Once a Maverick

by Raine Cantrell

  She tasted desperation. And hunger. She sensed he was holding back as he had been all these weeks. Despite his yearning sounds, his kiss was gentle. He rubbed his mouth over hers, almost a comfort-giving gesture. Dixie didn’t want comfort. She didn’t want gentleness.

  Her hands slid down from his cheeks and caressed his shoulders. She slipped her fingertips inside the open collar of his shirt, pushing the soft cloth away. The need to touch and be touched, to hold and to be held after her brush with death made her bold.

  His tongue shaped her mouth, pressing against the seam of her lips. Her lips parted, she wanted the taste of him. The intrusion of his tongue into her mouth was so tender, so sensual that she shivered despite the heat spreading between them.

  The kiss lengthened. He used his tongue to stroke the roof of her mouth. He enticed her with this mock act of love until she was weakly clutching handfuls of his shirt. When he finally lifted his mouth from hers, she whimpered in protest. He buried his face in the soft hollow between her shoulder and her neck.

  “Dixie, we can’t,” he groaned. “Don’t, Angel,” he added when she rubbed her mouth against his chest. “I shouldn’t want you.”

  But she felt the evidence that he did.

  Ty set her from him and walked to the open door, where he stood raking back his hair.

  “Perhaps it’s time for me to leave. I—”

  “No!” He rounded on her but didn’t make the mistake of crossing the room. Getting near her again would just about shatter the resolutions he was barely hanging on to.

  “Look, Ty, nothing has changed. I still intend to find Thorne and make him pay for killing my father.”

  “Like hell you will! He almost killed you. Do you think I’ll let you go?”

  Anger had replaced the desire in his eyes and Dixie heaved a weary sigh. “You don’t have a choice. I’m not something you own. I’d never be a possession to any man.”

  “Did I say I wanted you to be?”

  No. You didn’t say you wanted me at all. She kept her lips clamped tight lest she speak those words to him. Shaking her head, unable to discover what drove him, she tried one more time to reason with him.

  “There’s no reason for me to stay here, Ty. Despite your continued denial, I’m healed. I can’t repay you or your family for—”

  “Who the hell asked you to pay for anything? Who the hell—”

  “Don’t yell at me, Ty! I’m not—”

  “This is my house! I’ll yell at you—”

  The coffee cup he’d left on the table shattered against the doorframe.

  He stared at Dixie. “You threw that at me?”

  She stared right back at him. “It seemed the only way to get your attention and shut you up.”

  “I suppose I should be grateful that you didn’t have a gun in your hand.”

  She couldn’t repress the shiver that crawled over her. “Don’t make light of that, ever, Ty.” Dixie’s gaze locked with his. “I’m sorry I threw the cup.”

  “I’m sorry I yelled.”

  “I don’t know what has me so edgy.”

  He flung back his head, staring up at the rafters. His hands curled into fists at his sides. Counting didn’t help. Reminding himself of his need to stay away from her didn’t work, either. He lowered his head, leveling a hard look at her.

  She stood as if to flee, her hair entwined in a single, loose braid that curled over her shoulder and followed the curve of her breast. The ribbon ties of her nightgown were open, revealing skin that was the shade of pale honey. Sunlight streaked through the doorway at his back and bathed her in its glow. She had never looked more desirable to him.

  “Ty?”

  “You know what’s wrong, Dixie,” he began, advancing on her. “It’s the same thing that’s been eating at me. Get dressed,” he ordered, stopping short of touching her. “We’re going for a ride.”

  “But I thought—”

  “Yeah. I’ve done a lot of thinking, too. Get dressed and I’ll get the horses.”

  She searched his features, finding a residue of anger, but with it, in his eyes, was a blaze of desire so fierce she turned and ran.

  There was no more doubt that he wanted her. It was the only thought that blinded Dixie as she rushed down the hall into her room.

