Academia Obscura
Page 25
2 Cressey, ‘Grant Application Rejected over Choice of Font’ (2015) Nature.
3 Obama, ‘Securing the Future of American Health Care’ (2012) New England Journal of Medicine, ‘Presidential Policy Directive: National Preparedness’ (2015) Bulletin of the American College of Surgeons, ‘United States Health Care Reform: Progress to Date and Next Steps’ (2016) JAMA, ‘The Irreversible Momentum of Clean Energy’ (2017) Science.
4 Paton, ‘Cost of a Degree “to Rise to £26,000” after Tuition Fee Hike’ (2013) Telegraph.
Write a poignant potato paper (page 44)
h > 12; k < 5; Erdős ≤ 3 (page 145)
Check out your teaching reviews online (page 136)
Co-author with your cat, or a recently deceased dictator (pages 195 and 111)
Make the perfect cup of tea (page 143)
Fake some data (page 68)
p < 0.05 or p = 1.72414e-06 (pages 106 and 83)
Waste time on Twitter (page 171)
Fail or pass an entire class (pages 124 and 127)
Steal a stapler (page 207).
‘Fuck’ in Nature (page 112)
Lecture while wearing a bum bag/fanny pack (page 136).
Figure 1: The underpant worn by the rat. Effect of different types of textiles on sexual activity. Experimental study. Shafik A.: Eur Urol. 1993;24(3):375-80. Used with kind permission of S. Karger AG, Basel.
Figure 2: Well-prepared cat. From Blanchard/Devaney/Hall. Differential Equations, 4E. © 2011 Brooks/Cole, a part of Cengage, Inc. Reproduced by permission. www.cengage.com/permissions
Figure 3: The stool collection process. An In-Depth Analysis of a Piece of Shit: Distribution of Schistosoma mansoni and Hookworm Eggs in Human Stool. © 2012 Krauth et al. is licensed under CC BY 2.0. Krauth SJ, Coulibaly JT, Knopp S, Traoré M, N’Goran EK, Utzinger J (2012) An In-Depth Analysis of a Piece of Shit: Distribution of Schistosoma mansoni and Hookworm Eggs in Human Stool. PLoS Negl Trop Dis 6(12): e1969. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pntd.0001969
Figure 4: Possible taphonomic scenario resulting in the accumulation of giant panda bones in the lower chamber. Remains of Holocene giant pandas from Jiangdong Mountain (Yunnan, China) and their relevance to the evolution of quaternary environments in south-western China by Nina G. Jablonski, Ji Xueping, Liu Hong, et al. in Historical Biology. Published 2017 by Taylor & Francis, reprinted by permission of the publisher Taylor & Francis Ltd, http://www.tandfonline.com).
Figure 5: Pressures produced when penguins pooh. Polar Biology, Pressures produced when penguins pooh – calculations on avian defaecation, Vol. 27, 2003, Figure 1, by Victor Benno Meyer-Rochow. With permission of Springer.
Figure 6: Cover of the first issue of Transactions. Royalsociety.org/~/media/publishing350/publishing350-exhibition-catalogue.pdf?la=en-GB
Figure 7: Strategically titled journals. Jason McDermott, RedPen/BlackPen, redpenblackpen.jasonya.com
Figure 8: Your manuscript on peer review. ‘Your manuscript as submitted’ by Jason McDermott, RedPen/BlackPen, redpenblackpen.jasonya.com
Figure 9: My reviews. Jason McDermott, RedPen/BlackPen, redpenblackpen.jasonya.com
Figure 10: Get me off your fucking mailing list. David Mazières and Eddie Kohler
Figure 11: The professor’s lecture. Sylvie and Bruno Concluded by Lewis Carroll and Harry Furniss, Macmillan and Co, 1893
Figure 12: Chickens exposed to natural hair beard on mannequin. Applied and Environmental Microbiology, 1967, Vol. 14, Microbiological Laboratory Hazard of Bearded Men by Manuel S. Barbeito, Charles T. Mathews, Larry A. Taylor et al. Reproduced with permission from American Society for Microbiology.
Figure 13: The writing process. Jason McDermott, RedPen/BlackPen, redpenblackpen.jasonya.com
Figure 14: The isolator. Science and Invention ed. Hugo Gernsback, 1925, greatdisorder.blogspot.co.uk/2010/03/focus-focus.html
Figure 15: Academic halloween costumes. Jason McDermott, RedPen/BlackPen, redpenblackpen.jasonya.com
Figure 16: Academic valentine. Jason McDermott, RedPen/BlackPen, redpenblackpen.jasonya.com
Figure 17: Paw prints on medieval manuscript. Cat paw prints on a medieval manuscript (close up) © Emir Filipovic, 2011. Flickr.com. Reproduced by kind permission.
