Unintentional

  Laurel

  Am I really running away like a scared little girl? I look down at my rubbery legs. I’m not going very fast, but yes, I’m running like the coward I am. I slow down to catch my breath, but I keep walking though. I want to put as much distance between Cade and me so I’m able to think.

  I’m sure I don’t have to worry about Cade following me. I saw his face before I bolted. Was it disgust, disappointment, or frustration? If I were to guess, I’d say a mixture of all three. I’m sending him mixed signals, I know that. I’ve never been so conflicted in my life.

  What is he doing to me? It’s like I’ve lost all sense of reality. No one has ever elicited such an overpowering reaction from me. Why didn’t I stay with Douglas? He was safe, predictable. He was vanilla-flavored ice cream compared to Cade’s Everything-Except-for-the-Kitchen-Sink from Ben and Jerry’s. Whenever I’m with him, my senses are heightened, plus my body and emotions are on high alert. Unfortunately, my mind seems to click off.

  My behavior on the bench was inexcusable. I’ve never throw myself at a man like that before. I can feel my body warm again. What did I do? In all fairness, Cade was definitely pouring on the seduction. It worked. Between his gorgeous blue eyes, light brown, slightly sweaty, tousled hair, broad shoulders, dimples, and tattoos, I didn’t have a chance. Who could?

  What was Mattie thinking when she passed him up? Jeremy must be a Greek god or something.

  I start to feel bad for my reaction to Cade. It’s been over a year and a half since Mattie, and he hasn’t really dated anyone seriously that I know about. I would guess he thinks I’m rejecting him, which I am, sort of. I just can’t be with him. Whatever this is between us is too powerful. I know most girls would jump at the chance, to be with someone like Cade. It’s not that I’m just scared – I’m terrified. I had to witness heartache and disappointment from birth until my father died. If I ever do get married, it will need to be with someone who doesn’t create such a strong storm of emotion. Safety and security is what I need.

  ∗∗∗

  Behind the overgrown shrub is the ideal place to watch Cade and Laurel. I’m disgusted by their public display. It looks like they can’t keep their hands off each other. I thought Laurel was so reserved. What happened to the professional, good girl? Well, I hope they enjoy what little time they have left together. I’m going to make sure that relationship ends before it can get started. Keeping a close eye on them shouldn’t be too hard. I need to start planning. It can’t happen soon enough.

  Chapter 14

  Laurel

  “You know you’re going to have to apologize, right?” Sophie asks.

  “I hate apologizing. It implies I was wrong.” I close my eyes and shiver.

  “Well, that makes sense, because you were wrong Laurel. What were you thinking? You did a jump and run. That’s not like you at all.” Sophie’s face reflects how I feel, disappointed.

  “That’s what I’ve been telling you, Sophie. I’m not myself when he’s around. He makes me crazy. I knew this was a bad idea.”

  “All you have to do is get control of yourself, Laurel. You’re always in control. It shouldn’t be too hard.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Okay, I’ll meet him tomorrow at our usual time. I’ll apologize, manage to keep my hands off him, and we can get back to normal.” I think for a minute. “Except, Sophie, we don’t have a normal. We never have.”

  “You’re going to have to make a different type of normal, one that you both can live with. Just stay out of storage closets and off park benches and you’ll be fine.” She has the audacity to giggle, again. This is becoming a habit with her.

  “Yeah, you won’t be laughing when we’re out of jobs because of my unprofessional behavior. You know Kelly Ricci will be watching us very closely. She’d love to spread around some juicy gossip.” Sophie looks serious, finally.

  “Okay, I get it. What do I need to do to help?”

  “Come with me on our runs. We only have three more days in Seattle until we have to head back to do the legwork for the tour dates. We should have the recording studios booked by then.”

  Sophie groans and throws herself on the bed. “Ugh! I wouldn’t do this for anyone else.” She thrashes back and forth on the bed, trying to come to terms with her new duty. “Okay, I’ll be your babysitter.”

  “Great. I’ll have a short talk with him before our run. Then you don’t leave my side until we’re back at the hotel, deal?”

