Out of Practice

by Carsen Taite

  “You ready to go in?” she asked Roxanne.

  “Are you?” Roxanne asked in a whispered voice, her brow narrowed in concern. “If you want to make a dash for it, I’m here for you.”

  Abby smiled. “As much as I’d love to be anywhere else right now, I think Mom might notice if I take most of the bride’s side with me. Besides, Campbell and Wynne are pretty giddy about weddings these days. I’d hate to rob them of the experience.”

  Roxanne took her hand and squeezed. She started to let go, but Abby held on, suddenly not caring about her reputation or what her friends might say. She laced her fingers through Roxanne’s, surprised at how natural it felt. “Let’s do this.”

  As they approached the door to the barn, Roxanne asked, “Are you sure you don’t need to do anything for your mom before the ceremony gets started?”

  Abby brushed away the creep of annoyance and guilt at Roxanne’s question. She knew Roxanne didn’t mean any harm, and normally daughters would want to be at their mother’s side for all the wedding stuff. But it wasn’t normal for mothers to marry everyone they met, so there was that. She stared into Roxanne’s eyes and saw only genuine concern and sincerity. “I’m not even sure what I would do.”

  “I doubt you have to ‘do’ anything. I bet checking in with her would be enough, you know, just to let her know you’re here to support her even if you don’t necessarily agree with her decision.” Roxanne grinned. “It’s like your roles are reversed for the day. You get to be the grown-up, the functional one. It’s like a gift you get to give yourself.”

  “Crap.”

  “What?”

  “I didn’t get her a gift.”

  “Oops.”

  “Not only did I not get her a gift, but I showed up with the goddess of all things wedding so it’s not like I can even pretend I didn’t know you had to bring a gift to your mother’s twentieth wedding.” She could feel panic rising in her chest. Why did she all of the sudden care about what was expected? Besides, what in the world was she supposed to buy since her mother had already acquired all the usual stuff from her past nuptials. Still, she felt like a heel for forgetting entirely. Roxanne reached out and squeezed her hand.

  “It’s okay. Send her something after the fact. She’ll get so many gifts today, receiving one later will really stand out.”

  Abby nodded. “I think I will go see her before the ceremony starts. You sure you don’t mind if I leave you here alone?”

  Roxanne glanced around at the crowd of people packing into the venue. “I think I’ll be fine.”

  Abby stood and edged her way down the row past her friends who shot her curious looks, but she didn’t stop to explain. She made her way across the room to a woman wielding a clipboard who looked like she might be in charge. “Hi, can you help me find the bride? I’m—”

  Without looking up, the woman snapped, “The bride is indisposed. You’ll see her when everyone else does.”

  Abby bristled at the rebuke. “I’m not angling for a special feature. Believe me, I’ve seen it before.” She pointed to a door to the left. “I’m betting she’s in there. Am I right?”

  The woman responded by finally looking up. She narrowed her eyes like she was trying to assess the threat level Abby posed. “Family?”

  “Yes.” Abby was used to everyone thinking she and her mother were sisters, in fact she joked sometimes that her mother married rich so she could afford the really expensive moisturizer. “Can you get me in? I’d appreciate it. I’m her daughter.”

  The woman raised a tiny walkie-talkie to her lips and whispered, “Daughter to see bride. Stat.” She pointed. “Go through that door and follow the hallway to the second door on the right. She’ll be waiting for you.” She shook her pen in Abby’s direction. “We’re on a tight schedule here, so you only have three minutes. Go.”

  Abby didn’t need the urging to leave control freak’s space, and on her way down the hall she wondered what Roxanne would think of her tactics. This had gotten to be a habit—wondering what Roxanne thought. She probably wouldn’t be strolling down this hall to wish her mother well were it not for Roxanne’s coaxing. And despite it being the exact opposite of what she wanted to do, she knew that Roxanne was right, and checking in with her mom would make her feel better about herself. She filed the realization under things to examine later and knocked on the slightly ajar door.

  “Is that you, Francine? I promise I’m almost ready, I just can’t seem to fasten this last button.”

