A Beautiful Disaster

by Marguerite Labbe

  “He complains more than he means it,” Evelyn said with a chuckle. Then her eyes softened, and she patted his cheek. “And you always have us and a home here. Don’t forget we have your backs too.”

  “As if you’d ever let us forget.” Brenden laid his cheek against her hair. “I love you, Mama E.” She was a constant reminder that whatever the heartbreaks of his past, he’d been lucky enough to have two amazing women mother him and one who was still with him.

  She caught him in a fierce hug. “I love you too, Brainy Bren.”

  Brenden chuckled at the reminder of the nickname Dakota had bestowed upon him to get under his skin, but she had turned it into a badge of honor. “Seriously, we’ll be okay, though we’ll get even more wired up in the next couple of months. The countdown to the con has begun. September will be here before we have a chance to catch our breaths. So if you don’t hear from us for weeks at a time, don’t freak out. We’re just crazy busy. And when it’s all over, I’m taking a two-week vacation.”

  “Yeah, I’ll believe that when it happens,” she said dryly. “I’ll sic Dakota on you to make sure it does. He wouldn’t say no to a vacation.”

  Brenden rinsed the washcloth and folded it over the kitchen faucet. The thought of Dakota hauling him off for R&R was enough to elicit a half-hysterical giggle and a sigh of longing. Brenden firmly squashed both reactions.

  “Come on.” Evelyn tapped his arm. “Let’s go see if our ears can handle the living room.”

  Trev, his two sons, and Julie had the long couch. Though Trev sat on the edge, his gaze riveted to the television and the hockey game. Julie was giving Aden an affectionate smile as he refilled his plate from the half-demolished offerings on the table. Maybe she would stick around. Dakota thought he should give her a chance, and that had him rethinking his stance. He didn’t want to put Aden in a spot where he felt like he had to defend her.

  Dakota immediately scooted over on the love seat and gave it a pat as he caught Brenden’s gaze. Brenden hesitated. It would look weirder if he didn’t sit. He had been second-guessing gestures and responses like that for years, but it was so much worse now.

  Brenden took his spot next to Dakota as Evelyn sat in her favorite chair by the window. It never failed to amuse Brenden that no one ever took her chair. No matter how crowded the living room got when they were teenagers and their friends were over. Or when Trev had his buddies over for a game, Evelyn’s chair always waited for her to arrive.

  Dakota stretched his arm across the back of the couch. He wasn’t quite touching Brenden’s shoulders, but he was still vitally aware of his arm there. “When’s dinner? I’m starving.”

  Brenden nudged him in the ribs with his elbow. “How are you hungry? You’ve been in here eating every snack we shoved out the kitchen while we worked.”

  “Snacking is not the same as having Aunt Evelyn’s ham or your potatoes.” Dakota inched closer. “That’s a tactic to shut us up while she finishes cooking.”

  Brenden had to laugh because it was probably true. “Give it another hour. Then we’ll check on the final dishes, heat the rolls, and finish up the salad. Then we can eat.” The hockey game was going strong and Caps were tied. “What are their chances?”

  “I’m not betting. Every time I bet on the Capitals, I lose,” Dakota said with a disgusted snort. “So now I don’t even speculate. But if we want a meal without Uncle Trev bitching throughout the entire thing, they’d better win.”

  Brenden could not get into hockey, and since he hadn’t checked his phone the entire time they were prepping, he felt zero guilt about pulling it out now. He’d have no chance during dinner.

  “How many client shows do you have to run before September?” Dakota asked, reading Brenden’s task list over his shoulder.

  “Just two. I lightened the load this summer because I knew my mind wouldn’t be on it.” Which wasn’t fair in Brenden’s opinion. His clients paid him to be present, so he rebudgeted and cut back. Then he’d have a final show in November. “The charity event in Atlantic City in two weeks and the July reunion in Wilmington.”

  “Is there anything I can do to help?” Dakota rested his chin on Brenden’s shoulder, and his closeness was making it hard to think. “You’re going be a whirling dervish in the next few weeks.”

