fuck is she?”
Ava tried to pull her arm away, and Kacey tightened her grip on it, then she let go. Ava rushed to close the gap that was between them. “Why does it matter who the fuck she is?” She
pressed then front of her body onto Kacey’s and whispered, “You have me.” She grabbed her wrist and placed Kacey’s hand on her left breast. “You have my body.” Ava’s eyes bore into Kacey’s powerful brown ones. “You have my soul.” She clutched the front of the woman’s black t-shirt. “What more do you want? You’ve won.”
Ava rested her head on Kacey’s shoulder and the other woman wrapped her arms around her. Silent tears began to fall from her eyes. Ava felt weak for letting this woman invade everything that she was because it was destroying her; but she couldn’t get away. She was addicted to Kacey. There were parts of her that wanted to fight what she was feeling, because of her marriage, but most of her yearned to be consumed by Kacey, and she was going to let it happen.
Kacey kissed her forehead and sighed. She was quiet for a moment, then she stated, “There is nothing to be won here, Ava.”
Ava lifted her head and looked at Kacey. “Then why does she matter?” She didn’t understand what Kacey would gain by knowing who Robin was to her. With regard to the two of them, she was actually a moot point.
Kacey brushed a wayward lock of hair out of Ava’s face, then she placed a soft kiss on her lips. When she pulled back, there was a smirk on her face. “Let’s get you cleaned up then we’ll go get something to eat, Sunshine”
Ava stared at Kacey. “You’re really not going to tell me why this is so damn important to you?” Kacey’s smirk turned into a grin and Ava rolled her eyes. “You’re going to either drive me insane or be the death of me.”
Kacey kissed her again. This time it lasted longer and there was more passion behind it, making Ava hold onto her waist. Kacey broke the kiss, and there was a smug grin on her face once more. “It’ll be the best death you’ll ever experience.” Ava glared in response to Kacey’s cockiness. She still didn’t understand why she put up with her.