Crushed

by Marie Cole

  "Don't let our parents hear you say that. They are perfect." He said the last bit loudly for emphasis, in case they were listening. He looked down at me, looking over my entire face, feature by feature. "I think you got more than half of the perfect your father gave to you."

  My heart was melting, I wasn't sure I believed what he was saying but I sure as heck wanted to! I wrapped my arms around his neck pulled him down to my lips. Almost. I turned my head at the last second, remembering what would happen if I let anyone aside from the devil kiss me. "Let me destress you now..." I pushed on his shoulders until he was on his back. I got to my knees quickly, he would enjoy this for sure. I'd heard the other girls talking for years about how much guys loved doing this one thing. I reached for his pants but he put his hands over mine.

  "Claire, please... you don't have to do that." I looked at him. My gut felt like it had been kicked in. He was rejecting me. Just a few minutes ago he told me I was perfect and now he disagreed with my actions? I tried not to let the emotions show on my face and either I did a good job or he wasn't paying attention because he smiled and pulled me back up so I was laying on his chest. I put my cheek there and just rested.

  The rest of the night was pretty uneventful. We ordered delivery, watched movies and fell asleep. The whole time all I could think was that it was much more fun with Neil. And how I wished he were sitting next to me instead. It wasn't fair to Will and it wasn't fair to me. I had to talk to him, and I vowed to do just that...tomorrow.

  Chapter 18

  Neil

  I was coming up on my fifth mile when I spotted the wanker coming out of Claire's dorm. He was on his bloody phone again. I couldn't help but wonder who he was talking to. There was still something that didn't seem right about him. Something was off.

  My thoughts came back to Claire and I wondered what they'd done last night. Did he kiss her? Did she enjoy it? Did she moan and roll her hips against his like she'd done to mine? Did he make her arch her back and lose her mind with multiple orgasms?

  I ran harder. I didn't need to be thinking about that shit. It'd been two weeks since I'd slept with a girl and it was getting downright depressing. I had no desire anymore. The more I tried, the more frustrated I became. It didn't help that every night I woke up with soiled boxers and -her- name on my lips. She was haunting my dreams. It was fucked up.

  How could I get closer to Will without becoming his friend? As far as I could tell the guy was a loner. He was the kind of guy that you stayed away from. He had danger written all over him. No doubt he was a loose cannon just waiting to be set off.

  I couldn't follow him around all day, that would be bloody creepy. We had not one class together so that was out. I stopped at the seventh mile and smiled to myself. His room. Maybe there was something in his dorm that would give me a clue as to what he was about. The only problem was, how did I get in there? He had a roommate. Tse. He was the guy who did the music at all the parties. I smiled wider.

  I was going to throw a party. Tonight.

  That afternoon after I'd already spread the word I went to find Tse. He wasn't hard to find, like most people he was a man of habit. He was sitting on one of the many grassy hills, large noise canceling headphones on his ears. He was bobbing his head gently, his long black ponytail swayed softly in the wind. The dude was Native American so the long hair worked for him. He was people watching as he listened to his tunes so I walked in front of him and waved.

  He pulled off his headphones and offered me a nod. "Sup?"

  "Nothing really. I'm throwing a party tonight in the woods and I was hoping you would be the one to DJ for me. Everyone knows you're the go-to guy for that sort of thing."

  "Sure thing man, you know my rate?" I nodded and pulled a couple of hundreds from my back pocket and slipped it to Tse.

  "Can I help you set up or something?" Tse looked at me as if I had another head slowly popping out of my shoulder. I laughed and shrugged. "Just trying to be nice. I'm not hitting on you or anything." He snorted and a small smile crept onto his lips.

  "Sure, man. Come by my room around six. You know where it is?" I nodded.

  "Yep. See you then." I smiled to myself as I walked away. Operation: Spy on Giant was well under way. The pieces were falling into place. I would figure out what that sneaky freak was up to before long. Hopefully before the night was over.

  *************

  It was six on the dot, Tse opened the door almost immediately after I'd knocked. His folding set up ready to go. I also noted a crate with some vinyl records and a couple of bottles of water near the door.

  I nodded to the crate. "Is that what you want me to grab?" He nodded back, his ponytail falling over his shoulder as he bent down to retrieve it.

  "Think you can handle it, QB?" He grinned and I laughed.

  "I can manage. Are you going to carry that table - music - thing all by yourself?" I took the crate from him as I nodded to the eight foot electronic table.

  He shrugged. "It's not really that heavy, just bulky." He picked it up and it seemed he wasn't bullshitting me. If I were in his shoes I wouldn't trust some jock with my precious music shit either. I held the door open for him with my foot and reached down to grab the crate. I very stealthily unlocked my phone and sent myself a text message. I looked out the door and he was halfway down the hall already, people pressing themselves against the wall to get out of the way of his musical table.

