I glance at the clock. Jessica will be here soon. We’re headed into town because holiday lights are being installed, right along with a massive tree to be lit at the festival. Grabbing my phone, I call her now, thankful for the friend she’s become. “I can’t believe I’m asking this. You wouldn’t have a random pregnancy test lying around, would you?”
“Wait. What? I thought you couldn’t—”
“I can’t, but I didn’t start my period, and I just need peace of mind that isn’t town news.”
“Well, it just so happens,” she says, “that I had a scare a month back. I might have one test left. I kept repeating just to be sure.”
“But you weren’t pregnant?”
“No. The doctor said it happens sometimes. We aren’t ready yet, you know? We want kids, and if it happened, we wouldn’t be upset, but we want to plan. Anyway, I’ll grab the suitcase I think it’s in. We were traveling during my panic attack.”
“At least that kept it from being town gossip.”
“Amen to that,” she says. “I’ll see you soon.”
We disconnect, and I quickly shower and then dress in black jeans and a red sweater. We are, after all, decorating for the holidays today. I’ve just filled up a cup with coffee when Jessica walks into my kitchen, also wearing a red sweater. “Aren’t we cute?” she asks, joining me at the island and whispering. “Where’s Roarke? Does he know?”
“He flew out to handle an emergency. And no, he doesn’t know.”
She sets the test in front of me. “Let’s go take it.”
I pick up the kit. “I can’t believe I’m doing this to myself. I can’t even get pregnant. I’ve told you the story.”
“It would be a special miracle, since you want kids. Go. Take the test.”
I pant out a breath, and we both hurry upstairs. I walk into the bathroom, pee on the stick, and leave it on top of the trash can to join Jessica in the bedroom. “It’s going to be a fast result, and I can’t look. If I am pregnant, I don’t even know if I can carry to term. I don’t want a miscarriage to shake me and Roarke up right now. I don’t.”
“Why are you thinking about miscarriages, woman? Stop working yourself up. You and Roarke are strong. You will be fine. The baby will be a miracle and wonderfully full-term and healthy. You want me to look at the results?”
“Yes. Please. I feel sick.” Literally, actually. I sit down on the bed and watch her disappear into the bathroom. She exits in thirty seconds, her eyes alight with joy. “It’s positive. You’re pregnant.”
I stand up. “What? Really? I am?”
“Yes, honey. You are.”
I rush past her and stare down at the test. I throw it in the trash and turn to face Jessica, who is now in the doorway. “Roarke hasn’t even asked me to marry him. What if he isn’t ready? And what if I can’t carry a baby? I need to see a doctor. I need to see one before I tell him.”
“You need to tell him, and then you both go see the doctor.” She stops in front of me, her hands on my shoulders steadying me. “You’re a team. Be a team. Tell him. There is no other answer.”
“Right. Right. You’re right. I’ll tell him. I’ll tell him on Thanksgiving. That gives him time to get back and for me to decide how to tell him. It’s a gift, right? I know he’ll feel like it’s a reason to be truly thankful on Thanksgiving.”
“Yes. Exactly. Tell him. That’s what matters.”
“Thanksgiving it is.” I don’t know why I’m letting this be an issue with Roarke. I’m not going to doubt him. He wants this, too, but nevertheless, my world is spinning. I’m afraid of believing this can be real only to have it fall apart.
Chapter Forty-Two
Roarke…
It’s the day before Thanksgiving when I land at Dallas Love Field to have Jason pick me up. “How does it look?”
“The ring or the real estate deal?” He hands me the bag he picked up at the jewelers. “The ring is huge, the biggest damn diamond heart you can get, I imagine. The necklace set in a stallion—clever, man. The real estate deal is going to take another week.”
I curse. “What the hell? I thought today was the day. That’s why I flew in here to sign the papers. And I’m proposing tomorrow.”
“And you’ll give her the deed well before Christmas.”
I grimace, already feeling really damn uncomfortable with the time that’s passed. “I’m on borrowed time here. Her parents could tell her before I can.”
“First of all,” he says, pulling out of the parking area, “you told me yourself that her parents have gone silent on her. They hate that she’s in Sweetwater. They don’t want her to know what shits they were to your family and the horses. Greed got them in trouble, not you. Secondly, even if they did tell her, I’ve got your back. I know what you’re trying to do for her. Stick to the plan. It’s a damn good one.”
Stick to the plan, he says, but I don’t know how I feel about that anymore. So much so that I spend most of the drive thinking about this, and by the time we’re pulling into Sweetwater, I’m convinced I’m doing this all wrong. I need to tell her everything bad and get it over with. I’ll give her the deed, let her digest the mess of the family war, and then end with the good. I’ll propose at Christmas and hope she still says yes.
Beside me, Jason’s phone rings, and he answers with, “Hey, babe.” He listens a minute and then hands me the phone. “Jessica.”
Here we go. I get to tell her there will be a wait on the proposal. “Do you have the ring?” she asks excitedly.
“I do,” I say, “but I’m going to wait until Christmas. I need to have everything on the table when I ask her. I need her to know there are no secrets.”
