Sir Ranald “Rivet” Caird was a career British intelligence officer for the Secret Intelligence Service, also known as MI6. Three years ago, he’d been named chief. That Merrigan not only reported directly to him, but could walk into his office for an unscheduled meeting, meant something.
“She threatened to quit,” Rivet added.
“Quit?”
“That’s right.”
What the hell had happened after she left the hospital saying her flat was across the street and she was going to rest? It had to have been something earth-shattering to make her threaten to leave MI6 when she had to know she was being groomed to be Rivet’s successor.
“She’s my best bloody agent, Butler,” Rivet barked. “Stay the hell out of her bed, and let her do her job.”
Kade wished it were that simple. He heard what Rivet was saying, but that didn’t mean he could give up on her that easily.
Maybe her feelings for him weren’t as strong as his were for her. Other than when she showed up with Paps and Razor, he’d been the one relentlessly pursuing her. Was he the reason she’d threatened to quit? He hadn’t had the balls to ask Rivet that directly.
She had a job to do, and she was damn good at it. That he and Leech were still alive was proof enough. God knew how many other ally agents she’d rescued from certain death, while putting herself in as much or more danger than those she’d saved.
There was so much more to Fatale Shaw than bringing color to Kade’s world. What an asshole he’d been, treating her as though all he cared about was getting her in his bed.
She had no idea how he really felt. It wasn’t just color she brought, she gave his life meaning. While he still loved his country with every breath he took, he knew in his heart that if he didn’t already, one day he’d love Merrigan above all else.
They’d just ordered breakfast when Paps quietly suggested to him that they have a meeting this afternoon to discuss their next course of action.
“There will be time for that on the plane ride home,” Kade told him.
“Roger that,” Paps grunted with a scowl.
He almost wished Paps would override him and call the meeting anyway. Kade had no more decision-making power at K19 than his other three partners did, it was just the role he fell into. Soon, though, that would change given his plan to walk away from the company he’d founded alongside them.
His main reason for not wanting to meet with the team today was his determination to finally have a conversation with Quinn. He intended to ask her and Lena to stay behind once they’d finished breakfast. At first, he considered scheduling a time for them to talk privately; however, upon reflection, he changed his mind. It would be better to rip the bandage off quickly this morning rather than the three of them to be filled with anticipatory anxiety.
—:—
It didn’t matter how many times Merrigan repeated in her head that it was exhilarating to be back in California, scouring every conceivable lead to find Calder’s stash, as she’d begun calling it; she wasn’t feeling exhilarated.
This was what she’d worked and trained for her whole life. She was in her element, never happier, right? Wrong. It was utter bullshit. She was miserable, and she had Kade Butler to thank for it.
As it turned out, one of the most helpful people she’d come across in her quest was Sorcha Butler. Yes, being around Kade’s mother was a daily stab in the heart, but the woman was not only a mastermind, she was a former agent.
“You should be running MI6,” Merrigan said to her.
“Aye, lass. I should.”
She laughed until Sorcha spoke again.
“Although, it is not I who would be the first female chief, Merrigan, ’tis you.”
There’d been a time it was all she’d aspired to. But looking at it now, did she really want to sit at a desk day after day, puppeteering hundreds of operatives around the world? Traveling to every corner of the earth was one of the things she loved most about the career she’d chosen for herself. Although operating under the constant threat of danger ate away at her.
On the surface, her current mission didn’t look all that dangerous or even mysterious. However, she knew United Russia had no real intention of abandoning the search for whatever Calder had been hiding. The deal Kade had made with them was to return the double agent to them dead or alive—nothing was said or agreed upon in terms of what exactly they wanted Calder for, but everyone knew UR didn’t want the man himself, they wanted what he had on them. If MI6 or the CIA found it first, they’d have the ultimate bargaining chip with the current Russian leadership.
It was a tossup as to who wanted it more. The UK’s relations with Russia had been spiraling downward since the 2006 murder of a British-naturalized Russian defector and former officer of the Russian secret service who specialized in tackling organized crime. MI6 had attributed the murder to FSB, the Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation, and had acted accordingly—freezing assets, ending intelligence cooperation, and expelling diplomats.
When another murder of a double agent occurred in the UK a few weeks ago, Anglo-Russian relations plummeted into their worst state in almost four decades.
Why did the UK care about United Russia? Because they controlled the government, which meant they also controlled exports of crude oil and gas. The UK and other EU countries were responsible for eighty percent of consumption, and without it, it would be a metaphorically cold day in her homeland.
What Merrigan couldn’t figure out, was why Calder couldn’t find what he hid himself. Given its importance, could he really have forgotten where it was? The only logical answer was that someone else had found it. Who, though? And what had he or she done with it?
Merrigan smiled. Solving mysteries like this one was the part of the job she enjoyed the most. When she could let herself get lost in crafting a theory, she didn’t think about the other things in her life as much.
