Again for the First Time

by Raven St. Pierre

  Frustration came over me quickly when I was beyond the heavy wooden doors and Matt was nowhere in sight. I could feel my shoulders slump as my theory started to feel like a real possibility. It was nothing short of a small miracle that he’d made it here at all. Now that his career had blown up bigger than any of us expected, it seemed like every well-known producer, director, and journalist was trying to get a slot on his dance card. He was busy. I knew that, respected that, but I prayed I wasn’t about to be let down. My mind wandered over the things he mentioned having to do this week. His plate was full, but he’d somehow maneuvered around those obligations and got here. I’d be crushed if I missed him.

  My heart leapt and a gasp hit my throat when a deep, breezy voice filled my senses. I knew that voice. Very well. “So, how’s it feel to finally have your life back?”

  I wasn’t ashamed of the relief that overcame me when I realized he hadn’t gone. I turned to the right and a pair of dark, Dolce and Gabanna Oxfords caught my eye first. Next was the pant leg of an expensive, tailored, gray suit. Giving myself a moment to take him all in, I didn’t greet Matt right away, just stared. His cool gray eyes were set on me, filled with a mixture of excitement and uncertainty as six months’ worth of distance and longing disappeared. When I finally did greet him, it wasn’t with words; it was with a long, tight embrace that seemed to take him by surprise. Not because we’d never hugged before, but because I typically didn’t wear my emotions on my sleeve like I was today.

  I missed him to the point that I struggled not to shed tears when he reciprocated the hug, pulling me in tight against his chest. My eyes closed and I clung to him, grateful that he’d made this trip just to be here for me. “I’m so glad you came. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  We separated and Matt shrugged. “Because I know how much you love surprises,” he said sarcastically, knowing good and well that I actually hated surprises. He flashed a smile and I felt that flutter in my chest again.

  “So, what on Earth are you gonna do with all this free time, Ms. James? No more studying, no more being tied up in class?” A half smile made one corner of his mouth twitch upward and I focused on it.

  The thought of not having to crack open a book or meet with a study group overwhelmed me, actually. I wasn’t starting my new job for a little while, which meant the next several weeks all belonged to me. I shrugged when I couldn’t think of anything. “A whole lot of nothing, I guess,” was the only answer I had, and I delivered it with a smile.

  Matt nodded and took a step closer, invading my space as he pushed his fingers through his hair with one hand. It wasn’t until he did that, lessened the space between us, that I realized he had something hidden, but not for long. Seconds later, a single, pink rose appeared from behind his back.

  “Congratulations,” he uttered.

  The gesture, although simple, nearly took my breath away. Judging by how his grin widened, I guessed that was exactly the reaction he was hoping for. I accepted his gift and stared at the rose instead of into his eyes. However, I could only avoid them for a moment because the next thing I knew, he’d taken my hand in his, commanding my attention whether I was willing to give it or not.

  “So, I was thinking, you don’t have anything pressing coming up, right?”

  I thought that over and then nodded. “No, but –”

  He stopped me before I could fully protest, bringing an uncomfortable vibe into the conversation with his many left-field gestures—holding my hand, the rose… the expression on his face. Friends don’t typically look at friends the way he was now looking at me. If it’d been anyone else, any other circumstances, it would’ve been fine; however, Matt and I had an agreement: this relationship was platonic. We were friends and nothing more. That kept things easy between us. Our boundaries were clear and I preferred it that way. Boundaries—as I thought the word, I glanced down at my hand in his. No… this wasn’t friendly. This felt like something else.

  Matt wet his lips and I tried not to look at that either. His eyes and lips were off limits to me at the moment, until whatever this weirdness was passed. With the thought, I made myself stare at our hands again, at our fingers that had somehow, at some point, become interlocked.

  Oh gosh, no, Brooklyn. Pull away. Pull away...

  Those were the words I was screaming to myself inside my head, but yet, I stayed put, letting him hold on to me while he seemed to be working up the nerve to say something else. But then, taking another step closer, Matt finally found his words, finally mustered up the courage to make me an offer of sorts.

  “Come to California with me for a while, Brook.”

  I stared and he waited expressionless while I searched for an answer, an excuse.

  “Just a week or so,” he added.

  “Matt, I–”

  This wasn’t the first time he’d asked. There were several phone conversations that ended with an invitation and the offer of a plane ticket. Every time I’d managed to turn him down, though, desperately trying to keep the lines from getting blurred. To me, being there alone in California with him, staying at his home, was a recipe for disaster.

  I was hell-bent on keeping things just the way they were, which was perfect in my eyes. However, I’d known since the beginning that Matt didn’t share my views. To him, our instant connection was a sure sign that, yes, friendship was imminent, but he also believed there was something else brewing beneath the surface. It’d been me who defined the terms of the relationship, not him.