  Brenden shrugged in an attempt to dislodge Dakota from his shoulder. It was nice having him close, but it ached too. It was a reminder of what Brenden could not have. Dakota’s casual affection was back stronger than ever. “Trust me, I’ll let you know.”

  Dakota had been acting weird ever since they went to the karaoke bar. Granted, they’d both been not acting themselves since Kent Island, but this seemed different, and Brenden couldn’t gauge the differences. If he was paranoid, he’d say he felt hunted, but that wasn’t at all Dakota’s style. But Brenden couldn’t get it out of his head that Dakota was plotting something.

  “What’s going on with you?” Brenden asked, his curiosity almost as strong as his desperate desire to get things back to normal. How the fuck could he move on if Dakota didn’t start acting like Dakota again?

  Dakota straightened and gave him a mystified look that Brenden would’ve sworn was genuine. “What are you talking about?”

  “You. You haven’t started an argument in forever. You haven’t called me a jackass in weeks.” Brenden turned an accusing eye on him. “And you’ve been extra, extra nice these last few days.”

  Dakota’s brows drew together in confusion. “You want me to call you a jackass?”

  “If I am being one, then yeah,” Brenden said in exasperation. “This nice thing you’re doing is weirding me out. Stop it.”

  Dakota rolled his eyes and huffed out a breath. “Brenden, you really are a jackass.”

  “Thank you.” Brenden sat back, crossing his arms as Evelyn shot them an amused glance. He wasn’t sure what he’d won with that exchange, but it felt they were finally on even footing.

  “You have issues. You know that?” Dakota continued in a pointed undertone. “Try to be nice to a guy and he gets all pissy and suspicious.”

  “Actually, I wasn’t that suspicious, but now that you mention it….” Brenden studied Dakota’s expression. “Should I be?”

  A quick smirk crossed Dakota’s lips before he suppressed it. “Nope.”

  “Liar.” Brenden tried to turn his attention back to his emails, but a single question lingered in his mind. What was Dakota up to? He knew that smirk. It meant trouble in all caps and exclamation points. It especially meant trouble for him. That was the damned smirk on Dakota’s face before they kissed.

  That was not a topic Brenden could get into here. In fact, it was best left alone completely. They’d brushed across it, said they were fine, and that was all that needed to be said. Brenden wished it felt more like closure instead of loose ends left dangling.

  “I am wounded.” Dakota gave him an easy smile Brenden definitely did not trust. “I was asking if I could help because I do have a hidden agenda, but now I’m not so sure I want to share it with you.”

  Brenden was not going to bite. He wasn’t. He returned a couple of messages as Dakota turned his attention back to the game. Then his need to know what Dakota was up to won. It was a survival thing. It was always best to know what Dakota was thinking. Brenden nudged him. “Okay, I give. What’s your hidden agenda?”

  “I was thinking that we’re getting near the do-or-die stage since the scale is so much bigger and since you have those other events coming up, we should get a jump start on our next phase for September. Just hole ourselves up for a weekend and map out our plans in detail so we just have to quickly check in with each other to be on the same page.”

  Brenden lifted his hand to check Dakota’s brow for a fever. That sounded entirely too logical and sensible for Dakota. “Who are you, and what have you done with my best friend?”

  Dakota moved his head away and shot Brenden an irritated frown. Okay, that at least was normal. “It makes sense. We’ve never
attempted anything on this scale. No, hold that. I’ve never attempted anything on this scale. You’ve at least had experience on your business end. I want to be sure it’s all lined up. I’ve worked with you long enough to anticipate your needs. This would put all our expectations in order, and we’ll adjust them as things change, but at least we have a plan for the next phase. We both know it’s going to go nitro soon. I want to get a jump start on it while we still have wiggle room.”

  “Wow, okay, good plan. I like it. I must be rubbing off on you more than I thought.” A wicked light appeared in Dakota’s eyes, and Brenden laid his hand over his mouth before he could utter whatever outrageous statement he contemplated. It didn’t help, though, because the brush of Dakota’s lips on his palm sparked a fire in him and he snatched his hand away. “Don’t say it.”

  “Stop asking for it, then,” Dakota retorted.