  "Hey man, I gotta make a call, I'll be right behind you!" I called down the hall and he paused and nodded to me briefly before heading away from me, towards the front exit.

  I let the door close and looked around. It was clear whose side was whose. Tse's side was covered with musical posters, CDs, more vinyl records, a guitar sat beside his bed. The other side was very clean and sparse. Aside from the school supplies necessary to go to class there was nothing extra. No family photos. No posters. Nothing to identify that Will had any interests at all. It was a little creepy and just reinforced my suspicions of him. I quickly went to his bedside table and opened the drawer.

  I frowned. There was a nudie magazine but... it only featured men and... bondage. This was not right. What was he doing with Claire if he was gay? I had nothing against gays. More women for me. And I had nothing against bondage, if the girl was into that sort of thing, I guess.

  I pulled out the magazine and started flipping through it quickly, maybe it was a cover. Maybe there was information inside of it. I mean who the hell would browse through this unless they were into dudes? I cringed and tried not to imprint the pictures on my bloody brain. I hope she appreciated all the trouble I was going through for her. I would be permanently scarred from these pictures.

  Nothing. I shoved the magazine back into the drawer and huffed. That was a waste. I got down on my knees and checked under the bed. Nothing. I got up and went to the desk and opened those drawers. Just office supplies. Very neat and tidy.

  I sat down in Will's chair and growled. I know he's up to something. I slammed my fists down on his desk and I felt something flitter to the floor, brushing my leg on the way. I pushed the chair back and got down on all fours. I grabbed the paper that had fallen and turned it over. It was blank. I turned it over the other way. Still blank. I crumpled the paper in frustration.

  It must have been caught in the desk somehow. I crawled out from under the desk and stuffed the paper into my pocket and put the chair back where I found it. I looked around to make sure everything was mint. It was. He wouldn't be able to tell I'd been snooping. I grabbed the crate with the records and quickly left, jogging until I reached the edge of the woods where I spotted the back of Tse's table as he disappeared between the trees.

  Chapter 19

  Claire

  My phone buzzed with news of Neil's party in the woods. Part of me was curious to see who showed and who he showed up with. Another part of me was annoyed that he'd sent me the invitation at all. I thought I'd made it crystal clear how I felt about him. Maybe he saw me mentally undres
sing him when we bumped into each other at the library.

  He had looked so good in my mind. I shivered involuntarily as those dirty thoughts of him being sweaty and deep inside me rolled through my mind's eye. I deleted the text message and then started one of my own. While most of the limited student body was going to be dancing in the woods I could experiment with Will.

  He had stopped me yesterday from going down on him but I had figured he was probably just embarrassed. I'd heard my neighbor next door going at it with her boyfriend and he'd probably heard the same thing.

  Claire: Most everyone will be at the party tonight. R U going?

  I sighed softly as I looked around my room, mentally making a list of things I needed to do. I heard my phone ping when I added my fifth item.

  Will: Only if U R. Did you want to go?

  Claire: Not really. I was thinking maybe we could b alone. It will b very quiet on campus.

  Will: :-D Where u now? Where did u want 2 b alone? The library? The fountain?

  I blushed as the thoughts of me going down on Will in either of those places raced through my mind.

  Claire: I was thinking ur place this time. Will ur roommie b there?

  Will: No. He's DJing at the party.

  Claire: Ur place then? 2nite?

  Will: Sure. Don't eat. I'll get us something.

  Claire: K. Sounds good. :-) C u tonight.

  I grabbed my laundry and headed towards the campus laundry facility. Instead of having laundry in each building we just had one big laundromat. As I opened two washers to shove my clothes in I looked around and groaned softly. Neil was here. He was sitting in front of the dryers and was fiddling with his phone. If I stayed away from him he probably wouldn't even know I was there.

  I slid my card through the reader, poured in the soap and then quietly shut the lids. I heard his voice and looked up to see him standing next to me, his hand on the washer next to mine, his hot body leaning towards it.

  "Claire-bear. It looks like you might need another washer." He reached across me, his bicep brushing my breast. My nipple puckered at that light, seemingly innocent touch. I sucked in a breath and exhaled quickly as I saw his hand picking up my panties.

  I snatched my panties from him and stuffed them back into the basket. "I do but they're all full. It'll have to wait." I could feel the blush on my face.

  He leaned back, giving me back my personal space, a smirk on his face. "Did you run out?"

  "That... is none of your business." I was gritting my teeth. He made me so angry sometimes. Why was he talking to me like we were old chums? I was still very hurt by his indiscretion with Justice. Most of the time I could protect myself, I'd been doing it for years by focusing on other people. But that night he should've protected me. It was the right thing to do, especially if he had cared about me. But he didn't, not outside of the bedroom. He wasn't capable of those feelings.

