On the Edge

by Parker Hudson

  Kristen's parents still lived in a small town in rural Texas. They had worked and saved all they had to send Kristen to the university. When she was little, they took her to Sunday school and to the occasional revival that came through town in the springtime. Her mother still prayed, every day, for Kristen's salvation. Her parents would have been saddened, but probably not shocked, to learn that in her deliberations about whether to sleep with Richard or Peter, the thought never even crossed Kristen's mind that sleeping with either man was wrong. So complete was her “education,” that her only concern was about the timing.

  * * *

  “See you in the morning,” Janet thought Tommy said, as he headed out the back door for his bike, to spend the night at Brent's. She did hear when he said, “I'll be home about 9:30.”

  As Janet told him goodbye, Susan came downstairs with a small overnight bag, to walk over to Amy's house. “Is Dad around?” she asked.

  “He's in the bathroom shaving,” Janet replied, getting some ice water from the refrigerator. “We're leaving in about thirty minutes for the Merediths.”

  “Mom,” Susan asked, “do you think what Dad was talking about this afternoon is real? I mean, can someone really change like that?”

  Janet smiled. “I've been asking myself those same questions since lunch on Thursday, when he first told me. I have no idea. I've obviously never experienced what your father seems to have experienced. It's only been two days, so we'll just have to see. But I can tell you that they've been two pretty nice days, and he really does seem to be different.”

  Susan was intrigued. “That's wild. It'll be interesting to see what happens next!”

  “Yes, I guess so. Have a good time tonight at the Bryants’, and we'll see you in the morning.”

  Bob Meredith greeted Richard and Janet at the front door. They walked through to the kitchen, where Anne was cutting the last ingredients for their salad. They exchanged greetings, and Bob invited the Sullivans outside to their back patio, where they found comfortable outdoor chairs and a table set with four places.

  The Merediths were a few years older than the Sullivans, but their two boys seemed to keep them young. Janet and Anne had known each other from school functions. Tall and obviously intelligent, Anne had a streak of gray in her hair, which simply made her look distinguished, in an unassuming way. Janet had always found her to be very “down to earth,” not trying to impress anyone with wealth or status. She usually had a smile and a helpful suggestion when a school project hit a problem.

  “Where are the kids tonight?” Janet asked.

  “We've already fed the two boys a couple of hamburgers, and they're watching TV upstairs. Bobbie is going out with Thomas. I think they're going to the ballgame.”

  Anne appeared in the door with a tray and a pitcher of iced tea. Bobbie answered the door when Thomas arrived, and the two of them said hello to the adults, then left for the game. The two couples sat down in the cool spring evening and talked about their daughters, the boys whom their daughters had been dating recently, school, work, the baseball standings, and other matters. Bob went inside, after starting the gas grill, and returned with a platter.

  “I hope you don't mind swordfish steaks. Anne and I really like them, especially on the grill.”

  “That's great,” Richard volunteered. He smiled and thought to himself about another patio cook-out ten years earlier with Scott Peterson, who had also grilled swordfish. Richard made a mental note. “I need to call Scott. He won't believe what's happened.”

  The dinner was delicious, and after all the dishes were cleared away and the two young boys put to bed, the Merediths and Sullivans returned to their comfortable chairs to finish their coffee.

  Bob took a sip to test the temperature, cradled his cup in his lap, and said, “We're sure glad to have you over tonight. We've been meaning to get together for a long time, and it's just great that the prayer breakfast gave us the opportunity. Richard, if you don't mind—and you don't mind either, Janet—would you tell Anne about what happened to you after the breakfast?”

  Richard looked at Janet, who smiled and nodded. So Richard again told about his experience in Court's office, feeling the presence of God come into his life. He couldn't help but smile as he told the Merediths all that had happened since, including the family discussion at lunch that day. “I just find that I want to know more about God. His power is now so real to me—I've seen it in so many other good people. I'm like a grown child who suddenly wants to find out more about his heavenly Father, whom he hasn't known for forty years!”

  Janet had listened again and noted the obvious joy in the eyes of both Bob and Anne as he spoke—Anne even nodded knowingly when Richard explained a new feeling. Janet was delighted for Richard, but she felt a little left out, and she wanted to know more.

  “Bob—or Anne—” Janet said, resting her coffee cup on the arm of her chair, “Susan, Tommy, and I have all been asking what exactly happened to Richard the other morning and what happens next?”

  The Merediths looked at each other—Anne nodded to Bob. He leaned forward a bit and tried to speak casually, even though the subject was the most important one on earth.

  “Janet, the Bible says that Jesus is the Son of God and that He died to take on the sins of the whole world, so that those who believe in Him will not spend eternity in hell, but instead have everlasting life in heaven with God. It also says, which is implied by what I just paraphrased, that Jesus came to divide. Some will believe and be saved. Others will not, but will instead receive what we all deserve—God's judgment.

