The Girl of Sand & Fog

by Ward, Susan

  I bite my lower lip. I can tell by how they feel that my eyes are sparkling. “She’s starting to grow on me.”

  And without warning, I pull out of Bobby’s arms and run into the house.

  I curl into Bobby, holding him close to my heart as I stare out the windows at the faint wash of morning blue. We pretty much haven’t left the bed since yesterday evening. Hours of lovemaking, talking, laughing. We even ate a light supper between the sheets. He is again my best friend and lover in a way so much richer than I have ever known.

  “Caroline can cover for me for three days,” he says softly into my hair. “How long can you take off?”

  “As long as you want me to.”

  “Good. I’ve got plans for you.”

  “You do? Better than what we just did?”

  His smile is a hint excited and definitely secretive.

  I sit up in bed. “OK, Bobby Rowan, what are you up to?”

  He shrugs. “Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. What do you want?”

  I laugh. “I want to call work and tell them I’ll be out three days and then I want to have my way with you.”

  I grab my cell phone and climb from the sheets. “I’m going to get a bottle of water. Do you want anything?”

  He turns to lie on his hip and the sight of him whispers through my flesh like a heady caress: gorgeous green eyes; kind features; golden tanned skin; and messy, long chestnut hair.

  “Just you,” he says.

  “You’ve got me, for as long as you want.”

  I hit the number for the office, then the speaker button, and go down the hallway toward the kitchen. As I pass Tiki, I toss her a smile. I think she’s getting used to me. Those soulful dog eyes definitely look less worried and standoffish.

  I go to the fridge and take out a chilled bottle of water.

  “KKK Productions,” Veronica announces.

  “Hey, Veronica, I’m going to be taking a few days off. How did everything go with the pitch yesterday?”

  “Justin e-mailed you. Didn’t you get it?”

  I laugh. “Sorry. Wasn’t checking work e-mail yesterday.”

  “Everything went well. Very well.”

  “Good. Tell Justin I really appreciate all he’s doing and I’ll be back on Monday. Bye.”

  I click off the phone and go back to the refrigerator for a yogurt. Ding. I stare at my phone to find it lit up. I swipe it to unlock and find that my web-hosting icon has a notification. I tap it open.

  Love-struck Trainer: Come back to bed.

  All at once, everything inside me is running hot, cold, furious and delirious. It can’t be. It can’t be…

  I race down the hall into the bedroom. Bobby is sitting against the pillows, phone in hand, looking wickedly amused by me.

  “You…you…” is all I can sputter.

  He starts to laugh, and I grab a pillow and hit him with it. He only laughs harder.

  Frustrated, overjoyed, exhausted and suspicious, I sink down on the bed beside him.

  “How did you know that was my blog?”

  He rakes a hand through his shoulder-length hair. “The web-hosting company is linked to my credit card. You billed it to me.”

  Oh dear. I don’t know whether to be angry or to laugh.

  “Why did you start chatting with me as some sort of anonymous cyber fan?”

  He touches my cheek with a fingertip. “I missed you. I wanted to know if I still had a chance with you.”

  OK, forgiven. Still, I hold back my smile.

  “I love you, Kaley.”

  The smile fills my face. “I love you, too.”

  He reaches into a drawer and removes a velvet box. He opens it. Nestled inside is an engagement ring.

  “Kaley Stanton, will you marry me?”

  Laughing and crying, I fling myself into his arms and kiss him fiercely. “Yes, Bobby. I will marry you. I would marry you this second if you wanted me to.”

  He slips the ring onto my finger. He places a light kiss there that runs all the way to my heart. “How do you feel about today? In Vegas?”

  My eyes widen. “You mean just us? No family? No friends?”

  “Just us, Kaley. The way it has always been.”

  The accidental encounter that led to our lunch together. Caroline covering his chores with the dogs. The ring. He planned this, each part, and I followed trustingly and it worked out brilliantly.

  “You planned every part of the last two days and you were pretty sure you were going to get your way.”