  “Yes, you have yourself a deal. But Laurel?”

  “Uh huh?”

  “If you start to kiss him again, I’m looking the other way.”

  “Don’t worry. That’s not going to happen.”

  I start to think about Douglas and his calm, predictable personality. “Sometimes I wish I had just stayed in the relationship with Douglas. He was ideal for me in so many ways.” I let out a deep sigh.

  “Laurel, I’ve told you a thousand times, a man like Douglas will never make you truly happy. You might think you’re happy, but I know you’d be bored and miserable. You’re a free spirit. You need someone who will travel the world with you, go on adventures, someone who will keep you on your toes.”

  “Why do you think Douglas wouldn’t do any of those things?” I ask.

  “He was a yes man. Everything you wanted, he’d go along with it. Weren’t you tired of that at all? I don’t think you got into one argument. Wait, he did argue about breaking up, didn’t he?”

  “Yes, that was weird. He kept talking about not wanting us to break up, how good we were together. He even said he was going to fight for me, win me back – and then nothing. Not a word. He must have changed his mind. I believe I made the right decision, but I think about him every once in a while. Things were so simple. You know what I mean?” I pause, and another sigh escapes. “With Cade, I can’t figure out how I feel – mostly overwhelmed, I think. With Douglas, I felt content. Is that so bad?” I’m so tired with the tug of war Cade is playing with my heart. It’s not his fault, but nevertheless, it’s an internal battle that’s draining my every rational thought.

  “I’m sticking with the fun, exciting life for you, Laurel. Once you get past the fear, someone like Cade would be the ideal match for you. Maybe it won’t be Cade, but you need to have someone in your life who won’t let you be ‘content’. You need someone who will challenge you, who will take you out of your comfort zone. You always tell me I won’t end up like my mom. Well, I’m telling you that you don’t have to have a relationship like your parents. You are so fearless about every other part of your life. Please don’t settle for Douglas or anyone like him.” Sophie’s eyes are intense, focused.

  She’s going to pester me about this relentlessly. I’ve to get her to back off.

  “Sophie, I know you want the best for me, but please, don’t push me toward Cade. You’ll have to believe me when I tell you I’m not ready for someone like him. Maybe in the future, but not now. I really want to focus on getting the band ready for their big promotion. I can’t deal with that and a possible relationship. Okay?” My eyes plead with hers.

  She relents. “Okay. You know I love you, right?”

  “Yes.” I know this for a fact. “I love you, too.”

  “So I’m going to try again, to talk you into a better choice for yourself, but I’ll give you time. I can see my pushing is only stressing you out and I don’t want that. Can you please think about what I said?”

  “Yes, I will. Now, let’s plan our strategy for Hard Reign. I’m really excited about this. They’re going to be huge.”

  We spend the rest of our evening getting wrapped up in the details of marketing the band. Once they get their demo made and we shop them to the labels, it will be a bidding war. I want it to happen right now, but I know these things take time.

  Cade

  I’m sure she isn’t going to show up. I’m at the wading pool on the off chance Laurel makes our scheduled appointment. She ran off yesterday like a bat out of hell, so I’m doubtfu
l she’ll make an appearance. On the other hand, I believe she’s someone with a high level of professionalism, and she did make an agreement, so I stand here, conflicted. One minute, I’m sure I’ll be standing alone, the next, I’m looking around for her arrival.

  If I were a betting man, I would have just lost, because around the bend comes Laurel and her assistant Sophie. A smile forms on my lips as they approach me.

  “So, you’ve brought a bodyguard?” I ask.

  Laurel tries to contain her smile. “Sophie really wanted to run today. I couldn’t say no.”

  I look at Sophie’s body language. She’s slouched already. It looks like she needs a gallon of coffee. I wonder what bribery Laurel had to offer to get her to come today.

  “Can we talk for a minute, before our run?” Laurel looks a little anxious.

  “Sure.” I think I know what she wants. I stand, waiting for her to begin.