  “Thursday morning, Richard chose God. He asked God to forgive him for all the sins he has committed. And he acknowledged that he wanted to be born again by an indwelling of the Holy Spirit, accepting Jesus as both his savior and the Lord of his life. When a religious leader asked Jesus point blank what someone must do to be saved, Jesus answered that he must be born again. In other words, he must put off his old self and be born anew through the power of the Holy Spirit. Forty days after Jesus returned to heaven, the Holy Spirit came to earth, which we call Pentecost, and indwelt first the twelve apostles. Those largely uneducated men were endowed with so much power that they collectively turned the world upside down. Individually they were able to accept death by martyrdom, rather than renounce whom and what they had experienced first hand.

  “That same Holy Spirit has been indwelling believers ever since, empowering them to overcome temptations and habits and lifestyles and ways of living that have kept them in bondage to the prince of the world, the devil, who hates every one of us, and who only wants ruin and alienation from God for us.

  “Well, after the prayer breakfast, Richard chose to cast off the devil and his deceptions and to instead enter into a relationship with God. The Holy Spirit now lives in your husband, Janet, and through God's grace alone, he will never be the same. You, and everyone else, can call upon that same power, if you do what Richard did—what Anne and I did. Which is basically to give up trying to run your own life, ask Jesus for His mercy, and let God take over. It's a wonderful, joyful feeling, being in a relationship that you simply know is right, because the Father who made you is in control.”

  There was silence as Janet considered what Bob had said. Finally she spoke. “To quote Tommy,” Janet smiled, “Wow! That's pretty radical.”

  “Yes and no,” Bob replied. “One of the problems some people have, frankly, is that on one level, the level most people first really experience it, like Richard has, it's not ‘radical’ or complex at all. It's very simple. There's God and Satan—good and evil—submission and rebellion. All you have to do is choose. In today's complex world, people apparently want complex answers. This one is so simple, but so powerful. People tend to pass it by, missing the miracle of what can happen in their lives, right here, right now.”

  “Well, while I think about that, what's going to happen next to Richard?” Janet asked.

  “Let me take that one,” Anne answered, shiftin
g in her chair, and pausing for a moment.

  “Richard's spiritual position is now with God, but his human situation is still as it was.” Turning to Richard for a moment and smiling, Anne continued, “Like any new believer, Richard has to deal with the life he made for himself without God, now that God has found him. While he has God's peace and joy burning in him, like a small candle, the next few months, or even years, could actually be more difficult, in a human sense, than they would have been otherwise.

  “You see, God doesn't promise us an end to all problems. He promises us eternity with Him, and His help in dealing with those problems. So Richard is now beginning what some call his ‘Christian walk.’ It means that with his salvation now assured, he will try every day to learn more about God and to pattern his life more on God's will.”

  “Beginning a relationship with the Lord,” Richard interjected.

  “Exactly,” Anne responded. “Imagine, Janet, that Richard is like a tall glass of muddy, dirty water. And each day he can, through God's grace, add one or more drops of clean, clear water in the glass so that a little bit of the muddy water is pushed out. The Bible reading and the prayers and the going to church and the learning from other believers and the making right choices are all those clean, clear drops of spiritual water. And we pray that as time goes by Richard will have less and less of the old self—the muddy water—in him, and more and more of God's will—the healthy clean water. That may sound overly simplistic, but believe me, it really is like what happens to us.”

  “I can see why that makes sense,” Janet said. “But all of you, Richard included, must realize that I haven't experienced exactly what you have experienced. I'm seeing it as an outsider. I must admit what I've seen in the last two and a half days in Richard tends to support what you're saying. There does seem to be a real change in him. And I recognize the strength in the two of you—and the same strength in Bobbie, your daughter. Maybe someday I'll feel the same. But, for now, I feel sort of like a spectator. Tell me, what do you think has changed in your marriage because of your faith?”

  “First, let me assure you, Janet,” Anne said, smiling at her, “that the only thing we believers want is for others to experience the same power of God in their lives. We are delighted for you to be a ‘spectator.’ In fact, it's a great blessing for your family that Richard now has the Holy Spirit living inside him. You can view that power first hand, every day. But, similarly, don't push your expectations too high. Like you, Richard is also new at this. And he is still a glass filled to the top with a lot of muddy water. Satan is still going to be gunning for him, because he is a new believer, a father, and a business leader. In fact, you both can expect Satan's attacks to step up against all of you. Richard needs your prayers and your support, just as you need his. So help him all that you can.

  “Now to answer your question about our marriage. I was not a believer when we were married. I accepted the Lord about five years later. I can only speculate from what I was feeling beforehand and from what has happened to so many of our friends, that we would not be married today unless we shared our faith.

  “We were drifting apart. It was nothing terribly dramatic. Neither of us was having an affair or anything, but—and this is what so many of my friends have told me—we were just becoming bored with each other. I have to laugh, thinking about it, as a committed Christian. But that was certainly the case then.”

  Anne turned to Bob, reached out for his hand, and smiled. “When we think about all that we now share because our relationship is based on our common faith and not just on human attraction, which ultimately always will fade, we have to laugh. Laugh, in a sense, and mostly thank God. Can you imagine breaking up a marriage because of boredom? Yet that seems to be what gets most of our nonbelieving friends. How can people not believe in the devil, if they reach the conclusion that they must break up their marriage because they are bored?!?”

