…
On the morning of my doctor’s appointment, I step onto the porch to find that deer standing at the bottom of the steps staring at me. It’s a magical moment, truly magical. Roarke joins me, and it doesn’t even dart away. “Hope,” he says, knowing what that deer means to me. “This appointment will be good news.”
It’s the perfect thing to say, but I ruin it by hanging over the porch and throwing up.
“You’re nervous,” Roarke insists. “About the appointment and the festival. That’s making your morning sickness worse.”
This after we’ve been on the road half an hour, and I’ve been talking to Jessica the whole way, only to hang up quickly and make Roarke pull over so I can dry heave on the side of the road. “You know what I read this morning?” Roarke asks.
“That pregnant sick women are emotional and cry a lot? Because I feel like I might cry.”
He smiles. “That sickness is a sign of a healthy pregnancy.” He strokes my cheek. “It’s going to be good news. I feel it.” He squeezes my hand and adds, “Remember the deer, Han.”
A few minutes later, we step into the doctor’s office, and I’m so nervous that my hands shake, and Roarke has to fill out my paperwork for me. It takes me a minute to even remember that I have insurance that I’m now glad I’ve had in place for years. I’m also happy to learn that my records have arrived from my prior doctors. It’s a good half hour later when I’m weighed, poked with a needle, and sitting in a doctor’s office with Roarke by my side. The doctor is a jolly old man, who reminds me of Santa Claus, and who delivers the best gift of all.
“Your chances of conception were next to impossible, but you are, in fact, pregnant,” he says. “Your risks during pregnancy are no different than anyone else’s. Is this good news?”
Roarke stands up next to me where I sit on the table, wraps his arms around me, and leans in close. “It’s amazing news,” he murmurs before kissing me.
…
The morning of the festival arrives with a rush of famous people in and out of our house and Jason and Jessica’s. It’s craziness, but it’s so much fun, with Christmas decorations on every store and window in the town. The Adeline High School marching band even does an early-morning show in the town square to launch the event. Linda and her team hit the town in time to take lots of photos of the event, and it’s not long before she’s at Jason’s house with all of us, with donuts in hand that Martha immediately throws away. I laugh as Linda complains right up until the moment that Martha hands her a homemade cinnamon roll that she devours. Someone else is at Jason’s house, too. Max the mad catcher, and soon, he and Linda are teaming up to help the town get ready for the scavenger hunt.
Midday, parking lots are filled and so are the streets. There are booths with games for the kids in town and at Jason and Jessica’s ranch. At our place, kids ride horses, visit a petting zoo, and parents watch the action. It’s all-day fun with a choir, baseball players tossing balls with kids, and lots of food that Martha coordinated with care. There are also television cameras that I control with the security I’ve hired, but it’s still a challenge. This little town has a lot of famous people in one tiny place, and it’s almost too much for the media to handle.
By evening, Sweetwater is a twinkling cheerful display of Christmas lights, and the town square awaits the auction and tree lighting, with well-placed heaters that may not even be needed. The temperature is in the seventies, a Texas-style holiday celebration for sure. We have horses with ribbons and holiday saddles, and the ranch is decorated. Nathan and Allison, as well as about another ten more staff members, are present, allowing guests to visit the retired horses. Luke is in charge of the auction, and he even makes up with Roarke, not that they were really fighting in the first place. Everything is perfect, except, of course, my parents’ refusal to join us, but Roarke and I plan to take matters into our own hands. We have plane tickets to leave to visit them in a few days.
I watch as Roarke steps onto a stage in town square that’s decorated with white lights. Tonight he’ll be auctioned off with ten other volunteers, after which the tree will be lit. The auction begins, and Linda cracks me up with her bids on Max. She pays five thousand dollars for him, but I suspect that Max might have donated that money. She hugs me when she wins and rushes to the stage.
Roarke, who isn’t even offering a date, but rather a tour of the ranch and a chance to ride with him, goes for just as high. Ruth also bids on a retired fireman from one town over. She doesn’t win, but the way those two look at each other, I think she’ll get her date anyway.
The auction is just wrapping up when a hand comes down on my arm. I turn in shock to find my father there. “Dad?”
“Come with me right now. We need to talk.”
Fear fills me. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”
He doesn’t answer. He bulldozes me through the crowd and to the side of a mustang statue on the opposite side of the town square, where I find my mother. “What’s wrong?” She looks thin and worried, her dark hair in disarray. She grabs my hand. “It’s true. You’re engaged to him.”
“I was coming to surprise you in Pennsylvania to tell you,” I say. “Next week.”
My father steps to her side, and he looks weathered and older than I remember but still fit. He’s not missing meals like my mother. “Roarke’s family drove us into bankruptcy. We’ve been trying to get our property back ever since. And now we can’t. We were informed that it’s being purchased. Roarke and Jason are buying it. He doesn’t want to marry you. You came to town, and you were a threat. He was buying time to get the property.”
My hand instantly goes to my belly, and I feel sick, not figuratively, either. I’m going to be sick.