  At the far end of the hall, in the middle of her bedroom, Macaria placed her hand on Sofia’s arm, stopping the woman from following Dixie. “No. This must be between my son and his woman. There is nothing more for us to say. It is for him to decide.”

  “You will speak with Ty?”

  “No, Sofia. He would not listen to any words of mine. I am only his mother. She is his woman.”

  “That one will never have him dance to her tune, señora.”

  “Perhaps not, but she is strong, and she loves my son. For me, this is enough.”

  “And for him, it, too, must be so.”

  Ty’s black scowl warned everyone back and away from them as he and Dixie rode out. Only when he turned to look at her did his features soften. He had wanted to take her up before him on his horse, and ride as they had been doing for the past two weeks. He wouldn’t have lasted longer than it took to ride past the fence line of the home corrals before he took her.

  Dixie deserved better than another quick tumble. She had already had that and their recklessness nearly got her killed as a result. He owed her, and himself, something more.

  Much as Ty wanted to, he couldn’t shy away from the fact that he might not see her after tonight.

  Dixie watched him. Tension rode his lean body. There was something different about Ty today. She wasn’t sure what it was. She had a vague sense that he was worried. Every time he turned to look at her, she gazed at the firm set of his mouth. But she didn’t ask. If she did, she would invite his questions. She didn’t want to talk about the feelings that were coiled inside her, tighter than a tick and about as painful.

  She knew she increased the ache every time she gazed at him. But telling herself to stop was as useless as whistling against the wind.

  They crossed the creek where they had stopped several times before, but Ty kept riding, leading them through land covered with tall grasses. The sun made the day hot enough to pop corn and every insect seemed to want a bite of her. Ty, she noticed, didn’t appear to be bothered by them. She thought of the way Ty had raked his teeth down the side of her neck and a sensual shiver of awareness overcame her. She could almost feel the heat of his mouth and the sharp, pleasure-pain of his teeth nipping her earlobe.

  He turned to look at her just at that moment, his gaze hot, his smile knowing.

  She followed his lead as they neared a water hole and he circled wide to avoid disturbing the small herd of horses indulging in mud baths. Her mind conjured up the image of herself and Ty that day at the wash. It wouldn’t leave her. She shifted restlessly in her saddle, feeling curls of arousal spread through her body.

  Dixie let her chestnut have her head as they climbed grass-drenched hills, each one taking them farther and farther from the main house. She looked back once as they neared another plateau and couldn’t see any sign of their passing. In the far distance, one of the herds of Rocking K cattle was spread out and she could barely make out the outline of a rider watching over them.

  In the distance, a bright blue ribbon of water sparkled invitingly. As they rode closer, Dixie could hear the water tumbling over the rocks. Low-growing brush gave way to a stand of willows, but Ty rode a little ways beyond them to a lone, massive cottonwood.

  He drew rein and dismounted beneath the tree’s spreading branches. Before she could follow, he was at her side, lifting her out of her saddle.

  Dixie placed her hands on his shoulders and, even through her riding gloves, and his thin shirt, she could feel the lean, sculptured muscles. Her eyes closed as Ty slid her down slowly along the length of his body. Her breasts felt heavy and she didn’t think her legs would hold her.

  “That,” he murmured against her ear as he remove
d her hat and tossed it aside, “was to make sure that you understand how much I want you.”

  She looked into his eyes, eyes that reminded her of an unbroken night sky, glistening with the secrets of the dark. And she was distracted by the strange sensation that Ty was keeping secrets from her now.

  “Ty, if something was troubling you, you would tell me? I mean—”

  “I know what you mean,” he answered, lowering his head to nuzzle her neck above the open collar of her shirt. “And sure, I’d tell you.”

  His voice was muffled, and the heat of his lips scattering light kisses over her skin made her push away the disturbing thought that he was withholding something from her. She shoved his hat off, leaning closer to him as she looped her arms around his neck and pulled off her gloves.

