Unintentional

by Harkins, MK

  “Sophie, you didn’t have to come, really. I don’t know why you do this to yourself.”

  She gives me an intense stare. “Am I your assistant?”

  I don’t know where this is going. “Yes, and you’re a great one,” I answer.

  “Didn’t you say in the interview, travel, and not just any travel, but airline travel, was part of my job description?”

  Now I know where this is heading. “Yes, but—”

  “Ssshhhh.” She holds up her hand to stop me from speaking.

  Every time we travel, Sophie needs to medicate herself. The Xanax she’s already taken seems to be making her more irritable. Isn’t she supposed to be asleep by now?

  “Let me continue. I know this fear is irrational. I know I have a better chance of dying in a car accident. So I’m going to do this. I’m going to do this every time you ask me, and, sometimes, even when you don’t. Now, just be quiet and give me your hand. No more arguing.”

  I want to tell her she’s the only one who’s arguing, but I decide to keep it to myself. We’re in the zone now. I know what’s next. Sophie grasps my hand tightly, squeezes her eyes closed, and starts to pray. Not just any prayer, it’s the Hail Mary. She memorized it watching the Catholic Channel on cable. This wouldn’t be so unusual, but Sophie isn’t Catholic. She has no plans to become Catholic either. But she’s adopted this particular prayer for when we fly. As a result, I can now recite the Hail Mary in two languages.

  We exit the plane three hours later. Fortunately, this time, our luggage is intact, laying sedately on the carousal as it turns slowly. I guide Sophie to the seating area over to the side and sit her down. I think she doubled her dose of Xanax, because she looks like she’s going to nod off.

  “Rest here for a minute, Sophie. I’m going to get our suitcases.”

  She nods the affirmative and plops herself down in the closest chair.

  I lunge for both our bags, retrieving them quickly. I turn to wave her over, noticing she’s already fallen asleep. My first feeling is pity; she really puts herself through the ringer to make these trips. The second feeling comes on quickly—irritation. She has her head on the shoulder of a very attractive man. She’s done this on purpose! Now is not the time to get friendly with some strange person. I walk over to the man, about to make an apology, when I notice his expression. His mouth is hanging open as he stares in disbelief, first at me, then back to Sophie.

  “Tell me I’m not dreaming.” He has a British accent.

  This is not good. Sophie loves all things foreign.

  She looks at him sleepily and answers, “Oh, yes, honey, we’re dreaming. It’s all good.” She puts her head back on his shoulder and appears to go back to sleep.

  I’m going to kill her when I get her alone. “I’m so sorry. My friend here has a fear of flying, and I’m afraid she’s a little overmedicated right now.” I lean over to shake her awake. “Come on Sophie, let’s go.”

  Handsome British Man grips her by the shoulders and helps her to her feet. “Can I buy you two dinner? I have to say, I’m stunned speechless. I haven’t seen lookers like you in a long time.”

  Handsome, yes. Original, no. “Um, no thanks. Actually, we’re both married. We have to get going now.”

  Grabbing Sophie by the arm, I drag her to the taxi.

  She’s still groggy as she asks, “Where’s my new friend? He was soft. I like him. Can I keep him? Please, Laurel?”

  The taxi door opens, and I shove Sophie in, maybe with a little more force than necessary. It doesn’t seem to bother her though as she flops down on my lap using her purse as a pillow. Thirty seconds later, I hear her start to snore.

  Cade

  “So who do you have to report to, my mom or dad? Or both?” I ask.

  Scott squirms as he struggles to come up with a response. “I guess everybody. Your family, the band, your friends. I don’t know why, but everyone seems to think I have all the answers.”

  A deep sigh escapes me. “Why is it so hard to just be alone? I mean, it’s not complicated. I’m burned out, I need a break, and I’m staying in. It’s pretty simple.”

  Scott leans his head back in the chair; he keeps his coffee cup placed on the arm. “I think everyone just wants confirmation you’re okay. Is it so hard to call your mom a couple times a week? The guys keep asking if you’re coming back to practice. I can’t keep saying I don’t know all the time. Cade, it’s been a month.”

