On the Edge

by Parker Hudson

  Janet, who was a bit tired, but more than happy to describe the events, was just getting into the story when Amy and Susan walked in from the porch and sat down in two chairs across from their mothers. They listened to Janet's story as well. Susan was very interested to hear her mother's testimony about praying to receive the Lord into her life that morning. It interested her to know that both of her parents not only now believed in God, but also expressed their faith to others.

  When Janet finished and Nancy had asked a few questions, Susan and Amy looked at each other, Susan nodded, and Amy said to her mother, “Mom, I know Mrs. Sullivan has been through a lot. But I've got to tell you something, and it's just as good that Susan and her mother are here.”

  Nancy Bryant suddenly felt she was about to find out what had been bothering Amy for the last few weeks. She leaned forward on the sofa, looked at Amy, and said, “What is it, dear?”

  “Well, Susan and I haven't been able to think of any easy way to say this, so I'll just say it. I'm pregnant. A little over a month…”

  As Amy continued, her mother brought her hands to her mouth and exclaimed quietly, “Oh, God.” Janet rocked back in her seat, crossed her legs, and looked back and forth between Susan and Amy.

  “…and yesterday morning I went to an abortion clinic with Susan to get rid of the baby, but then I couldn't do it. Susan says that her dad knows attorneys who can arrange for adoptions and even arrange to have the new parents pay for all of the medical costs…”

  Now it was Janet's turn to bring her hands to her cheeks as she realized that her daughter had been to an abortion clinic the previous morning. And she suddenly understood all of Susan's recent questions about abortion. Good grief y she thought, what have our daughters been through by themselves in the past few weeks?

  “…and so I know I've made a mess of all this, and I'm to blame, but I couldn't kill the baby growing inside me. And after being so incredibly irresponsible to get this way, I've tried my best to be responsible and to do only the right things.” Finally the tears started to fill her eyes. “But I hope you and Dad can still love me, even though I've done this terrible and stupid thing. I'm just so very, very, very sorry.”

  During the few minutes while Amy had been talking, her mother's emotions had changed from shock to disappointment to anger to sympathy to tenderness. As Amy sat crying quietly, Nancy stood up, walked over to her, and stretched out her hands. Amy stood up, a questioning look on her face. Nancy took her and held her, and Amy cried like a little girl on her mother's shoulder.

  Janet, seeing that Susan was also in pain, went over to her daughter, and they also hugged, while Amy cried.

  “Well, I knew something was bothering you,” Nancy said, stroking Amy's hair. “Now I know what it is. I know it took great courage, first to go to the abortion clinic and then to leave it. I agree with you that you've been pretty stupid, but I also think you've been very brave. I certainly don't know all the answers now, but we'll do our best to work through them as a family.”

  The four women sat down again and spent the next thirty minutes talking through the details and the options as Amy and Susan understood them. Then Nancy said, “Well, obviously we have to get your father involved. And apparently perhaps Mr. Sullivan as well,” Nancy said, turning to Janet. “I guess we need to tell them today. Amy, do you have any ideas about how to do that?”

  “I hoped you would,” Amy said, looking at her mother.

  “Well, I guess the direct method like you used with us is the best way. The men should be coming back from the tennis court any minute, and we'll just have to tell them.”

  “Is there any way we can keep Tommy out of it, at least for now?” Amy asked.

  “Yes,” said Janet. “Susan, why don't you go change into your tennis gear and challenge Tommy to a singles match? He's been wanting to play for days. So keep him on the court, and tell the men that we asked for them to come back.”

  Susan looked at Amy and asked, “Do you need me here?”

  “I'd certainly like for you to be here, but if Mom will help, that'll be OK. And you're probably the only one who can keep Tommy on the tennis court.”

  So Susan agreed with their plan and went to change her clothes.

  When the two men returned from tennis, their wives had a pitcher of iced tea and glasses waiting for them on the porch. Nancy met Tom at the door and said, “Before you and Richard take your showers, come sit out in the fresh air on the porch.”