  How five little words could carry such a weight and a punch of memory…. Brenden couldn’t figure out how this conversation had gotten away from him. He had to get control back before they both said something they shouldn’t.

  Brenden checked his schedule on his phone. “Let’s do it next weekend. I have no plans other than work. What about you?”

  “Next weekend could work. The sooner the better.” Dakota turned his attention back to the game, but not before his hand rested on Brenden’s shoulder, rubbing. “In the interests of not being distracted, I have a plan.”

  “You have a plan?” For some reason, that filled Brenden with a sense of foreboding, and he couldn’t read Dakota’s damned expression when he was watching hockey.

  “Yep, and since you were being a butt about it, you’re going to have to wait and see.” Dakota cast him a quick, crooked smile, his eyes dancing. “Stew on that.”

  Damn him, Dakota knew he would too.

  Chapter Nineteen

  DAKOTA HAD a much greater respect for people who planned romantic getaways. It was an impossible act when you lived with someone who knew you too well and who was suspicious by nature. Dakota managed to get his turntable and favorite records out to the car without incident. But Brenden caught him when he snuck into his room to pack an overnight bag for him. The squawking over that lasted a good twenty minutes. It wasn’t until Dakota lost his temper and yelled at him that Brenden backed off.

  Now both of them sat in stony silence as Dakota navigated the winding back roads of Southern Maryland. A great way to start off his plans to romance Brenden for the weekend. Jackass. Dakota wasn’t sure if that sour thought was directed at himself or Brenden. Both of them deserved it.

  “We’re going to Trev and Evelyn’s getaway?” Brenden said, breaking the silence as he finally looked up from his phone long enough to take in the scenery.

  “Yep. No one will look for us in Cobb Island, not even our family. It’s quiet, and it even has separate beds so you can stop worrying I’m going to put my hands all over you.” Though Dakota was dying to get his hands all over Brenden. He knew himself, though. If he’d booked a hotel or B and B for the weekend, he’d never have been able to behave. His willpower was already frayed with Brenden’s pissiness.

  It had only been two weeks since his vow to woo Brenden and not seduce him, and Dakota was second-guessing that tactic. Because Brenden didn’t get the hint he was being romanced, and every time he took that tone with Dakota, he was begging to have the breath kissed out of him. Fucking begging.

  Brenden was silent as he continued to study their surroundings. Through the trees, glimpses of the Potomac River peeked through. The dark water flowed on toward the horizon where it met the lowering sun, splashing the sky with color. It was going to be a beautiful weekend. Dakota had plans for crabs and beer on the back sunporch and teasing Brenden into dancing with him in the moonlight. Between work of course. One surefire way to romance Brenden had to be through diligence.

  The contemplative quiet remained right until they pulled up in front of the pretty little blue clapboard house on the water. As Dakota parked the car, Brenden turned toward him with a troubled expression. He seemed as if he were about to say something when he abruptly got out and gathered his laptop bag.

  Dakota was afraid to ask what was going through his mind. He was likely to get a whole earful. It was better just to dive in with his plans. He retrieved their bags and dropped them in the living room, before returning to set up his record player. Dammit, this was going to work.

  “I figured we could set up our war room right in the kitchen,” Dakota said as he found Brenden in that spot. He’d already driven down to set up the whiteboard and corkboard. The refrigerator was stocked with beer and wine and items for quick meals. They’d grabbed subs for tonight, and he had a damned half bushel of crabs waiting to be picked up for tomorrow. It had been ages since they’d done that, and crab season was in full swing. Brenden was going to love it or else.

  Brenden leaned against the counter with a sigh. “What gives, Dakota? And don’t foist me off with some bullshit. We could’ve done this at home. Why bring me all the way out here?”

  “Can’t you enjoy a nice fucking gesture?” Dakota gave Brenden a testy scowl. “Why does everything have to have a damned ulterior motive?”

  “Because all my instincts are screaming you’re up to something, and I can’t fucking relax until I know what it is,” Brenden snapped back. “You’ve got me on edge, Dakota, and I’m tired of being on edge around you. It’s been going on for years, and I want it to stop.”