  His smile is roguish and sweetly charming at once. “Not sure. Hopeful.”

  I try not to smile back at his self-satisfied grin. “I bet you think you’ve got me all trained and ready to do exactly what you want me to, Bobby Rowan.”

  “You don’t train your Fembot, Kaley. You let her go, if that’s what she needs, and hope she comes back to you.”

  I start to say, “I’m not a Fembot,” but Bobby turns me beneath him on the mattress, his kiss traps the words inside me, and I realize it’s better his way.

  Part Three

  “Kaley”

  CHAPTER 29

  I wake with a start, breathing heavily. Crap, it was only a dream. A cold blast of reality hits me. I’m in Australia and my life is still a mess.

  I try to focus my thoughts. My head feels heavy. I can’t lift it. I’m clammy and weak. God, I feel awful. Why do I feel awful?

  I open my eyes.

  Oh shit.

  This doesn’t look like my room.

  Where am I?

  I sit up. My eyes widen. Graham Carson is stretched out asleep on the small sofa in the bedroom. Oh no, what did I do last night? I lift the blanket. My clothes are gone, everything but my panties and bra. He’s still wearing his black bodyguard attire from the night before.

  Why am I half-dressed and he’s still fully clothed?

  I look at the clock. Twelve noon. My insides turn over and then my heart starts to race frantically. Twelve freaking noon. There is no way I can sneak into the penthouse without my dad knowing I slipped out last night.

  Fudge.

  I quietly climb from the bed and grab my clothes from the chair. The stench makes my nose crinkle. There’s vomit on my dress. My face scrunches up as a hazy picture of throwing up on Graham rises in my memory. These clothes are gross. I can’t wear them.

  I search the room. There. A t-shirt lying across a suitcase. I pick it up. Sniff. Clean. Definitely better than my dress. I pull it on and the hem hangs mid-thigh level. Thank God, Graham is taller than I am and a beast of a man or this would be a no bueno solution.

  I make a fast check of my bodyguard. Good, he’s still asleep. I step toward the door.

  “Stop.”

  I freeze.

  Fuck.

  I turn.

  He’s wide awake from dead asleep, standing alert and ready in front of the couch he was just snoozing on and, damn, I don’t know how I woke him.

  I stare up at him, wide-eyed. “I’m just going back to my room. I promise. You don’t need to go with me.”

  He smooths his hair with a hand. “Yes, Kaley, I do. It’s my job. You’re never alone outside of your hotel room.”

  I groan.

  “Can’t you see that it would be better for you if you don’t come with me? By the way, who gave you permission to undress me?”

  He rolls his eyes. “Your clothes were damp. They smelled. I didn’t want you smelling up my sheets. And that’s why I left the shirt lying across my bag for you to find this morning.”

  I blush. “You had no right to take off my clothes—”

  “I didn’t look, if that’s what’s bugging you.” He grins. “Not that you are not beautiful, but really, you don’t do anything for me.”

  My cheeks warm even more.

  Well, that was rude.

  His gaze shifts from me in a way that says he’s done with this discussion. He tucks in his shirt and grabs his room key and cell from a table.

  He gestures wi
th an arm. “Come on. I’ll escort you back to your room.”

  We go into the hallway and then the elevator. My body nervously bounces against the wall as I wait for him to insert the key and hit ‘P’.

  The doors close.

  I study him.

  I frown. “Aren’t you worried about showing up in the middle of the day with me dressed like this?”

  He smiles. “Not in the least.”

  It sounds like he means it.

  I arch a brow. “Well, you should be. I never know what my dad is going to do these days. Extreme about everything like he’s trying to make up in these four months having not been there. So ridiculous. I’m eighteen. I don’t need a dad or jailor.”

  Graham shakes his head. “From where I’m standing you need both.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  He shrugs.

  I stare at him expectantly. “No, I’m not going anywhere until you explain that last comment.”

