MERMEN (The Mermen Trilogy Book 1)

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  Liv blinked at Roen, trying to take it all in. Don’t start crying hysterically. Don’t start crying hysterically. Maybe Roen isn’t crazy… Fact was, she’d seen the women’s reaction to the sun—like damned aquatic vampires or something—but there’d been one who hadn’t reacted to the light.

  “Obviously,” Roen continued, “the men protested and stopped drinking the water. We began growing old and dying off, so the island had to strike a compromise. We would conceive children on the island so that she could ensure they would be male—warriors—bound to her. And when those children grew up and returned, they’d take their father’s place and he’d have his woman returned to him as she once was. They’d be free to leave.”

  If any, any of this fantasy were true, then it sounded more like a hostage situation.

  “So the men serve dutifully,” she said, “hoping their women will be given back. You understand how all of this is crazy, right?”

  “I do.” He took a sip of his wine. “The problem is that the island didn’t keep her word. Not yet, anyway. Shortly after my people agreed to her terms, the island was invaded by Spanish explorers looking for the Fountain of Youth. We were unprepared and outnumbered, so we lost control of the island. If it weren’t for the women—who picked them off one by one—we would never have taken it back. The name the Spanish explorers gave the island, El Corazón, serves as a reminder to all of us of what could happen if we let our guard down.”

  “Okay,” Liv said. “You got the island back. So why didn’t the island keep her word?”

  “She says she’ll honor the agreement as soon as she feels safe again and the numbers of those who protect her are big enough. She’s been saying that for over five hundred years—and we have double the amount of men and maids.”

  “I’m guessing your people aren’t so happy about that.”

  “We are divided,” Roen said. “Some want to stay and protect the island. Others, especially the older ones, are at the end of their ropes. They believe that the island will never give us back our women, that she wants to keep everyone enslaved. Then there are those who believe in the scriptures—records of visions from our departed ones—which tell of a civil war. The island will lose its hold over us and be forced to set our women free. Some simply want it all to end so they can be reunited with the women they love in the afterlife.”

  “What do you believe?” Liv asked.

  “I believe the world has changed. We have access to defense technology, laws to prevent trespassing, and people who might protect her willingly. But until we secure the island and make her feel safe, she’ll continue demanding we have more children. And the women who turn out to be our mates will continue being turned into those creatures you saw.”

  Liv had thought that island was scary the moment she stepped foot there. But now, she thought the island was downright ruthless. Those poor women, the creatures, were the island’s leverage to ensure the men didn’t leave and did what she wanted, including making more warriors to protect her. The island dangled the carrot and the men hopped.

  “That’s why you’re planning to renovate—or whatever,” Liv said.

  “Yes. I’m going to change things. But I have to do it carefully, in a way that won’t create the wrong reaction. The island is like a frightened child who knows everything, but doesn’t have the maturity to put it all into perspective. Her weakness is that she needs us. Our weakness is that we—humans included—need her.”

  Liv wasn’t sure how much of this she believed, but Roen intended this conversation to lead somewhere. “Why are you telling me all this?”

  Roen set down his glass and rubbed his chin. “Did you break your promise and tell someone about us?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why, Liv?”

  She looked away. She didn’t want to say the truth. It was too painful.

  “Why?” he yelled, causing her to jump in her seat. “She let you go. She let you walk away. Do you have any fucking idea what I gave up in return?”

  So the island had used Liv as leverage against Roen? “That was why you stayed, wasn’t it?”

  He looked toward the fireplace, the muscles in his jaw pulsing. “Yes.”

  God. This was worse than she feared. Liv suspected something made him stay, but she’d hoped it was something weak and easily breakable. Or perhaps, something having to do with Lyle. But him giving up his life simply because he wanted to keep her safe wasn’t what she wanted. Seeing someone you love suffer is a tragedy. Seeing someone you love suffer because of you is hell.

  “After you left that room,” he said, “she told me she knew I was letting you leave, and she’d planned to punish me for it by hurting you. But I put my foot down. Lyle and I are the last Dorans in existence, and I promised her there would be no more if she touched you.”

