by M J Rutter
“I am in the middle of something,” he sighed.
I grinned, remembering his warm kisses, “I have something for you.” I said, he didn’t respond. “It’ll make you smile, I promise.” I added.
“Okay, I’ll be here in a few.” He said and ended the call.
He arrived at my office, his cheeks were flushed and he looked exhausted.
“You look so tired.” I sighed as he closed my door.
“I’m okay.” He shrugged.
“Have a seat.” I told him as I stood and walked to my door, locking it. So glad that the blinds were closed as I hadn’t opened them that day.
“So, what do you have for me?” he asked.
“Well, I hear that you didn’t have a lunch break and thought that maybe you were tired.” I smiled and placed a sandwich bag on my desk. “Are you hungry?” I asked as I sat beside it.
“Not really.” He said moving his eyes over my legs, my skirt sat just above my knee and as he stared, I crossed my legs. “So, you have half a sandwich for me, is that it?” he asked.
“No.” I smiled.
“I see, can I ask what it is that you have for me?”
I stood from the desk and moved towards him, sitting astride on his lap, I hooked my hands around his neck. “Me.” I said and kissed him, pushing my tongue into his mouth. His hands rubbed over my back as my fingers hooked under his tie.
“Ms Lindon,” he said between kisses. “I don’t think…”
“Mr Macalister, you are not here to think.” I said and kissed him again.
“But, we can’t here, they’ll hear us.” He complained. I stopped kissing him and stood from his lap, taking his tie in my hand, I tugged, pulling him to his feet.
“Come with me,” I said and led him to my small bathroom.
I closed the door, with only enough room to stand, I didn’t wait for him to find an excuse, I pulled on his button and fly until his pants popped open, pushing my hand into his boxers, I took hold of him and rubbed my hand over him as he groaned. He began kissing my neck, roughly caressing my breasts. Kissing him deeply, he pulled my skirt up my legs and pushed my panties down. He quickly pulled down his pants and boxers then froze,
“We can’t, I don’t have a condom.” He groaned.
“I don’t care.” I stated boldly as I sat on the edge of the counter and wrapped my legs around his waist.
“Are you sure?” He checked, I bit my bottom lip and nodded before he slipped inside of me and began to move.
It was fast, it was insanely hot and the most erotic thing I had ever done. Over in only a few forbidden moments, he was that apple to Eve, he was my forbidden fruit and he never tasted so good.
***
I couldn’t believe I allowed him to talk me in to going. I had spoken with Sue over the phone and she said that Jake was well aware of Cain and I and that he had promised to stay away from us both. For the sake of Cain’s grandmother and supporting a man I cared so deeply about, I dressed in a black dress and stockings, slipped my feet into my black high heels and walked down the stairs to Cain.
I literally shook with fear. I hadn’t seen Jake since that night at the restaurant when he not only broke my heart in two, he humiliated me. I didn’t want to come face to face with the man who very nearly killed me. I unravelled into a mess that no one who knew me now would recognize. I had given my all to Jake and to have him throw it all in my face, to discover that not only was he cheating on me, it was with two girls and he later fathered a child with one of them, crippled me emotionally.
Jake was like a disease, he had moved into my heart, said the right things, made me feel a million dollars and just like I was dependant on a drug, when he left me, I was nothing more than a shell. Empty and useless. He had stripped me back to bare bone and it took months and months to get over what he had done to me. Turner came to see me and I guess he saved me. He wouldn’t allow me to sit around and wallow feeling sorry for myself. He made me get up and shower, go out and live, I have so much to thank my brother for. Though I was certain he’d have something to say about me sleeping with Jake’s son.
I drove us across the town towards the cemetery. Mr Dalton had been most gracious with both Cain and me taking the time off to attend his grandmother’s funeral. It had been a whirl wind of a week and I was hoping things would calm down now. He sat silently beside me as the only sound in the car was an occasional sigh from Cain and the whir of the engine.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“I’m nervous.” He admitted.
“Nervous?”
“Yes, I am nervous for you.” He elaborated.
“How so?” I queried, surprised by his answer.
“Well, I know you are worried about seeing Jake and if he is going to say something. I just want you to know there is nothing he can say to me that will make me stop loving you. You are all I care about in the world.” He added.
“How did you get to be so charming?” I smiled and took his hand in mine, resting it on my lap.
“Well, I can safely say it was nothing to do with my old man.” He smiled slightly.
“And I can safely say, I know.” I beamed a grin.
There was no doubt that Cain was nothing like his father, not in who he was or how he acted and most definitely not between the sheets. Cain was one of the most generous lovers I had ever known.
We turned off the highway into the cemetery, our banter had relaxed us both, but as soon as my eyes fell on Jake, standing beside Cain’s grandfather, my heart leapt into my mouth. I parked the car and turned to Cain before we climbed out.
“Maybe I should stay here.” I told him feebly.
“Honey, you are going to get out of this car and take my hand, and then we are going to walk over there. I am going to proudly introduce you to my family as my girlfriend and I am not going to let you or anyone else ruin that. We are doing nothing wrong, we are consenting adults and I don’t give a flying fig about anything my old man has to say.” He affirmed. He took my hand and raised it to his lips, “We’re doing this, then we can get on with living our lives together.”
