Adventures of a Dog, and a Good Dog Too

by Alfred Elwes

  UPS AND DOWNS.

  I should not probably have spoken of these last incidents in my life, asthe relation of them savours rather too much of vanity, but for certainresults of the highest importance to my future fortunes.

  When I reached the old kennel I found, waiting my return, two terrierdogs in livery, with bulls' heads grinning from such a quantity ofbuttons upon their lace coats that it was quite startling. They broughta polite message from Sir John and Lady Bull, begging me to call uponthem without delay. As the servants had orders to show me the road, weset off at once.

  I was very silent on the journey, for my companions were so splendidlydressed that I could not help thinking they must be very superior dogsindeed; and I was rather surprised, when they spoke to each other, tofind that they talked just like any other animals, and a good deal morecommonly than many that I knew. But such is the effect of fine clothesupon those who know no better.

  We soon reached the grounds of the mansion, having crossed the river in aboat that was waiting for us; and after passing through a garden morebeautiful than my poor dog's brain had ever imagined, we at last stoodbefore the house itself. I need not describe to you, who know the placeso well, the vastness of the building or the splendour of its appearance.What struck me more even than the palace, was the number of the servantsand the richness of their clothes. Each of them seemed fine enough to bethe master of the place, and appeared really to think so, if I couldjudge by the way they strutted about and the look they gave at my poorapparel. I was much abashed at first to find myself in such a company andmake so miserable a figure; but I was consoled with the thought that notone of them that morning had ventured, in spite of his eating hismaster's meat and living in his master's house, to plunge into the waterto save his master's son. Silly dog that I was! it did not enter my headat the same time to inquire whether any of them had learnt to swim.

  If the outside of the mansion had surprised me by its beauty, theinterior appeared of course much more extraordinary to my ignorant mind.Every thing I was unused to looked funny or wonderful; and if I had notbeen restrained by the presence of such great dogs, I should havesometimes laughed outright, and at others broken forth into expressionsof surprise.

  The stout Sir John Bull was standing in the middle of the room when Ientered it, while the stouter Lady Bull was lying on a kind of sofa, thatseemed quite to sink beneath her weight. I found out afterwards that itwas the softness of the sofa which made it appear so; for sitting on itmyself, at my Lady's request, I jumped up in the greatest alarm, onfinding the heaviest part of my body sink lower and lower down, and mytail come flapping into my face.

  Sir John and Lady Bull now thanked me very warmly for what I had done,and said a great many things which it is not worth while to repeat. Iremember they were very pleasing to me then, but I am sure cannot beinteresting to you now. After their thanks, Sir John began to talk to meabout myself--about my parents--my wishes--what I intended to do--andwhat were my means? To his great surprise he learnt that parents I hadnone; that my only wishes were the desire to do some good for myself andothers, and earn my meat; that I had no notion what I intended doing, andhad no means whatever to do anything with. It may be believed that Iwillingly accepted his offer to watch over a portion of his grounds, tosave them from the depredations of thieves, on condition of my receivinggood clothes, plenty of food, and a comfortable house to live in. It wasnow my turn to be thankful. But although my heart was full at this pieceof good fortune, and I could _think_ of a great many things to say toshow my gratitude, not a single word could I find to express it in, butstood before them like a dumb dog, with only the wave of my tail toexplain my thanks. They seemed, however, to understand it, and I was atonce ordered a complete suit of clothes and everything fitted for my newposition. I was also supplied with the most abundant supper I had everhad in my life, and went to rest upon the most delightful bed; so thatbefore I went to sleep, and I do believe afterwards too, I kept saying tomyself, "Job, Job, you have surely got some other dog's place; all thisgood luck can't be meant for you; what have you done, Job, that youshould eat such meat, and sleep on so soft a bed, and be spoken to sokindly? Don't forget yourself, Job; there must be some mistake." But whenI got up in the morning, and found a breakfast for me as nice as thesupper, and looked at my clothes, which, if not so smart as some of theothers, were better and finer than any I could ever have thought I shouldhave worn, I was at last convinced, that although I was poor Job, andalthough I did not, perhaps, deserve all the happiness I felt, that itwas not a dream, but real, plain truth. "As it is so," I said again, "Imust do my duty as well as I am able, for that is the only way a poor doglike me can show his gratitude."

