“Hey, easy. It’s okay, really,” she said. She put her arm around him and nuzzled him with her mind at the same time.
Rakan flung himself onto June, sending them both back into the snow. “I hate being alone all the time,” he managed to say through his clenched teeth. His arms jerked around her, holding her tighter than any human could have tolerated.
“I know,” answered June gently, willing him to relax. “I know. But you don’t have to be alone.”
Rakan eased his grip. If only he could belong to a Cairn. Then he’d be okay.
“You could tell Anna,” continued June. “You could be with her. She would accept you for who you are.”
“I can’t,” he groaned. Even if he wanted to. Rakan began to shake as he forced himself not to morph, but his rök was beginning to take on a mind of its own.
“Start by telling her about your rök.”
Rakan gritted his teeth. “She’ll never understand—” Rakan threw himself back into June’s arms. And even if she did, he’d be exposing her to too much danger.
“Pemba? June? Why are you guys rolling around in the snow? Are you… oh my god—” Anna’s voice cracked.
“No,” Rakan said, scrambling after her. Her pain stabbed him and he cried out in anguish. He exploded. He burst into his dragon form and thrashed at the mountain in wild fury. Blindly, he twirled around, his rök flying free. He saw Anna running away and the thrill of the chase overtook him. He needed to catch her. To possess her. He leaped into the air and stretched his wings, his body tingling in anticipation. In a desperate attempt to gain control, Rakan bellowed in rage and threw himself to the ground. But his rök was too wild. He flew back up and spotted Anna again. He torpedoed down towards her and then straightened, his claws stretched out for the final catch when a massive indigo dragon slammed into him. Howling in rage, Rakan turned on T’eng Sten. But the older dragon already had him by the throat and was digging his black claws into Rakan’s hide. Rakan thrashed, but T’eng Sten only closed his jaws tighter, growling a low warning.
Suddenly, Rakan realized what he was doing and gave up the fight. His rök whimpered under the Kairök’s guidance, but eventually it settled and returned under Rakan’s control.
“Rough day, eh?” said T’eng Sten, releasing Rakan from his hold as they morphed back to human.
“What did I do to Anna? Is she okay?” he asked quietly, dreading the answer.
T’eng Sten didn’t answer right away. “She will be,” he said quietly. “Kakivak is tending to her. I was with Dvara when she felt you go wild. I was lucky to get here before you touched her. But it was hard to maintain the shield to keep your bellows from echoing out all over the mountain. So I think she heard at least part of our fight.” T’eng Sten paused. “She might have seen you in your dragon form even if Angalaan tried to cover us both with a reflective shield that humans can’t normally see through. The best thing to do would be to erase her memory.”
“No,” Rakan said, lunging for T’eng Sten. “Leave her alone.”
T’eng Sten flipped Rakan onto his back. “Get a grip. She can’t see Kakivak and he won’t go into her mind unless I tell him to. He’s just calming her down.”
Rakan groaned and lay back in the snow. “I guess we’re even now.”
“Well, technically, no. I saved Anna’s life. Not yours.”
Rakan wished he could melt and disappear. He slid his mind into the mountain below, healing the gashes he had inflicted upon it. He felt June waiting for him not far from the bus where everyone was already gathered. She was trembling.
“I should shift back to June.”
“No. I’m not cleaning up a second mess.”
Rakan stood and faced the Kairök. “I’ll be fine.” A wave of nausea rolled up from the viscous poison. Without waiting for T’eng Sten’s approval, he shifted to where June was waiting.
June gave a little jump of relief and hugged him. “I was so worried. Are you okay? Is Anna okay? Did you see her?”
Rakan shook his head and tried to speak, but a second wave of nausea rolled up and he groaned involuntarily. The poison was more viral this time.
June wrapped her mind around him. “Again? How does the neutralized poison change?” She slipped into him and put the newly active poison into suspension. “Is it when you have a bad morph?”
Rakan heaved a frustrated sigh of relief. How could he ever talk to her about what his mother was planning without killing himself? “No. Only when I do something that I’m not supposed to do.”