I stared at Jake through my rear-view mirror, he was shorter than I remembered, and he had definitely aged since I had seen him eight years ago. His female companion was younger than me and had the figure of a super model with long tanned legs and silky brown hair.
“You look beautiful by the way.” He said with a smile.
“Thank you.” I said and heaved a shaky breath. “Let’s get this over with then.” I opened my door as Cain opened his. We climbed out together and he walked around to me, taking my hand in his.
He led me towards his grandfather and father as my legs turned to Jell-O. The sun shone in streaks from the clouds and the birds sang in the rustling trees lining the path. Jake saw me and turned away dramatically as we approached. A small, blonde lady approached us as we reached Mr Macalister Sr.
“Cain.” She announced and wrapped her arms around him. “You must be Jenna.” She said to me as they parted.
“Yes.” I smiled and tried to swallow.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you. I am only sorry it’s under these circumstances.” She added.
“I am truly sorry for your loss.” I muttered nervously.
“Thank you. That’s my husband, Sam, and the two teenagers stood by the car, they are my sons, Isaac and Kyle.” She said pointing at her sons. Both had dark hair like their father and wouldn’t even look up from the cell phones.
“Thank you for coming, Jenna.” Mr Macalister said.
“You are welcome.” I smiled again, very slightly.
Jake finally turned around, his face had reddened, and he gazed at his son who was now more of a man than his father could ever hope to be.
“Can I have a word, son?” he asked.
“We’re ready to begin now,” the minister interrupted.
“We can talk after.” Cain said calmly.
We were led to the graveside where the minister talked o
f Cain’s grandmother. Her name was Evelyn and she was seventy-eight. She had been a lawyer and a judge in her life, she had travelled the world. She’d done so much with her life and it made me feel like I had done nothing in comparison.
Cain stood at my side and never let my hand go. I glanced at him as Susan read a eulogy, he had tears on his cheeks and allowed them to fall freely. Jake stood a few feet away from us and though I thought he would make me feel inferior, I liked the power having Cain at my side gave me. The ceremony ended and Evelyn’s coffin was lowered into the ground. Susan let out a cry and sobbed, as the final prayers committed Evelyn’s body to the ground and her soul to heaven. I hoped there was a heaven, one where my parents would be waiting for me.
Cain and I stood with his grandfather as the attendees paid their respects. Cain said he had better talk to his father, finally letting go of my hand and leaving me standing with his grandfather. As the guests were returning to their cars he told me that he had arranged a wake back at their house and asked if we would go.
“I uh, I don’t know.” I muttered flashing my eyes up at Jake who had walked back to the graveside and lit up a cigarette as Cain approached him.
“He won’t say anything to you, I told him that you are Cain’s girl and he just has to get over it.” He stated.
“If you are sure?” I checked not taking my eyes off Cain.
“I am positive. Cain has told us how much you have done for him and I can’t thank you enough. You are just what he needed, Jenna. You have made him so happy and I know he is besotted with you.” He added.
“Well, I am besotted with him too.” I admitted.
Cain returned and I informed him we were going back to the wake. He was surprised and as we drove to the house, he told me how his brief conversation with his father was amicable. That’s all I could hope for, I suppose.
The huge, iron gates opened as we turned up the drive. The grand looking house sat with the back drop of Mt Rainier in the distance. Surrounded by trees, the house was a cream, brick building with three floors and must have had about six bedrooms. I drove the car towards where the other cars were parked and stopped beside a black Jaguar.
“This house is huge.” I said as I switched off the engine.
“It is, I used to stay here when I was younger, so many places you can hide if you want to.” He winked. “It’s nice and all, but it’s too big for them and for my grandfather now, he will be so lonely.” He frowned. “My dad promised he will stay away from us, so it will be okay.”
“Thank you.” I swallowed hard on my dry and anxious throat.
“Let’s just grab a quick cup of coffee and then, if you want to, we can leave, okay?”
“Okay.” I sighed with relief and opened my door.
Taking my hand, he led me into the grand foyer of this enormous mansion. People dressed in black were standing around holding plates of half-eaten food and glasses, while muttering quietly to each other.
“Cain.” A girl announced as we walked towards the door at the back. We turned around, she had curly, brown hair and green eyes, a small mouth and was wearing a black dress with white polka dots. “I haven’t seen you in years.” She said. I felt Cain’s grip stiffen in my hand.
“How are you, Carla?” he asked.
“I’m good, it’s been hard since dad passed, but we’re getting there.”
“I did hear, I was sorry.” He said amicably.
“We expected to see you at the funeral.” She pressed darting her eyes from Cain to me.
“I couldn’t get the time off work.” He explained. “Oh, sorry. This is Jenna.”
“Hi, Jenna, I am Cain’s cousin, well, second cousin, Carla.” She smiled.
“Hi.” I smiled shyly. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“I better find my grandfather,” Cain muttered. “I’ll see you later, Carla.” He said and tugged on my hand. I smiled slightly as we walked away.