“You need to propose now, like tonight or at midnight to make it Thanksgiving or whatever.”
“Jessica—”
“I’m telling you that you need to do this, as a friend. Listen to me.”
I go cold inside. “Is she thinking about leaving me?”
“Oh God no, but you’ll understand soon. Just please do this for you and her.”
“Look,” I say. “I really want to tell her everything first. It’s eating me alive, keeping this from her.”
“Don’t tell her now. Propose.”
“No. I don’t want the proposal muddied by this. And I want her to hold that deed in her hands when I tell her about our family feud. That’s not today. I’m sure Jason told you that—”
“Roarke. Propose. Screw the title. Screw the family feud. Please listen to me.”
My brows dip, and I glance at Jason as I ask, “What the hell is going on, Jessica?”
Jason shakes his head, telling me he’s clueless while Jessica says, “Friendship. My friendship with both of you. She wants you to propose, and she believes something special is happening on Thanksgiving. Don’t let her be disappointed.”
I’m officially irritated. “Did you tell her?”
“No! No. She told me. She feels that Thanksgiving is a big day for you two. I swear to you that I didn’t tell her that you’re proposing.”
“Did the damn jewelers call her?”
“I don’t know anything about that,” she says. “Just don’t let her feel the hit of disappointment.”
“Right.” My lips thin. “Thanks, Jessica.” I hand the phone back to Jason.
Holy hell! I can’t wait now, and the truth is, I don’t want to wait. The two things that stick with me from that call with Jessica is that Hannah wants me to propose and that I can’t let Hannah down. I don’t ever want to let her down.
By the time Jason disconnects the line, we’re at my house, and I’ve pulled the necklace from the bag, inspected it, and stuck it in the pocket of the jacket I’m wearing. I grab the ring box next, open it, pleased with how it turned out. It goes in the other pocket.
“You doing this now?” Jason asks.
“Seems I am,” I say, popping open the door.
“Good luck, man.”
“My good luck was when she came back.” I exit into a chilly afternoon and eye the Jeep by the door, which means Hannah is home. Home. She’s home. That punches me in the gut in all kinds of ways. This is where she belongs. I can’t let any of this go south. I grab my suitcase and head inside.
“Hannah!”
Silence greets me, and I know what that means. She’s in the stables. I exit the house and walk toward a gated area where two horses that we ride often are running free. Once I’m in the stable behind the house, the one that I use for our personal horses, I saddle them up, complete with the Christmas saddle pads that Hannah bought for the festival, and then text Hannah where to meet me. In all of four minutes, she’s in front of me, wrapping her arms around me.
“I’m so glad you’re home,” she says, and there is so much genuine joy in her that I vow to never make her feel anything but happy to see me.
I cup her head and kiss her. “Let’s go take a ride.”
“Now?”
“Now.” I smack her jean-clad backside. “We’ll go sit in our favorite spot, and I’ll tell you a little story.”
“A story.” She smiles. “You tell me a story, and I’ll tell you one.”
“Deal,” I say, and in a few minutes, we’re riding, taking the fifteen-minute trip to the river, where we secure the horses. While we do so, Hannah starts singing, stroking her horse, Carrie’s nose, while my horse, Mercy, nuzzles her neck. I laugh as she makes up lyrics to “Rumor” to include Mercy’s name, and then I pull her with me under the tree. “About that rumor.”
“They’re willing to live large and let everyone talk.”
“I was talking about the one about you and me.”
She laughs that sweet, sexy laugh of hers that I want to hear every day for the rest of my life. “I’m pretty sure we’ve ended those rumors. Everyone knows that I’m living with you again.”
“Not all the rumors,” I say as I go down on my knee.
Chapter Forty-Three
Roarke…
“Marry me, Hannah. Be my wife. Do it for real this time.” I pull out the ring case and open it.
“Roarke,” she whispers, tears pooling in her eyes. “Roarke, oh God. I—”
“A new ring for a new start.” The diamond heart that is a full carat larger than the prior version glistens against the velvet.
She gasps. “You got me a new ring? I mean, I know you said you did and you did, but oh my God. Roarke. It’s stunning, and I can’t believe you did this. I didn’t know if you would and—”
“Say yes, Han. You’re killing me here.”
“Yes!” She smiles and laughs and smiles all over. “Of course, yes. Did you really doubt my yes?”
Relief that I shouldn’t need to feel, but I do, washes over me. I pull the ring out of the velvet and slide it on her finger before casting her a hopeful look. “You like it?”
“I love it, but I didn’t need a new ring. It’s so—big and beautiful, but I know this was expensive.”
“I really wanted you to have a new ring for a new us. I have one more thing for you.” I stand up and reach into my opposite pocket. “You still have your old ring.” I open the bag and the heart inside the stallion is a glistening diamond. She gasps and tears up.
“It’s amazing. It’s perfect. It’s so very special.”
I step into her and cup her face. “You’re so very special.” My voice is low, rough, laden with emotions no one but Hannah stirs in me. “You’re everything to me. I love you, Hannah.”
“I love you, too. Can I put on the necklace?”