  That was a brutally honest response, and Dakota wanted to go to him and pull Brenden into his arms. But he knew where that would go, and he’d promised himself he wasn’t going to take the easy route. Not if he wanted this to work. So he had to be as honest with Brenden in return. Hell, Brenden was the only one Dakota felt completely comfortable opening up to. And if he couldn’t talk to him about them, they were doomed.

  “You know, we used to talk. Then Kent Island happened and we stopped talking.” Brenden’s shoulders slumped in misery. “I know I started it. I didn’t want to hear you confirm we would be friends with benefits, so I drove you off. Then I figured if we didn’t talk about it and kept it light and easy, things would go back to normal, but they’re not. I miss my best friend. I don’t know how to act around you anymore.”

  It was like Brenden read his mind, which was why they always clicked. “I miss you too, Bren. I have lots of friends, but no one who I open up to like I do to you. It’s the same with you. Lots of friends and acquaintances, but you don’t let many close. Okay, friend to friend, we need to talk.”

  He grabbed Brenden’s hand and tugged him out onto the sun porch. The early-summer air off the water was warm, but not humid enough to discourage snuggling. He pushed Brenden down onto the couch. “Give me a minute,” Dakota said when he started to question. He needed a beer to get through this. He’d never declared his feelings or intentions to anyone before.

  When Dakota returned with a bottle of beer and a glass of wine for Brenden, he found the exasperating man watching the lowering sun with a worried expression on his face. It made Dakota ache, because he knew he was the cause of so many of Brenden’s worries. Sometimes he didn’t know what Brenden found so lovable about him.

  Dakota handed Brenden his glass, sat down next to him, and slid his arm around Brenden’s shoulders like he’d been longing to do. “Here’s to Kent Island.” He clinked his bottle against Brenden’s glass. He’d thought about starting first but decided to nudge Brenden. He wanted to know exactly where Brenden stood before he opened his mouth. He suspected Brenden had been holding back too much for years. “What did it mean to you? That night.”

  “Me?” Brenden stared at Dakota in disbelief, and then his expression firmed. “Okay, fine, I’ll start. It meant….” Brenden rubbed a hand over his scalp and took a long drink of his wine. “Dammit, it meant everything to me. I’d wanted you for a long time. Years if I’m being honest. And not just wanted you.” He looked at Dakota, his eyes vulnerable and expression stark. “I�
�m in love with you. I’ve always been in love with you.”

  Always? Holy fuck. This time Dakota took a long pull on his beer. It scared the hell out of him. What if he couldn’t live up to Brenden’s love? He didn’t want to hurt him. But wasn’t not trying doing the same damn thing?

  “I guess it’s my turn, then.” Dakota set his bottle down on the table. This whole conversation was harder than he expected, which probably said a lot about his true feelings.

  Brenden immediately tensed and stared down at his wine with a lost expression. “Don’t mess with me, Dakota, please. I know what you were thinking. I know your views on relationships and love. I cannot be your friend and fuck buddy and accept just that. I’m being straight-up honest with you. That’s why I pulled back so hard.”

  “You have good self-preservation instincts.” That’s exactly what Dakota had been thinking of the next morning. Fuck buddies with a long history of friendship and a whole lot of hidden heat.

  Brenden gave him a humorless smile. “No, my sense of self-preservation sucks. I know you.”

  Dakota stood up and paced the deck before he gave in to his urge to kiss Brenden into a real smile. Focusing on his physical attraction was begging for trouble. He had to focus on their emotions if Brenden was going to listen to anything he had to say. “Well, you would’ve been right. I was only thinking of the sex and nothing else. It was distracting because the sex was awesome and I wanted to do it again.”

  Color warmed Brenden’s cheeks, and he took a sip of his wine. “It was.”

  “But don’t think it didn’t mean anything to me, because it did. It took me a while to realize how much, because let’s face it. I’m dense as fuck.” Brenden straightened and shot Dakota a glare, and Dakota waved him silent. “Let me say that another way before you get all defensive of me. Sometimes I don’t look deeply enough into my feelings and the feelings of those I care about.”