Maal The First Skull- Shadows of the Mind

by Theodore Packwood

  Erigg and Reze’ disagreed on the validity of Reze’s behavior, but this was not something I was accustomed to. Do humans quarrel over each other’s actions? That was difficult to grasp at first, but many memories of humans arguing came forth to support this notion, most full of Hate between a man and a woman I did not recognize.

  Arguments should be resolved by logic, said Cerulean.

  How does Hate assist with resolution? asked Tawny, confused.

  So much yelling! said Amber.

  My lack of comprehension of humans resolving disagreements with emotion seemed to indicate I was not familiar with it. Which, in turn, brought forth a surprising theory:

  Am I not human?

  There were four, no, five different races, just in this bar. It seemed plausible, then, that I too, was not human.

  What are you, then, Maal? asked Tawny. Her tone always implied she knew the answers to her questions.

  Cholah sah V'rakbisah! called Carmine.

  “How can you know a language that I do not?”

  Jil looked at me strangely, while the voices laughed.

  Reze’ tried to put her hand on Erigg’s again, but he pulled it away. He scowled as he ate, jamming his spoon into his bowl to gather its contents. Knowing Reze’ as I did now, this was not a moment of affection—it was feigned. Perhaps her race had difficulty with emotion. Perhaps she would be sympathetic to my own struggle.

  You do not have difficulty with emotion, said Cerulean. Look how easily you are able to Hate.

  Reze’ abruptly snatched her fangs back from their bubbling mugs. She stood up and pulled off her cloak, laying it in a neat bundle where she had been sitting. Her smooth, brown skin glowed with a green shimmer in the firelight. She leaned backward, slowly stretching all the way to put her hands flat on the floor behind her feet, making an impossible bridge out of her body that seemed to drain away all of the conversation in the room.

  “It’s time to dance,” she said.

  Reze’ lifted one foot off the ground, then the other, and straightened them until she was in an effortless hand-stand. She lowered her legs back onto Erigg’s bench and pulled herself upright from that bizarre position. She hopped onto the table, then twirled three times on one foot before slowing to a halt to face Erigg. She looked down her nose at him, eyes large and dark above straight-set lips. Her ankle bracelets tinkled as she gently stroked his cheek with her foot.

  “Will you play for my dance, Erigg?” She gave his beard a tug with her toes.

  He had not been able to resist watching her twirl, and his face had softened. “Oh, aye,” he said. He reached for his antlers, and nabbed his spool of twine. He measured off a length of it before snapping it with his teeth. Jil was trickling out Hate and Shame, but her eyes were locked on Reze’, and followed her every move.

  Standing on one foot, Reze' began stamping on the table in a solid, slow beat, her bracelets jangling. Almost immediately the Goor were either stomping, or clapping, or pounding their mugs in time with her rhythm, matched by their ridiculous grunting.

  Tchurn woke from the noise and growled. He made a swipe with his arm at her legs, but she leapt to the next table, landing lightly, and started to dance there instead. She moved her hips in large round circles, with arms slowly moving around her body, as if caressing the air. Her long dark hair flowed around her like water.

  Will she dance for us, Maal? asked Magenta.

  Erigg had to turn sideways on his bench to keep her in view, setting the huge pair of antlers on his lap. He watched her leap from table to table, while his hands threaded the cord around two of the small, close-set points, creating a row of evenly-spaced, taut strings.

  She mesmerized the Goor with her slow, swaying seduction. Each table she leapt to, the tempo increased slightly. She twisted and swayed, arching forward so they could breathe on her belly, and bending low so they could see up her skirt. She draped her hair over the Goor’s heads, and drank from their cups.

  When she had danced on every table, she leapt down and began twirling in the center walkway. Erigg had stopped threading his cord, staring with his mouth open. I, too, had been captivated by her performance, but not to utter distraction. The tall, naked uXulu stayed away from her, trying to not draw attention to themselves as they clustered near the bar.

  The tempo increased. The Goor surrounded her, out of arm’s reach, as they shouted, pounded, and stamped. They breathed hard, in time with the rhythm. Not a one could escape her hypnosis.