Figure 18: Playful, experimenter-administered, manual, somatosensory stimulation of Rattus norvegicus. Laughing Rats Are Optimistic. © 2012 Rygula et al. is licensed under CC BY 2.0, Rygula R, Pluta H, Popik P (2012) Laughing Rats Are Optimistic. PLoS ONE 7(12): e51959. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0051959
Figure 19: Feynman diagram of bottom quark decay and 2-deminsional formula of 3,4,4,5-tetramethylcyclohexa-2,5-dien-1-one. Jason McDermott, RedPen/BlackPen, redpenblackpen.jasonya.com
Aaron, Hank, (i)
Abrahams, Marc, (i), (ii)
acronyms, (i)
Allen, Micah, (i)
Alpher, Ralph, (i)
Andersen, Hans Christian, (i)
Ansen, Eva, (i)
Ashdown, Paddy, (i)
Atkin, Philip, (i)
Bacon, Kevin, (i)
Baldauf, Sandra, (i)
Barbour, Virginia, (i)
Barwise, John, (i)
Baumeister, Roy, (i)
Beall, Jeffrey, (i), (ii), (iii)
beards, (i)
Bechdel, Alison, (i)
Beckham, David, (i)
Belafonte, Harry, (i)
Bennett, Craig, (i)
Bernoff, Josh, (i)
Bethe, Hans, (i)
Bezouska, Karel, (i)
Big Bang, (i)
Bohannon, John, (i)
Boxill, Jan, (i)
Bradley, Evan, (i)
Brar, Victor, (i)
Breed, Michael, and Janice Moore, (i)
Brewer, Ryan, (i)
Broockman, David, (i)
Brophy, Enda, (i)
Brown, Caleb, (i)
bumblebees, buff-tailed, (i)
Burnett, Dean, (i)
Buttery, Ron, (i)
Cabanac, Guillaume, (i)
Cage, John, (i)
Calabresi, Guido, (i)
Calvete, Juan, (i)
Cameron, William Bruce, (i)
Cantrill, Stuart, (i)
cats, (i), (ii), (iii), (iv)
reading Nietzsche, (i)
well-prepared, (i)
Cheeseman, Kevin, (i)
Chen, Peter, (i)
chickens, (i)
children’s books, (i)
Chomsky, Noam, (i)
Chu, Stephen, (i)
citations, (i)
and journal impact, (i)
self-citations, (i), (ii)
Clarke, Arthur C., (i)
Colbert, Stephen, (i)
Colditz, Graham, (i)
Collis, Stephen, (i)
conferences, (i)
Conway, John, (i)
copper nanotubes, (i)
Coronel, Felipe Andres, (i)
cows, defecating, (i)
Cox, David A., and Steven Zucker, (i)
Craig, Yvonne, (i)
Crowder, Deborah, (i)
Csiszar, Alex, (i)
Damon, Matt, (i), (ii)
Davey, Peter, (i)
Dawkins, Richard, (i)
de Brahm, Alcanter, (i)
de Solla Price, Derek, (i), (ii)
Deming, W. Edwards, (i)
Denham, Henry, (i)
Deville, Sylvain, (i)
dogs, (i), (ii)
Dolly the sheep, (i)
Double, Oliver, (i)
ducks, (i)
Dylan, Bob, (i)
‘Easter eggs’, (i), (ii)
Einstein, Albert, (i), (ii), (iii)
Eisen, Michael, (i)
Elbakyan, Alexandra, (i)
Elgin, Sarah, (i)
Ellis, John, (i)
Erdős, Paul, (i), (ii), (iii)
Erdős numbers, (i), (ii), (iii)
Euler’s conjecture, (i)
euphemisms, (i)
exam superstitions, (i)
> Fairman, Christopher, (i)
Farber, Daniel, (i)
Fernandez, Adrienne Evans, (i)
Filipović, Emir, (i)
Fisher, Len, (i)
Flegr, Jaroslav, (i)
Fleming, Damian, (i)
flying foxes, cunnilingus among, (i)
food, (i)
Fox, Ralph, (i)
Franck, Georg, (i)
Franklin, Benjamin, (i)
Franklin, Sir John, (i)
Franklin, Melissa, (i)
Freud, Sigmund, (i), (ii)
frogs
Japanese tree frogs, (i)
levitating, (i)
fruit bats, fellatio among, (i)
Frum, Jon, (i)
Fuck, R. A., (i)