  “You shouldn’t have to do that yourself,” Abby said as she walked through the door to see her mom standing with her arms contorted behind her neck, trying to reach the last button of her dress. “Here let me.”

  “Thank you, dear. I wasn’t sure you were coming.”

  Abby reached up and fastened the stray button. “Why would you think that? Just because you decided to accelerate this ceremony and only gave a week’s notice, by text no less?”

  “It couldn’t be helped. Russell’s work is taking him overseas and we don’t know when he will be back.”

  “Right. So you had no other choice but to marry him. Mom, it’s not World War II. You can hop a flight whenever you want, and there are things like phones and Skype and email.”

  “It’s complicated,” her mother said. “There’s the issue of a visa and he’ll be on a base and he may be there for a while. I’ve waited all my life to find him. I don’t want to waste another moment. Plus, we wanted to get married here with our friends and family. Mostly you.” She shook her head. “I know you don’t understand, but I’m glad you came.”

  Abby couldn’t quite process her mother’s emotional reveal, so she resorted to the tried and true. “I haven’t missed one yet.”

  “Abigail?”

  “Yes?”

  “Russell is the one.”

  “Sure, right.” The walls started to close in, and Abby edged toward the door. “Well, I’m sure you’ll have a happy life.”

  Her mother touched her arm. “Look, I know you have no reason to believe me, but I love Russell and he loves me. It’s not about money or status, things I used to think mattered. Russell is a good man.” She waved a hand. “The others—I thought they meant more than they did. I’m old enough to admit when I was wrong, but I’m not wrong this time.”

  Abby started to change the subject, but a nagging question burrowed its way to her lips. “How do you know?”

  “It’s hard to explain.”

  “Never mind.” Abby started toward the door. “Forget I asked. Come on. You don’t want to be late for your own wedding, do you?”

  “Abigail, wait.”

  Abby paused, but she wanted to run. Why had she even started down this road? She’d heard it all before. A few years would go by and her mother would tire of the same routine and start seeking more. It was an endless cycle doomed to be repeated because her mother would always seek to fill the void.

  But she refused to follow the same path. It might be lonely sometimes to accept that she had only herself to rely on for her own happiness, but ultimately, she was better off never suffering the disappointment of other people and endings that would always come. “It’s okay, Mom. He’s the one for you. I’m cool with that. We better go. You’ve got a room full of people waiting for you out there.”

  “Let them wait. They’re all here for the cake and there won’t be any cake until I say, ‘I do.’” She pointed at a couple of chairs. “Sit.”

  Abby let go of her resistance and sank into the nearest chair. “Only because it’s your special day. Spill.”

  “Russell is a good man and I don’t deserve him, but he loves me anyway. All the others? They didn’t love me, and I knew it at the time, but I traded security for love. All I had to do was be arm candy, and I never wanted for anything. Except someone to love me for who I am.”

  “And Russell is different how?”

  “It’s hard to explain.”

  “Well, you better try and fast since no one’s gettin
g cake until you walk down the aisle. If I were Russell, I’d start thinking of an exit strategy right about now.”

  “When you meet the one you love, exit strategies go out the window. Trust me, Abigail. You’ll know when it happens for you, but you have to be open to it.”

  “I’ll take your word for it, but I’m good just the way I am.”

  “You can be independent without being lonely. Don’t forget that.”

  Abby stood and helped fluff her mother’s dress, avoiding her steady gaze. “Okay. He’s the one. You’re happy. I get it.” She pointed to the door where the control freak with the clipboard was probably listening in. “It’s time. Do you have someone waiting to walk you down the aisle?”

  “Are you offering?”

  She hadn’t been and she started to say so, but then she caught the misty look in her mother’s eyes. She’d seen similar looks from her mother before, but this time felt different, genuine. Who was she to judge? Letting her mother have this moment didn’t mean she had to change anything about herself. The realization brought with it a sense of freedom, and she held out her hand. “Let’s get you your special day.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Roxanne pulled a Kleenex from her purse and dabbed at the corners of her eyes. After Abby’s descriptions of her mother’s marital exploits, she’d been expecting an impersonal ceremony, but while short and simple, the exchange of self-written vows in this charming venue was one of the most heartfelt she’d ever witnessed. She even thought she’d seen Abby get a little misty at one point while her mother was pledging her future to the bald, plain-looking man beside her.

