by C J Benjamin
He paused momentarily, looking at me fondly.
“Right,” he shrugged. “Hey, let’s go find a fire and get warmed up,” he suggested.
We walked arm in arm, huddled together for warmth, chatting and petting a cooing Niv as we went.
“Thanks for backing me up in there, Remi.”
“You know you can always count on me,” he said. “Besides, you made some valid points.”
“Thanks.”
“Apparently Jemma thought you did too.”
“Yeah that was really surprising. I didn’t expect her to be so agreeable, but I have a feeling it’s just her way of trying to win me over so I’ll share some powers with her.”
“Earlier today she was actually sticking up for you too and that was before she knew about the chief wanting you to share powers.”
“Really?” I asked unable to keep the surprise out of my voice.
“Yep.”
“I can never figure her out,” I sighed, wondering if Nova was right and I wasn’t giving Jemma enough credit.
It was hard not to think of her as Jane #31, who’d spent her days torturing Remi and I at the Troian Center. I shivered at the memories. I could see a small fire crackling a few yards away and picked up my pace, aching to thaw my chilly limbs. We were nearing a Beto family’s campsite, when a bright sliver of dancing moonlight caught my attention.
“Did you see that?” I asked Remi, pointing in the direction of the shimmering reflection.
“What? The pond?” he asked.
Without answering, I handed Niv off to Remi and changed my course. I was drawn toward the pond before I even knew why. Something about the dancing silver reflection was calling me. Its effortless movement seemed too light, too graceful. I stood still, quietly watching the shadow ballet, before she appeared to me again.
“Mom!” I cried and ran to the water’s edge, forgetting my chill and dropping to my knees.
“My darling,” Nesia replied lovingly as she shimmered into focus.
“Mom! You’re here!” I sobbed. “I knew it was you! I knew you’d come back to me.”
“Of course I’m here, my darling. I’m always with you, whenever you need me. You only have to look within yourself to see me.”
“But you left me when we were in the cave! I have so many more questions for you. I want you to stay with me,” I wailed, letting my fingers sink into the cold, soft earth that met the water.
“Geneva, it’s not safe for me to be present always, but when you truly need me, I will be there. You are stronger than you know, dear one. I saved you in the cave because you needed me then. I can’t touch you, because I don’t live in the same world as you do, but as you get stronger, I do too. Now that you’ve unlocked your identity, you’ve truly opened your eyes and you can see me. I’m right here, watching over you, like I’ve always been.”
“Oh Mom,” I sobbed.
I was shaking like a leaf, crying with abandon. The tears flowed out of me—a bitter mix of joy and sorrow. My mother was here, yet she wasn’t. I could talk to her, but I couldn’t hug her or touch her. She still didn’t belong to the realm of the living and she never would. It was strange how she was here with me, floating on the water’s surface, just out of reach. Something about that, made it hurt even worse than before. It was as if I was losing my mother all over again.
I felt Remi’s hand on my shoulder. I didn’t have to turn around to see him. His reflection next to my mother’s, gave him away.
“Geneva?” he called softly.
I wondered if he could see her too or if he just thought I was losing my mind. But the next sentence he said, gave me my answer.
“Your sister needs to see this.”
I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. Cutting through the cold night air, I headed back in the direction of the tent, where I had left the others. It was still glowing orange with warmth from the candlelight within. I burst through the tent flaps and stopped breathing.
I didn’t have a chance to catch my breath from my sprint back to find Jemma and tell her about our mother, because what I saw inside the tent punched what wind I had left out of my lungs. I stood, flabbergasted, as I gawked unable to process the scene before me. No matter how many times I blinked or rubbed the hot tears from blurring my vision, the view was the same. Two figures, swaying in sleep, limbs lazily intertwined in a hammock. His golden hair was just visible over her onyx mane. I had no intention of waking them, but my voice, fueled by the pain in my heart, jealously betrayed me with a gasp of horror and Jemma woke, turning to stare at me.