  She looks hesitantly over at Sophie. With a motion of her head, she starts walking a few feet away, out of hearing distance from Sophie. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry about yesterday. That was very juvenile of me. I know I’m sending you mixed signals, and if it makes you feel any better, I’m driving myself crazy, as well.”

  As I look into her conflicted and vulnerable face, I realize what I like so much about her. She’s honest. What you see is what you get. She’s scared, yes, but she doesn’t play games. She wasn’t playing with me yesterday. She was sincerely following her feelings – as mixed up and confused as they were. I can sympathize, because my feelings have been all over the place, as well. I keep wondering, if we were to get on the same track, what would it be like to be with her – really with her? Explosive, but in a good way. We both keep pulling back, just as things start to get interesting.

  I find myself standing, just staring into her eyes. Those gorgeous exotic eyes that keep pulling me in. She’s told me she feels like she’s driving me crazy, and she is. But, frustrating as it is, I’m actually enjoying it. I don’t want it to end. I step closer. She takes a step back, wary. I step closer again, and this time, she doesn’t move.

  “It’s okay, you know. I’m driving myself nuts also.”

  Her eyes are wide, understanding. I take some hair that’s come free from her ponytail and tuck it gently behind her ear. It’s happening again, I feel the irresistible tug to place my lips on hers. I need to kiss her, now.

  “I need to kiss you again. I’ll make it quick this time.”

  She closes her eyes, pauses, but then her beautiful light brown eyes reopen and they search mine. “No?”

  “Is that a question or an answer?”

  She takes a hesitant step toward me. “This will be the last time. I know we’ve agree to a ‘last time’ before. But after today, no more, okay?”

  “Okay.” At this point, I’d agree to give up just about anything.

  If this will be our last kiss, I can’t make it quick. I need slow. I place my hands on both of her arms and gently squeeze. Laurel relaxes in my grip. She’s surrendering, for now. She’s only a few inches shorter, so even standing, our bodies fit flush together, touching in all the right spots. I take a quick look to see what Sophie is doing, and she seems to be studiously examining a bush. I chuckle to myself as I turn my focus back to Laurel. Sophie has turned out to be a horrible bodyguard.

  Every time I kiss Laurel, it’s different. There’s always passion, too much passion. That’s part of the problem. It’s overwhelming, to say the least. This time I want it to be calmer, more controlled. I think Laurel will like that.

  I place my lips on her full, soft mouth. She immediately moves closer still. Her hands wrap around my back. I keep the kiss slow and careful, making sure not to take it too far too fast. Laurel seems to appreciate this new approach, but I think she wants more already. Her fingers move from my back up to my hair. She’s tentatively threading her fingers through what seems to be every strand. Feeling it, savoring it. My head starts to tingle, and I return the favor. My hands move up her back, and my fingers tangle in her ponytail. This needs to come off. I grasp the holder and give a good yank. Startled, we both stop for a moment.

  I tell her, “It’s not over yet. Just a little more.”

  Laurel looks so conflicted. She whispers, “Cade…”

  And just that one word does it to me again. This time I grab her roughly, too roughly. But Laurel seems to like it.

  She fists her hands into my shirt and says under her breath, “I give up,” and the kiss becomes what I’ve come to expect when we’re together.

  We can’t seem to do anything slow and steady. The passion between us is scorching. I feel as though I’m on fire. I’m burning for her. I’m not ready to stop. I don’t want to come back to reality. I’m about to ask her to please come home with me—I want this more than my next breath and I’m preparing to beg—when I hear Sophie clear her throat.

  “You two need a time-out. I’ve been appointed babysitter, and you two are not behaving.” Sophie gives us a guilty smile. She peers over at Laurel, looking for confirmation.

  Laurel closes her eyes, and when she opens them, I see the same resolve she had at the beginning of the conversation. “I’m sorry, Sophie. It looks like we do need a babysitter.” Laurel shakes her head, apparently scolding herself.

  “No, this one was all on me.” I hesitate, because I don’t want to say the next words. “I know this was the last time. You’ve made that clear. From this point on, all business – okay?”

  If I didn’t know better, I could swear I saw disappointment dance across Laurel’s eyes. She nods slowly, as if coming out of a trance. “Good plan. Sophie, you ready to run?”

