In Between

by Beca Lewis

  Even though it was the middle of the night, Bryan slipped on sweatpants and a sweatshirt, some old slippers, and headed to the attic. He hadn’t been up there since his mother died.

  In the hallway, he jumped up and grabbed the cord hanging from the ceiling, pulled it, and lowered the stairs to the attic to the floor.

  Bryan had the headlamp on that he used for walking in the woods in the dark, and it lit his way as he made his way up the ladder. It was a dark, dusty, creepy space.

  The boxes he was looking for were stacked together near the attic opening. Grabbing one box at a time, Bryan made his way back down the ladder until he had them all lined up in the hall.

  After washing up and grabbing paper towels and a bottle of spray cleaner, he headed back to the boxes. Inside the boxes were the picture albums that his mother had labeled and put in order.

  Only one had pictures lying loose near the top of the box. They were probably photos from after his dad died when his mother had little desire to do things like putting pictures in albums. But at the moment, those weren’t the ones he was looking for, so he put that box aside to look through later.

  Grateful for his organized mother, Bryan opened the box labeled number one. Inside, the albums were lined up by date. The earliest one was dated 1950. Bryan didn’t think his mother knew Edith then, or that it had anything to do with Edith, but he looked through it anyway. Seeing pictures of his mother as a young girl made him smile and tear up. She looked so happy. Was his mother always this happy?

  Bryan made his way through the dates until he reached 1960. It was in that album that he hit pay dirt. His mother would have been a freshman in high school that year. Halfway through, Bryan found a picture of her beside another girl. Leaning into each other, laughing at whoever was taking the picture. Underneath the picture, he read, ‘Edith Warren and me, May 1960.’

  Two beautiful girls, with their lives in front of them. What had happened?

  By then, the sun was up, and Bryan made coffee and then went to take a shower and get dressed for the day. If they were doing a practice run today, perhaps he would find answers to some of his questions.

  Twenty-Eight

  While Bryan walked in the woods, Rachel was in Grace’s living room, wondering what she had gotten herself into.

  Grace had told her to come by at 5:00 p.m. for dinner. She was told not to bring anything. She was their guest. Rachel could meet people, and then afterward, they would talk about what she needed.

  Although Rachel arrived at precisely five, everyone else had already arrived and were milling around waiting to say hello.

  At first, she felt like running from all the attention, and then she realized it was what she had come for—to be seen, heard, and supported.

  And Grace made it comfortable. She introduced Rachel to each person, telling Rachel a little about each one. Grace did it with such ease at first, Rachel didn’t notice what Grace was doing. When she did, she leaned in and whispered, “Thank you.”

  Grace smiled back, knowing what Rachel meant.

  The first person Grace introduced Rachel to was Valerie Price. Of course, they had met that morning, but when Grace introduced them this time, she added that Valerie used to be the principal of the school, after moving to Doveland with her husband, who had recently passed away. When a dark cloud passed over Valerie’s face at the mention of her husband, Rachel said nothing other than it was a pleasure to see her again.

  Standing beside Valerie was her older son, Johnnie. Grace explained that Johnnie was finishing up his schooling at Penn State. When he was home, he helped his mother run the small interior design business that she ran out of her home. Rachel smiled at Johnnie, thinking Johnny was the age of a child she might have had if things had been different.

  Moving on, Grace took Rachel to meet Pete Mann and his wife, Barbara. They were in the kitchen, making sure everything was perfect. Rachel had seen both of them at the Diner but had never met them officially. Grace added that Pete and Barbara had bought the Diner a few years before. They had discovered Doveland after Pete picked up a hitchhiker heading to Los Angeles.

  “Hitchhiker?” Rachel said, not understanding how a hitchhiker would have brought them to Doveland if the hitchhiker was heading to Los Angeles.

  “Grace, that is so confusing,” a woman said, coming over to stand next to Pete. She was tall and slim, with sun-streaked brown hair that fell halfway down her back. She was holding the hand of a very handsome man.

  The woman stuck out her hand and said, “Hi, I’m, Ava Anders, the hitchhiker, and this is my husband, Evan.

  “It’s a lengthy story, but the essence of it was I was trying to find my daughter, and afraid to tell anyone that I had one. It all worked out for the best, and I learned the valuable lesson of not trying to do life on my own. Which, I believe, is why you are here.”

  When Rachel nodded, Ava added, “We’re delighted that we are the people you came to for help. Knowing these people,” Ava said, waving her hand through the crowd, “you have nothing to worry about.”

  “Exactly,” Pete said, “But first, we eat!”

  As they walked to the table, Ava leaned over to Rachel and whispered in her ear. “I know we are a little much. But over time, you’ll hear all our stories. However, right now, we are here for you.”

  Rachel nodded, found her seat at the table, and decided that although she worried about what was coming, it might be the best thing that ever happened to her.

  The dinner was delicious. Grace had made her famous spaghetti, and Pete had made garlic toast. As Rachel listened to them all chatting and filling each other in with what was going on with them since the last time they met, she thought perhaps they were doing it for her.