Rage blossomed like a flower inside my chest, choking the breath from my lungs. I stumbled backwards out of the tent and teetered aimlessly about before crashing into Remi. With his arms around me, I burst into tears.
“Geneva! What’s wrong? What happened?” Remi asked, concern coating his voice.
“Jemma! She’s what’s wrong!” I screeched. “She’s evil! I’m never sharing my powers with her. She just wants to take everything that’s mine!”
My wailing must have woken the Betos in the nearby tents, because I could see candlelight flicker to life and a few tent flaps open. I was angrier now, than I was sad. I pounded my fists against my legs in fury and mentally cursed Jemma for making me display this tantrum for the others to see.
Eja emerged from the shadows and rushed to my side.
“Geneva?” he spoke timidly.
When I didn’t answer, Remi spoke up.
“She was just coming up here to find Jemma and tell her that we’d seen their mother in the pond . . .”
“Deus!” Eja exclaimed, cutting Remi off.
We all looked at him with confused expressions, waiting for him to elaborate or at least translate whatever he’d just said.
“I should have known,” he muttered to himself. Then he looked up at me and said, “Come with me. We have work to do!”
Eja made me lead him back to the water’s edge, where I’d last seen my mother and as I had expected she wasn’t there when we returned. The moon had risen higher in the sky by the time we returned and it rippled just out of reach in the water’s reflection.
“She was right here, I swear!” I said to Eja. “You saw her this time too, right Remi?” I asked with a hint of panic in my voice.
“You’ve seen you’re mother before?” Eja asked, in astonishment.
“Yes, I saw her when I fell into the cave. She saved me from drowning. And, I also saw her when we were at the New Year Gala in Lux.”
Eja was staring at me now. I realized that I probably hadn’t told anyone, besides Remi, about seeing my mother in the mirror when we were at the Gala. I’d tried to tell Nova, but I’d gotten distracted by Jemma’s antics and I wasn’t exactly sure what I had seen anyway. Plus, there hadn’t really been time to try to figure it out. Everything spiraled out of control that night. And since then, we’d been on a chaotic quest for the Book of Secrets and it never seemed like the right time to bring it up.
“Okay, let me start from the beginning,” I said.
I filled them in on my encounter with my mother’s reflection in the mirror backstage at the New Year Gala. I told them how that was the first time that I had seen Nesia and really started to believe the Legend of Lux could be real. Of course, at that time, I still had no idea who I was or that Nesia was my mother. I did remember how strange it felt seeing her for the first time though. Some unspoken magnetism had drawn me toward her and when my palm connected with the glass it was like an electric shock. I had the same feeling when my mother saved me from drowning in the cavernous lake. It was painful, yet powerful all at once. I didn’t want the feeling to stop, but I knew I couldn’t physically tolerate it for very long. It was like staring at the sun.
“That’s because her touch can kill you, Geneva,” Eja piped up. “It goes against everything in nature to converse with those on the other side. Your mother is dead. She’s not of this world. She shouldn’t be able to connect to anyone here, but she was a
deity, a goddess of legend. If you’re able to see her, it’s only because she is channeling sacrificial magic. I’ve heard of gods and goddesses using the powers they obtain from offerings to increase their divine power. It’s dark magic, Geneva. What you’re experiencing now, being able to see and touch your mother, it shouldn’t be able to happen. There are tales of it of course, but I never knew of anyone who was able to find Ponte deorum.”
Remi and I stared blankly back at Eja, again waiting for him to translate. He kept forgetting that we didn’t speak Truietian.
“Right, sorry. I keep forgetting,” he said, reading my thoughts. “Ponte deorum is something that people from every civilization have searched for and even fought wars over. It means Bridge of the Gods.”
The phrase sent chills rolling down my spine, the same way the water was rhythmically rippling the moon’s reflection away from me.
“Eja, I didn’t find any bridge. It’s like I said, I just see her reflection sometimes in different places and we can speak to each other.”