  His gaze softens in a way that puts me on notice that I’m not going to like this. “You’re a smart girl, but you’re hurting and really confused right now. That makes you a danger to yourself. I know it and so does your dad and so does every guy you meet. An easy mark for any asshole on the prowl. Lots of guys dream of finding a girl who looks like you with a giant chip on her shoulder. That’s why we’re both very protective with you. Neither of us wants anything to happen to you. Your dad because he loves you. Me because I like you.”

  I flush. That was way harsh—and sweet. Harsh and sweet in a way that makes it impossible to get angry at him or ignore that his insights are damn near perfect every time.

  “If you like me, how come seeing me nude doesn’t do anything for you?” I ask flippantly to cover my emotional unsteadiness.

  His brows hitch up. “I didn’t see you nude. Not completely.” The dimples appear in his cheeks. “Besides, your dad picked me to head your security for a reason.”

  Really? Interesting. I can’t imagine what unique criteria would appeal to Alan in a bodyguard.

  “And what would that be?”

  He leans in to me and brushes my cheek with a thumb. “You have the worst instincts of any girl I’ve ever known. The way you flirt with me is cute and flattering. But you should stop it, since it’s something we both don’t want. You’re still hung up on your boyfriend. And I was selected to head your security detail for the sole reason that I’m gay.”

  Oh shit.

  I do have the worst instincts of any girl on the planet. And jeez, can my dad be any more obvious in what he thinks about me than with this?

  I’m drowning in a tidal wave of embarrassment.

  Graham shakes his head. “You’ve got to love how crazy the world is at times. I never thought I’d live to see the day when Alan Manzone wasn’t every father’s worst nightmare, but instead the number one father from hell. Still, I don’t hold anything against him. It’s what I’d do if I had a daughter as beautiful as you.”

  My entire face burns. “God, this so humiliating.”

  He makes a slight, sympathetic pout. “No, it’s not. It’s nice. Like I’ve already said, you don’t know how lucky you are. A lot of girls wish they had a father like yours. He cares. He’s here. He wants the best for you, Kaley. Whatever happened in the past is past. Meet him halfway. You won’t regret it. Give the guy a break. He’s trying.”

  The metal doors open.

  Graham motions for me to step out and I head toward the suite, wait as he opens it with his key card, and then step in.

  Empty.

  Not what I expected.

  Where is everyone?

  I turn toward Graham. “You can cut out. I can take it from here.”

  Graham nods. “Think about what I said.”

  “I will. Or at least I’ll try to.”

  He shakes his head at me.

  I lift my brows. “I said I’d try to. OK?” I smile. “Thanks for being such a cool guy last night. I’m pretty sure none of what went down in your room was in your job description when you were hired.”

  He grins with full dimples showing. “Beautiful girls getting into trouble and vomiting into trashcans. Of course it was. I’m security for a hard rock band.”

  I laugh and watch him leave the room.

  Once the door closes behind him, I drop my things on a chair and try to figure out where everyone is. I expected my dad to be waiting, ready to pounce on me. But nope.

  Maybe he doesn’t know I’ve been gone.

  Maybe he’s still out doing whatever it was he went to do last night—I cut off that thought since the endless possibilities of why he went MIA yesterday are not things I’m close to being ready to deal with.

  I’m heading toward my bedroom when I hear voices from the terrace. The doors are open and a light breeze is rustling the curtains…and damn, is that my dad’s laughter I hear?

  My emotions grow more jumbled and my anger spikes.

  He’s here so he must know I was gone all night.

  He didn’t even look for me.

  He doesn’t care, no matter what Graham says.

  More laughter. More voices from the balcony. My brothers and sister. Everyone sounds so freaking happy. It’s like they had a fucking party because I wasn’t here.

  Nope, definitely not what I expected.

  I cross the room and pull back the drape. My gaze moves swiftly around the patio—Khloe! My dad is holding Khloe. My mom is sitting close next to him, smiling. My brothers and sister are huddled around Lourdes.