Sorcha told her that the K19 team would be back later in the week, and Leech would be with them. While she’d grown to care about the man, feeling as though he’d manipulated her and the rest of his family into coming to say their “last goodbyes” seriously pissed her off. Given his recovery was going well, Merrigan felt no guilt about not wanting to see him when he arrived in the States.
As far as Kade was concerned, out of sight meant out of heart had a better chance of working. She was MI6; he was former CIA, and they were both looking for the same thing. Whoever found it wouldn’t necessarily be interested in sharing. It would serve her well to put the mission above all else—meaning, him.
“Don’t avoid him, lass,” Sorcha said, breaking through Merrigan’s distraction as though she could read her mind.
“Sorcha, I…” She shook her head. “I have a job to do.”
“Aye. A job.”
She heard the accusation in Kade’s mother’s voice, however kindly it was delivered.
“I don’t know what to say other than I think your son’s interest is focused elsewhere.”
“I dinnae believe that.”
Soon she would see for herself, just like Merrigan had, the night she watched them through the window of what had once been her favorite restaurant in Ramstein, one she’d never be able to set foot in again without being reminded of how much it hurt to see Kade and Lena rekindling their romance of years ago.
“It was never love,” Sorcha added. “He saved her.”
“And I saved him.”
Sorcha shook her head. “My Kade knows his heart. He’s been waiting years for it to speak to him. Now that it has, he won’t ignore what it’s telling him.”
“What about the other woman, Peyton? He was in love with her.”
She shook her head again, this time more vigorously. “Níl, tá tú mícheart.”
“Why do you say I’m wrong?”
“He saved her too.”
Maybe that was the only way Kade knew how to love. He was a savior and protector by nature, which was a big reason he’d chosen a
career in service to his country.
“We dinnae ken true love until we find it, lass. When we do, everything we believed before ceases to be.”
“Is that how it was between you and Burns?”
Sorcha smiled. “Aye, lass. I knew the minute I laid eyes on him. Did you ken I was in Ramstein hospital?”
Merrigan shook her head.
Sorcha’s eyes tightened. “Maybe there is something to loving a person who saved you.”
“What do you mean?”
“’Twas Burns that saved my life, although I dinnae ken until several days later.”
She went on to tell Merrigan that, as an agent, she’d infiltrated the Provisional Irish Republican Army, better known as the IRA. “I was at the Oxford Street bus station on Bloody Friday.” Sorcha unfastened her blouse and showed Merrigan the scarring on her left arm and back. “I survived, but we lost two agents in the blast.”
Merrigan was familiar with the events of that day. A total of twenty-four bombs were planted in and around the city of Belfast by the IRA, killing nine and injuring well over a hundred. At least seventy of those severely injured were civilian women and children.
“In a little over an hour, those bastards turned Belfast into a war zone.”
“Why was Burns there?”
“The bombs had been detonating for over an hour when MI6 got the intel that a warning had been sent to the Royal Ulster Constabulary about another bomb scheduled to detonate at Oxford Street, the busiest bus station in all of Northern Ireland.” Sorcha shook her head. “The two we lost refused to evacuate and were searching for the bomb when it went off.”
She stood and walked over to the window. “But you asked me about Burns, didn’t you, lass?”
Merrigan nodded.
“He was part of the crew the agency sent in via heli. ’Twas him that carried me away from the blast.”
“How did you end up in Ramstein?”
“He insisted I be transported there. I almost died several times due to infection, lass. If I had stayed in Belfast, it would’ve killed me if the IRA didn’t first.”
“Your cover was blown.”
“Aye,” said Sorcha nodding. “He saved my life in more ways than one.” She patted Merrigan’s hand. “That’s enough about that.”
Merrigan wanted to ask more, like what had happened between them at the hospital; how they’d ended up together, and how Kade had known his parents had been spies while none of his other siblings seemed to, but it was clear that Sorcha didn’t want to talk about it any longer.
“Will you come to dinner when they get home?”
Merrigan put her hand on Sorcha’s, a gesture she rarely would have used, but she needed the woman to listen to what she was about to ask, and more importantly, honor her wishes. “I cannot, and I hope you understand why.”
“Aye, lass. And I wull nae interfere.”
“I would appreciate it very much if you didn’t.”
Sorcha nodded, her eyes hooded with guarded acquiescence.
Merrigan looked out the window of the house she’d rented in Cayucos, a town south of Cambria. It was a more densely populated area than the smaller seaside village, and this time, she’d been smart enough to use a new alias to secure both the house and car she was driving. If Sorcha kept her promise, it would be very difficult for Kade to find her.
—:—
“It’s time for us to talk,” Kade began when Quinn and Lena followed him into his hotel room.
Lena looked ghostly pale. “Kade, please—”
“No, we’re going to do this now. Have a seat,” he said to both her and their daughter.
Kade took a deep breath, determined to get through this today and not let Lena or Quinn waylay him.
He pulled a chair close to where they were seated, and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “This is not an easy discussion for any of us—”
He stopped talking when Quinn teared up.