  "Testy. I do hope you're coming to my party. You need to relax a little." He kept his hands to himself and I was grateful for that. But I watched as his eyes took in my body.

  "I'm not. I'm going to be hanging out with Will... at his place. But he will probably relax me just fine. Thanks for your concern." He snorted and I frowned at him. Did he think I was joking? Making it up? I turned to him and put my hand on my hip. "What on Earth do you think is funny?"

  "You thinking Will is going to relax you. He's not into people like you." My heart felt a pang. People like me? Good girls? He thought I wasn't good enough for Will. He probably thought I was not good enough for him either. He rubbed his eyes with the fingers of one hand and then pinched his nose. "Claire, I didn't mean it like that." I searched his aura. Turquoise and bright green. The bright green was always there. He was trying to protect someone. Me or Will or himself? I wasn't sure.

  I shook my head and stopped him before he could say more. "Whatever. Did you want something?" He stared at me for a minute, I saw the turquoise shimmer and then fade, a dark cherry red came into his aura. He was getting angry. Good. I tried to hold back my own smug smile.

  "Not a damn thing. Just thought maybe you'd want to know that your lover boy is into dudes." I stared at him, gawking. He had some nerve. He was so angry he'd throw around false accusations like that. Did he think I'd dump Will because he told me a lie about him?

  "That's ridiculous. Neil, if you're trying to win me back you're not doing a good job. In fact you're doing a real shitty job." He snorted again and I clenched my fists at my sides.

  "If I were trying to win you back, love, I'd already have you." He was still angry with me but his words were probably true, I didn't need to search his aura to see that. The fact that he didn't want to win me back stung. I grabbed the rest of my dirty laundry and turned away. He grabbed my arm. "I just don't want you to get hurt." The turquoise flicker was back and I narrowed my eyes, searching his face again.

  "I didn't know you cared so much." I turned my nose up a little. He didn't care when I wasn't there when he woke up after homecoming. I wasn't sure he was capable of caring the way I needed him to. I saw him flinch and I thought it was probably for the best that he continued to keep his distance.

  "Harsh. I've cared about you for a long time. That doesn't go away just because you don't like to play the way I do." He smiled softly, knowing the remark would bite at me.

  I yanked my arm from his grasp, dropped my laundry basket in front of one of the washers I'd occupied and rushed into the bathroom. Neil was just trying to hurt me. And it was working. He was clearly still in the mindset that I was ridiculous for not letting being intimate with someone be as casual as he allowed it to be. It wasn't casual. I didn't want to give that part of myself to everyone and anyone. Why did he think I waited so long?

  I waited in the bathroom until I knew my cycle was done. When I came out Neil was gone.

  ****************

  I knocked on Will's door and looked down at my green chiffon dress and smoothed out a couple of wrinkles. I heard the door open and I looked up, smiling. Will was there, tall, masculine, and wearing only black lounge pants low on his waist. I absently licked my lips as my gaze roamed from his large pecs to his chiseled abs and to the muscular V that led to the nether parts that I had yet to see. His thumb went under my chin and brought my attention back to his face, which was smiling softly. His ice blue eyes were crinkled a little at the corners. He hadn't shaved and his hair was mussed. He looked good enough to friggin' eat.

  "Hi." I blinked innocently, putting my hands behind my back to keep them from yanking his pants down.

  "Hi." He smoothed his thumb over my jaw and then stepped back so I could come in. "Sorry I didn't dress up. I haven't been feeling very well." My heart sank just a little as I turned to look at him as he closed the door behind me.

  "Oh no... can I get you anything? Should I go?" He shrugged his wide shoulders and shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants as I stepped further into the room.

  "That's up to you. I'd hate to get you sick too. But if you wanted to stay and watch a movie I'd love the company." I nodded slowly and looked him over again as I weighed those options. I could stay and cuddle with Will, potentially get sick. Or I could leave and ... and what? Go to Neil's stupid party? The choice was a no brainer.

  "What do you want to watch?" I smiled brightly. He returned the smile, though not fully and went to lay down on his bed. He put one hand on his stomach and the other behind his propped head.

  "Whatever you want, babe. I'll probably be asleep as soon as you warm me up." I shrugged my shoulders softly and turned to look at what the boys had to offer. Action movies mostly. I pulled out a couple and held them up when I turned back to him.

  "Aliens or Terminator?" He pointed to the one on the left. "Terminator it is!" I popped the movie in and got comfortable spreading myself over him after I took off my shoes. I could hear his heartbeat under my head. It was beating slow and steady. I put my hand on his chest and slowly moved it down towards his waist band. His heart continued to
beat slow and steady. Hmm. I dipped my fingers underneath his band and he grabbed my hand, pulling it up to his lips. He kissed my fingers and put my hand back on his chest. He pat my hand a couple times, his attention focused on the tv, as he tried to placate me.