June stared at him. “That’s inhumane. Who would do such a thing?”
“My mother—” Rakan said, choking on the word.
“Hush. Stop talking or you’re going to kill me too,” June said, diving in once more. “I’m not strong enough to keep doing this. We need to find a way to get it out. What a bitch.”
Rakan leaned his head briefly against June’s. “Thanks.” He transformed his clothes and stepped into his skis. If T’eng Sten’s shields hadn’t worked, Anna had just seen him morph and charge after her.
“I need to find Anna,” he said, taking off. Nothing else mattered anymore.
* * *
Anna arrived late for handball. She didn’t want to face June. Or Pemba. She shook with anger, wishing neither one had ever shown up in Tromso. But the image of Pemba and June lying in the snow together was burnt into her mind. They were here. And they were together. She leaned against the water fountain, trying to get herself enough under control to go join the rest of the team.
She felt Pemba approach her. “Go away,” she said, without turning around.
“Can we talk, please?”
“No.”
“I lost control. My… nature… took over.”
Anna spun around, hatred flaring to new heights. “You just don’t get it, do you? I don’t care what you are.” Anna gripped the water fountain behind her, “What matters to me is that you lied to me. You’ve both lied to me.” Anna struggled to walk away calmly, holding back her tears until she was in the locker room.
“Anna,” June said quietly, coming in a few minutes later. “Are you okay?”
Anna spun around to face June. “Am I okay? I see you rolling around with Pemba in the snow and you ask me if I’m okay?” Anna stood and threw her bag into her locker. “I thought you were my friend.”
“No. I meant about seeing Pemba become…”
“Seeing Pemba become what?” A flicker of doubt crossed her mind. She wasn’t sure what she had seen. It was fuzzy, half hidden. She pushed it away. It didn’t matter. He didn’t care about her anyway. And neither did June. “Leave me alone.”
June came closer. “I was just trying to help him.”
“By making out with him?”
“We didn’t make out, Anna. Nothing is going on between us.”
“Yeah, right.” Anna slammed her locker shut. “I don’t need people like you or Pemba in my life. And I bet Erling doesn’t either.”
“It’s not what you think.” June blocked Anna from going out. “Pemba and I—”
“Can get lost together.” Anna pushed June out of the way and stormed out. But she didn’t want to face the team. Or see Pemba in the bleachers. Watching June. Anna leaned against the wall. That was why he had never kissed her, because he had always been in love with June. She was such an idiot. The tears flowed freely.
Anna opened the door to the weight room and flicked on the light. Only to see Ulf making out with a black-haired girl in the middle of the room, his hand cupping her breast.
“What on Earth are you doing?” Anna hissed, trying to place who the girl was. There was something familiar about her erratic energy.
“Oh. Is this your girlfriend?” asked the girl, straightening her clothes. She looked like Dawa, but her face was more triangular and her eyes were a hypnotic honey yellow.
Anna stood perfectly still. She recognized the girl’s energy. It was Kariaksuq. And there was nothing shadowy about her.
; “You have no reason to be here,” said Ulf, striding out of the room. “You’re late for practice. Let’s go.”
Anna slammed the door behind him. “I don’t know who you are or what you want,” she hissed, “but you need to leave.” Orange sparks flashed around Anna and she knew Pemba’s shield was still in place. “Now.” Because as much as she was glad to know the shield still worked, she didn’t want to face Pemba again.
“I was just having some fun,” said Kariaksuq, raising an eyebrow and beginning to fade in front of Anna’s eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?”
Chapter 19
Trying to Fix It
RAKAN LEANED AGAINST THE PARKING METER that was on the street corner behind the library. Anna was inside. She had been avoiding him all week. His eyes wandered down past the painted wooden buildings and out across the fjord. He needed to talk to her. To make sure she was alright. He looked back at the modern building that always reminded him of a dragon in flight with its undulating roof supported only by walls of glass. But would she listen to him? Rakan watched as the half-melted mound of snow near the point of the roof that touched the ground slowly became pink, and then fuchsia. The artificial light of the library spilled out into the cobalt sky, as if urging the building to take flight.