  Reze' grabbed the nearest post with both hands, twirling around its well-worn edges, popping sounds beginning in rapid fashion; soon she was inhuman in her flexibility. She held onto the post with only her legs wrapped about it like rope, her torso flowing back and forth like silk in a breeze. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was open and she was rubbing her crotch against the post, the Goor stomping and yelling and pounding as fast as they could, spit flying from their mouths, tips of erect cocks peeking out from their dense crotch fur.

  “Look at how none of them touch her,” I said. “They Fear her strength.”

  Jil turned away, her Fear rising rapidly, covering her face with her hands and shaking. She knew too well what happened when their lust was high.

  Will they take turns with her, or fight over rights to rape her? wondered Magenta.

  I was eager for violence, but Jil’s Fear suppressed my desire. It was impossible to feel anything but Fear, and I struggled to grow angry to maintain control. She exacted pathetic weakness in me, again. Her Fear, my Hate, doing battle again within my ghostly chest.

  Reze’ turned to look upon the gathered beasts, arching her back against the post, seeing the crazed lust on their faces. She beckoned one closer with a curling finger, the other hand sliding down to her fang.

  The Goor shook his head. Not as foolish as you thought, Maal? asked Tawny.

  She pounded a fist on the post, once, twice, thrice, but still he would come no closer. None of them did. Her teeth bared and her fangs came out. She spun them in a circle, hoping to nick some of the closest, but they backed up. She hissed with holes in her teeth, her arms slicing in chaotic, twisting arcs, flashes of firelight winking off the blades, like they had in her memory.

  It was abruptly quiet, but for harsh breathing.

  The Goor evacuated, hopping over each other to reach the timbers overhead. They jostled for space on the lattice, and screeched at each other for getting in the way. They swung and jumped to the ladders, and hurriedly climbed away. Within moments they were gone.

  Only a few remained. Rop had physically restrained, to screeching defiance, four other Goor with no shoulder straps. He imparted commands to them, and pointing at the uXulu. He left soon after.

  Jil had escaped significant suffering, to my surprise. As she looked around, her Fear fell away like a heavy drape, leaving me feeling light and unweary. It was a relief to both of us; I did not want to suffer the monumental assault of her emotions if she was raped again.

  Reze’ approached Erigg, limbs and torso popping back into place. She stood in front of him, hands on her hips. She was angry. “Kiss me, Erigg,” she said, panting. But a hand stroked the hilt of a fang.

  He cleared his throat and reached for his mug. “Where are all them beasts off ta?” Erigg asked, avoiding her gaze. He drank deeply.

  “Their caves,” Reze’ said, then laughed cruelly. “All their hairy women walk like injured chikkens since I started dancing.”

  I laughed, and Jil retaliated with Shame.

  Erigg’s eyes snapped back to her. “Yew work them all up and send them off? Yew know every one of them is thinkin’ about yew when they bed their women.”

  “Oh, most certainly.”

  “Aren’t yew worried one of them will come after yew?”

  “They aren’t as dumb as they talk. The first night one of them dared to touch me. None of the others have dared, since then.” Her mouth curved up at the corners. “They didn’t like the way he died.”

  “Oh.”
Erigg winced, and shook his head to clear the thought. “How long have yew been dancin’ here?”

  “Three bluenights.” She swayed her hips back and forth, stepping closer to Erigg. “You didn’t play for me, Erigg.”

  “I didn’t know I had only one song’s time ta string me antlers!” He shook his head, and then strummed the twine he had looped between two inner points. A delicate trio of notes tinkled through the air, one for each loop. The fourth trailed off his finger, unfinished by the distraction of Reze’s dance.

  The gentle chord caught my by surprise. I was certain I had never heard the sound before, and was curious to hear it once more, but he cut the loops and ruined their chance to create aural fancy evermore.

  Erigg sighed.“We best leave tomorrow, then. Tha Goor will eventually try ta mob yew, and ‘twill not go well. I do not approve of yew beggin’ fer violence, Reze’.”

  She just smirked as she turned away from him, then spread her feet in a wide stance. Looking over her shoulder, she slowly bent at the waist until her head was touching the ground. She looked up at Erigg between her legs, holding onto her ankles. “Are you joining me in my loft this evening, Erigg?” she whispered. She swayed her hips left to right.

