A Close Connection

by Patricia Fawcett

  ‘The room’s been done,’ Nicola said, nodding at her. ‘Did you do it?’

  ‘Me and Connie.’ The girl looked worried, chewing on her lip.

  ‘It looks good. Well done.’

  ‘I couldn’t remember if I’d done the end of the toilet roll, Mrs Walker,’ the girl went on, flushed and flustered suddenly, tucking a blonde curl behind her ear. ‘So I thought I would just check.’

  ‘Thank you, it has been done and done very nicely. Tiffany, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yes, Mrs Walker.’

  ‘How are you settling in?’ She softened her voice.

  It had come to her notice lately that her brusque attitude to lowlier members of staff had not escaped Gerry Gilbert’s eagle eyes. He had spoken to her about it, at least she thought that was what he was referring to for he was the master of not quite saying what he was thinking. At any rate, he had called her into his office just after Val had been appointed to events manager, presumably to explain why she had not got the job. She was furious and had come very close to handing in her notice, but Matthew had told her not to do anything hastily and to stay cool and she was trying her damnedest to do that. She had even managed to offer smiling congratulations to Val when inside she was seething with indignation and jealousy. So the summons to Gerry Gilbert’s office came as no surprise, for he had some explaining to do.

  ‘You sent for me, Mr Gilbert?’

  ‘Ah. Nicola. There you are. Take a pew. What do you think of Val?’

  ‘She’s very nice.’ It was a pitiful response but the best she could come up with.

  ‘Yes and she will fit in very well. She’s a team player. She works well with everybody. She can adapt to both senior management and junior staff. It is important to remember that we are all part of the team. We are all in this together and often it’s how the lowliest member of the team performs that matters. Guests notice when the room maid smiles at them.’

  Sitting opposite him at his desk, she listened as he then went off at a tangent, rambling on about running a tight ship but a happy ship and steering it through muddy waters into the calm of the harbour. In other words, one of his especially incomprehensible chats, but it made her think and as she watched the newcomer Val smiling her way through the corridors, dispensing happiness in her wake, she began to understand.

  So there had to be a bit of a rethink about her own attitude and she was starting that right now with Tiffany.

  ‘I’m doing all right.’ Tiffany stood there awkwardly, duster in hand. ‘Thanks for asking.’

  Leaving her to her work, Nicola locked up the room and pocketed the key before taking the lift down to reception. She couldn’t help smiling a little at the astonishment on the girl’s face, for she may have expected a bollocking because, once the room was signed off, she should not be going back into it; toilet-roll end-pleating or no toilet-roll end-pleating. Being nice to minions was no bad thing. In fact, it made her feel rather good.

  Now that Val was starting to make her mark on the way things were run, Nicola had to acknowledge, belatedly, that all in all she was doing a good job and that the changes she had made were beneficial. Also, to her surprise, she was finding that they were getting on rather well, which she would never have anticipated at the start.

  Perhaps Gerry Gilbert knew what he was doing after all in appointing Val, whose CV did in fact read like a dream. Divorced, she was building a new life for herself and her teenage son here in the West Country and all credit to her for that. She was a chatty sort and had taken Nicola under her wing in more ways than one, a thing that a few months ago would have irritated the hell out of her.

  Now she was a little more relaxed and simply taking it in her stride and yes, perhaps she did need a few more years’ experience under her belt before she took on something more demanding.

  The important thing now was to get her marriage back to where it had once been after the last few tricky months. That Chrissie business had made more of a mark on her than it should have and she struggled for a while believing her husband’s account of it. Why had he gone to the station that day? There was still something a bit off about it all and she almost wished she could meet this woman and get it sorted out once and for all.

  Suspicion and mistrust was an ugly thing and if she wasn’t careful it would start to eat away at her and eventually destroy any trust she might have in Matthew. Her mother, despite the mess she had made of her own love life, was right about that. She had to let go of it. She had to trust Matthew as he trusted her.

  But sometimes she did catch him staring into space with an expression she could not quite fathom and that was disturbing because on those occasions she always imagined that he was thinking about Chrissie. She recalled the woman’s voice, pleasant-sounding even when she was not saying particularly nice things, and how she wished she had been more on the ball that day, but she was taken by surprise and when you are taken by surprise you can never think of the right things to say.

  She might have a chat to Paula after all. She knew she had told her mother that they didn’t get on, but she needed to know more about this Chrissie and Paula was the person who could tell her.

  It was Paula’s birthday soon, wasn’t it, and that would be the perfect excuse for her to drop by the house and give her a present. She knew just the thing. And then, once she was inside and Paula had made them a cup of tea, she could weave the conversation round in a subtle way to the subject of Chrissie.

  ‘Happy birthday! I know it is two days early but I was in town so I thought …’ Nicola stopped as Paula hugged her. It was a dutiful mother/daughter-in-law hug but it was less embarrassing than the formal greeting of a kiss on the cheek that could become so complicated with acquaintances. She had no idea what the form was these days. Was it one kiss on one cheek, a kiss on both cheeks or even three fleeting cheek kisses from one of her friends? When would it end? It was simpler when you shook hands or, in the old days, did a quick bob. She liked that idea, a quick bobbing up and down as in Jane Austen’s day.