  I get up and walk over to the picture window overlooking the lake. It’s a glorious day with the sun glistening off the sedate water, but I don’t feel anything. All I feel is emptiness. I wonder if it will ever go away.

  “Scott, I know you mean well, but I’m just not ready.”

  Scott turns to look at me. “We all loved her, in our own way. I know it was different for you. We all miss her. She’s worried about you, too.”

  I feel my empty void start filling up with pain. I liked it better empty. I don’t want to see her or talk to her or even think about her.

  Scott continues. “Maybe if you talked to her again you could get some closure. It might help, Cade.”

  I shake my head no. It’s too new, too fresh. Every time I think about her with Jeremy, I feel physically sick. I don’t want to hear about how happy she is, how everything turned out just the way it should have. Well, it didn’t. She should have been with me.

  I reach over and splash some whisky into my coffee. Scott tries to hide his surprise by rubbing the back of his neck, hiding his face. I know it’s not even noon, but my headache is getting worse, and the only thing that will help is the hair of the dog.

  “I don’t want to talk to her now, maybe never.” I catch a glimpse of sadness in Scott’s eyes before he responds.

  “I know how you felt about her, but you also had a friendship, a really good, strong friendship. Did that just go away?”

  “I never wanted her for a friend! It just turned out that way. I always wanted more. I was being patient, but now, looking back, I realize I was just being stupid. So stupid.” I feel moisture prickling behind my eyes. Hell no. There is no way I’m going to cry. This is bad enough without humiliating myself even more. I make my way to the couch and sit down heavily while placing both feet on the coffee table.

  “You weren’t stupid, man. Who would have ever guessed that Sarah girl was so crazy? It really isn’t fair what she did to Mattie, or even Jeremy. If you’re angry at anyone, it should be her.”

  I scoff. “Well, Scott, it’s a little hard to get mad at a dead person. I know it was her fault. I know Jeremy was innocent. It still doesn’t help, you know?”

  Scott nods. “I know, bro.” He sits up suddenly. “I have a great idea! You just need a distraction. Let’s go out tonight. I know the perfect way to take your mind off things.”

  I shake my head as he finishes the last part of his sentence. I know his way of distraction is not the same as mine. I’ve never understood how Scott, and especially Ayden, can do the whole “one night stand” thing. In college maybe, but they’re too old to still be doing that shit. But I guess some people never outgrow it.

  “You know that’s not the way I roll, Scott. Never has, never will be.”

  Scott grins and says, “I had to give it a try. I could never understand why a guy like you, with women literally throwing themselves at you, doesn’t take advantage of that shit.”

  Scott can be so dense at times. “You’ve just said the operable word. Advantage. I don’t take advantage of girls, Scott. Anyway, they’re just wrapped up in the fantasy of a singer in a band. It’s not me they really like. It’s just who they think I am, some bad boy rocker with tattoos. They don’t know I just like to hang out on the weekends and watch sports like everyone else.”

  Scott laughs. “So true! You are a boring bastard. You should give them a chance though. Maybe one of them will like football?”

  “Have you seen the girls at the bar? I have yet to see one who looks even remotely interested in anything ot
her than a good party and having fun. I don’t want a party girl, you know that, Scott. Besides, I tried that coping technique after Jennifer, remember?”

  I remember it all too well. I walked in to find my then girlfriend, Jennifer, having a little too much fun with her college math tutor. It was our senior year in college, and I was devastated.

  I spent the next year escaping into the beds of whatever girl was available, hoping Jennifer would notice. She never did.

  “How about one of those chicks at your engineering firm? They should be boring enough for you.”

  “Too boring. Mattie was it for me,” I state unequivocally.

  Scott picks up his coffee cup, concentrating on something floating at the top. I think we’re done with conversation until he speaks up.

  “I don’t think she was it for you, Cade.”

  “How would you know? You the love expert now?”

  He shrugs. “No, don’t get me wrong, Mattie’s great. It’s just she’s more of the picket fence sort of girl. I can see her with an apron and tons of kids around her.”