Slowly, he pushed off the parking meter. He walked down the street to the main entrance, hoping she wouldn’t leave as soon as she felt him come near the way she had been doing at school these past few days. Rakan walked in and felt Anna stiffen, two floors above. But she didn’t move. He walked up the hanging metal staircase and paused on the first floor landing. The sky had darkened, becoming nearly indigo, but he could still make out the majestic form of the sleeping mountain they called Tinden. It shimmered in the twilight, curled up on the other side of the fjord as the city lights glittered playfully on the black water like puppies waiting for their mother to awaken.
Rakan turned and walked up the second flight of stairs, each step heavier than the one before. Had June been right when she said that Anna would’ve been able to accept him for what he was? Was it still possible? He glanced at her, curled up in a big red chair, her books stacked up on the extra-large arm rest. She was facing Tinden, and stiffly aware of his presence. Her blonde ponytail twitched nervously, like an animal judging when to flee. Rakan felt a wave of nausea, but couldn’t tell if it was the poison or his emotions. Or both.
He approached slowly and sat in the armchair next to Anna, his hands folded on his lap. “Can we talk, Anna. Please?” His voice was barely a whisper and when she didn’t answer, he wondered if she hadn’t heard him.
“We have nothing to talk about,” she finally said, her voice as hard and cold as it was quiet. “Everything you’ve ever told me was a lie.”
Rakan cringed. More than she knew. “Not everything,” he began, but the ice-cold hatred in Anna’s eyes cut him short. Had she been a dragon, she would’ve blasted him out the window. Rakan dropped his eyes. “Can you just tell me why you’re so angry?”
“What?” Her voice echoed through the library before she caught herself. She flung her legs to the ground and threw her books into her bag, her hands shaking.
“I can explain everything, if you’ll let me.” Rakan took a step towards her, unable to tell if she was angry because of June or because she had seen him morph.
Anna flung her bag over her shoulder, hitting him in the chest. “Anything you’d say would just be a lie covering another lie.” She struggled to get her boots on, her bag thumping back to the ground.
“Anna,” he said, reaching out to her. “What did you see?”
Anna recoiled from his touch as if he was poisonous. “Don’t touch me. Don’t ever touch me. And don’t ever talk to me again.” She half-ran down the stairs, fighting with her coat as she went.
He walked to the wall of glass and watched her take off down the street. His rök banged against his chest, urging him to go after her. To tell her everything whether or not she had actually seen him morph into a dragon. His eyes lingered on her trail that sparkled faintly. Her trail was changing. Becoming easier to see than that of other humans.
He fought the desire to punch the glass. His fists shook as his nails dug into his palms. Without even checking to make sure no one was watching him, he shifted home. He had lost the one thing in life he cared the most about, and he hadn’t even been smart enough to know it before it was too late.
* * *
Anna sat with her back to the wall-sized photographs of the current exhibit at the Perspective Museum, glaring at her coffee. But even so, she could still feel the smiling faces of the Asian-Norwegian couples mocking her with their happiness. Had she known that the exhibit was about Asian women who had married Norwegian men she wouldn’t have come. Even if the stark, modern café was probably the best place to be alone. None of her friends ever came here and her mom was still at work. And Ulf was screwing around with Kariaksuq in the weight room. Anna slammed the mug on the white table, splashing coffee all over its surface. She glanced quickly around the café that was filled with a group of tourists. No one had noticed.
She picked up her napkin and froze. The coffee looked like a flying dragon. She wiped the table quickly, her hand shaking.
“Can I join you?” asked Haakon.
Anna flew back, her metal chair clattering on the white tiles. The people at the next table looked up and Anna quickly picked up the chair. Haakon sat without waiting for an answer. Anna tried to act nonchalant. But she wanted to scream and run away. Haakon’s dark brown eyes shimmered like bronze in the harsh light of the museum cafe.