  It was the way he looked at his new wife that sealed it. With absolute adoration, like there was nothing she could do wrong, nothing that could make him love her less. It was the same way Dan looked at Val, and the thing she would hold out for because there was no substitute for that kind of love.

  After the preacher pronounced them duly married, the newlyweds practically skipped down the aisle. Roxanne glanced over at Abby who, instead of looking at her mother and her new husband, was staring intently at her. She stared back for a moment, conscious she was smiling like a loon. “What?”

  Abby grinned. “You have the best smile.”

  “I bet you say that to all the girls.”

  “Hmmm, well, I might have told some they had a great smile, but ‘the best’? Nope.”

  “All right then, compliment accepted. Now, I believe you promised cake. Please tell me there’s cake.”

  Grace appeared at Abby’s side. “There better be.”

  “I second that,” Campbell said as she and Wynne popped up next to Grace. “And tequila. How about it, BBF, is tequila appropriate for an evening wedding reception?” She squeezed Wynne’s arm. “Inquiring minds want to know.”

  Roxanne looked between her and Wynne. “Am I wading into a Jose Cuervo-sized conflict here or are you just asking for fun?”

  Wynne shook her head. “Tequila is happening when we tie the knot. I’m resigned to the fact. Campbell’s the pro when it comes to all things spirit.” She leaned into Campbell’s touch and they locked arms. “In fact, I’m certain she has at least one of those airline-sized bottles in her bag right now just in case the bar isn’t stocked with her favorite brand.”

  Campbell play-protested, and Roxanne watched their easy affection with admiration and a trace of longing until Abby whispered in her ear. “Shall we?”

  A sign outside the barn announced the reception was set up at the other end of the property, and the woman with the clipboard was directing everyone to board a shuttle waiting at the entrance to the ranch. Grace, Campbell, and Wynne dutifully lined up, but Abby led her around the line, back to the parking lot. “You have an aversion to buses?”

  “I have an aversion to being trapped somewhere without the means to make a quick getaway. We’ll follow the shuttle—I promise.” She opened Roxanne’s door and waited for her to climb inside.

  Once Abby was behind the wheel, Roxanne asked, “I’m guessing your visit with your mother didn’t go so well.”

  Abby pulled in her lower lip and appeared to be giving the question hard thought. “It was…different. Not bad.” She shook her head. “I don’t know.”

  “The ceremony was nice. I liked that they wrote their own vows.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  Roxanne wondered what Abby was thinking. She’d seemed to be doing fine until she’d brought up her mother. If they were going to have fun this evening, perhaps the best thing she could do was change the subject. “Your law partners seem more like best friends than co-workers.”

  Abby smiled. “They are my best friends. Grace and Campbell have known each other for years and I met them in law school. We instantly hit it off and were inseparable until we graduated, then we all got job offers in different cities and got so caught up working our asses off to try to make partner, we hardly ever saw each other. Last spring, we had our five-year reunion, and after a few shots of tequila, Campbell gets this big idea that we should quit our jobs and start our own firm. So, we did.”

  “Wow. Just like that?” Roxanne didn’t try to hide her admiration for Abby’s daring move.

  “Yes. I was living in Dallas at the time. I marched into the senior partner’s office the next Monday and gave my notice. They cut off my network access and had security watch me pack that day.”

  “Harsh.”

  “Yes, but I’m sure they thought I was going to try to steal client info. It happens all the time. Some of the clients I worked with did follow me to our new firm, but I didn’t talk them into it.”

  “Was Barclay’s one of them?”

  “Yes. I’ve known Tommy since we were kids. There was no way he would’ve stayed with a firm that I’d left. He was pretty happy that I moved back to Austin.”

  “What does Wynne do?”