Chapter Forty-Five
Roarke…
As soon as I step off the stage, Jason steps in front of me, and he doesn’t look happy. “Hannah’s parents are here, and they just pulled her aside. It didn’t look like a good thing, either. Sorry, man. We’ll get that deed. Soon. Next week. I’ll make it happen.”
I curse. “This isn’t on you. Where are they?”
“Mustang statue.”
I start to turn, but he catches my arm. “The property—”
“I don’t care about the damn property,” I say, pulling my arm free. “Right now, all I care about is how this affects Hannah.” I rotate, and I’m already walking, thinking about every move I’ve made to protect her and now her pregnancy, our baby. I’m trying to protect our baby, and now this.
I don’t want her upset. I don’t want her to find out about our families’ feud this way, and I pray that’s not what this is about. I pray her parents actually came here to put all that shit aside and to just see their daughter. I clear the crowd and come up behind the statue as Hannah’s voice lifts in the air. I’m just about to round it when something tells me to wait, to stop and listen.
“I’m fine,” Hannah says, her voice raised. “I’m fine. I was sick. It’s over for now, but you know why I’m sick?” she demands, not giving them time to reply. “Because I’m pregnant with Roarke’s child. We’re pregnant. We’re getting married.”
“You’re pregnant?” her mother exclaims. “I didn’t think you could get pregnant. Are you sure?”
“I’m positive,” she says. “And I’m happy. I can’t believe you both can’t just be happy for us.”
“Does he know?” her father asks.
“Of course he knows,” Hannah says. “Why would I keep this from him?”
“He’s using you and you got pregnant,” her father snaps. “He’s buying time with you to secure that land, Hannah,” he adds, and right when I think I’ve had enough, when I’m about to step into this, Hannah snaps back at him.
“If Roarke’s buying our old place, good. We need more room to help more animals.”
I couldn’t hope for a better response from her, bu
t it doesn’t back her father off. “And you don’t know about it?” he challenges. “Isn’t that strange?”
“I didn’t know about the ring before he gave it to me, either,” she argues. “Or the six dozen flowers he had waiting for me on my birthday. Or the surprise birthday party. He’s good to me. I love him, Dad. And I’m back to repeating myself here: why can’t you just be happy for me?”
“He cheated on you,” he says. “That video—”
“What video?” she demands, and I can almost feel her fury beating at them and at me. “I never told you about a video.”
“You sure as hell did tell me,” her father bites out.
“What video?” her mother asks. “What is this about?”
“The one Dad sent me to make me think Roarke cheated on me,” Hannah says. “You did it, didn’t you, Dad? No. Don’t answer. I can’t stomach the reply. I’m leaving. I’m going to be with the father of my unborn child and my future husband. I hope you both enjoy the festival. Try the cookies. The baby and I recommend them.”
“Hannah!” her mother shouts, making it clear that Hannah is walking away.
“Not now, Mother,” Hannah calls out, close to me now.
“Let her go,” Hannah’s father says to her mother, and then suddenly, Hannah’s rounding the statue and running smack into me. I catch her arms.
“Roarke,” she gasps. “Oh God. You’re here.”
“Yes,” I say, blown away at the way she just stood up for me, for us. “And I always will be.”
“I need out of here right now. Can we go somewhere, please?”
I don’t hesitate. I don’t ask questions. I link the fingers of one of her hands with mine, and I lead her away from the statue, with no real direction besides away. Two blocks down, I spy one of the horse-drawn carriages decorated for the event and donated by our ranch parked nearby. “This way,” I say, leading her in that direction and then helping her inside the carriage. Once we’re settled into the cushioned seat, I pull the blanket over her and wave the driver onward.
My hand finds her hand, and we look at each other, a world of history and emotion between us. “Did you hear it all?” she asks, and her voice is trembling; really, her entire body is trembling despite the mild night that can barely be called winter.
Aware that emotions and adrenaline have her, I pull the blanket around her shoulders. “I heard it all. You okay?”
“Are you?”
“Han, baby, you said yes to marrying me again. I’m more okay than I have been in years. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“My father sent that video.”
“I know that. I knew before tonight.”
“You knew?” She twists around to face me. “You didn’t tell me? When did you find out?”
“Right after you left for L.A. and changed your number. I didn’t know how to reach you, and that felt like a clear message to stay away.”
“You didn’t try very hard or you would have found a way.” She twists in the other direction, trying to get away from me.
I hold onto her hand.
“Let go,” she orders.
“Let me tell the story. Then, if you still want your hand back, I’ll give it back. Please. Make that deal with me?”
Her jaw tenses. “Fine,” she says. “Tell the story, but I want my hand back.”
I’d let her go and that’s where I went wrong. I let her go before, but I don’t think that’s what she needs from me now. “Right after you left, my father let me in on what was going on.”
“Which was what?”
“A highway was coming through town, right across our properties. All the animals would be displaced and you know that, at any given time, there are animals with us that can’t survive a move, including the retirees. It’s not something that can be done quickly on someone else’s terms. Your family and Jason’s seemed to understand. They agreed not to sell, but your father worked a side deal to give up part of his land. That move would have allowed the highway to cut in front of the property, right in front of the enclosures for the horses.”