  So Roen stood up to her. Of course he would. Roen didn’t take shit from anyone.

  “What did she say?” Liv asked.

  “She agreed to let you go, but only if I agreed to hold a Collection.”

  “I don’t know what that is,” Liv said.

  “It’s when we…” Roen took a short breath, “go to land and find women to bring back to the island.”

  “To claim,” Liv said disapprovingly.

  “Yes. Some will become maids and some—”

  “Will become mothers.” Liv couldn’t believe this. But his story explained why that man attacked her as she left the island. It also explained why those things suddenly came to her rescue—a bargain had been struck. “I-I don’t know what to say.” Liv ran her hands through her hair. It sounded like the island got what it wanted. “Other than you had no right to barter with the lives of others, or your own, just to save me.”

  Roen shook his head remorsefully. “Why wouldn’t I have? It was a simple deal. As long as you kept your end of the bargain—to never tell—and I kept mine, you’d be safe.”

  “How’s any of this simple?”

  “The Collection would’ve happened eventually. And I would have stayed regardless.”

  “Why?” she asked, her heart pounding away with volatile emotion. “Why would you want to stay there?”

  “You are not safe around me. We’re like poison, Liv.”

  “How can you say that?” Roen was anything but poison. That island, on the other hand…

  “I watched what happens to women who stay with my kind. It eats them away, drives them mad with grief. I’d never let that happened to you, regardless of how much I want you. So in the end, I gave up nothing I wouldn’t have given anyway. But you had to tell, didn’t you?”

  So he’d thrown in the towel before they’d ever had a chance, which deeply wounded her. He simply didn’t understand what he meant to her.

  “I needed help, Roen. You have no idea what I’ve gone through. The media’s been looking everywhere for you. People think you were kidnapped and I helped. Your own fucking lawyer has been harassing me. But, of course, they didn’t believe me when I told them I didn’t even know you, because you called them. You told them to come get me, but you were nowhere to be found.”

  “You should’ve kept your mouth shut.”

  “I tried. I really did,” she said angrily. “I didn’t say a word to the FBI, who detained me for two days. And I didn’t say anything to my family. Do you know how hard it is to look them in the eyes and lie? They know me. They know I’m hiding something. Even Dana and Krista, my own two sisters, won’t speak to me because they think I don’t trust them. My life has fallen apart, Roen. I have no privacy, the press keeps printing stories that say I’m a criminal, and I can’t go back to school! But I could’ve handled all that, Roen, I really could’ve if I didn’t see your face every time I closed my eyes. I thought when I left you behind, I’d sentenced you to death because those creatures made me promise I wouldn’t tell anyone about the island. Which meant I couldn’t send help for you. Which meant I couldn’t live with myself.”

  Roen glared at her for a moment and then stood an
d walked over to the kitchen where he’d left the open bottle of wine on the counter.

  He poured a generous glass, gulped it down, and then shot her a look. “All you needed to do was to live and move the fuck on, woman.”

  He just doesn’t get it. “That’s the point. I couldn’t!” she yelled. “I can’t!”

  Roen planted both arms on the counter and dropped his head. “I’m a fucking bastard who’s never cared about anyone aside from Lyle and my mother. I use people, step on them, exploit their weaknesses for my own gain. I’ve made billions destroying other people’s companies, and I never gave a damn. I still don’t. And when it comes to women, I’ve fucked hundreds and don’t remember their names. Not because I can’t, but because I couldn’t give a shit about any of them.”

  “What’s your goddamned point, Roen? That I’m stupid for caring about you?”

  “Yes.”

  She stood and walked over to the granite kitchen island, stopping directly across from him and dipping her head, hoping he’d look up and see the sincerity in her eyes.