“Geneva?” Remi spoke slowly, “I think what Eja is trying to tell you, is that you are the Bridge of the Gods.”
“What?” I asked, looking at Eja, who was hesitantly nodding. “I’m what? I’m the bridge?” I gasped, letting the words hang in the cool night air as they slowly sunk in.
My mind started whirling. Why was it that whenever I finally had a grasp on my life, something else was thrown at me? This was possibly the biggest and craziest thing yet. Finding out you’re part of a Legend that turns out to be true? Check. Accepting that you’re the chosen one to save your island and lead your people to a better life? Hard to swallow, but yep, check. Getting stuck with your arch nemesis as your long lost sister? Pretty awful, but we can build on that, right? But this? The fact that I was the bridge between the living and the dead? This was too much.
I felt like I was floating, like I’d left my body. I hovered above myself and watched my slight frame slowly melt into a crouch. I was holding my head, my white blonde hair glowing in the moonlight as it cascaded around my shoulders, hiding the frustration of my furrowed brow. Remi and Eja’s faces were painted with expressions of sadness and worry. I suddenly understood why they looked so gloomy and uneasy as they watched me try to come to grips with the responsibility of being the gatekeeper between worlds. This was more than I could handle. I was taking deep breaths and trying to remain calm, but I could feel the weight of this news pulling me under.
I watched as my shoulders heaved up and down, raking in ragged breaths. Remi and Eja moved closer to me. Remi knelt down. He was saying something to me, but I couldn’t hear him. I felt myself drifting away. I was losing focus; too many thoughts and visions were whirling through my mind. I watched Eja put a comforting hand on my shoulder, but I couldn’t feel it. As I drifted away from myself, I saw four figures come into view. They rounded the bend in the path and came upon the three of us, huddled near the pond. The tallest figure came faster now. He was shouting something and then he grabbed my body, shaking my shoulders. I felt it! I felt him; hot and fierce in my heart, when I heard my name upon his lips.
“Tippy!” Nova shouted, shaking me back into my body. “Tippy!”
I didn’t want to come back, back to my complicated life, but I couldn’t resist him. He was the sun and I was Icarus. I could already feel myself melting back into my body, in the heat of Nova’s presence.
I opened my eyes and foolishly looked up at his brilliantly appointed face.
“Damn you,” was all I managed to get out, before I drowned in my own darkness.
Blackness.
35
“Geneva?”
I opened my eyes to Sparrow hovering over me. She looked concerned. Her delicate features were pinched, her lips in a thin, tight line. Her fine brown hair was pulled back from her face, but a few uncooperative pieces strayed and she constantly tucked them behind her ear as she watched me.
I sighed deeply as I sat up, swinging my legs over the hammock. Niv was none too happy that I’d disturbed him from his slumber. He grumpily chattered as he leapt down off my lap and under the blankets I’d strewn off, apparently not ready to start his day yet.
“How long was I out this time?” I asked sleepily.
“Not long. Just since last night,” Sparrow replied.
“Oh. Good,” I said. But as the events of the previous night filled my head, it instantly began to ache.
“Geneva, you were only down for a little while, but a lot is going on.”
“Like what?” I asked, standing to look around the tent for something to wear.
“Here,” Sparrow said, handing me a stack of fresh clothes.
I was grateful she was always so prepared.
“And for once I’d like to be the one getting some answers,” she said, surprising me, while I stuffed my head through the pale linen shirt. When I poked my head through the other side, I stared at her.
“Sparrow? What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? Everything is wrong! How can you even ask that, Geneva?”
“Whoa, Sparrow. I remember what’s going on, I know the situation we’re in, but the last time I checked you and I were friends. Why are you yelling at me?”
Sparrow took a deep breath and looked crestfallen when she responded.
“I’m sorry, Geneva. We are friends. It’s just . . . so much is changing. I can’t keep up with everything. Like what the heck happened last night? You blacked out or something and your nose was bleeding. I had a hard time getting it to stop. Remi said, from what he could tell, you didn’t hit your head or anything, it just started bleeding.”