“Of course you can. I’ll put it on you.”
She turns around, and I help her settle it at her neck, and when she turns back around, she’s tearing up. “This was your story you had to tell me?” she asks, touching the stallion with her fingers.
“Our story,” I amend. “This is our story.”
“Actually, our story is a little bigger than you might think.”
My brows furrow. “What does that mean?”
“It’s means—God, I hope you’re good with this, and I don’t know if it will stick or how it’s possible but—”
I know. Somehow I know what’s coming, and that call with Jessica makes sense. “You’re pregnant.”
“Yes,” she breathes out. “I missed my period, and I took a test, and I’m scared because what if I can’t carry a baby to term? And what if—”
I don’t let her finish that sentence. I kiss her, driving away the bad, vowing to always drive away the bad, before I say, “Don’t be scared, Han,” choosing my words carefully, ensuring that she knows that this pregnancy is special, but it’s not our beginning or our end. “Whatever is meant to be will be, and we will do it together. I need you. We need each other. That doesn’t change.”
“But you do want this? You do, right? It’s not just me.”
“You know I do, but only because it’s us, baby. Only because it’s a part of us. If it doesn’t happen, we have a world to explore together.”
“I know. I do. I really do, but I want this. I know you know I want this. But I’m afraid to even talk about it right now. I have an appointment booked with a doctor in Abilene.”
“We have an appointment,” I say. “When?”
“We,” she agrees. “The day before the festival, which is horrible timing, but I don’t want to put this off. That was the only time I could get in anywhere because of the holidays.”
“We’ll make it work.”
Her hand settles on my chest, heavier than I might expect. “I don’t want anyone to know until we feel like this is going to last.”
“Whatever feels right to you, Han,” I say, really damn glad I didn’t tell her about the family feud before now. The last thing she needs right now, while trying to carry our child through these early stages, is that kind of stress.
“So tell me,” I say, “when do you want to get married and where? Because tomorrow works just fine for me.”
She laughs. “Tomorrow?”
“Today?”
“How about—” She motions to the tree hanging low around us, our willow tree. “Here,” she says. “This is our special place.”
“When? And for the record, in case I didn’t make myself clear, tomorrow isn’t soon enough for me.”
“How about Christmas Eve? Just a small wedding, a few friends, and my red boots?”
“Your red boots, baby. And a red tie for me if I remember correctly?”
“Yes,” she approves. “A red tie for you. And if it’s only you and me, Jessica and Jason, I’m happy. And your father. And Linda. That’s all.”
“What about your parents?”
“I think I’ll call them right before the wedding. I don’t want them turning negative on me. I want to enjoy this time and all the planning. I’ll tell them I have a surprise and insist on them showing up.”
I know then that the sooner I hand her that deed the better, but it can’t be until after her doctor’s appointment. Christmas Eve is going to be special. I cup her head and lean in to kiss her. “Christmas Eve, I get to marry my best friend.” I kiss her, and we sit down under the tree and talk about the wedding for hours.
When we finally head home, it’s with a detour to see Jason’s house, where my grandmother and Ruth are hanging out as well. Hannah shows off her ring and necklace, and joy erupts around us. Jessica slips back from the chaos to nudge me. “Everything great?”
“She told me. And you were right. I don’t want to stress her out.”
“Are you happy?”
“Elated, but I don’t want to say that to her. I don’t want her to feel like a loss means I’m no longer satisfied.”
She squeezes my arm. “Good call. Oh, what the
heck.” She hugs me and whispers, “You two are perfect together,” before she releases me.
She’s right. We are perfect together, and somehow, some way, I need to make her parents see that, too. For Hannah, because she’s what matters.
Chapter Forty-Four
Hannah…
Thanksgiving Day at Jason and Jessica’s with Martha cooking is pretty special. It’s a time filled with laughter and family. I come through for Nick, too. He joins us and starts eating the minute he comes in the door. Roarke’s father even shows up with his new woman on his arm, and watching Roarke’s joy over this surprise is an amazing thing to behold. His dad’s girlfriend, Becca, is lovely, inside and out, with an abundance of red hair.
His father takes one look at my ring and hugs me so tightly, I can’t breathe. “About damn time you two got this thing moving.” He pulls back to look at me, and he looks good, healthy, happy. “When’s the big day?”
“Christmas Eve,” I say. “This just happened. We haven’t even had time to tell anyone.”
“I’ll be here,” he replies, glancing at Roarke. “You bet I will.”
He doesn’t ask about my parents, which sits a little odd with me, but then they’ve been gone a long time, and it seems they left quite bitter. It has to hurt Roarke’s father to be shut out by lifelong friends. It hurts me for him.
By evening, the two of them are on the porch talking for hours on end while I’m in the stables brushing Snowflake. “You’ll have your baby soon, girl,” I say. “If all goes well, we’ll be mamas together.”
I want to call my parents and tell them all my news, but they’re so negative about me being back in Sweetwater that I want to tell them in person. Thankfully, Roarke approves. If they don’t show up to the festival, then we’ll travel to them right away, to give them time to plan for a Sweetwater wedding and a grandbaby.
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