  After breakfast, I accompanied Sir John to the place of my future home. Aquarter of an hour's walk brought us to a gentle hill, which, similar tothe one whereon the mansion itself was situated, sloped downwards to thewater. One or two trees, like giant sentinels, stood near the top, andbehind them waved the branches of scores more, while beyond for many amile spread the dark mass of the thick forest of which I have more thanonce made mention. Nearly at the foot of the hill, beneath a spreadingoak, was a cottage, a very picture of peace and neatness; and as wepaused, Sir John pointed out the peculiarities of the position andexplained my duties. It appeared that this part of his grounds was notedfor a delicate kind of bird, much esteemed by himself and his family, andwhich was induced to flock there by regular feeding and the quiet of thesituation. This fact was, however, perfectly well known to others besidesSir John; and as these others were just as fond of the birds as himself,they were accustomed to pay nightly visits to the forbidden ground, andcarry off many of the plumpest fowl. The wood was known to shelter many awandering fox, who, although dwelling so near the city, could not beprevailed on to abandon their roguish habits and live in a civilisedmanner. These birds were particularly to their taste, and it required thegreatest agility to keep off the cunning invaders, for, though they hadno great courage, and would not attempt to resist a bold dog, theyfrequently succeeded in eluding all vigilance and getting off with theirbooty. Often, too, a stray cur, sometimes two or three together, from thelowest classes of the population, would, when moved by hunger, make adescent on the preserves, and battles of a fierce character not seldomoccurred, for, unlike the foxes, they were never unwilling to fight, butshowed the utmost ferocity when attacked, and were often the aggressors.But those were not all. The grounds were exactly opposite that part ofthe city of Caneville known as the "Mews," and occupied by the catpopulation, who have a general affection for most birds, and held thesepreserved ones in particular esteem. Fortunately, the water thatinterposed was a formidable barrier for the feline visitors, as fewpussies like to wet their feet; but, by some means or other, theyfrequently found their way across, and by their dexterity, swiftness, andthe quiet of their movements, committed terrible ravages among the birds.When Sir John had told me all this, he led the way down the hill to thesmall house under the tree. It had two rooms, with a kennel at the back.The front room was the parlour, and I thought few places could have beenso neat and pretty. The back was the sleeping-room, and the windows ofboth looked out upon the soft grass and trees, and showed a fine view ofthe river.

  "This," said Sir John, "is your house, and I hope you will be happy in ityourself, and be of service to me. You will not be alone, forthere"--pointing to the kennel at the back--"sleeps an old servant of thefamily, who will assist you in your duties."

  He then called out "Nip," when a rumbling noise was heard from thekennel, and directly after a lame hound came hopping round to the door.The sight of this old fellow was not pleasant at first, for his hair wasa grizzly brown and his head partly bald; his eyes were sunk, and,indeed, almost hidden beneath his bushy brows, and his cheeks hung downbelow his mouth and shook with every step he took. I soon found out thathe was as singular in his manners as in his looks, and had such a disliketo talking that it was a rare thing for him to say more than two or threewords at one time. Sir John
told him who I was, and desired him to obeymy orders; commanded us both to be good friends and not quarrel, asstrange dogs were rather apt to do; and after some more advice left us toourselves, I in a perfect dream of wonderment, and "Nip" sitting winkingat me in a way that I thought more funny than agreeable.

  After we had sat looking at one another for some time, I said, just tobreak the silence, which was becoming tiresome--

  "A pretty place this!"

  Nip winked.

  "Have you been here long?" I asked.

  "Think so," said Nip.

  "All alone?" I inquired.

  "Almost," Nip replied.

  "Much work to do, eh?" I asked.

  The only answer Nip gave to this was by winking first one eye and thenthe other, and making his cheeks rise and fall in a way so droll that Icould not help laughing, at which Nip seemed to take offence, for withoutwaiting for any farther questions he hopped out of the room, and I sawhim, soon after, crawling softly up the hill, as if on the look out forsome of the thieves Sir John had spoken of.

  I, too, went off upon the watch. I took my way along the bank, I glidedamong the bushes, ran after a young fox whose sharp nose I spied pointedup a tree, but without catching him, and finally returned to my new homeby the opposite direction. Nip came in shortly after, and we sat down toour dinner.