  My resistance to exploring things further left him no choice but to accept things for what they were. However, he made no apologies for how he felt about me, and I never asked him to. We’re human, feelings come up from time to time, but I was convinced this would all pass eventually and he’d begin to see things the way I saw them.

  Up until now, Matt had done a great job of suppressing the emotions that were now beginning to bleed through his expression and body language. I lowered my eyes to the ground and tried to speak again. “Listen, Matt, I—”

  “Brook… for once in your life, don’t think,” he interjected with a laugh, his gentle tone pricking my heart when he did. I met his gaze again and I was shocked by the desperation showing through on his face. “Don’t overthink it,” he added. He knew me so well, which was a blessing and a curse.

  …a blessing because I didn’t have to explain myself or my intentions to him often.

  …a curse because he knew exactly how to break my will.

  “This time,” he went on. “—this time say ‘yes’. Say you’ll come with me.”

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  Please enjoy the following teaser from:

  LOVED BY YOU (Found by You 2)

  By Victoria H. Smith

  Release Date: March 2015

  Official Blurb:

  The world moves with him…

  Griffin Chandler.

  He’s on his own wavelength, creator of his own destiny. He took that drive and accomplished his d
reams on the court. He made the world see him, adore him as much as I do.

  And he adores me too. He does so through the good, the bad, and even the very worst that causes me to lose myself. He found me once, though. In a way, I also found him too, but am I strong enough to keep him?

  Is he strong enough to keep me?

  LOVED BY YOU is a new adult contemporary romance.

  *****

  Roxie

  Winter in Miami was something else; the evidence of it hit everywhere around it. Everywhere else had signs of winter, but here, it was still perfect. Warm and wonderful in its sunny haven.

  I lifted my fingers into the sun’s rays that glided in a warm wave through the condo’s largest window, the one in the bedroom. Spinning my fingers around, the light hit my engagement ring. The cream-colored walls of the room made the best canvas for the light that bounced off the ring’s stones. The walls splashed in color, tiny rainbows of fragmented light. Purples, blues, greens.

  Smiling, I brought my hand down, rolling to my front in the process. A draft in the room hit my backside, but I burrito-ed myself real good in the fluffy white comforter, bunching the extra under my naked breasts. I folded my arms, leaving my left hand out and splayed across the bedding. God, I freakin’ grinned again. I’d been engaged over a week and still couldn’t stop admiring my ring. Not because of how beautiful it was, which it was. A circle-cut diamond with emeralds hallowed around it, this ring was a girl’s dream. Yes, it was special, but even more was its meaning. It meant I’d soon belong to someone.

  That he would belong to me.

  The realization sent a magnificent charge of happiness bubbling into my heart, working its way throughout my soul.

  “You know if you keep sleeping with that thing on you’ll end up waking up with a gash in your face. That thing’s damn sharp in places, baby.”

  My fiancé stood in the hallway that led the bedroom into the bathroom, a vision of male perfection in only half of his basketball sweats. The top half of his body he left bare; smooth skin stretched taut over lean abs and a tight chest. He held a toothbrush in one hand and a handsome grin curled his lips.

  “Wouldn’t want to ruin that pretty face,” he said, winking at me.

  The teasing tone of that Texan drawl he had broke the fixation I had on his beautiful body. I tucked my hand away, mock scowling at being caught obsessing over my ring again.

  “Shut up,” I said. I pouted, though I never minded when he poked fun. He never did it maliciously. He just liked messing with me.

  His eyebrows twitched up at the words. Shaking his toothbrush at me, he lifted one finger, as if to say “one second,” before disappearing into the bathroom.

  Snickering, my stomach fluttered at what he had in store. He didn’t make me wait for long. Suddenly, he charged out of the bathroom. He slid onto our bed, his long frame covering the width of it despite the fact we got a special mattress to accommodate his six foot six inches.

  He propped himself up on his elbow, those crystal blue eyes twinkling with something wicked behind them. He leaned into me, bare chest and all. “Tell me to shut up again, Roxie Peterson.”

  Ah. So he didn’t like being told what to do this morning. Grinning, I pulled the blanket tight to my chest. He wasn’t going to intimidate me, but being naked was counteracting my intimidation.

  I cocked my head against the pillow. “Shut up.”

  “Oh, you’re going to regret that.” His hands went to the undersides of my armpits.

  “No!” I locked up, pressing my arms to my sides in laughter. This didn’t deter him, and he went for my sides. He found the edge of the blanket and ripped it open.

  “Too many blankets. Too many damn blankets.” He chuckled, unwrapping me like an excited kid at Christmas.

  My face was hot, and I couldn’t breathe he had me laughing so hard. Before I knew it, he had me as naked as the day I was born.

  “That’s better,” he said. He nipped my neck, long fingers tickling my sides.

  “Griffin! Griffin, stop!” I giggled, the tears moving down my cheeks. God, he could be so goofy, but I loved it.

  He lifted his head, his dirty blond hair, only half dried from his shower, flopping over his brow. The brown freckle just below the Cupid’s bow of his lips moved when he smiled.