  As the four adults were putting sugar and lemon in their tea, Amy came out and took a seat with them. Janet had to admire her courage and her strength. She silently said a prayer for the Bryant family as the adults sat down. Amy said, “Dad, there's something I have to tell you, and I think this is about the best time and place to do it.”

  As she repeated virtually the same words she had spoken to the women a little over an hour before, her father frowned at first, then never changed from what appeared to be a completely normal expression while Amy continued. Occasionally he glanced at the other adults. It appeared to him that Richard was hearing this news for the first time as well, but he quickly realized that Nancy and Janet already knew the whole story.

  When Amy finished, this time without crying, only her countenance indicating how sorry she was, Tom Bryant leaned forward in his chair, looked sternly at Amy, and said, “Amy, I love you, and I can't imagine what you have been through in the past several weeks. I wish you weren't pregnant, and I wish that whatever I could have done to prevent you from having sex with that college boy, I had done it. And I can't believe you could have almost had an abortion while we thought you were safely at school. But we don't have to go into those things now.” Amy held her breath as he continued. So did her mother.

  “I wish we could turn the clock back and not have to go through this, but we can't. I certainly can't condemn you for something which, but for the grace of God, could have easily have happened to me at your age. Obviously we'll stick by you, and support you, and help you in every way that we can. It's not going to be very easy, but you've already shown what you're made of by deciding at the last minute not to have the abortion. If your mother and I were a little younger, we would think about raising the child ourselves. But I guess that may not be possible. Anyway, I'll be interested in talking to you, Richard, about this adoption situation—with Amy of course—and we'll find out all the details. Parts of the coming months may be a mess, but parts of them should bring us some joy. So we'll just do our best and get through it.”

  Amy, who had assumed that her father would be very angry and would lecture her, was prepared to take his reprimand. She could not believe what he had just said. Nancy stood up and went over to Amy and put her arm around her. Looking at her husband, she said, “Thank you, Tom.”

  Richard said, “I'll check with Kathy Thomas on Monday about the details of the adoption process, including the latest prospects. I may even have a particular couple in mind myself. I believe this will all work out. I assume that Susan has known about this for some time, given her recent questions on abortion. And I assume that Janet just heard about it a little while ago. I just want you to know, Amy, that all of the Sullivans will support you completely in any way we can.”

  Amy, looking at the floor of the porch, managed to say, “Thank you, Dad. And thank you, Mr. Sullivan. Mr. Sullivan, I know this may sound strange coming from me—and, Dad, you may not understand it, but, Mr. Sullivan, would you pray for us?”

  “Of course, Amy. In fact, even though it may seem a little awkward at first, let's join together and hold hands.”

  All five of them stood on the porch. A bit self-consciously, they joined hands. But quickly the self-consciousness faded as they bowed their heads and Richard began to pray. “Dear heavenly Father, we turn to You at this difficult time for Amy and her family. We first thank You for Amy's courage in saving the life of her baby yesterday. We ask Your blessing and guidance for her and for her parents as they work through what we all know may be
difficult times in the coming months. But we know that if we put our trust in You, You can lead us through any problem, any period that seems difficult to us, because nothing is difficult for You.

  “Dear Lord, I ask a special blessing on Tom and Nancy this afternoon, that they will continue to open their hearts to Amy's needs as they grow more complex in the coming months. And I ask You to give all of us the wisdom to know Your will concerning the adoption of this child. We know You already have the perfect parents and the perfect home picked out for him or her, and we ask You to guide us to that family. Bless us and keep us, and fill us with your Holy Spirit as we consider what must be done. In Jesus’ name.”

  “And dear heavenly Father,” added Janet, “we particularly thank You for Tom and Richard, that they are men of understanding, humility, and strength. Finally, dear Lord, we also ask Your blessings on the family of Officer Talmadge, and on Officer Higgins and Tom Spence, and on their families, that You will heal their wounds and give peace to their families. In Jesus’ name.”