  Although this portion of my life was, perhaps, the happiest I have everknown, it has few events worth relating. The stormy scenes which are sopainful to the dog who suffers them, are those which are most interestingto the hearer; while the quiet days, that glide peacefully away, are solike each other, that an account of one of them is a description of many.A few hours can be so full of action, as to require volumes to describethem properly, and the history of whole years can be written on a singlepage.

  I tried, as I became fixed in my new position, to do what I had resolvedwhen I entered it; namely, my duty. I think I succeeded; I certainlyobtained my master's praise, and sometimes my own; for I had a habit oftalking to myself, as Nip so rarely opened his mouth, and would praise orblame myself just as I thought I deserved it. I am afraid I was notalways just, but too often said, "Well done, Job; that's right, Job;"when I ought to have called out, "You're wrong, Job; you ought to feel,Job, that you're wrong;" but it is not so easy a thing to be just, evento ourselves.

  One good lesson I learned in that little cottage, which has been of useto me all my life through; and that was, to be very careful about judgingdogs by their looks. There was old Nip: when I first saw him, I thought Ihad never beheld such an ugly fellow in my life, and could not imaginehow anything good was to be expected from so cross a looking, ragged oldhound. And yet nothing could be more beautiful, more loveable than dearold Nip, when you came to know him well. All the misfortunes he hadsuffered, all the knocks he had received in passing through the world,seemed to have made his heart more tender; and he was so entirelygood-natured, that in all the time we were together, I never heard himsay an unkind thing of living or dead animal. I believe his very silencewas caused by the goodness of his disposition; for as he could not helpseeing many things he did not like, but could not alter, he preferredholding his tongue to saying what could not be agreeable. Dear, dear Nip!if ever it should be resolved to erect a statue of goodness in the publicplace of Caneville, they ought to take you for a model; you would not beso pleasant to look on as many finer dogs, but when once known, yourimage would be loved, dear Nip, as I learned to love the rugged original.

  It can be of no interest to you to hear the many fights we had inprotecting the property of our master during the first few moons after myarrival. Almost every night we were put in danger of lives, for the curscame in such large numbers that there was a chance of our being pulled topieces in the struggle. Yet we kept steady watch; and after a time,finding, I suppose, that we were never sleeping at our post, and that ourcourage rose with every fresh attack, the thieves gradually gave up openwar, and only sought to entrap the birds by artifice; and, like the foxesand cats, came sneaking into the grounds, and trusted to the swiftness oftheir legs rather than the sharpness of their teeth when Nip or I caughtsight of them.

  And thus a long, long time passed away. I had, meanwhile, grown to myfull size, and was very strong and active: not so stout as I have got inthese later years, when my toes sometimes ache with the weight whichrests on them, but robust and agile, and as comely, I believe, as mostdogs of my age and descent.

  The uniformity of my life, which I have spoken of as making me so happy,was interrupted only by incidents that did not certainly cause medispleasure. I renewed my acquaintance with "Fida," no longer _little_Fida, for she had grown to be a beautiful lady-dog. Our second meetingwas by chance, but we talked like old friends, so much had our first doneto remove all strangeness. I don't think the next time we saw each otherwas quite by accident. If I remember rightly, it was not; and we oftenmet afterwards. We agreed that we should do all we could to assist oneanother, though what _I_ could do for so rich and clever a lady-dog Icould not imagine, although I made the promise very willingly. On herpart, she did for me what I can never sufficiently repay. She taught meto read, lending me books containing strange stories of far-offcountries, and beautiful poetry, written by some deep dogs of the city;she taught me to write; and in order to exercise me, made me composeletters to herself, which Nip carried to her, bringing me back suchanswers as would astonish you; for when you thought you had got to theend, they began all over again in another direction. Besides these, shetaught me to speak and act properly, in the way that well-behaved dogsought to do; for I had been used to the company of such low and pooranimals, that it was not surprising if I should make sad blunders inspeech and manners. I need not say that she taught me to love herself,for that you will guess I had done from the first day I saw her, when Iwas wet from my jump in the river, and she spoke to me such flatteringwords. No; she could not teach me more love for herself than I alreadyknew. That lesson had been learnt _by heart_, and at a single sitting.