“Okay.” She smiled.
“Her dad and my dad were cousins, he died of cancer last summer.” He explained as we walked away.
“That’s so sad.” I sighed.
“Yeah, he was a nice guy.” He agreed. “She uh, she tried it on with me when I was about eighteen, so I keep my distance now.” He added sourly.
“I would too.” I smiled slightly. No wonder he tightened his grip on my hand.
We found his grandfather standing in the kitchen with Jake and Susan. They all looked at us as we approached. I felt my cheeks flush and my stomach jumped at Jake’s accusing eyes. He was drinking and I knew it would mean that it wouldn’t be long before his narcissistic side reared its ugly head.
We talked briefly before Cain made us a cup of coffee as he had promised in the car. I could barely swallow, though the food looked amazing, I had no appetite at all. As Cain talked with his cousin’s, Sue’s children, Jake appeared at my side.
“I have to say, Jen, you really surprise me.”
“Why is that?” I stiffened.
“My son, what is it, you can’t have me so you moved in on my son?”
“If it makes you feel better to think that, then please do.” I retorted.
“It’s pathetic, Jen, but then that’s you all over, isn’t it? Pathetic.” He snarled.
“I may be pathetic, but I am not a cheat or a liar. We buried your mom today and she had a lot of people at her funeral who obviously cared a lot about her, I don’t think we’ll be able to say the same for you, Jake.” I snapped. “Let’s face it, even your own son wants nothing to do with you.” I added and walked away from him. I hurried out of the kitchen and looked for a bathroom.
“Are you okay?” Carla asked.
“I can’t seem to find a bathroom.” I replied flustered and close to tears.
“Follow me.” She said leading me up the stairs. “This place is so big, I had a hard time finding one myself, Aunt Sue showed me, so, I now know that it’s this way.” She continued. “So, you and Cain.”
“He’s a wonderful man.” I smiled.
“He is.” She nodded. “How long have you been together?”
“Not long.” I answered.
“You seem like you have known him forever, a perfect fit.” She beamed.
“I have known him longer than we have been together, let’s put it that way.” I gazed at the pictures of Jake in his graduation robes on the wall. I thought I could handle it, but it was clear that I couldn’t be in Cain’s life and have this connection to a man I absolutely loathed.
“Here it is.” She announced. I thanked her and hurried inside. I locked the door and gazed at my reflection. My cheeks were rose with a flustered blush and my eyes twinkled with angry, frustrated tears. I rinsed my hands under the cold faucet and patted my cheeks with them as someone tried the door.
“I’ll be right out.” I said drying my hands on a soft towel. I opened the door and Cain smiled slightly. “Are you alright?” I asked.
“I am more worried about you.” He said reaching out and stroking my arm. His hand felt warm and soothing, but I had to get a grip.
“I’m fine.” I tried to smile.
“No, you’re not, what happened?”
“Nothing,” I swallowed.
“Are you ready to leave?” he asked. I could only nod, though I felt bad for tearing him away from his family, I just wanted out of there.
He took my hand and pulled me towards him, he then pressed his lips to mine and as he pulled back, he gazed deeply into my eyes. For a split second, I could pretend that everything was okay, that we could be together and be happy, but the second passed in the blink of an eye and I knew there was too much against us for us to ever be truly happy.
Thirteen
We left after saying goodbye to Cain’s Aunt and Grandfather. He said a quick goodbye to his father and then we headed out to my car. I began to feel bad, I knew this was going to hurt him and it was a conversation I never wanted to have. But he had to know how I truly felt. I didn’t know if I loved him yet, still,
I did feel something, in fact, I cared a lot for him. He amazed me and treated me exactly how I wanted to be treated. He had made such an impact on my life and I knew he would leave a void. I had to be firm though, I had to tell him the truth no matter what it did to me. Cain did not deserve to be in a relationship where I detested his own father, it wouldn’t be fair.
He should never have to choose between a family get together or spending time with me. If we had children, what then? Their grandfather was my ex, he would most likely want to be a part of their lives too. No, it couldn’t happen that way, I had to do this. As I drove back to my house, I could think of a thousand reasons why Cain and I should be together, at that moment though, I could only find one reason why we shouldn’t, forgetting that I was older and how I came to know him, forgetting all of that, Jake was the only reason I couldn’t continue in a relationship with Cain.
“Are you hungry?” he asked suddenly, breaking the silence.
“A little.” I admitted. “Are you?”
“Starved.” He replied. “Let’s go out to eat.”
“Okay.” I agreed warily. “Where would you like to go?”
“How about that Italian place on Six?” he suggested. He seemed in a good mood considering where we had been.
“I know the place.” I smiled slightly. My face must have been so tight, it almost hurt to smile.
I parked across the street from the small, family run Italian restaurant that I had only been to once before. As we crossed the street, Cain was about to take my hand, but I couldn’t do it, I felt like I would be giving him false hope or something, so I searched in my bag and stopped in the street.
“We can’t go in here.” I frowned. “I don’t have my wallet.”
“It’s fine, Jenna. It’s my treat.” He smiled.