“You saw him, didn’t you?” asked Haakon without breaking the eye contact.
Anger uncoiled inside her. “Who?” she asked between clenched teeth. But she knew who he was talking about. Even though she didn’t want to.
“Pemba,” he answered. “When he morphed.”
Anna’s cheeks turned to ash. He knew. She glanced at the exit. Should she break for it before she had to swear not to say anything again? She let her mind reach out as far as she could, just in case Torsten or Liv were lurking nearby. But she couldn’t feel them. He was alone. Or appeared to be. Her gaze narrowed. He was probably like Red, hiding his energy.
Haakon sat quietly, as if sensing her mistrust and letting her scrutinize him. He looked even more like a rock than usual. Quiet and solid. And implacable.
Anna sipped what was left of her now cold coffee. “What makes you think I saw something?”
“Because I felt him morph,” he said as matter-of-factly as if he had been talking about snow conditions.
Anna put the cup down. She leaned forward. “But how can you know what that feels like?”
“Because I’ve felt others do it,” he answered after a long pause.
Anna stifled a choke. Torsten. Kariaksuq. “Liv?”
Haakon gave a curt nod. “Liv is different. But, yes, she can morph too.” His voice dropped to a confidential whisper. “I thought the world was about to end when I saw her do it for the first time.” He glanced up at her. “I just wanted to see if you were okay.”
Anna relaxed a little. Maybe he didn’t want to bind her answer in some weird promise. “When did you first see her… morph?”
“Years ago.” His eyes burned into hers. “But my situation was different from yours.”
The image of Pemba rolling around in the snow with June flashed across her mind and she cringed involuntarily. Of course her situation was different. She wasn’t even dating Pemba. She grabbed the daisy that was decorating the table and crushed it in her fist. How had she let herself think he cared?
“Anna,” said Haakon, once again interrupting her thoughts. “Pemba is playing games with you.” His voice was hard. “He’s not worth your time.”
“Neither is June,” she responded in the same tone.
“June is none of your business,” said Haakon so quietly that she almost couldn’t hear him. But the metallic tone of his voice made it perf
ectly clear that she had trespassed on a subject better left alone.
Anna sat perfectly still, no longer daring to breathe. Haakon looked like a crouching tiger. And she was his prey.
“Frankly,” he said, each syllable distinct, “the less you know, the better off you are.” His eyes bore into hers. “For your own safety I should erase your memory of everything that happened the other day in the mountains.”
Anna stood and her chair clattered again to the ground. “No. Never,” she hissed. As much as she wished the day had never happened, she would never consent to go back to living a lie and believing that Pemba cared about her when he didn’t.
Haakon’s jaw twitched. “Then leave before I change my mind.”
* * *
Rakan sat half-perched on a stool in the Driv, the bar that was conveniently located just across the street from Ulf’s studio apartment. The first band had finished playing and the second one was setting up, but Pemba didn’t notice them anymore than he noticed the untouched glass of beer that was placed in front of him. Kariaksuq had been spending more and more time with Ulf. Rakan held his Maii-a in his hand that was hidden under the bar. He transformed it to feel like Anna. He knew without looking that it was a pale cornflower blue. He changed it into sphere. And then a pyramid. A cylinder. A cone. He flicked it through so many different shapes in quick-fire succession that it felt like a pulsing ball. The frenzied motion soothed him.
His mind roamed back up to Ulf’s apartment. Kariaksuq had handcuffed a more than willing Ulf to his bed. Rakan snarled. He didn’t care what Kariaksuq did to Ulf, but he knew that she wouldn’t be playing with him repeatedly unless there was an ulterior motive. Dragons like Kariaksuq never used the same human twice. They possessed them and left them.
The only motive Rakan could see was to get somehow at Dvara through Anna. But he couldn’t figure out how she planned to do it. Rakan changed his Maii-a back to his own orange and placed it on its black metal string. Ulf was a fool. He was completely under Kariaksuq’s power. At this point, he’d do anything she told him to do. Including hurt Anna.
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