  Graham’s words flitter through my memory. I can’t tell you where he is, but he’s definitely not doing anything you should blame yourself for. Your family is here and together. That’s more than most families are. Graham knew my mom had flown to Australia—that my dad disappeared to be with her—and he didn’t tell me.

  A sense of betrayal rockets through me, but it’s quickly banked by relief. If my mom is here…

  I stare. My family is together, it’s like none of the messed-up shit happened, and they look happy. What the fuck happened here last night?

  It all looks so normal—well, our version of normal, like it used to before I smashed up my parents’ universe.

  Maybe my parents are going to be OK. Maybe someday they will forgive me. Maybe things will get better between me and my dad eventually.

  I lean my cheek against the cool metal doorframe and watch them, battling back the fast rising emotion inside me.

  Maybe it’s all going to be OK.

  “Kaley!”

  I snap out of my fog to find my mom staring at me.

  My cheeks burn.

  Crap, why did I let them catch me wearing Graham’s t-shirt? Good one, Kaley.

  Damn.

  “Mom.”

  I go out onto the terrace, avoiding my dad’s gaze, and sink down close to my mom. Chrissie takes me in a big, sloppy hug. She kisses my cheek and then pulls back, smiling at me.

  “I missed you, baby girl.”

  “I missed you, too, Mom. Are you staying or are you going back home?”

  She makes a silly face at me. “Staying until we all can go home at the end of the tour together. I hope that’s all right with you.”

  “Better than all right.”

  I curl into her, letting her hold me. It feels really good to be held by my mother. We’ve been angry with each other too long. I don’t know how she does it. The anger never stays inside her. It melts away, and then we’re all good again.

  I feel my dad watching me. I look over my shoulder at him. Black eyes lock on me. My scalp prickles and my body grows warm. Shit. Mom might be cheerfully rolling with everything today, but he’s not going to.

  He’s angry.

  I turn on the chair to face him directly. Better to get this over with quickly.

  “About last night—”

  “Consider it your one mulligan,” he interrupts. “Don’t do it again. Mrs. Barton was in a panic before Graham texted her that you were all right.”


  My cheeks burn. “I’m sorry—”

  The words clog in my throat.

  The tears give way.

  Fuck, not now, not when he can see.

  His expression changes into something intense. He quickly hands Khloe to my mom and swivels around to face me. “Why are you crying, Kaley? What’s wrong? Did something happen last night? Graham said everything was fine with you.”

  “Nothing happened,” I say quickly.

  “Then why are you crying?”

  I stare up at him. Snippets of my dream flash in my head. A strange feeling of déjà vu floods me.

  “I’m just really glad Mom’s here.”

  Fuck, those aren’t the words I want to say. When I started to say I’m sorry earlier it all surged upward in me, that I haven’t apologized, not once, for all the rotten things I’ve done to him.

  I can’t meet his gaze any longer. I cover my face with my hands. The words push out of me.

  “I’m sorry, Dad. I’m sorry about what I did. The website. The videos. Your house. Even taking off last night. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. Just don’t hate me, OK? I can’t survive that. I don’t want you to hate me. I’m sorry.”

  I stare at him, pleading with my eyes.

  He looks confused and overwhelmed.

  He brushes the hair back from my face and meets my gaze directly. “I could never hate you, Kaley. I have never hated you. You are my daughter. I love you. Nothing is ever going to change that. How could you think I could ever hate you?”

  “Because I’m a terrible person. I hurt you. I hurt Mom. I hurt everyone.”

  To my shock, he pulls me into his chest, holding me in a tight circle of his arms. His muscles quiver and I feel light kisses touched across my curls.

  “You are not a terrible person, sweetheart. Look around you. We all love you. Forgive yourself, Kaley. Let go of the past. That’s what your mom and I have decided to do.”

  He starts to rock me gently. Forgive yourself and let go of the past. It sounds like something Bobby would say.

  An image of Bobby that last night before I left California rises in my head. The look in his eyes. You need to figure out, Kaley, if you want me because you love me or because you hate Alan.