  Our peaceful days were drawing to a close. Sir John died. Lady Bull livedon for a short time longer. Many said, when she followed, that she ateherself to death; but I mention the rumour in order to deny it, for I amsure it was grief that killed her. It is a pity some dogs will repeateverything they hear, without considering the mischief such tittle-tattlemay occasion--although it has been asserted by many that in this case thefalse intelligence came from the Cats, who had no great affection forpoor Lady Bull. Whatever the cause, she died, and with her the employmentof poor Nip and myself. The young Bulls who came into possession of theestate, sold the preserves to a stranger; and as the new proprietorintended killing off the birds, and did not require keepers, there beingno longer anything for them to do, we were turned upon the world.

  The news came upon us so suddenly, that we were quite unprepared for it;and we were, besides, so far from being rich, that it was a ratherserious matter to find out how we should live until we could get someother occupation. I was not troubled for myself; for, though I had beenused to good feeding lately, I did not forget the time when I was oftenforced to go the whole day with scarce a bit to eat; but the thought ofhow poor old Nip would manage gave me some pain.

  Having bid adieu to the peaceful cottage, where we had spent such happytimes, we left the green fields and pleasant trees and proceeded to thetown, where, after some difficulty, we found a humble little house whichsuited our change of fortune. Here we began seriously to muse over whatwe should do. I proposed making a ferry-boat of my back, and, stationingmyself at the waterside near the "Mews," swim across the river with suchcats as required to go over and did not like to walk as far as where theboat was accustomed to be. By these means I calculated on making enoughmoney to keep us both comfortably. Nip thought not. He said that the catswould not trust me--few cats ever did trust the dogs--and then, though hedid not dislike cats, not at all, for he knew a great many very sensiblecats, and very good ones too, he did not like the idea of seeing hisfriend walked over by cats or
dogs, or any other animal, stranger ordomestic. Besides, there were other objections. Strong as I was, I couldnot expect, if I made a boat of myself, that I could go on and on withoutwanting repair any more than a real boat; but where was the carpenter toput _me_ to rights, or take out _my_ rotten timbers and put in freshones. No; that would not do; we must think of something else.

  It must not be imagined that Nip made all this long speech in one breath,or in a dozen breaths. It took him a whole morning to explain himselfeven as clearly as I have tried to do; and perhaps I may still havewritten what he did not quite intend, for his words came out with a jump,one or two at a time, and often so suddenly that it would have startled adog who was not used to his manner.

  Nip himself made the next proposal, and though I did not exactly like it,there seemed so little choice, that I at once agreed to do my part in thescheme. Nip was the son of a butcher, and though he had followed thetrade but a short time himself, he was a very good judge of meat. He,therefore, explained that if I would undertake to become the seller, hewould purchase and prepare the meat, and he thought he could make it looknice enough to induce the dogs to come and buy.

  Our stock of money being very small, a house-shop was out of thequestion, so there was no chance of getting customers from the betterclass,--a thing which I regretted, as I had little taste for the societyof the vulgar; but, again, as it could not be helped, the only thing todo was to make the best of it. A wheelbarrow was therefore bought by Nip,with what else was necessary to make me a complete "walking butcher," andhaving got in a stock of meat the day before, Nip cut, and contrived, andshaped, and skewered, in so quiet and business-like a way as proved heknew perfectly well what he was about. With early morning, after Nip hadarranged my dress with the same care as he had bestowed upon the barrowand its contents, I wheeled my shop into the street, and amid a greatmany winks of satisfaction from my dear old friend, I went trudgingalong, bringing many a doggess to the windows of the little houses by myloud cry of "Me-eet! Fresh me-eet!"

  As I was strange in my new business, and did not feel quite at my ease, Ifancied every dog I met, and every eye that peeped from door andcasement, stared at me in a particular manner, as if they knew I wasplaying my part for the first time, and were watching to see how I didit. The looks that were cast at my meat, were all, I thought, intendedfor me, and when a little puppy leered suspiciously at the barrow as hewas crossing the road, no doubt to see that it did not run over him, Icould only imagine that he was thinking of the strange figure I made,and my awkward attempt at getting a living. Feelings like these no doubtalarm every new beginner; but time and habit, if they do not reconcile usto our lot, will make it at least easier to perform, and thus, after sometwo hours' journeying through the narrow lanes of Caneville, I did whatmy business required of me with more assurance than when I first set out.