  “Okay,” he drawled, and just like that he turned it down. He dipped his head to my neck again, but this time he did nothing but kiss, brushing his soft lips along my skin.

  I drew in a breath, gripping his biceps as he pressed my body flush against his, my breasts to his chest, and my thigh wrapped around his hip. He smelled so nice, his body warm and scent so fresh from his shower.

  He’d just gotten me moaning when he pulled away, but I didn’t care. I got to see that smile of his again.

  He moved a finger along my profile, my cheek, my lips. “It’s damn nice hearing you laugh.”

  I put my hand to his mouth. “I was thinking the same thing about seeing your smile.”

  This made it widen, and I loved that even more. I loved him even more if that were possible.

  He kissed my palm then threaded our hands together, his light and my dark. I think he noticed that—us. He studied our hands for a moment, moving his thumb over the back of my hand. His eyes lifted to mine. They smiled as much as he did. “You like living here all right, Roxie? You like this life?”

  His question took me by surprise. I pushed my hand up his chest. “Yeah, of course. It’s pretty here. Warm. And it has you.”

  That grin of his would make me say what I had a million times over. Leaning in, he brushed his lips along my cheek.

  He pulled back, and I settled my fingers behind his neck. “I really do like it. Why do you ask?”

  He pushed his hand along my waist, tapping his thumb near my belly button. “It’s just… I never see you really go anywhere, you know? Well, besides my games and things. I know we’ve only been here a few months, and we’re both still trying to get settled. I just want to make sure you’re taken care of. That I’m not leaving you out to dry since I’m so busy. I fear that happening, I guess.”

  Griffin’s new playing schedule did keep him busy. When he played for our college team, he practiced five times a week for a few hours. I quickly learned the school was being generous. Now that he was playing professionally, basketball was literally his career, a job in which he more than nine to fived-it. He had press events, advertising campaigns, and a myriad of other activities stacked on top of the game he played. I was welcomed to many of those things, and I didn’t mind when I wasn’t. His life was busy, and I understood that’s what came with being with him. This life was still new for both of us, and he was right, we’d both needed time to adjust. Especially me since I did have so much free time. We up and left the Midwest so quickly that I didn’t have time to secure a teaching job before we got to Florida. Once I got here, I suddenly realized all the eggs I had were in one basket. I was in a new state I knew nothing about, had a new condo I was on my own to furnish since Griffin was so busy, and quickly got engaged after only being here a few months. Needless to say, finding a job hadn’t been priority. I decided to take some time before finding a job to play catch up. Now that I was getting my bearings around our place, I could see why he was concerned. I didn’t really go anywhere, but I always considered myself a homebody. Even before we moved.

  “You’re not leaving me out to dry,” I said, pushing my arms around his neck. “I like being in the house. I don’t mind cooking and cleaning and stuff.”

  He grinned, settling his large hand on my hip. “I love your cooking, and you keep house like nobody’s business, but I don’t want you just cooking and cleaning like this is some 1950s domestic shit.”

  I chuckled and he kissed my cheek.

  “I want you to be able to have something for yourself,” he continued. “A hobby or something. Why don’t you hang out with the other wives and girlfriends of the team? I heard they get together. Have tea or…” he flubbed
, waving his hand in thought. “Spinning classes.”

  I shoved him. “Nice.”

  He winked. “Nah, but seriously. You should see what they’re up to.”

  If I was being honest with myself, I was kind of avoiding the other ladies attached to Griffin’s teammates. Like the newness of this place, they were kinda intimidating. I chewed my lip. “I’m not really much for socialization. What if we have nothing in common?”

  Smiling, Griffin leaned his forehead against mine. “They’ll love you. They’ll love you because you’re an amazing woman. You make me feel that every day I’m around you. Fuck, even without words you manage to do it. Believe me, they’ll feel that, too.”

  My mouth curved up. I just couldn’t help it. Griffin Chandler had a way with words, a way with my heart. He pulled back and kissed my hand, right near my ring. “What are your plans for today?”

  I shrugged. “Cleaning,” I said with a wink. “Then making you dinner.”

  He chuckled, smoothing his hand up and down mine. “How about we get going on that wedding planning? I know we’ve only been engaged a week, but Gram’s antsy something awful to get going with it.”

  Griffin called his grandma about us getting married and I was half surprised he wasn’t a deaf old man by the time he got off the line. There were constant screams of excitement through the line that I heard and I was on the other side of the room. The conversation lasted nearly three hours. She wanted every detail of Griffin’s magical engagement. He asked me at halftime during one of his games. He told her he’d send her the DVD of the whole thing since it was recorded, but that didn’t seem to appease her. She wanted his personal complete play-by-play.

  I laughed. “Well, tell her she can get started. I won’t stand in her way.”

  “And believe me, she is. She wants to know where you want it, and she’ll start calling places. She’s expecting a call from you.”