by Marie Cole
"What an asshole... don't worry, Claire. We'll find you a good guy." I inhaled shakily and sniffled, lifting my head.
"I can't seem to find a guy who can kiss me without losing control of himself. Will couldn't and Damien couldn't..."
"But Neil could. Why do you think that is?"
I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. "Maybe he's incapable of love so it doesn't affect him."
She walked us to my bed and then gently pushed me back so I'd sit next to her as she took a seat. "Well... that makes sense, I guess. And Justice, when you kissed her?...Right..." She was studying my face and caught the horror in my eyes. "You don't remember."
I sighed and rubbed the dull aches that were still churning in my brain. "It is what it is. The curse of me. I'm destined to be an old maid." Merit snorted beside me.
"Girl, please. The only thing that's different between now and a year ago is that you saw a boy who you wanted... Will, might I remind you. Just try to forget about Neil and Will and Damien and your love spell theory. Go back to focusing on you and that gift of yours. You give so many others love and we all love you back for it. You have friends for life not just warm bodies in your bed which is all that Neil and Justice have."
I nodded absently. She was right, I guess. I didn't need to find a guy. I was fine before I went on this quest. I'd lose Neil as a friend but I had many other friends. The ache and emptiness I felt at the thought of letting him go would go away eventually, I was sure of it. I pat her on the knee as I stood up, determined to put it behind me and move on. "You're wise, Merit. Thanks for being such a great friend." When she stood up I hugged her tight. "I gotta get ready to go to cheer practice. We're learning a new routine today." She hugged me back and then took her exit.
I was a few minutes late to practice but it didn't seem to matter, Neil and Justice both arrived ten minutes after me, both looked like they'd just rolled out of bed; probably the same one. I buried my hatred for Justice deep and put on my best cheer smile. Neil had waved at me but I didn't wave back. He couldn't seriously think I'd be okay with what happened last night, could he?
We started in on the new cheer while the football players went through their plays. Halfway through practice time Justice called a break so they could mingle with the football players and get hydrated. I made sure I was at least four bodies away from Neil the whole time. If he tried to get closer I'd excuse myself and get farther away. I grabbed another cheerleader, Leah, she was pretty close to me and chatted with her about homecoming. After she'd finished telling me about her great time I looked up and saw Neil smiling down at me. "Hey." Leah grinned and wandered off. I stood up at the exact time he sat down.
"Oh hey, I was just going to the bathroom." I pasted on my cheer smile. "I'll see you later." I made myself scarce and came back out and went to Chuck, Neil's arch enemy. They had always been at each other's throats, I think Neil felt like Chuck was a runner up to him. One time Chuck won at beer pong and Neil was pissed. He called for a rematch and three games later he'd declared he was the best, having effectively crushed Chuck.
"Hey, Chuck. You looked great out there." I wrapped my hand gently around his bicep and batted my lashes at him. I saw him eyeing my chest and then my long exposed legs. He smiled and wrapped his arm around my back.
"Thanks, Claire. I thought you looked great over there. I get distracted every time you kick your leg up," he said.
I smiled sweetly at him. "I guess I don't have to tell you how flexible I am."
He chuckled and I felt his hand move down to my ass. "No, you don't." He slipped his hand under my skirt and I felt his finger brush my panties. I gasped, and slapped him across his cheek, my eyes wide at his audacity. I heard him shout at me as I walked away. "Come on, Claire. Don't pretend like you didn't like it..." He laughed and high fived another teammate.
I rolled my eyes and went back to the side of the field, break time was over. We ran through the cheer a couple of times and in the middle of the third run-through we all stopped to watch as Neil hit Chuck hard in the middle of his body from the back. Once Chuck was facedown in the dirt Neil stepped on Chuck's hand in an effort to get the ball to the field goal. Chuck cried out in agony, holding his hand to his chest as he rolled over onto his back. A couple of his fingers were hanging lifelessly and I looked away.
Chuck was sent to the nurse and practice resumed. We had the routine down by the time the coach blew the whistle, signifying the end of practice. I went to the bleachers and grabbed my water, chugging it down, still dehydrated from my night of drinking. When I lowered the bottle Neil was standing in front of me again. "So.... You're mad." He was smiling. I wanted to smack it from his face.
"I am." I tried to keep emotion from my face. I pulled on my sweatshirt and pulled my ponytail from the collar, letting it swish behind me.
"Why?" He was watching me. I tried to pretend like I wasn't watching him and his clueless expression.
"I was drunk. You and your girlfriend Justice took advantage of me. That's why." I shifted and cocked my hip out, watching him blatantly. His smile faded.
"First of all, Justice is not my girlfriend and second of all, I didn't pour the alcohol down your throat, you got drunk on your own. You pulled me along after Justice asked if you wanted to participate with her."