  ‘It’s lovely to see you, Nicola. What a surprise! It’s all a bit messy. Come on in.’

  If this was her idea of messy then God help her if she came to the cottage. She was increasingly aware that she was letting standards slip and the other day for some reason she had a blitz on it; got the Dyson out and cleaned it from top to bottom so that even Matthew noticed.

  She handed over some flowers and the present, telling Paula that she wasn’t to open it before her birthday so that there would be at least one surprise.

  ‘Thank you. How exciting.’ Paula took the present, a beautiful pashmina expertly wrapped by the lady in the shop, and put it aside. ‘Alan always gets me perfume, which is very nice of course but hardly a surprise although, as you get older, you start to dread birthdays.’

  She bustled off, searching for a vase for the flowers whilst Nicola waited in the lounge. There was some new furniture, she noticed, a new three-piece suite in cream leather – not to her taste – and a new television, one of those flat-screen things that just managed to stay the right side of good taste by not being too enormous.

  She had worked it out on the way here what she was going to say, how she was going to gently get her to open up about Chrissie but in the event, as often happens, when confronted by the question in Paula’s eyes that asked clearly why was she here, she just blurted it out.

  ‘I thought that was all done and dusted,’ Paula said, looking just a touch put-out. ‘Matthew hasn’t seen her again and he’s not going to so it’s best to forget it. Keep dragging it up will only cause a problem.’

  ‘I know that but I’m just curious. Have you any other pictures of her other than the one I saw in your album?’

  ‘I don’t think so. That one just slipped through because, to be honest, I didn’t like her. She was his first proper girlfriend and you know how intense it can get. I remember my first boyfriend. He was called Jack and—’

  ‘I remember mine too,’ Nicola put in swift
ly before Paula got started. ‘When you think back you wonder what the hell you saw in them, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes, I suppose you do. Anyway, Alan and I didn’t want him to have a girlfriend because we were worried that it was going to affect his schoolwork because he was doing so well and on target for that Oxford place. It hadn’t happened at that school before and he was under a lot of pressure to succeed. And we didn’t want him to be too distracted with a girl, but it’s very difficult to get the right balance between work and letting him have some fun and we didn’t want to come over as heavy-handed because that never works.’

  Nicola nodded, understanding completely and rather surprised that Paula had put it quite so succinctly.

  ‘Why didn’t you like her?’

  ‘She was too clingy. She had not had a happy childhood and she was looking for another family. She pushed in. She was too sweet. She overdid it and it was creepy. Lucy didn’t like her either and she was always a good judge of a person. She was not good for Matthew and I was concerned that she would not let him go, so it was a real relief when she moved away. Although he took it badly, he did buckle down to the work and he ended up getting that place. Lucy talked to him. He took a lot of notice of what his sister said.’

  How would she have fared in the Lucy test? Would she have liked her? It was a sobering thought for she was not entirely convinced that Paula liked her either.

  They changed the subject then, talking about shopping, and Paula took her upstairs to see the things she had bought. ‘I had to have a personal shopper helping me,’ she said a little shamefaced. ‘So that I didn’t keep making the same mistakes.’

  ‘We all make mistakes. I would have helped you choose some new clothes,’ Nicola told her, thinking that the personal shopper, whoever she might be, had come up with some surprising choices for such a tiny lady. ‘We’ll go shopping together some time.’

  ‘I feel guilty at spending money,’ Paula said when they were back downstairs. ‘I can’t get used to it. We’ve talked about it and we would like to give you and Matthew a little something if that’s all right with you.’

  ‘That would be lovely,’ she said, thinking that a few hundred pounds would not come amiss to spend on the cottage or maybe put towards the holiday that they never seemed to get around to. And, if she did become pregnant, then it could go towards furnishing the nursery. She came close to telling Paula at that point that she was hoping to become pregnant soon, but what was the point until she actually was?

  The rest of the visit was a touch forced as they ran out of things to say and there was no warmth in the goodbye hug accompanied with a murmured thank-you from Paula for the birthday present.

  And for the first time, that coolness bothered her a good deal.

  They had got off to a bad start and she realized only now how wrong she had been. But was it too late to make amends? Would the two of them ever be friends?

  Chapter Eighteen

  ‘IT’S ME. I’M back in Plymouth. On my own. Can we meet? I need to see you.’

  His grip on the phone tightened and Matthew glanced round the office, but everybody was busy and nobody was remotely interested in his phone conversation. He turned his head slightly away, however, hoping that nobody was earwigging.

  ‘How dare you ring me at work?’ he said, voice low.

  ‘Would you prefer that I ring you at home? I don’t have your mobile number. If you remember, you chose not to give it to me.’

  ‘I don’t think we should meet,’ he said, feeling the pressure as, across the room, somebody waved a hand at him, trying to attract his attention. ‘I don’t want you calling my wife again telling her that I’m harassing you when nothing is further from the truth. I don’t want you to see you again, Chrissie. I tried to be polite because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings but I really do not want to see you again.’

  ‘I know that but I need to set a few things straight and this will be the last time. There is something very important that I need to tell you. I tried to tell you before but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.’