  You would not be afraid to join her, would you, Maal? asked Magenta.

  Of course he would, sneered Carmine.

  Jil hit me with Shame as she turned away, blushing fiercely. Erigg covered his eyes with one hand, then peeked through his fingers. He rubbed his face roughly.

  “Burnt beavver pelts, no! I actually want ta see the sunrise tomorrow!” But he could not look away.

  Reze’ sat down in a huff, crossed her legs, but could not keep them still. She put her chin in one hand and idly stirred the remainder of her soup with another.

  “Why did you bring me here? And him?” Reze’ motioned to Tchurn with her spoon. The huge Tror had gone quiet again, his arm thrown over his eyes, his face turned toward the underside of the table.

  “That, me lass, is not fer anyone’s ears but yours and Tchurn’s, and maybe two others. Best wait ‘til we’re alone.” Erigg nodded toward the four Goor still drinking at a table furthest away from the bar, on the opposite side of the walkway. One of the Goor quickly looked away. He said quietly: “Do yew think we could try ta free Jil while tha bulk of them are gone?”

  Reze’ shrugged. “I wouldn’t. Despite their rust, those chains are solid—I’ve watched the uXulu yank of them from time to time. It would take Tchurn’s strength to crack them, and just one screech will bring the whole tribe down. I watched it happen two nights ago, after the rest of the Goor had gone to bed. There was a confrontation between the uXulu and Hak, and the tribe was livid they had been woken. Hak got raped by three of them.” The corner of her mouth curled up.

  Erigg frowned, then sighed. He looked down at Jil, and smiled at her. “Don’t yew worry, lass.”

  Her emotional pleasure surged, but with it came Fear. “Please don’t fight them,” she begged. “They’re so cruel. Yew didn’t see what they did ta us when… when they attacked.”

  “How were they able ta capture this place? There’s only one way in.”

  Jil looked away as her eyes unfocused, and my hands were drawn toward her skull. I halted their advance, unsure of what I might see.

  Why the trepidation, Maal? asked Tawny.

  “They attacked…” she began, slowly. “…when most of our men had gone to trade with tha Kemiss. They must have been watchin’ the entrance, ta know tha men were gone. They burst in through that there door in tha logs, and there was no stoppin’ them. The few men left ta guard were overwhelmed, leavin’ tha rest of us helpless.”

  “The Goor killed tha whole Clan?”

  Jil’s eyes teared up, and Anguish poured out of her, so potent it paralyzed me. “I don’t know!” she cried. “I think those Clanmates who weren’t down here fled upwards,” she said, pressing against him and crying into his vest. “There’s a tunnel up there that me Clan carved up through tha rock to a hidden hatch. I hope some o’ them got away…” Then sobbing took her, and the whirlpool of Anguish engulfed me.

  “I hope so, too, lass.” Erigg hugged her against him, cradling her head against him. Reze’ noticed, and her hands went to her fangs, cradling the handles, but not drawing them. As Jil cried, Erigg’s embrace and a gentle song he hummed slowly dissolved a huge portion of her Anguish as he held her in silence.

  It surprised me that physical touch could provide such relief. Touch was for violence, or sex, nothing more. Yet additional memories came forth, of humans hugging for both elation and tragedy. I had no memory of hugging used as comfort among the other races, but little knowledge of them was available anyway. The uXulu were at the bar, engaged in another humming circles, which seemed to accomplish something similar. It was foreign to me that physical touch could affect emotion. It proved with certainty I was not human.

  Jil’s emotions alone were enough to break me; how could the entire race endure if they were constantly crippled by emotion? For creatures who felt emotions so potently, perhaps comforting touch was a necessity for survival.

  Yet another experience you are incapable of exploring, said Carmine.

  “Be silent,” I told her, but Jil believed I was addressing her. She sat up and wiped her tears away.

  “Didn’t yer men try ta take back tha place?” Erigg asked.

  “Maybe,” she said. “There was the sound of fightin’ many bluedays ago. A bunch of Goor went out through tha door and came back wounded, some of them with arrows in them.”

  Reze’ took a sip of her drink, idly cutting the table top with the tip of a fang. “You should have fought. Women are not helpless.”