  Richard waited for a moment, as they continued to bow their heads, and Amy finally prayed, “Thank You God for my parents and for the Sullivans and for my friends, Susan and Bobbie. Thank You for leading me in the right way yesterday, with their help. God, I know I've…uh…made a mess of this, but I ask that this child will be born healthy and that he or she will be a gift to some wonderful couple.” Amy started to choke up, and the others found it hard to fight back their tears. “And, Lord, please forgive me and make it possible, when this is all over, for me to lead a normal life and find a husband who loves me and to have children of my own.” At this point she began to sob and released her mother's hand so that she could wipe her eyes.

  Richard gave a concluding prayer. “And now, Lord, bless us and keep us as we seek Your will in all that we do. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

  This time it was her father who hugged Amy to him as she cried. The other adults moved off and left the two of them on the porch together.

  Late that evening, the two girls sat up in their night clothes and talked in their bedroom for almost an hour about the events of the past few weeks and, particularly, of the past two days. Amy finally turned out the light on the table between their beds. Looking out through the large sliding glass door to the private deck on their side of the house, she could hardly tell where the lights on the mountains stopped and the stars began on that clear and moonless night.

  “Come look at this, Susan,” Amy said, as she rose from her bed and slid open the door. In the darkness the two girls walked out on the deck, immediately surrounded by more stars than they could ever see in the city.

  “To think that God made all of those millions of stars, and He made the little baby inside me! Can you imagine Him? And I wonder what He has in store for the person who is growing inside me…?”

  “It's incredible,” Susan agreed. They were quiet together for several minutes.

  “I've been so lucky to have you and Bobbie.” Amy finally broke the silence. “And your father has really helped. He seems so different from how he used to be. What do you think happened to him?”

  “He says he asked God to forgive him for all the things he had ever done wrong, and he asked Jesus to come into his life and to take it over. I think it really happened, Amy.”

  “Me, too…Do you think that teenagers can ask for the same thing?”

  “I would think so…Sure.”

  “Well, I know I did the wrong thing by having sex with Billy, and I've hurt my parents, no matter what they say. And I can't have this baby and figure out the adoption and then start over again, all on my own. I need God, as well as my parents. I need His help.”

  “My Dad calls it a relationship with God. I think that's what we need. And I feel it, too, looking at all the mess in the world today,” Susan said.

  There was another silence. Amy asked, “Do you think you and I could pray for God to forgive me and to help us? Do you know what to say to ask God for what your dad has found?”

  “Not exactly, but we need Him so badly, I think He'll hear us.” The two girls knelt on the deck in the starlight. Susan began their prayer.

  “Dear God, Amy and I come to You tonight and ask for Your help. First, please forgive both of us for things we've done wrong. Please come and be with us. Please even live within us. My father says that Your Son Jesus died so that those who believe in Him can go to heaven and be with you forever. Glenn has also told us about Him, how He loves people, even when they do bad things, if they are really sorry for what they've done. And that He can help us through difficult times. Please, God, Amy and I ask you to forgive us for all the things that we've done wrong…”

  Amy added, “Please, God…”

  “…and we thank You for all You've done for us through Your Son. We don't know exactly what to say, but we want to give ourselves and Amy's baby to You tonight, Lord. We can't make it through the next months unless You help us. Please, God, protect us and be with us. And guide us in all that we do. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

  The physical darkness did not register it, but the spiritual darkness retreated two more steps that instant, as the blinding white Light of the Holy Spirit descended onto the two teenage girls as they knelt in prayer, touching each of them with His power and branding them as His own forever. Each girl felt a sudden chill as the Spirit moved through her. They looked up simultaneously, feeling the sensation of a cool breeze together.