  Sophie looks back and forth between us. “Do I have to?” she whines.

  Laurel lets out her breath. “For goodness sake, Sophie, it’s just a couple miles! You are a much better runner than I am.”

  “So true. It’s just that…” She pauses. “Um, well, it’s just that I feel like I’m interfering. I think you two have a lot more to talk about.”

  Laurel looks at her with panic written all over her. From her facial expression to her fisted hands. “Nooo. We just finished talking. We have it all worked out. Right Cade?” she asks hopefully.

  “Right,” I reassure.

  “Oh, you two.” Sophie drops her hands in defeat and mutters to herself. “It’s going to happen. Anyone can see that.” She turns and runs in the opposite direction.

  “I guess that’s our cue. Let’s go!” Laurel runs after Sophie, and I run after Laurel. Why do I think this might be a pattern?

  ∗∗∗

  The next day, Laurel leaves Sophie behind. That must mean she’s beginning to trust me. I’m going to do my best to honor her wishes. I vow to keep my distance physically, but I do plan to ask her more questions. I want to know more about her. After our initial greeting, we start along the familiar path.

  Thinking back on it, I realize now she really isn’t rejecting me as much as she’s protecting herself. I should know. I’m an expert at that. I’m trying to figure out why I keep trying to get through her barrier. Why don’t I just give up?

  We’re about five minutes into our run when I hear a voice shout, “Laurel!”

  I look to see a banker-type standing in front of Laurel. He would probably be considered handsome, if you liked the every hair in place, impeccably pressed suit and tie sort of guy.

  “Douglas? What are you doing here?” Laurel looks shocked.

  I wonder about her reaction. Who is this guy?

  “I’ve been in Seattle for a couple weeks. My firm wants to expand into the markets here, and they sent me to scout things out.” He openly glares at me and remarks, “So, you must be the rocker who stole my girl from me with just one kiss.”

  Laurel’s hands fist by her side. “Douglas! That’s none of your business. That was over a year ago.”

  Has Laurel been kissing other rockers? Let me think, over a year ago would have been… I remember, the kiss after our lunch at
Elliott’s down at the pier. She broke up with her boyfriend over our kiss?

  I raise a brow and look at Laurel for an explanation. She looks like she wants to melt right into the lake and disappear.

  “Douglas, we can talk about this later. Right now isn’t the best time.” She turns to me to make the introduction. “This is Cade. We work together, professionally.” Laurel glances back and forth between us.

  Douglas’ expressions softens. Mine hardens. Why is she making it sound like I’m nothing to her? Oh, that’s right. I am nothing to her. Suddenly, I’m pissed. I had the rejection part under control. Now I have a new emotion—jealousy. It feels hot and bitter. I don’t want her to see how this affects me. I don’t want to feel how this affects me. I need to get my emotions in check. I make the decision to get the hell out of here. I need to get my head together, and it’s not going to happen when I’m around Laurel.

  “Hey, I’m going to take a rain check on the run for today.”

  Laurel shakes her head.

  “It’ll give you a chance to catch up with your…friend.”

  I give them a backward wave and make my way back to my car at a quick pace. The irony isn’t lost on me. I’m doing exactly what Laurel did the day before yesterday.

  Running away.

  Chapter 15

  Laurel

  Douglas breaks into his signature grin, charming and personable. “Would you like to grab a coffee with me? It looks like I’m going to need to apologize again.”

  I really have missed his calm and genial personality. Right now, I’m not very happy with him, but we do need some closure.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure Cade wasn’t angry. He has a lot to do.” Do I want to spend time with Douglas? I decide that, yes, I think it would be a good idea for us to have a better conclusion, for both of us.

  “Sure, let’s get some coffee. I’d love to catch up. I didn’t like the way things ended the last time we were together.”

  We walk across the street to Starbucks and order our coffees. I always thought it was kismet we both liked caramel macchiato, no foam with whipped cream, extra hot. I believed it was a sign we were meant for each other. I guess a few similarities in coffee choice wasn’t enough to sustain a relationship.