  “I think you’ve got it backwards,” she said calmly. “I’m not stupid. I’m the only one who’s ever been brave enough to care about you.” No bones about it, Roen was intimidating as hell, and his icy exterior sent a clear message: don’t be foolish enough to care about me, because I won’t care back. Which is why Liv could only assume that the women he’d slept with probably never gave a crap about him—not the real him, anyway. How could they? Why would they? Roen had a reputation, and anyone who picked up a tabloid knew it. But the truth was, Roen was the kind of guy who pushed people away, so all they saw was some hot, wealthy guy they could bolster their own egos with. They’d fucked Roen Doran—something to tell their friends, perhaps. Something to elevate their own statuses. At the end of the day, they’d be foolish to expect anything else out of the relationship. Unless they were willing to chisel through all those layers of ice and take the time to really see him for who he was. Strong. Defiant. Beautiful.

  “Roen, you see yourself as the aggressor, but those women used you, too. They fucked you and let you leave. I’m guessing not one of them lifted a finger to keep you, call you, or learn a thing about you because you were nothing more than a conquest.”

  With a rage-red face, Roen shot her an embittered look, but didn’t speak.

  “If you want to get angry, then go ahead,” she said. “But don’t ever call me stupid for wanting you. You put your life on the line and risked everything to save me—a stranger. And when someone like me—who knows damned well they’re worth something, with a pretty damned high IQ, I’d like to add—says they can’t forget someone like you, take that as a fucking compliment.”

  Roen stared for several long moments. “She wants me to kill you, Liv,” he blurted out.

  Liv inhaled deeply. “You’re going to kill me?”

  Okay. Maybe I am stupid.

  “No. She wants me to kill you, and I refused. I told her that if she lays a finger on you, it’s over. I won’t help her. I’ll let them come for her.”

  “Who? Who will come for her?”

  “She thinks…” He ran his hands through his thick brown hair. “She thinks the landlovers are coming soon. She says she’s watched the event in her dreams. They come. They start stealing her water.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “The water she produces keeps her alive, too. And just like when you give blood, you can only donate so much at once. Otherwise you’ll die. But what she can spare, she gives to the ocean and to us.”

  “So she thinks that people are coming to take it all away?”

  “Yes. She says the end is near. First they find her, then they drain her dry, and she dies. The rest of the world is gone shortly after.”

  If that were true, then the island couldn’t afford to lose anyone—at least, she’d see it that way. I can’t believe I’m talking about the island like she’s alive.

  “So what happens if you don’t…?” Liv really didn’t want to say the words “kill me.”

  “I honestly don’t know at this point, but I do know I can’t risk seeing you again. Maybe if she knows you’re out of my life, she’ll leave you alone. But you can’t tell anyone else about her or me, Liv. Not anyone.”

  “I wouldn’t tell—”

  Roen gave her a sharp look.

  “Okay. I told my psychiatrist, but that was different. I was trying to survive, trying to figure out how the hell I could live without…” Her voice trailed off. “You.”

  There was a long moment of silence before Roen spoke. “It can’t happen. You deserve to live a real life, not some distorted version of love like my mother and father had.”

  She still didn’t know the whole story of what his father had done, but this wasn’t the time to go there. She did know, however, that he’d caused Roen a great amount of pain. “You wouldn’t hurt me, Roen. You’re not your father.”

  “No, I’m not. Because I will do what’s right for you,” he said.

  “Meaning this is goodbye.” He wanted her far away from him and that island.

  “Yes,” he replied curtly.

  Liv held back her tears. She didn’t want to accept any of this. Most of all, she didn’t want to let him go. She’d waited her entire life to meet a man like him, and she knew she never would again. There was only one Roen Doran, and he’d somehow become a part of her.

  “What if you’re successful?” she asked. “What if you convince the island she’s safe? Then will you leave?”

  He shook his head no. “A group of us will need to remain with her always. But hopefully it won’t be many and we’ll all be there of our own free will.”

  She couldn’t accept this, but arguing with the man wasn’t going to change his mind. And frankly, she was too heartbroken to fight anymore. She just wanted to leave because looking at him hurt too much.

  “Roen, just promise you’ll help those women and stop bringing new ones to the island.”