  The moment he felt her bare hands slide into his hair, Ty brought his mouth to hers, caging her within his arms, and stripped off his own riding gloves. He stroked the length of her spine, pulling her tighter to his aroused body, leashing the force of his kiss.

  He had made himself a promise to go slow, to woo and court her passion. Why didn’t he remember that her need had been as great as his own? That she allowed him to take the lead only when it suited her stubbornness? He tried to temper his hunger, she unleashed hers, and he could feel the heat of desire trembling through her body.

  Dixie tried to maintain a hold on her reeling senses. She felt the way her lips curved into his. The hard length of his thighs pressed hers and he lifted her up slightly to cradle himself against the already dampening heat of her.

  She shuddered as he eased his tongue into her mouth slowly, deeply. He felt heavy and solid against her, in a way that was undeniably male, incredibly arousing. She could do nothing to stop herself from responding as he stroked and tasted her, for she had wanted this. Wanted him the same way she wanted air to breathe and water to drink.

  Ty resented the strength of will he had to exert to ease his kiss to tender touches, before he lifted his head.

  “Gently, Angel. Gently and slowly or you’ll burn us up where we’re standing.”

  Dixie forced open her eyes to see his serious regard. She tried to summon a smile. Her emotions were too raw, too heated and her lips refused to respond. She didn’t want slow, she didn’t want reason to intrude. She did want the fulfillment his kisses had promised. But she was very aware that Ty still thought she needed to be treated like fragile glass.

  He pressed his lips to her forehead, stepped to the side and caught hold of her hand with his. “We need to talk and it won’t happen if we stand here. Walk with me?”

  A curt nod was all she managed. Instinct raised an alarm. Whatever it was that Ty had to say, she knew it wasn’t what she wanted to hear. Somewhere in the time she had been sick, Dixie realized she had lost her ability to seal herself off. All the careful defenses she had built over the months she hunted her father’s killer, seemed to have disappeared. And in their place had come the dreams she once had.

  But Ty wasn’t a man for tomorrow. If she had learned nothing else during this time at his home, Dixie had come to understand that he didn’t want to be tied down. Shackled. That was the one word everyone used to describe Ty’s thoughts about marriage, a home, a family.

  He didn’t want tomorrows. Now it was all she dreamed about.

  She matched her pace to his, a slow, ambling walk toward the river. The breeze was cool, the sound of the water as it tumbled over the rocks in a shallow bed, a soothing song.

  Even though he said he wanted to talk, Ty remained silent. Dixie looked up at him, her gaze following his as it roved over the land before them. Despite the growing dread that formed a knot in her stomach, she eased her hand free of his and turned to face him.

  “Such serious regard means you have something on your mind, Ty. My father always said it was best to just say what was bothering you plain and simple. That way you didn’t get sick worrying over how to say the words, and the one you had to talk to wouldn’t get sick worrying what it was.”

  “Your daddy was a wise man, Angel. For some reason the words I need never come easy around you.” He drew her close and turned her within his arms so that her back was cradled against his chest.

  “Do you like this land, Dixie?”

  “It’s a good place for a homestead. Plenty of water, good grass—”

  “Yeah, it’s got that. This section of the Rocking K is mine.” His voice was soft, he had made it so, but he could feel the tension that wrapped itself around her as surely as he had wrapped his arms to hold her close. It made no sense to him why she was tense. After all, he reasoned, he was the one who was about to make her an offer he’d never made to another woman.

  “Would you be happy here, Dixie?”

  The words were whispered in her ear and Dixie inhaled sharply, releasing the breath as a sigh and, with it, letting go of the tension that had held her. Ty’s cheek nuzzled hers as he lowered his head and repeated the question.

  “What are you asking me, Ty? Plain and simple, all right?”

  “You don’t have a home to go back to. I want to give you this land.”

  “Give me this land?” She spun around within the gentle cage of his arms to face him. “Why?”