  “So?” I ask.

  “I think you’d get restless after a while, that’s all. I think you need a girl who’s more adventurous, who’d want to travel with you, see the world a little.”

  There is a possibility he might be right. I had thought about it before. I’m not sure why, but I do have a little restlessness in me. I’m curious about parts of the world I haven’t seen yet. Part of me still wants to go on the road with the band to see if we can make a name for ourselves. I’m not going to admit it to Scott though. I know I would’ve been happy with Mattie. I already was. But, would it have become a problem down the road? I’ll never know. That’s the hardest part, not knowing what we could have been.

  Scott jumps up. “I’ve got it! I know just what you need. Give me a couple hours to arrange it. I promise you’re going to love this!”

  “I don’t want to go anywhere, Scott. Just drop it. I’m staying in.”

  “That’s the best part of the plan, Cade! You don’t have to go anywhere. Just be ready by seven tonight.”

  He hops out of the chair, obviously happy with his plan, and slams the door as he leaves. The headache that had started to abate comes back full force. I reach for the whiskey.

  Laurel

  “He lives on a houseboat?” Sophie’s eyebrows arch in surprise. We watch as Scott drags a cooler to the houseboat on the end of the dock. We’ve followed him from his house, to the grocery store, and back down a steep hill to onto Fairview Ave East, which is where most of the houseboats are docked.

  I try to make out his house, or houseboat, from where Scott has left the cooler. Sophie and I crouch, peering from behind some shrubs, so our view is obstructed.

  “Let’s wait in the car. He’s coming back,” Sophie whispers.

  I feel a little ridiculous as we skulk back to the rental car.

  Maybe this wasn’t one of my better ideas. Scott leaves quickly. Thankfully, he seems distracted and doesn’t notice us scurrying from our hiding place.

  When we get back out of the car, I feel comfortable enough to take a look around. This is an interesting street. It’s narrow, only allowing two small cars enough room to pass each other. The entire block is houseboats on one side and apartments and small, quaint homes on the other. It’s quiet with the cheery sound of birds chirping. I listen carefully and hear motorboats and the hum of a seaplane landing in the distance.

  The dock leading to Cade’s home is one of the nicest on the block. There is an awning with gates leading to an open dock lined with a rubber walkway. Sophie and I make our way past the gates, thanking the universe they aren’t locked, and walk slowly down the plank, I mean dock.

  The first houseboats we pass are a little underwhelming. One of them actually looks like it might sink. Sitting right next to it, though, is what you would call a mansion on water. The differences between each one of the homes is distinctive. They range from tiny to quite large. Some of them have three floors to take advantage of the stunning views.

  The views from where I’m standing are simply amazing. I can see everything from here – the Space Needle, a few different marinas, the Seattle skyline, a large bridge of some sort, and what looks to be a huge park with a bunch of huge, rusted metal contraptions all around.

  I look closer at the homes we’re passing. There are eight on each side with either a sailboat or kayak moored between them. Wind chimes, potted plants, lawn chairs, and children’s bikes are littered about the small decks surrounding each house. This place is definitely what most people would call eclectic.

  I wonder about the man who chose this particular lifestyle. He is such an enigma. He’s a brainy engineer with tattoos, but also an incredibly talented singer and songwriter. I’ve only seen him once, from a distance, but I would have guessed he live in a condo or a small house in the city.

  We continue down the dock, reaching the house before Cade’s. It’s another quaint houseboat with large windows. One of the signs in the window reads, “This is a Happy Place.” I find myself hoping Cade has adopted the same sentiment. He might not be happy to see us.

  We step up to the entrance, and I’m totally charmed by the house I think must be Cade’s. It’s a one-story, brown shingled box-shaped structure with a blue door and trim. Even though it looks to be only one floor the ceilings must be at least twenty feet tall. There is a steep ladder propped over to the side, secured against the building, leading up to a roof deck. I can see the tops of some large potted plants and lawn chairs from my vantage point. He must have some great parties here. This place is really impressive. I love everything about it.

  “What should we do?” asks Sophie.