  “I can’t promise that, Liv. I’ve already made a deal with the island. For you.”

  “Then break your promise,” Liv argued. “I don’t want to live if it means a bunch of women are…are…” She didn’t even know what to call it.

  “Another Collection was inevitable either way. Things have been done a certain way for a very long time and change doesn’t happen overnight. But I promise no one will come to that island who doesn’t want to be there.”

  Liv knew that was only half of the story. Because while those men might convince a woman to go to the island of her own free will, they were in the dark about what happened next. “You trick them, Roen.”

  “Until my people are free from this nightmare and the island is safe from landlovers, I’m not in a position to change things.” Roen stared with his piercing green eyes.

  “But…” Liv abandoned her thought. It didn’t matter if she believed his entire story; he believed it. And he believed he was keeping her safe along with everyone else.

  Maybe he is. And maybe it’s not your battle. That’s what she told herself, but really, her heart was slowly cracking, and she didn’t want him to see it happen.

  “Well”—Liv swallowed her sadness—“I guess this is goodbye.” She glanced across the kitchen island at Roen once again, but his expression gave nothing away.

  Roen cleared his throat. “I believe it is. Edward will see you back to the plane and home. By morning, the media will be off your back, as I plan to hold a press conference shortly. Goodbye, Liv.”

  Liv gave a quick nod and started walking to the door. Don’t turn around. Don’t look at him. Just leave. Just leave. Just go outside, and you’ll be okay.

  “Liv.” Roen was right behind her when she reached for the door, his deep voice filled with irritation or anger or…something. “I’m not happy about any of this either. I don’t think I ever will be after meeting you and knowing you won’t be in my life.”

  Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around.

&n
bsp; Liv reached for the door handle. “Thanks for everything, Roen.”

  She suddenly felt Roen’s strong hands on her shoulders. Then his lips on the side of her neck and the warmth of his chest pressing against her back. His touch made her whole body ache and weep. It sucked to feel something so wonderful, knowing it wasn’t meant to be and that she’d never have it again.

  Roen’s hands slid down to her waist, and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. “Thank you, Liv,” he whispered. “Thank you for being the only woman ever brave enough to love me.”

  The tears began welling in her eyes, and her heart caved in. If she didn’t go now, she’d end up doing something she regretted. Like begging him to stay with her. He’d only say no and make this even more painful.

  She held her breath tightly, attempting to cling to her sanity. Then he released his grip and reached around her to open the door. Avoiding eye contact, she stepped out into the hallway, feeling like her body was made from eggshells in the process of cracking into a million tiny pieces. One tap and she’d disintegrate into nothing.

  She glanced over her shoulder at Roen standing in the doorway, and when she saw the pained look in his eyes, it undid her. She rushed toward him and their mouths collided. His sensual lips and silky tongue moved against hers, and his kiss felt like the only thing in her life that had ever truly made sense. And the heat of his sweet breath mixing with hers, his scent filling her lungs, was like a drug made from concentrated sin.

  He turned their bodies, putting her back against the wall. With his large size and height she felt completely shielded from the world around them, it was just him and her and their mouths moving together, their tongues sliding in a desperate frenzy.

  Then his body began buzzing with that strange energy, and he leaned into her, his hands feverishly moving over her breasts and down to cup her ass.

  “God, I want you, Liv.” He returned to kissing her for a moment. “I can’t get the taste of you out of my mind.”

  She felt the same way.

  Roen ground against her; meanwhile her hands reached around him, seeking out his hard ass, wanting to feel the muscles flex beneath her palms. In her mind, she saw the two of them naked, their bodies moving together in desperate need, while Roen pumped his hard cock inside her. It was the same erotic image she’d seen night after night since she’d left the island. And if this was the end of the road for them, then she wanted to know what it was like just once. She wanted to feel him over her, in her, holding her down as he thrust his thick, long shaft as deeply as it could go. More than that, however, she just wanted more time to know every piece of him—even the parts she couldn’t see inside his heart and soul.