“Let me finish, sweetheart,” he implored, taking her hand in his.
She nodded.
“You are my daughter, in every way that matters. That’s the most important thing for you to remember.”
“It’s Calder, then,” she murmured, looking between him and her mother.
“We don’t know,” said Kade, wishing Lena would say something.
Instead, she looked as though she was about to be sick to her stomach.
“What do you mean?” Quinn asked.
“We made a decision before you were born that knowing wouldn’t change anything.”
“You were…together, though?”
“Yes, sweetheart,” he answered.
Kade waited for Lena to continue what he’d started. How much their daughter knew was up to her. It was her story to tell, not his.
No one wanted to forget the horrors of that night more than he did, except Lena, but their daughter deserved to know what had happened. Kade shuddered with the memory of it.
“Got a minute?” Leech asked when they were wrapping up their final day of training.
“Yes, sir,” answered Kade.
“Let’s take a walk.”
Kade followed him down the trail that led to the cabins where he, Paps, Razor, and Calder had been bunking during their training.
“We need to talk about Boiler.”
Kade nodded. His quick temper had earned Calder the code name.
“Burns and I have decided he won’t be reporting for duty with you, Razor, and Paps next week.”
“Shit,” Kade muttered. While he wasn’t surprised, the ramifications of that decision would be far reaching for the man who had ended up as not only his bunkmate but—more and more—his nemesis. They’d left competitive behind weeks ago.
“We’ll be talking with him later today, and while it isn’t necessarily within the confines of your need to know, with the way things are between the two of you, I’m giving you a heads up.”
“I appreciate it, sir.”
“On to a more pleasant subject. What have you and Lena decided about the wedding.”
“Something small with just our parents, sir.”
Given the nature of the job Kade had signed up for and was about to begin, they’d decided to keep the ceremony intimate, and the marriage under wraps for the time being.
“You and the other boys might want to make yourselves scarce tonight and give Boiler some space to pack his things and leave without an audience.”
“Understood, sir.”
There weren’t very many days that went by when Kade didn’t regret leaving the property that night.
“When my father told me that Calder had been released from the program, I tried to console him, to offer my sympathy,” he heard Lena say to Quinn. “He wasn’t the first recruit who didn’t make the team…”
“Mom, you don’t have to do this. I know what happened.”
The color left Lena’s face as she looked between Kade and Quinn. “How?”
Kade was wondering the same thing.
“I saw the police report.”
Kade was reeling as much as he knew Lena was, and while he tried not to react, he couldn’t stop himself. “What do you mean you saw the police report?”
“It was with the things I found at the cabin. You know, with my birth certificate.”
“Let’s take a couple steps back. What exactly did you find and where did you find it?”
Quinn explained that she’d ran into Laird at her grandfather’s place, and that he’d told her that he no longer owned it; his sons did. Then he’d given her permission to look around.
“I remembered a cabin my grandfather used to take me to, on the west side of the property, so I went to see if I could find it. I did, and when I was about to leave, something caught my eye.”
She told them how the wood floors were warped and that was how she’d discovered the box that held several documents—her birth certificate and the police report included.
“That was really all I pai
d attention to,” she murmured. “There was a lot more, though.”
“Where is it now?” Kade asked.
Quinn shrugged. “I don’t know, but Mercer probably would.”
“Why?” He shook with anger he was trying hard to control.
“Because he was there when I left. I assumed he took it.”
He turned to Lena. “What do you know about this?”
“Nothing,” she said in a quiet voice.
“I’m sorry,” said Quinn.
“There’s nothing for you to apologize for,” answered Kade. “My reaction…I was unaware…”
“It’s okay,” she mumbled, but he knew it wasn’t.
His anger frightened her, and now the tone of the conversation had changed.
He sat back down in the chair and leaned forward.
“I kept your letter,” she told him.
What letter? Kade’s mind raced, and then he remembered. “The trust.”
Quinn nodded.
He couldn’t remember exactly what he’d written, but he did recall telling her that Naughton was the trustee and to contact him.
“In it, you said that you and my mother loved me very much.”
“I meant it. It never mattered to me who your biological father was. You’ve always been my daughter.”
She bit her lip and looked back and forth between Lena and him.
“Say it, Quinn,” he coaxed.
“What if I want to know?”
He hadn’t been prepared for that question, but he should have been. If he were in her shoes, he would ask the same thing.
“Lena, do you have anything to say?”
“Quinn, I’m not sure—”
“You don’t have to be sure,” she snapped at her mother, displaying more emotion and tenacity than he’d seen to that point. Oddly, he was proud of her.
Lena’s behavior, though, bothered him. He understood her not wanting Quinn to know about the rape, and maybe not wanting to know whether Calder was Quinn’s biological father, but it wasn’t just that. Something more was going on, and Kade couldn’t put his finger on what it was.
The Return (Butler Ranch Book 6) Page 7