  Erigg swung on her, face red. “How dare yew! Did yew know a thing about fightin’ when I found yew? Could yew have fought off a hunnerd Goor back then?”

  Reze’ looked down at her lap. “No,” she said quietly, looking appropriately abashed, but no color flushed her cheeks.

  Erigg grabbed a mug and drained it, slamming it down on the table. Jil flinched. Tchurn jolted in his sleep, but did not seem to wake. Erigg’s Hate was extravagant, but I could not feel even the barest sliver of it. All I could feel was Jil’s Shame and Fear.

  Without doubt, now. She is the only one whose emotions punish me.

  How then, will you sever this link, Maal? asked Tawny.

  You should have found the solution by now, said Carmine, but you are simple-minded. And easily distracted by…

  The delicious uXulu, said Magenta.

  Erigg took a deep breath, let it out. After a few moments, he asked Jil: “Did yew see a blond lad hereabouts? About as tall as yew?”

  She shook her head. “There’s only tha Goor, the uXulu, and Jedd’s family.”

  “Ah, well. Tha weather is terrible.” He sighed. “And it slowed me too much. Between Reze’s antics and Tchurn's temper, ‘tis golden fortune tha whole Inn has not become a slaughter house.”

  Reze’ smiled. “Tchurn’s been sick. Give him a few bluedays.”

  “Aye!” Erigg chuckled, then took a drink. As he wiped his beard, he threw another look over his shoulder at the Goor. His mug paused halfway down, and his look grew dark as he reached for his antlers. He managed to stand up, leaning awkwardly on his crutch, hopping as he tried to get his right leg out from under the table.

  The four Goor had been trying to approach steathily. Erigg had spotted them at an opportune time.

  Would you have warned them, Maal? asked Tawny.

  I chuckled, certain of the answer. Jil’s Fear spiked, from my noise or the approaching Goor. It was a strong blast, difficult to resist, but I maintained control. She moved to evacuate the bench, but the motion caught the Goor. They stared right at her, a pair of cocks showing interest.

  “Jil! Your Fear becomes obvious to them. Show them you are not afraid!”

  She sat up straight but her Fear did not reduce. Her eyes were wide, and darting; her body trembling to do the same.

&
nbsp; “Resist your body! It’s instinct of flight is a weakness you can surmount. You must be in control of your Fear. Stay and face them!”

  Her good hand gripped the bench; an attempt to anchor herself. It was a meager effort, but effort nonetheless.

  Reze’ turned on the bench, and she smiled sweetly when she saw the Goor. She arched her back, an exaggerated stretch meant to draw attention.

  “Reze’,” growled Erigg.

  The bald barkeeper scurried out from behind his bar to grab his son, who was wiping down a table. He yanked the tall lad and dragged him through the door to the kitchen.

  The uXulu noticed Jedd’s sudden evacuation, and followed his example. eXia took long strides across the walkway, and said: “Jil, come with me.” Without waiting for an answer, she pulled Jil off the bench and brought her along with the other retreating uXulu. Jil looked back at Erigg, and Shame burst out of her, but she did not resist. I was pulled toward the bar, unable to remain closer than an arm’s reach of Tchurn. The uXulu hummed to each other, clearly confused, their chains clinking as they were pulled nearly taut.

  “Lads, there’s no need fer trouble,” Erigg said. “Just go outside and let tha wind cool yer loins.”

  “No task,” one said. They pulled weapons: short pickaxes, and long knives.

  Y

  “What do yew want then, lads?” Erigg said lightly, a false smile upon his face. “I only have a few coins, but yew can have them.” He pulled out several grubby pieces of metal and jingled them in his hands.

  “Redbeard: no task,” another said. They moved forward again, spreading out.

  “Task: take coins,” said the third, pointing behind Erigg at the pile of shiny circles spilled out of Tchurn’s open bag.

  “Are yew mad?” Erigg said, subtly shifting the way he was holding the antlers. “That giant of a man there is a Lavalier. With a mighty short temper, at that! Yew wake ‘im up, and yew’ll be slaughtered.”

  “You task: no wake,” said the first, “Or Lez task: take out eyes.”