  ‘Damn you,’ he muttered. ‘But this had better be good.’

  A time and place was agreed and he spent the rest of the morning thinking about it. He should have said no. Was he showing some weakness in agreeing to meet the woman who he was increasingly thinking was off her rocker? If this turned into a stalking situation proper then he would have to do something about it and he would leave her in no doubt this lunchtime about that. Her decision to ring Nicola had changed what had merely been a chance encounter with a face in the past, into something more important. By involving Nicola, Chrissie had upped the ante big time and he needed to get this sorted out once and for all.

  She was supposedly a happily married woman or at the least she had been at pains to make it appear like that, and he was most definitely a happily married man. Nicola was being sweet to him these days when he knew he had been a bit off with her, worrying about this and that, some of it work-related because the big client was proving to be the most awkward guy he had ever dealt with. However she would not be so sweet with him if she found out that he was seeing Chrissie again so the first thing he needed to do was to ring her and tell her about this new development.

  ‘I’m just about to meet some clients.’ Nicola’s voice was brisk. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘Nothing’s wrong,’ he reassured her quickly. ‘But Chrissie’s rung me and asked me to meet for lunch. She says it’s the last time but she has something desperately important to tell me.’

  ‘She has a cheek. Do you want me to come with you? I could just about manage it if I set off after my meeting,’ Nicola asked. ‘That will make it wonderfully inappropriate won’t it, if you turn up with me in tow?’

  ‘It’s not funny,’ he told her. ‘It’s getting beyond a joke. I’ve never tried to contact her since she spoke to you and let her dare say I have.’

  ‘Perhaps she needs closure,’ Nicola said. ‘Honestly, Matthew, just get it over with, but leave her in no doubt that this is the last time. Let her talk.’

  ‘No danger of her not doing that.’

  ‘Let her talk and then say goodbye and do tell her not to bother you again or this time it will be you accusing her of harassment. I think you have to be very firm about that. Poor besotted soul, she obviously can’t take no for an answer.’

  He felt marginally better that he had told Nicola and that she was taking it so well, but he felt some trepidation nonetheless as he made his way to the no-nonsense department-store café Chrissie had chosen as the venue. At least they could merge into the background here and after a brief nod of greeting – no hugs – they quickly got themselves a coffee and a couple of sandwiches before making their way to a corner table.

  She looked very pale and very tired. She was wearing jeans, the same ones surely, tucked into high leather boots, and a silvery fur – faux fur he presumed – jacket. Her hair was faux red too, if there was such a term, and it didn’t look good, dark roots showing, the style now looking just plain messy. She looked all of thirty-one, older even, and he felt bad for noticing, knowing how women hated to be reminded of the advancing years. She was too thin at that, her shape revealed as she shook off the jacket.

  ‘How is your mother?’ he asked politely, after they had extracted the sandwiches from their tricky packaging.

  ‘She’s not got long.’ she said. ‘It’s spread to everywhere so it’s just a matter of weeks. Days even. I’ve decided to stay until it’s over.’

  ‘I’m sorry to hear that. Is she in hospital?’

  ‘No. She’s back home being looked after by a Macmillan nurse. I’ve just popped out. I needed to get out.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he repeated. ‘It must be hard for you.’

  ‘It is. Marcus couldn’t come with me because of his schedule and I didn’t want the children to see their grandmother in this state. They are being looked after,’ she added as if worried that he might think she had just abandoned them.
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  ‘They will be missing you.’

  She nodded. ‘It’s very difficult. She’s shrunk. She’s just a tiny lady now and she’s had enough.’

  ‘You just have to stay strong for her,’ he said, feeling a little helpless in this situation, understanding now why she looked quite as rough as she did. He wanted to reach for her hand, squeeze it, offer some sympathy but at the same time, he did not want her to get the wrong end of the stick. Women were so much better at this sympathy lark and he hoped to God she was not going to break down in front of him. She looked in control, but you never knew for sure.

  ‘I wanted to meet face to face to apologize for what I did. I should never have rung your wife. I don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry.’

  ‘Nicola knows we’re meeting today so there’s nothing hole-in-the-corner about this,’ he told her.

  ‘What did she say?’

  ‘She feels sorry for you.’

  ‘Why?’

  He shrugged. They were not here to talk about his wife, his very understanding wife, but it seemed that Chrissie was not about to let it go.

  ‘Was she very upset when I rang her?’

  ‘What do you think?’ he snapped, patience already wearing thin. ‘But she didn’t take it too seriously when I explained. She might have taken it seriously, though, if she hadn’t been so understanding, and it could have caused a big bust-up so it wasn’t a very bright thing for you to do, was it? Why did you do it? You are happily married. It sounds as if you have a great life with the kids and everything. You have no reason to feel insecure surely?’

  ‘Oh, Matthew, you have no idea. I would leave him tomorrow if I could. He’s controlling. He’s not violent, nothing like that, but he controls me emotionally,’ she said. ‘We fell out of love a long time ago, but the children …’ She sighed, putting down her slice of granary bread. ‘It’s not so easy when there are children, so I have to swallow my pride and stay.’