  One thing, however, was very distasteful to me, and I could so littlebear to see it, that I even spoke of it aloud, and ran the risk ofoffending some of my customers. I mean the _way_ in which several of thedogs devoured the meat after they had bought it. You will think that whenthey had purchased their food and paid for it, they had a right to eat itas they pleased: I confess it; nothing can be more true; but still, myideas had changed so of late, that it annoyed me very much to see many ofthese curs, living as they did in the most civilized city in this part ofthe world, gnawing their meat as they held it on the ground with theirpaws, and growling if any one came near as though there was no such thingas a police in Caneville. I forgot when I was scolding these poor dogs,that perhaps they had never been taught better, and deserved pity ratherthan blame. I forgot too that I had myself behaved as they did before Ihad been blessed with happier fortune, and that, even then, if I hadlooked into my own conduct, I should have found many things more worthyof censure than these poor curs' mode of devouring their food.

  The lane I was passing along was cut across by a broad and open street,the favourite promenade of the fashionables of Caneville. There might beseen about mid-day, when the sun was shining, troops of well-dressed dogsand a few superior cats, some attended by servants, others walking alone,and many in groups of two or three, the male dogs smoking cigars, theladies busily talking, while they looked at and admired one another'spretty dresses and bonnets.

  By the time I had got thus far, I had become tolerably used to my newwork, and could imagine that when the passers-by cast their eyes on mybarrow, their glances had more to do with the meat than with myself. ButI did not like the idea of crossing the road where such grand dogs wereshowing off their finery. After a little inward conversation with myself,which finished with my muttering between my teeth, "Job, brother Job, Iam ashamed of you! where is your courage, brother Job? Go on; go on;" Iwent on without further delay.

  I had got half-way across, and was already beginning to praise myself forthe ease with which I turned my barrow in and out of the crowd withoutrunning over the toes of any of the puppies, who were far too muchengaged to look after them themselves when a dirty little cur stopped meto buy a penn'orth of meat. I set down my load just in time to avoidupsetting a very fat and splendidly dressed doggess, who must, if I hadrun the wheel into her back, and it was very near it, have gone headforemost into the barrow. This little incident made me very hot, and Idid not get cooler when my customer squatted down in the midst of thewell-dressed crowd, and began tearing his meat in the way I have beforedescribed as being so unpleasant. At the same moment another dog by hisside, with a very ragged coat, and queer little face, held up his paw toask for "a little bit," as he was very hungry, "only a little bit." Ishould, probably, have given him a morsel, as I remembered the time whenI wanted it as much as he seemed to do, but for an unexpected meeting.Turning my head at a rustling just behind me, I saw a well-dressed dog,with a hat of the last fashion placed so nicely on his head that itseemed to be resting on the bridge of his nose, the smoke from a cigarissuing gracefully from his mouth, and his head kept in an uprightposture by a very stiff collar which ran round the back of his neck, andentirely prevented his turning round his head without a great deal ofcare and deliberation, while a tuft of hair curled nicely from beneathhis chin, and gave a fine finish to the whole dog. But though I havespoken of this Caneville fashionable, it was not he who caused therustling noise, or who most attracted my attention. Tripping besidehim, with her soft paw beneath his, was a lady-dog, whose very dress toldher name, at least in my eyes, before I saw her face. I felt sure that itwas Fida, and I wished myself anywhere rather than in front of thatbarrow with an ill-bred cur at my feet gnawing the penn'orth of meat hehad just bought of me. Before I had time to catch up my load and depart,a touch on my shoulder, so gentle that it would not have hurt a fly, andyet which made me tremble more than if it had been the grip of a giantanimal, forced me again to turn. It _was_ Fida; as beautiful and as freshas ever, who gave me a sweet smile of recognition and encouragement asshe passed with her companion, and left me standing there as stupid anduncomfortable as if I had been caught doing something wrong.

  A CANINE BUTCHER]

  You will say that it was very ridiculous in me to feel so ashamed anddisconcerted at being seen by her or any other dog or doggess in mycommon dress, and following an honest occupation. I do not deny it. Andin telling you these things I have no wish to spare myself, I have noexcuse to offer, but only to relate events and describe feelingsprecisely as they were.