Fuckel, Karl Wilhelm Gottlieb Leopold, (i)
Fujii, Yoshitaka, (i)
Gabor, Caitlin, (i)
Gaddafi, Muammar, (i), (ii)
Gal, Jozsef, (i)
Gamow, George, (i)
gaps in the literature, (i)
Garfield, Eugene, (i)
Garisto, Robert, (i)
Geim, Andre, (i)
Gelfand, Mikhail, (i)
Gernsback, Hugo, (i)
Gillingwater, Dan, (i)
Glaser, Donald, (i)
Goffman, Casper, (i)
Goldsmith, Kenneth, (i)
Goodman, Neville, (i), (ii)
Grafton, Anthony, (i)
Green, Donald, (i)
Griffith-Jones, Haydn, (i)
Grossman, Jerry, (i)
h-index, (i), (ii)
Hall, Nathan C., (i), (ii), (iii)
Hall, Neil, (i)
Halloween costumes, (i)
Han, Dong-Pyou, (i)
Hankins, Matthew, (i)
Hartley, James, (i)
hashtag, origins of, (i)
Hawking, Stephen, (i), (ii)
Hayes, David, (i)
Healey, Frances, (i)
Healy, Kieran, (i)
Herman, Bruce, (i)
Herman, R. C., (i)
Higgs boson, (i)
Higman, Graham, (i)
Hoover, William G., (i)
Horwitz, Irwin, (i)
Howley, Joseph, (i)
Huxley, M. N., (i)
Ig Nobel Prizes, (i), (ii), (iii), (iv), (v), (vi), (vii)
impact, (i)
of journals, (i)
Ingleby, Fiona, (i)
irony, (i)
Isolator, The, (i)
Jagger, Daniel, (i)
Jarosinski, Eric, (i)
Jellison, Kristen, (i)
Jenner, Edward, (i)
Jobard, Marcellin, (i)
Jobb, Gangolf, (i)
Johnson, Lyndon, (i)
Johnson, Rebecca, (i)
Johnstone, Peter, (i)
Jones, Meredith, (i)
Journal Impact Factor (JIF), (i)
K-index, (i)
Kabra, Navin, (i)
Kaczynski, T. J. (Unabomber), (i)
Kaku, Michio, (i)
Kalla, Joshua, (i)
Kardashian family, (i), (ii)
Kemp, Martin, (i)
Kennedy, John F., (i)
Kleitman, Dan, (i)
Kohler, Eddie, (i)
Kolata, Gina, (i)
Krohn, Maxwell, (i)
Krugman, Paul, (i), (ii), (iii)
Labbé, Cyril, (i), (ii)
LaCour, Michael, (i), (ii)
Leitner, Brian, (i)
Lie, Sondre, (i)
lipoid pneumonia, (i)
love and romance, (i)
Lynch, Jonathan, (i)
McCawley, James, (i)
McConnell, James, (i)
MacCulloch, Laura, (i)
McDermott, Jason, (i)
Mack, Katie, (i)
Manuwal, David, (i)
Marcus, Adam, (i), (ii)
marine energy, (i)
Mars, Roman, (i)
maths papers, (i)
Matzinger, Polly, (i)
Mauchly, John, (i)
Mazières, David, (i)
Mendeleev, Dmitri, (i)
Meyer-Rochow, Victor Benno, (i)
Miller, Karla, (i)
Miner, Horace, (i)
Moeliker, Cees, (i)
Mohamed, Ahmed, (i)
Molloy, Geoffrey, (i)
Monet, Claude, (i)
Monster, Taco, (i)
Moon, Hyung-In, (i)
nanopublications, (i)
Nature, (i), (ii), (iii), (iv)
Neuwirth, Lee, (i)
Nietzsche, cats reading, (i)
Nyang’oro, Julius, (i)
Obama, Barack, (i), (ii), (iii)
odontophobia, (i)
Of Mice and Men, (i)
Oransky, Ivan, (i), (ii)
Orme, David, (i)
Oxford commas, (i), (ii), (iii), (iv)
p-values, (i)
Pacheco-Vega, Raul, (i), (ii)
Palka, Bruce, (i)
Panksepp, Jaak, (i)
papers, academic
abstracts, (i)
alphabet papers, (i)
authors’ names, (i)
authorship credits, (i)
clichés, (i)
co-authors, (i)
footnotes, (i)
graphic abstracts, (i)
illustrations, (i)
titles, (i)
typos and blunders, (i)
Parent, Gabriel, (i)
Parker, Cornelia, (i)
Parse, Rosemarie, (i)
Patton, Stacey, (i)
peer review, (i), (ii)
penguins, (i), (ii)