  When Ava looked over at her and winked, it startled her. Had Ava read her mind? Who were these people? Did they all read thoughts? What else did they do? Did they see people like Connie and Eddie too, the same way that Bryan did?

  This time it was Johnny who looked over at her, smiled, and then looked past her shoulder into the living room. Rachel turned but didn’t see anyone there.

  When she turned back to Johnnie with a questioning look, he said, “A woman is standing there. Do you know her?”

  No one seemed surprised at what Johnnie had said, so Rachel asked him to describe who he saw. After Johnny described her as an older woman, graying hair, blue eyes, average height, Rachel answered, “It’s probably Connie.”

  “Well, she’s gone now. Most likely surprised I saw her. It takes some in-betweeners time to adjust.”

  Rachel nodded as if she understood, but she didn’t. She had so many questions she didn’t know where to start.

  Johnny had gone back to eating, so she turned her attention to the rest of the conversation, trying to take it all in but finding herself drifting away, wondering how she ended up talking about what people called ghosts as if they were real.

  Well, they are real, Rachel thought. She had seen them.

  And if she was crazy, so were all the people at the table. At least she was in friendly company.

  Rachel decided to stop worrying and enjoy the meal and the conversations. The time for worrying could come later.

  Twenty-Nine

  “All right, let’s get started,” Eddie said to the three of them gathered in Bryan’s living room.

  Connie, looking more substantial than the last time they saw her, sat in his mother’s favorite chair. Bryan couldn’t decide if he liked that she was sitting there or not. Or maybe liked wasn’t the right word. Was he bothered by her sitting there? Would his mother mind?

  Eddie interrupted Bryan’s thoughts when he said, “No, she wouldn’t. Pay attention.”

  Rachel had her hand on Bryan’s arm so she could see both Eddie and Connie. When she looked as if she would ask what they were talking about, Eddie shook his head. He was in no mood for anyone’s
questions.

  Eddie sighed.

  Sometimes he couldn’t believe that he had agreed to do this. People were so hard to deal with, so many questions, so much confusion. However, despite his frustration, he understood what Connie was going through and why Rachel wanted to know more about what he did.

  Eddie remembered when he first arrived in the in-between. He was as confused as Connie. Even more so because of how he died. And although his life with his father was difficult and often frightening, his mother and grandparents, Lorraine and Ralph, made up for it.

  Besides, right before his mother died, life had just started getting exciting. He had joined Little League, was learning how to Rollerblade, and was preparing to go to summer camp. And then she died. And not long after that, he died too. And when he woke up, he didn’t understand what had happened.

  Having been dead for so many years and helping more people than Eddie could count to pass safely through the in-between, he knew everyone died and woke up differently.

  Usually, older people were more prepared. Unless it was a violent death, then it was harder. Violent deaths were always harder no matter what age the people were.

  He rarely worked with people who died that way. Someone wiser than him would be their guide. Even after all these years, he still had trouble helping some people. It was probably because he so easily lost his patience. Something else he had promised his mother to work on. Learn how to be more patient.

  There were many reasons some people stayed in the in-between. Some did because they had unfinished business to attend to, like Connie. Others didn’t realize, or couldn’t accept, that they had died.

  Some people made the choice to stay in the different levels of the in-between. Often they stayed because they found a level where others who thought like them lived. Or they found people they had known when they were alive. They would stay with them and make a fresh life for themselves until they were ready to move on.

  Others stayed in the in-between because they couldn’t let go of a tie they had with those still living in the 3D material level of existence.

  Sometimes it was because they wanted to wait for, or watch over, a loved one.

  Sometimes it was because a loved one wouldn’t let go, which kept the person who died stuck in the in-between.

  That was something Eddie had a hard time accepting. He couldn’t understand the living who wouldn’t let the ones who died move on which harmed the people they claimed to love in the process.

  Then there were those like him who stayed to help people having trouble with the transition. Some of them specialized in the help that they gave, like the guides who assisted the animals, or people, who died violently.

  These in-betweeners were present at a person or animal’s death. He knew a family who lived in the in-between, who specialized in taking care of animals, who died after being hit by a car. They would walk the streets and highways, be there when the animal died, and then take it into their home to heal it before sending it on.

  But as with the living, to get help people had to be willing to be helped. Animals usually were, people more often were not. It was the people who carried baggage through their life into their deaths that were the hardest to help.

  As they had in life, they fought what was happening, afraid to face truths, unwilling to change. Eddie tried not to work with those people. He had made an exception with Connie because of his mother and Jillyan.

  Although Eddie had been present at Connie’s passing, she was unable to see him for weeks. Bitter, bored, angry emotions acted like barriers. Until they dissolved or broke down, life after death was difficult the same way it had been in their life before. And Connie had been full of all of those emotions.