"Were you drunk?" I hoped like hell he'd say yes, maybe it was just a misunderstanding as to how he could let her do that to me. Let her manipulate me with her love powers and have her way with me.
He shook his head and my heart sunk. "No? Okay so, you, not being drunk, went along with whatever your drunken date wanted to do, you didn't stop me thinking, 'Eh, maybe Claire wouldn't be so cool with having a threesome with her enemy, I should probably stop her at all costs, because that would be the –decent- thing to do?' Of course not because that would be thinking about somebody else for a change." I kept my tone even, I didn't want to draw unwanted attention to us.
"I warned you when you started drinking that you might be going too fast. After that I assumed you were a fully capable adult that could make her own decisions, to include getting stupid drunk. If you were concerned with having someone baby you, you probably should've let me know that at the start of the date. I generally treat people like fully capable equals." Oh hell no, he didn't just try to turn this around on me. I didn't do anything wrong, I was letting loose and having some innocent fun. I didn't strap a sign to my chest that said 'Gang Bang, please!'
I shook my head, "If I wanted to have someone take advantage of me I would've gone to the dance with any of the other guys that have been asking me for weeks. I thought you were different, Neil. Clearly I was wrong. You were just using me to get your kicks off with Justice. Did you and Justice laugh about it this morning behind my back?"
He frowned at me and held up his hands to stop me. "You're off the mark with this one, Claire. You made a decision. Be an adult and take responsibility for it." I smiled at him, he was incredible trying to blame me for this. I was intoxicated, yes, by my own hands, but dammit, he could've and should've stopped me if his intent wasn't to hurt me. How could he not know that this would be the ultimate in breaking my trust?
"If the situation had been reversed I wouldn't have gone off with you and that ass grabbing creep Chuck. I would've looked out for you." I shook my head and held up my hand. "Whatever, Neil, it doesn't matter. I told you once and I'll tell you again, leave me alone. I'm serious. Have wonderful kinky sex with Justice and leave –me- out of it." I grabbed my shit and quickly ran away, not bothering to look back. I didn't want him to see my tears.
Chapter 14
Neil
FUCK! I watched as she ran away from me and felt the anger rising up in my chest. I slammed my fists down onto the bleachers below me. I was panting loudly as I stared at the dent I'd made in them and then I made like hell for Justice's room.
Claire didn't know what the hell she was talking about. She needed to get that stick out of her pretty little ass and quit blaming everyone
else in the world for her problems. If Claire wanted me to go fuck Justice, then that's exactly what I'd do.
I knocked on Justice's door loudly and she answered the door in a towel, its edges barely met over her large breasts. I stalked inside, pushed her back into her room, my arms went around her waist. I pulled her against me and captured her lips. She moaned against my lips and moved her hands into my hair. I stepped on her towel as I moved her back to her bed. She smiled, "Come to beg me now, Neil?"
I kissed from her neck down to her breasts as I quickly pulled down my pants. I nodded, "Yes, I'll beg you if that's what you want. You win." I left her body for only a minute as I got up and grabbed a condom from her bedside table. I ripped the paper open and slid it onto my already hard dick. I brought my mouth back to her nipples, biting gently and then flicking them with my tongue. I reached between Justice's legs and ran my finger up her wet center. I wasted no time in burying myself deep into her. I supported myself on my hands as I thrust all my anger and hurt deep into her. My release came quick and after I was done I pulled back. Justice didn't mind being used. She didn't expect anything from me. I pulled the condom off and cleaned up in the bathroom. I dressed and kissed Justice's cheek before walking out of her room.
I was lost in my head as I rushed out of the dorm. Something still didn't feel right. I felt like someone was sitting on my chest. Maybe I needed to run it off. My conscious self came back when I heard a female voice. "Neil! Geez..." I looked down and saw Merit, Claire's friend. We had nearly collided. She eyed the hallway behind me as I set my charms on her. I had nothing to hide.
"Hey, Merit. Sorry." I tried to sidestep her but she blocked me.
"...I thought you and Claire were dating."
"Nope, just took her to homecoming but now she's back to normal." I tried to sidestep again but she didn't want to let me go. I stopped, if she wanted to do this, we could discuss her friend. Even though it was none of her bloody business.
"You mean –you're- back to normal?" She was trying to be delicate but it wasn't working. She was grating on me and I felt my anger rising again.
"No, I mean she is. I told her I see the appeal of romance and I thought she was seeing the appeal of enjoying life but then she went off on me so that's that."
"Enjoying life means having a threesome?"
"Sometimes," I growled, "You don't know as much about her as you think, Merit."
"I know that she thinks you and Justice set her up and I think you have that all turned around. You're projecting. And if you don't know what that means you need to take Psyc101 with Dr. Anderson."