Peris, Antonio Delgado, (i)
PhD Challenge, (i)
phencyclidine (PCP), (i)
Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society, (i), (ii), (iii), (iv)
Pietsch, Brenda, (i)
Pomerance, Carl, (i)
Pratchett, Terry, (i)
profanities, (i), (ii)
professors, hairy, (i)
publishing, academic
fraudulent and malicious publications, (i)
history, (i)
hoaxes, (i)
open access, (i), (ii), (iii)
peer review, (i), (ii)
plagiarism, (i), (ii), (iii)
preprints, (i)
pricing and profitability, (i)
recommended journals, (i)
retractions, (i), (ii)
scams, (i), (ii)
Pudwell, Lara, (i)
question mark, reversed, (i)
Rand, Ayn, (i)
Rao, Rajini, (i)
Rate My Professors (RMP), (i), (ii), (iii)
rats, (i)
in underpants, (i), (ii), (iii), (iv)
Read, Alan Walker, (i)
Research Excellence framework (REF), (i)
Reuben, Scott, (i), (ii)
Righetti, Pier, (i)
Roach, Mary, (i)
Roberts, Adam, (i)
Robinett, Warren, (i)
Rodell, Fred, (i)
Rosen, Nathan, (i)
Rowling, J. K., (i)
Royal Society, (i)
Rudaz, Serge, (i)
Saint Augustine, (i)
salami, rectal, (i)
salmon, (i), (ii)
Sandler, Adam, (i)
Schaul, Tom, (i)
Schmidt, Benjamin, (i)
Schneider, Reto, (i)
Schrödinger, Erwin, (i)
Schuman, Rebecca, (i)
scientific method, (i)
SCIgen software, (i), (ii)
Sclerotinia libertiana sclerotiorum Fuck, (i)
Seiden, Jeffrey, (i)
Selterman, Dylan, (i)
sexism, (i), (ii), (iii), (iv)
sexology, (i)
Sezen, Bengü, (i)
Shafik, Ahmed, (i), (ii)
Shakespeare, William, (i), (ii)
Shamim, Thorakkal, (i)
Shaw, Steve, (i)
Shit Academics Say, (i), (ii), (iii)
Shit My Reviewe
rs Say, (i), (ii)
Siffredi, Rocco, (i)
Sinpeng, Aim, (i)
Smith, William Edgar, (i)
Smolyanitsky, Alex, (i)
snails, energy saving among, (i)
social media, (i)
see also Twitter
Soifer, Alexander, (i)
Sokal, Alan, (i), (ii)
Sorensen, Ted, (i)
Spiegelman, Bruce, (i)
Stapel, Diedrek, (i)
Star Wars, (i)
Steel, Graham, (i)
Stewart, Patrick, (i)
stool collection, (i)
student accommodation, (i)
Tate, John, (i)
Tattersall, Ian, (i), (ii)
tea, (i), (ii), (iii)
teaching
athletics students, (i)
grading, (i)
student evaluations, (i)
underwater basket-weaving, (i)
Terras, Melissa, (i)
Tingling, Peter, (i)
Toxoplasma parasite, (i)
Treefinder software, (i)
Trotter, Hale, (i)
tuition fees, (i)
Turing, Alan, (i)
Twitter, (i)
Upper, Dennis, (i)
Valentines, (i)
vampires, (i)
Vamplew, Peter, (i)
Van Valen, Leigh, (i)
Vance, Jason, (i)
Wahlberg, Mark, (i)
Waldman, Katy, (i)
Wallace, David Foster, (i)
Walter, Barbara, (i)
Washburn’s Equation, (i)
Watkins, Todd, (i)
Watson, Thomas J., (i)
Watson & Crick, (i)
Wei-ling, Chiang, (i)
Weinberg, Steven, (i)
Werner, Alfred, (i)
Weyl, Hermann, (i)
Wheatley-Price, Paul, (i)
Wilde, Oscar, (i)
Wilson, Benjamin, (i)
Wilson, Logan, (i)
Winnie the Pooh, (i), (ii)
Winter, Thomas, (i)
Woodward, Robert, (i)
Wright, Steve, (i)
writing
acknowledgements, (i)
style and language, (i), (ii)
writer’s block, (i)
Young, Dannagal, (i)
Young, Sarah, (i)