  “There's no wind tonight.” Amy smiled at Susan. She took Susan's hand and said, “I want to pray some more for my baby and my parents. Do you mind? You can stay or go back to bed. And thank you again.”

  “I'll stay,” Susan smiled. “And, as crazy as this sounds, let's also pray that someday we each find a husband like Glenn, or maybe even like my dad. Someone with real faith, in a world which is so very difficult.”

  SUNDAY, MAY 28 – Sunday at the Bryants’ was a lot more normal than Saturday. The adults and the two girls decided not to let Tommy in on Amy's condition for a bit longer. At Sunday lunch they celebrated Susan's seventeenth birthday a few days early, and Janet found herself praying that God would help her daughter escape the problems that Amy had found during her seventeenth year.

  Driving home late that afternoon, Richard and Janet finally had a chance to discuss their “911 Live” experience.

  “Can you imagine having what we saw Friday night pumped nonstop and without editing into homes in America?,” Janet asked.

  Richard took his eyes from the wheel for a second to look at her and say, “No, I can't.”

  “Well, hopefully after what Bob Grissom went through in the back of that police car and the awful consequences of the whole thing, including the death, so far, of at least one fine police officer, Network will reconsider the whole project.”

  “I certainly hope so,” Richard agreed. “But knowing how big corporations sometimes work, I wouldn't necessarily count on it.”

  “Then I'll have to talk to Bill Shaw about not showing it here, or changing it somehow. Or putting it on very late at night. I don't know, Richard. I can't believe God wants us to see a steady diet of actual death and violence. Surely a show like that will make us almost uncaring when we're confronted by the same problems in our own lives. It makes death and destruction the norm.”

  “Well, do what you can at the station. I'm not an expert in this area of the law, Janet, as you know, and I'm not necessarily advocating or committing to anything. But I have to believe that what we saw Friday night can be challenged in court on all sorts of statutes: morality, maybe even pornography. If all else fails, maybe we can talk to the group of which Tom Spence was—I mean is—a member, about filing some sort of legal action. But I hate to do that, because it'll bring all the ‘free speech’ folks out of the woodwork, raining their wrath down upon us.”

  Janet, very pleased and still slightly amazed to find Richard supportive of anything she did, particularly associated with her work, smiled at him from the passenger seat and sa
id, “If it comes to that, Richard, I'm sure that you, with God's help, can do it.”

  That evening, Richard and Janet dropped their children at home on the way in from the mountains and then drove to the hospital. Sandy and Florence were there, sitting in the waiting room outside the ICU. Janet had called on Saturday afternoon and received a “no change” report from Sandy. Now the two smiling wives greeted them.

  “The doctors think my husband is going to make it,” Florence said, taking Janet's hand.

  “And Tom is much better, though he's not out of the woods yet and may have to have another operation tomorrow or Tuesday,” Sandy added. “The team is continuing to pray in the chapel, and we know the Lord has answered all of these prayers. I think, in fact, that many families on the police force and many churches are praying as well. So we're very much encouraged.”

  “Is there a slot for us in the prayer vigil?” Janet asked.

  “I'm pretty sure there is,” answered Sandy. “Connie is in charge, and I think there's a schedule outside the chapel. I'm sure they would very much appreciate your joining them.”

  “Thanks, Sandy. We'll check on the way out. We've got to go now because we've been away all weekend, as you know. But we'll be praying for both Tom and Doug, and we're so pleased to hear about their progress.”

  As Kristen left San Francisco that night on the late flight home, she reflected on her wonderful weekend with Peter. They had been sailing in the Bay, shopping, dining in nice restaurants, and enjoying each other in his loft apartment.

  Now a question came to her mind: What next? He insisted that he had to stay in San Francisco, and she felt that she must not leave the base of real estate contacts and referrals she had developed over the years. It would be hard to build a lasting relationship from so far away, and if neither of them would move, their long-term prospects were dim. But maybe there was a solution in the future, she told herself, as she tried to fall asleep on the plane.