I gave an obnoxious fake laugh to fray her nerves. "Because Merit's the smartest girl in school and understands everything about everything." She should be as aggravated as she was making me. "Maybe you want to try a threesome and you can't so you're jealous. How's that for projecting?"
She scoffed at me and rolled her eyes. "Oh please, is that the best you could come up with? I'm not impressed."
"Of course you're not. You're Miss Perfect." I fired back, my temper still flaring. "Flat, boring, predictable Miss Perfect. That's why you can't imagine someone doing something just for themselves and because they want to. Claire did something that's not what you want so she couldn't possibly have -wanted- to."
"You arrogant ass. She told me she didn't want to."
"That is not what she told me, at least at the time. If she doesn't talk to me or decides something then regrets it... I can't do anything about any of that." I shrugged my shoulders and stuck my hands into my front jean pockets.
"So that's it then? You've given up?" She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at me like she was ready for a surrender. I sure as bloody hell wasn't about to give her one. If Claire wanted to talk to me, she could. I wasn't going to talk through her friend like a fucking middle schooler.
"She got pissed, blamed me for everything, and tossed me aside. What's there to do?"
She shrugged and looked at me with fire in her hazel eyes. "Fuck Justice, apparently." And back to Justice. If I wanted to fuck Justice that was my own prerogative. Claire didn't like the threesome with Justice and was going to act like I forced it on her.
"Which I've noticed is totally under my control in this conversation, just not Claire's. Pick a standard, Merit."
"Whatever she said to you was said because she's hurt. Come down off your high horse and try to see things from her perspective--for once." A gruff sound extended from my chest. Claire didn't come down from her high horse to see my perspective, why should I do the same for her?
I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest, "Don't come at me like an attack dog then tell me I need to be all emotional. You did this one wrong.." I pointed my finger at her with a thrust into the air before turning to walk off. She didn't stop me.
"Do you care about her or not?!" She practically yelled it at my back, her frustration with me evident, but I was beyond caring. My anger still shadowing all my other feelings. Another snarky laugh came from my throat as I yelled back to her, not even bothering to turn my head.
"Way to find out, Merit."
"I'll take that as a no!" She mumbled something under her breath as I turned into the stairwell and made my way to my dorm. Fuck Claire and her childish attitude. I gave the one-woman thing a try and it hadn't worked out. I stopped midway down the stairs and put a hand to my achy chest. What the fuck was that? I rubbed it a couple of times and the feeling went away. Thinking of her was giving me chest pains. I'd better stop fucking thinking about her.
A couple of girls were coming up the stairs and if their clothes and slightly sweaty appearance were any indication they'd just come back from a workout. I smiled at them as they approached and they giggled. Time to see if the threesome, which was fucking awesome with Claire and Justice, would be just as good without them in the leading roles.
Chapter 15
Claire
The next week went by in a blur. I didn't go out of my way to avoid Neil, I just acted like he didn't exist. It was actually pretty easy considering he never looked at me or try to initiate any kind of conversation.
I was in the library with earbuds in, listening to classical, as I studied for my English midterm. I was in the zone when I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. I jumped and pulled the earbuds out as I looked up. My eyes met with Will's. I smiled and whispered. "Hey." I couldn't help but notice his aura was a blank white.
"Hey, sorry to bother you. I just wanted to see how you were doing." He put his bag down next to his leg as he sat down across from me at the table. "I heard about the blow up with the quarterback."
I felt my shoulders slump slightly, my hand twirling my ponytail. "That's so sweet of you... I'm okay, really. It sucked to be used that way but I'm determined to move on."
He lifted a beautiful dark brow and half-smiled. My stomach flipped. "Oh? So you're ready to give me another chance?" I laughed softly and looked around to make sure no one was listening before looking back to him.
"Well, maybe... I'm just not ready for the physical stuff."
He nodded quickly. "Sure, the whole date rape kind of thing, I understand the hesitation," he said. I nodded in return.
"I'm wondering if its even worth it," I said.
"Well, lets find out together." He slowly reached out and grabbed my elbow. He leaned closer and let his warm fingers slide up my arm. His hand clasped mine, stilling the twirling. He brought it down and pulled it toward the middle of the table. He clasped his fingers with mine and stared at me. It was kind of hot.
"Are you sure?" He nodded twice.
"Very sure. Will you walk with me around the lake later? I want to show you something."
I smiled softly and nodded. "Sure." Maybe this would work out. Maybe we could just fool around without kissing... the scientific part of my brain was swirling around again.
Later that evening, we walked down to the lake and held hands. He told me about his classes, his favorite books, his dreams for the future.
Which, unlike Neil, included being normal. He wanted to settle down if he could. Maybe stay at the University and teach other half-bloods like us. I hadn't decided on my major yet but I was debating going into philosophy or library sciences. I was pretty much stuck here and I didn't want to be a janitor or a lunch lady. I could be in school for years and years. A super senior.