I put my hand to my nose as a reflex. Everything felt fine, but the chief’s words echoed in my mind . . . ‘you’ll get headaches, nose bleeds, ringing in your ears . . .’ Everything he’d predicted was happening. I shook that realization away.
“I’m fine,” I whispered.
Sparrow didn’t look satisfied.
“Everyone’s talking around camp. They’re saying you’re losing control of your powers.”
“I said, I’m fine. I just need to focus a bit more and if people would stop dropping bombshells on me, it wouldn’t be so hard.”
“What bombshell?”
“Never mind,” I muttered not wanting to get into the Ponte deorum with Sparrow just yet.
“Okay, well then maybe you’d like to tell me why you’re so angry with Nova? I thought you two were, were . . . dating?”
“We are definitely not dating!” I huffed as I finished dressing. “Why don’t you ask Jemma if she’s dating him?”
“Jemma?” Sparrow questioned. “I thought you two were getting along. She was being so considerate to you during our planning meeting yesterday, asking your opinion on things and supporting your ideas. She seemed like she was really trying to be sisterly.”
“Well, she wasn’t being very sisterly when she was shacking up with Nova last night, was she?” I barked.
“WHAT?” squealed Sparrow!
“Yeah, I ran all the way back to the tent to tell Jemma that I’d seen our mother in the pond, only to look like a complete fool walking in on the two of them cuddling in the same hammock!”
My voice cracked as the painful memory choked me. I quickly shook it away.
“No wonder you were so mad,” Sparrow said in a hushed voice. “Well, this probably won’t make you very happy then.”
“What won’t make me happy?”
“Eja and Remi filled us in on what happened last night and Jemma lost it. She was hysterical that your mother was here and she’d missed it. Nova was the only one who could console her. And . . .”
I was fuming. “And what else?” I demanded.
“I think he stayed with her all night,” Sparrow shyly admitted.
“Oh! I hate her! How is it possible that she’s my sister?” I screamed. I was pacing and suddenly felt the tent was too small a space. “I can’t think in here,” I said brushing past Sparrow as I grabbed my s
houlder bag. “Can you feed Niv his breakfast? I need to get some air,” I called back to her.
I set off aimlessly walking. I always did my best thinking when I was alone. I needed space to clear my head and gather my thoughts. Vida’s words were echoing in my head. She’d been right to tell me that love would only hurt me. We had things to do today to prepare for our expedition back to the Troian Center. I should be focusing on that, not distracting myself with Jemma and Nova! If he was falling for Jemma’s antics then fine, he could keep her. I was nothing like my sister. I wasn’t needy or fragile, so if that’s what Nova liked, then I’d been wrong to think he and I would ever work.
Even just thinking these thoughts, that Nova and I didn’t belong together, cut me to the core. I had to stop and catch my breath. My ears were ringing again. I focused on slowing my pulse and relaxing my breathing until it subsided. I cursed my foolish heart and scolded it to toughen up. I refused to let Jemma hurt me anymore. I had expected it from her, but feeling betrayed by Nova was what hurt the worst. I trusted him and felt so open and comfortable with him. And even though I’d seen Nova and Jemma together, my heart still refused to believe it, foolishly making me cling to every kiss and kindness Nova had shown me.
I screamed and shook my head, pushing those feelings away. I was done with Nova. I couldn’t afford to let him be anything more than a friend. I already knew that and this was the final sign. I was the Eva. I had so many more important things to focus on. An entire civilization was counting on me for salvation. With responsibilities like that, I needed to heed Vida and Jaka’s warnings. I couldn’t afford to fall in love and I needed to get a grip on my powers fast.
“There you are.”
As if on cue, Nova appeared. My heart flip-flopped and I grimaced.
Time to face the day I told myself. I turned to address him, steeling myself not to give him or Jemma the satisfaction that their secret romance was getting to me. I could keep a secret too, I thought to myself.