  Abby hesitated before answering. “She’s a lawyer too. She’s doing some contract work for us, but she’s kind of in-between regular gigs right now. We met her earlier this year.”

  “Feels like there’s something you’re not telling me. Is she on the lam?”

  Abby laughed. “No, but we did meet her when we were working on a case for Leaderboard. She was working for Worth Ingram and competing with Campbell for the client’s business.”

  “But Campbell won?” Roxanne still felt like Abby was holding something back.

  “I guess they both won since they fell in love with each other.”

  “Aw. What a great story.” She play-punched Abby. “Why were you so hesitant to tell me that? Is it because the story has a happy ending and you don’t believe in those?”

  Abby followed the shuttle into a parking lot near a large outdoor structure with tiny white lights hanging from the rafters that lit up the entire area. Roxanne loved the magical effect and wondered what else the bride and groom had in store for the reception, but right now she was waiting for Abby to answer her question.

  “It is pretty,” Abby said, following her gaze at the venue. She turned off the car and shifted in her seat. “I may not believe in marriage, but I wish the best for Campbell and Wynne. As long as they’re happy now, who cares about forever, right?”

  Roxanne wanted to argue the point, say that now was only temporary and people needed a future they could count on and someone to share it with, but she couldn’t deny Abby’s logic. If they all got hit by a bus tomorrow, the love they had today might be the only thing that mattered, commitment or not. “You sold me. Let’s go enjoy the now.”

  The reception venue was a picture-perfect display of simplicity at its best. In addition to the lights hanging from the rafters, twinkling fairy lights in Mason jars were strewn through the trees. They were greeted by a server dressed in jeans, boots, and a crisp white button-down carrying a tray of highball glasses.

  “Would you like to try the bride and groom’s signature drink?” he said. “It’s called Perfect Thyming. A blend of bourbon, with lemon and thyme-infused simple syrup.”<
br />
  Abby took two and handed one to her. “Didn’t you do a blog with signature drink recipes a few months ago?”

  Roxanne paused mid-sip. “I did.” She cocked her head. “How many of my blogs have you read?”

  “Plenty.” Abby grinned. “Research. It’s my job to know the competition.”

  “It’s not competing if you want the same thing.” Roxanne let the words roll out without censor, hoping they didn’t send Abby running. She needn’t have worried since Abby’s only reaction was a smoldering gaze.

  “Tell you what though,” Abby said. “I haven’t seen a blog that explores a very important issue that’s been on my mind.”

  “Well, good thing you have the expert right here so she can answer all your questions. Spill.”

  “What’s the minimum amount of time a daughter needs to stay at her mother’s fourth wedding before it’s considered rude for her to leave?”

  “You are incorrigible.” Roxanne pointed toward an arbor a few feet away. “There’s cake over there and I’m not leaving until I get the piece I was promised. Understood?”

  “Understood, but in the meantime…” Abby took her hand and led her around the corner to a gazebo on the ridge with a perfect view of the setting sun. When they were tucked away, all alone, Abby placed her hands on either side of Roxanne’s waist and leaned in close. “I’ve been waiting to do this since I picked you up tonight.”

  Abby’s lips were soft, grazing hers at first before pressing firmly against her mouth. Roxanne surrendered to the surreal pleasure of Abby’s deepening kiss, no longer caring that they were standing yards away from where wedding guests were gathering to celebrate the nuptials.

  Abby did this to her every single time—it didn’t matter that she resolved to keep her at arm’s length, Abby showed up with the compliments and the kisses and the fiery passion and made her forget she was unavailable and not even remotely interested in anything beyond sex. And the sex was amazing, but it wasn’t enough to make her compromise on the whole package. She wondered if she’d come to this wedding with Abby to assess exactly how relationship averse Abby was in real life. It was one thing to say you weren’t interested in the long-term, but who could resist the pull when you witnessed the walk down the aisle and the vows and the sealing it with a kiss? If Abby showed no signs of sentimentality after a full evening in the presence of all these triggers, then Roxanne would have her answer. But maybe…