  “I guess we just go to the door. If it isn’t Cade who lives here, we’ll make an excuse and follow Scott around a little more.” I try to look convincing.

  “Good plan,” Sophie responds.

  I ask, “Are you sure you’re up for this? You were sure out of it a few hours ago.”

  A smile darts across her face. “Remind me never to double up on my medicine. Although, I don’t remember much of the plane ride. That part is good at least.”

  “Okay, let’s do this thing.” I start to move toward the door.

  Sophie takes my arm, “So, what’s our plan, anyway?”

  “We’re going to sweet talk him into signing with us. Piece of cake.” I snap my fingers. Sophie nods in agreement. I love Sophie. She’s always game for anything.

  We move a little closer to the front door, cautiously. I’m starting to get a little nervous. What seemed like a good plan a few minutes ago, now seems absurd. We don’t know this person. Maybe he has perfectly legitimate reasons for quitting the band. Maybe he won’t want to talk with us at all. Maybe… Oh, I have to quit thinking like this.

  I grasp the heavy knocker and slam it down a few times. That should do it; the loud clanging could wake the dead. We wait in uneasy silence for Cade, or whoever resides here, to answer the door. I’m trying to put together a reason we’re standing at the door to the potential stranger, who may or may not answer, when the door flings open suddenly.

  There he is. It’s him. He doesn’t look the same as he did last time I saw him. He looks a little…horrible, but oh, my lord, he actually looks even better. How can that be? He looks like he hasn’t shaved in days, his hair is sticking up in all different directions, and his clothes are wrinkled. But he still has those perfect cheekbones, long lashes, and full lips. I can feel the warmth starting from the pit of my stomach, moving up throughout my body. Please don’t let him notice.

  I smell a wave of alcohol wafting from inside. It smells like a brewery. Cade’s eyes are half opened. Apparently, the alcohol smell is coming directly from him. Once he gets a good look at us, they double in size. He peers at us, back and forth and up and down, more than a few times.

  I’m starting to become uncomfortable with the silence. His shoulders seem to relax, and he shakes his head, like he can�
�t believe we’re here. Cade leaves the door open, turns suddenly, and walks toward the back of his house, waving us in. I look at Sophie in confusion. We haven’t even introduced ourselves yet.

  As we enter, one thing is apparent. Cade, or whoever is living here, hasn’t done housework in a very long time. Maybe never. We walk down the hallway, which opens up the living area. There isn’t a surface not covered with pizza boxes, dirty dishes, newspapers, books, and clothes. I’m trying to take in everything at once. This house, or houseboat, is breathtaking, albeit a mess.

  The floor-to-ceiling windows bring in tons of natural light. Outside, only a few feet away, kayakers paddle through the calm waters of Lake Union. The color of the lake is a murky green, but it doesn’t distract from the beauty at all.

  My eyes dart around the remaining spaces within view. If this house were clean, it would be my dream home. The huge fireplace against the southern wall has a built in bookcase surrounding it. There must be thousands of books. My hands itch to touch them. I want to know what type of books Cade reads. The furniture is overstuffed and comfortable-looking. I also notice a typical bachelor addition, a huge screen TV secured over the wall opposite the fireplace. Light colored rugs and antique tables finish off the impressive room, that is, if it were clean. I stand rooted in place. I don’t want to walk all the way in. Something’s off, something isn’t right.

  Cade motions to the two side chairs placed next to the deck. “Ladies, have a seat.”

  I look over at Sophie. She looks at me with the same confused expression. I give her a nod and we head over and sit down. Cade walks over, a little unsteadily, and sits on the end of the coffee table, right in front of us.

  “I know why you’re here.”

  I can feel myself relax. This will make things go so much easier. I look him straight in the eye. “Good. We can get right to business.”

  Cade smirks and responds. “Yeah, right. Business. Is that what you call it?”

  I nod. “Yes. I know we can do a lot for you. You won’t be sorry. We have a great reputation. I’ve brought my portfolio, references, and recommendations.” I reach into my briefcase and start to remove the paperwork.