  But some people moved right through to the light, like his grandparents. Eddie had stayed because his mother, who had been waiting for him, said he would learn how to help others. It was what he would have done if he had lived. With Connie, Eddie was fulfilling his last agreement to help. Then he would join his mother and hopefully his grandparents.

  Eddie knew that Connie, Rachel, and Bryan were learning that no one dies; they just move on. Life always lives.

  How to live that life was very much a choice, there or here. And that was what his job had been. To give the dead a chance to change what they had chosen in life. And in this case, also help Rachel and Bryan to stop drifting through life.

  As if it is okay to squander it, Eddie muttered to himself. There shouldn’t have to be a death to remind people of that, but sometimes that’s what it takes.

  The three people in front of him would learn things they might wish they didn’t know. But it would be worth it.

  Eddie had decided to tell them very little. If he told them too much about where they were going or what they were about to do, they wouldn’t pay attention to what was happening. If this was going to work, all three of them had to be present in every moment, without preconceived ideas of what they would do.

  He knew that Connie had an idea about what she would have to do.

  But then, she could be wrong.

  And Eddie wanted that uneasiness to work in her favor, not against her. The sooner she did the right thing, the sooner all of them would be free.

  Thirty

  Eddie knew Connie was trying to appear calm. But her twitching foot said otherwise.

  He heard the echo of his mother’s voice say, “Be patient, Eddie.” So he changed his mind about snapping at her for being nervous.

  Eddie also realized he was moving too fast.

  If he sent Connie back in time now, she would fail. She didn’t yet know enough to step back into who she had been over forty years in the past, and still keep the memory of her future death.

  She would have to confront what she had done wrong and make an alternative choice. Even with Bryan helping her, it would be too confusing. For anyone, not just Connie.

  And if Connie failed, he failed. He never pushed people this hard or this fast before. It was his impatient nature to get this over with.

  But it was more than that. Connie’s mistake affected him and his mother. It had defined all of their lives and even their deaths. He questioned if he was the right person to help Connie. But he knew his mother wouldn’t have asked him to if he wasn’t.

  Speaking out loud, Eddie said, “Slight change of plan. Instead of physically going into the past, you will only visit it but not be in it.

  “You will be an observer, only. If that goes well, we’ll move to the next stage. While you are observing, there is nothing that you can do, so don’t bother trying. That will come later. Observe carefully. What did you miss before? Don’t judge what is happening.

  “Bryan, this is Connie’s past life. She may get pulled in. Don’t let her. Your job is to be the anchor for her.”

  Turning to Rachel, he said, “And your job is to be the anchor for Bryan. He will still be here with you, just absent from his body. Stay in the now. Can you do that?”

  Rachel gulped, turned pale, and nodded yes, hoping that was true.

  “Bryan, be sure to check back with Rachel as you make this visit. Practice it. Don’t worry about how you do that. It will be obvious. Just don’t let your connection to either Rachel or Connie be severed.

  “Stay present at all times with yourself. Since you are going back in time, you won’t see your body, but you are still connected to it, as long as you don’t get sucked into anything. Rachel is your lifeline. Remember that.”

  As Bryan and Rachel stared at Eddie as if he was crazy, he turned his attention to Connie.

  “This may be harder for you. You will see things you didn’t see before. I know I keep telling you this, but I want you to really hear me.

  “Let me say it again. Don’t react. Don’t judge. Don’t get sucked in.

  “Pay attention to Bryan. He will keep you connected to the world as
you know it. If you don’t enjoy being in the in-between now, you will like it even less if you don’t do what I tell you to do.

  “And, you may see things that scare you. When you are out of your body, you will see others out of their body too. Like the world you know now, there are evil things out there. Remember. Don’t react, don’t judge, don’t get sucked in.”

  Rachel thought it was both strange and annoying to be told what to do by a boy of ten, who was technically a 50-year-old ghost, but when Eddie said, “Are you ready?” She forgot everything else but the idea that she was to be present.

  Eddie didn’t give them a chance to say yes or no, or even to acknowledge what he said.

  For Rachel, nothing changed except she could no longer see Connie and Eddie, and Bryan’s arm felt different.

  For Connie and Bryan, everything changed.

  One minute Connie and Bryan were in Bryan’s living room, and the next, they were at Edith’s house.

  The first thing that Connie saw was the calendar on the wall. She remembered seeing the picture of the daffodils on it when they had come back for spring break. It was the spring of 1968.

  At first, Connie thought she would be sick—if that were possible as a ghost. She was so disoriented she wanted to reach out and grab something, but couldn’t.

  She could see herself sitting in Lorraine and Ralph’s kitchen, telling them about her plans for the fall.

  Connie was aware that Bryan was with her somehow, but as she watched herself, she forgot him. It was all so unreal, seeing herself as she used to be.

  She had been so alive and excited.

  Edith was getting married. She was looking for a job in the city. She wanted to learn the ropes, and then she would start her own company. Be her own boss. Like Ralph, but bigger, more money, more prestige. More power.

  Everyone was so happy. Or were they?