  Richard shifted in his seat, thinking about Kristen and his own conviction over the past several months that his marriage was, in fact, boring. He still did not know how he was going to end his relationship with Kristen, but he knew that he had to do so.

  Their conversation continued for more than an hour, sometimes touching on Richard's new belief, sometimes simply recounting their mutual experiences, as the two couples came to know each other better. Before any of them could have imagined, it was after eleven, and the Sullivans rose and thanked the Merediths for a most enjoyable evening.

  “Thank you again for inviting me to the prayer breakfast,” Richard said, shaking Bob's hand, “and for all that you and so many people did to help me feel God's presence in such a special way.”

  “I guess we'll see you in the morning,” Janet said. “Am I right that Sunday school starts at 10:00, with the service at 11:15?”

  “That's it,” responded Bob. “You know where Morningside is? We'll meet you outside the main entrance a little before 10:00. OK?”

  “We're looking forward to it,” said Richard, as he and Janet said a final goodbye and walked to their car.

  That same evening, while Richard and Janet missed the symphony and instead went to the Merediths’ home, their son Tommy and Brent drove with Zane, Brent's older brother, to pick up Roger and the videos and to have a quick dinner at the food court in the mall. As soon as the boys returned to the Holcombes’ empty home after dinner, they headed straight for the basement and the VCR. Just then the doorbell rang, and Roger returned upstairs to welcome two more of his friends, whom he and Zane had invited to the showing. Tommy only vaguely knew these older boys, Derrick and Paul. He had always seen them together, kind of like himself and Brent. Derrick had two small earrings in one ear, and Paul wore clothes that looked like the hippie pictures from his father's college. “I can't wait to see these flicks,” announced Derrick, as they positioned themselves in front of the basement television.

  After dinner at the Bryants’ home, Amy told her parents that she and Susan were going to get some frozen yogurt. Once they were beyond Devon Drive, Amy turned in the opposite direction and headed east across town. “Hey, where are we going?” asked Susan.

  “We'll get some yogurt in a little while,” answered Amy. “But first I want to buy one of those pregnancy tests, and I don't want to go to a drugstore where we might be recognized. I thought it might be good to have you with me tomorrow morning in case it turns out to be positive.”

  The girls drove on in silence for several minutes, each considering the gravity of Amy's possible situation. Then Susan broke the silence and described their family meeting at lunch and the apparent transformation of her father.

  Amy was startled. Her father, like Susan's, hardly ever talked about God or religion, except in a slightly derogatory manner. “Do you think he means it?” asked Amy.

  “I really do, at least for now,” answered Susan. “The question is, of course, will it last? But as an immediate result, we're all going to church with Bobbie and her family in the morning. Will you come with us?”

  “Go to church?” Amy asked. “What time?”

  “We have to leave in time to be there a little before 10:00,” Susan answered.

  “Well, if the pregnancy test should prove positive, I guess I'll need all the help I can get!” Amy said fatalistically. “I'm not saying yes or no now. We'll see in the morning.” And she drove on toward the drugstore.

  When Kristen and Peter entered the symphony hall, they took no notice of the young assistant from Richard's law firm and his girlfriend who were sitting in the seats a couple of rows behind them. They enjoyed the symphony immensely and, at Peter's suggestion, they returned to the bar in his hotel for a late-night drink.

  Kristen was stunning in a low-cut turquoise dress, with her auburn hair up tight on top of her head. Peter, like most of the men near them, could not take his eyes off her. And she knew it.

  They sat together in a booth in the quiet bar at the Carlton Hotel, sipping brandy and laughing over their old times at the university together
. Peter occasionally ran his finger up and down Kristen's right forearm as they spoke, and she seemed quite happy with his touch.

  After their second brandy, Peter said, “I have one of those personal minibars in my room, and we could continue this conversation in much more comfortable surroundings up there.” He looked at her with a mixture of seriousness in his eyes and a smile on his face.

  Kristen turned her head, looked in his eyes, read his face, and replied, “That does sound much more interesting than this bar. Let's go,” she smiled.

  Fifteen minutes later, the minibar door in his room never opened, her turquoise dress thrown haphazardly on a chair, and her hair no longer piled on her head, Kristen and Peter relived the past and explored the present on the king-size bed in his hotel room.

  “You're more lovely than I even remember,” Peter whispered in her ear as they hugged for the first time again without their clothes, and were egged on by the two demons who had followed them up from the bar. “How can a woman as beautiful as you not be living with someone in this town?”

  The thought stunned Kristen, and she tensed for a moment. “Maybe there is someone, Peter,” she smiled at him in the dim light from the bathroom. “Maybe I do. But tonight is just for us, so let's not think about anyone else.”

  And, happy to be with Peter, she never thought about Richard again that night, as Peter quickly reminded her of why she had so much enjoyed their earlier affair.

  Late that night, as Tommy climbed into the top bunk in Brent's bedroom, there was a battle of images fighting for prominence in his head. The tapes of the last several hours and his new involvement with the older boys made up one set of powerful visual impressions. His father's confession of faith and admission of failure, sitting at lunch that same afternoon, made up the other set.