“Why would he do that?”
“Money. A million dollars. He convinced Jason’s dad to sell, too. My father fought back. He hired someone who found an endangered insect on all of our properties. There are laws to protect endangered species of any kind. Those laws killed the highway.”
“My parents did that?”
“I think it was mostly your father, but yes.”
“I don’t understand. How did that drive my family into bankruptcy? Was my family in financial trouble? Did they need the sale to stay alive? Was he so panicked over debt that it affected his judgment?”
“My father does think that’s the case, which is why he offered them help, which they rejected. What ultimately sent your parents into bankruptcy was spending the advance they got from the state. The deal had a small print clause. If the deal died in sixty days or less, they had to pay back the money. They didn’t wait. They spent the money, and when they couldn’t pay it back, they were foreclosed on.”
“And Jason’s parents?”
“They never got paid, and thank God for it, or he might have ended up the same.” I lean in closer. “I didn’t tell you about the highway because as far as I knew, you hated me. You thought I cheated, and I loved you enough not to want to hurt you any more than you were already hurting. I knew the animals mattered to you. I knew your parents playing the games they played with their safety would upset you. What end did that give me but making you angry at them? That would have seemed like I was viciously attacking them. That would have hurt you all over again.”
Her lashes lower and then lift, torment etched in her beautiful face, brushed by moonlight.
“And the video? Why did he send that video? And why was she all over you?”
“Interesting story there. I was trying to get out off the elevator and she stepped in front of me and wrapped herself around me. Later, looking back, it felt like a setup.”
“He didn’t want me with you because he hated your father.”
“He told my father that we’d never get married. A week later, you were sent that video.”
“In other words, we lost years of ours lives over a highway.”
“We’re here now,” I say, squeezing her hand. “That’s what matters.”
“What was he talking about you buying the land?” she asks, and there isn’t an accusation in her voice. None. Not even a hint of her doubting me, a realization that speaks volumes about how far we’ve come.
“I’ve been trying to buy it for years,” I explain, “but it’s been locked down. When you came back, I knew I had to make that happen. I knew there was really only one person who could help. That’s when I finally told Jason the whole story.”
Her eyes go wide. “He didn’t know?”
“No. He was off playing ball when all this went down, and I didn’t see any reason to tell him that his father was willing to sell out the animals and the people who worked for him. Especially after Jason all but lost everything trying to save that ranch when his father died. Once he knew, though, all he saw was the need to help you and me. He went to his team’s owner, and he pulled strings. The idea was to tell you the history and then hand you the deed.”
“You were buying the land for me?”
“Yes, Han. For you. That was always my intent. It felt like a way back to you. We’ll have the deed next week. You can give it to your parents.”
She shakes her head. “No,” she says adamantly. “I’m not giving it to my parents. I’m giving it to the animals we can save with that extra land.”
“It’s your decision. That was how I always intended it to be. That’s how it will be. It’s yours.”
Her expression softens. “You amaze me with your generosity, Roarke. With the animals. With the people around you. With me.�
�
“Does that mean that I can keep holding onto your hand?”
“It means you better keep holding on. Don’t ever save me again if it means dividing us. Promise.”
“I won’t,” I say, cupping her head. “I told you, Han, I’m not letting you go again. I’m not letting you go again, Han. Ever.”
She leans in and presses her lips to mine. “I love you.”
“And I love you.”
We share a spontaneous smile, and her trembling is gone. She sinks against me, and I pull her under my arm, holding her close, the way I plan to hold her for the rest of her life. For several minutes, we ride in silence before she asks, “What do you think of the name Hope if it’s a girl?”
I smile and nuzzle her hair. “I love the name Hope.”
“And Matthew for a boy? It means God’s gift.”
“I love the name Matthew,” I say, because the truth is the name doesn’t matter. Hannah and the joy of sharing this life, of creating life with her, is what matters. That’s the gift.
Chapter Forty-Six
Hannah…
I wake the morning after the Christmas festival without feeling sick, which is a miracle, but then I’m snuggled into Roarke, and he’s pretty good medicine. So much so that I don’t want to get out of bed, but I have no choice. Today is festival cleanup, and we have to supervise a hired crew to make it all happen. With that in mind, it’s not long before Roarke and I are dressed in tees, boots, and jeans, ready for a workday, when Jessica and Jason show up, eager to talk about the festival’s massive success and worried about my encounter with my parents.
Considering they’re the only two people who know I’m pregnant, it’s good to share coffee and hear their thoughts. We talk about my parents and all that happened in the past but move on to the festival. “We don’t have the final totals,” Jessica says, “but the money we brought in tops six figures. It’s amazing. The auction was the big ticket. It was huge money.”
We’re all celebrating this news when a truck I don’t recognize pulls up in front of our house. “I’ll see who it is,” Roarke offers, giving me a kiss as he heads out of the kitchen.
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