  He had hemmed and hawed all he was going to. Ty stepped back and rubbed his neck. “Plain and simple it is. I want you to give up this plan for revenge against Thorne. I want to know that you have a place of your own, where you will be safe. Conner likes you. He’ll help you build a home here. The land is mine to do with whatever I want. I want to give it to you.”

  He reached for her, but she spun away from him and stared at the blue ribbon of water. “Is this why you brought me here, Ty? To make me a present?” The need to see him, to look into his eyes was overpowering. Dixie gave in and faced him. He hadn’t moved, but his jaw had a stubborn set to it and his eyes were dark and narrowed.

  “Is this the way you say goodbye? It must be expensive for your family if you offer land to every woman—”

  “Don’t say it, Dixie. Don’t you dare cheapen what happened between us.”

  “I wasn’t,” she returned, then, in almost a whisper, she added, “I never did. I couldn’t.”

  He closed the short distance between them. He knew his grip was hard as he caught her upper arms and hauled her against him. “Damn! I’ve made a mess of this. All I want from you is a promise that you’ll forget about Thorne. It’s not for a woman—”

  “Ty, don’t. Don’t ask what I can’t give you. This isn’t your fight. I’d never ask you to make it yours.”

  “That bastard tried to kill you.” He pressed two fingers against her lips to silence her. “Just listen to me. Please,” he added at the mutinous look in her eyes.

  “Just suppose you went after him and killed him. You think you have the stomach to live with that? I know what I’m talking about, Dixie. Killing a man is never easy. The memory always lives with you.”

  Ty slid his fingers down to cup her chin. “I’ve never told another woman I cared about her the way I do you. I’ve never needed a woman before. Can’t you try to understand that I need to know that you’re safe? That you have what you long for?”

  “Ty.” She closed her eyes against the need she could see for herself in his eyes.

  “When you were ill you talked about home.”

  “Fever talk, Ty. That’s all it was.”

  “No, I won’t buy that. The words, the longings, those were from your heart, Dixie.” With both hands he cradled her cheeks, gently, but forcing her nonetheless to look up at him. “Those words weren’t lies. You have thought of what tomorrow will bring.”

  “And you? Do you ever dream of tomorrow, Ty? Do you long for a home of your own? A family?” The questions slipped out. She wished she could have stopped herself the moment he removed his hands from her face, his eyes briefly closed, his breath a sigh of regret. The realization of where this was all leading hit her with a sudden force. The dread that formed a knot in her stomach
tightened to pain. Ty was going to leave her. All her hopes came crashing down. She had to face the questions he had asked her. Would she be able to live with herself after she killed Thorne? Was revenge worth the price to lose Ty?

  She took that last as a given, for every instinct added reaffirmation that she would indeed lose him.

  If she ever had him…and regardless of her decision about Thorne. After all, Ty was a maverick who wanted no shackles.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The first step away from Ty was the hardest one she had ever taken. The second, she found, was no easier, but definitely necessary for her own survival. When she had managed to put a few feet between them, Dixie turned and ran.

  Ty didn’t let her get far before he caught her up around the waist and stopped her cold. “Running isn’t the right answer. It never was. I care about you.” He allowed her to twist around and look at him, but he kept his arm about her waist.

  “I care more for you than I have the words to say. I wasn’t looking to get tangled up with any woman, Angel, but we both know how good intentions pave the road to hell. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you.” He searched her face, especially her eyes for some sign that he was making sense to her. But Dixie had learned to school her features into revealing only what she wanted. She’d learned how the hard way. He’d learned the same lessons, but he cursed them now.

  He caught hold of her head, lowering his until his lips hovered above hers. “Don’t shut me out, Dixie. Hear what I’m telling you.”

  Ty brushed his mouth over the tight line of hers, his chest burning, his throat constricted, but needing to say the words he’d never spoken to another woman.

  “I love you.”

  The words were a whisper from dreams. He gave her no chance to answer, no chance to speak at all, for his lips closed over hers in a cherishing kiss that stole breath and reason with every second passing, until all she knew was Ty and the hunger he brought to life.