by C J Benjamin
“Morning, Nova,” I said sweetly, as I ducked the hug he tried to give me.
He looked confused, but recovered, shrugging it off.
“I was hoping to catch up with you earlier, but I wanted to let you get your rest. I stopped by your tent this morning to see how you were doing and Sparrow said I’d just missed you.”
“Yep, I’m fine. Ready to get today started. We have a lot to do. Have you seen Journey this morning? I think I’m going to go scouting with him to check out the route back since we can’t practice our powers.”
Nova looked at me skeptically. “He left at dawn with Mali and some of the other Beto trackers.”
“Oh well,” I shrugged. “I guess I’ll just go find Jovi and see how Quin’s training is going then.”
I started back toward camp, but Nova caught my wrist as I marched past him.
“Hold up,” he said. “Tippy, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, and I’m getting tired of everyone asking me that,” I said. “I’d just like to get on with my day.”
“Tippy,” he said, lowering his face closer to mine.
He was looking at me like he was searching for something, but I refused to meet his eyes. I knew I wasn’t strong enough yet. I needed time to build up my defenses. I would break if I stared into those emerald pools that could reach my soul and I didn’t want him to see that he’d hurt me. My pain was my secret to keep. I needed to be stronger than that.
“Tippy, it’s me. I know you. I know when something’s wrong and I’m worried about you. I’m worried about last night. What was that? What happened last night?” Nova pressed. “You were screaming and then you were having a massive nose bleed.”
“Well, I guess you don’t know me that well, Nova, because you’re wrong, I’m fine,” I said, pulling my arm from his grasp. “I need to talk to the chief about last night before discussing it with anyone else, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to find Jovi now.”
“Tippy, wait! I think there’s someone you need to talk to first.”
I paused, waiting for him to continue.
“I came out here to find you because I want you to go see Jemma,” he said.
I rolled my eyes and turned on my heels. “That’s not going to happen.”
“Tippy!” he called, striding after me.
I cursed my short legs as his lanky ones easily closed the gap between us, until he was blocking my path.
“What’s wrong with you today? Your sister needs you.”
“Why? She has you doesn’t she?”
“Why are you being so childish?” he scolded. “She’s really upset that you got to see your mother last night and she didn’t.”
“I got to see a lot of things I wasn’t expecting to see last night, Nova.”
“What the heck is that supposed to mean?” he asked, looking completely perplexed.
My heart faltered at the look of genuine hurt on his face and I knew I had to get out of there before I crumbled, giving into the pain of my pitiful, broken heart.
“I’m going to find Jovi,” I called as I turned, squaring my shoulders.
I left Nova standing alone, dumbfounded, while I dragged my battered heart away, willing my stinging eyes to hold back the tears that were threatening.
36
“Kobel! My men haven’t found them. Are you sure the location you gave is correct?”
“Yes, Master, but this Eva . . . she’s unusually powerful. And as I told you, the Betos are smart, they keep moving to keep her hidden.”
“Well, where is she now?”
“That’s just it. There’s something strange about her. Last night there was an overwhelming surge of power and now, nothing. It’s like she went dark; just shut the powers off.”
“Are you telling me you lost her?”
“No, Master. It’s just I’ve never encountered so much power coming from one individual before. Perhaps she has already made contact with some of the Pillars? We must be careful, Master. She won’t be easily controlled.”
“Nonsense, Kobel. She’s a child, raised under my watchful eye. She never had time to learn how to control her powers. She has no idea what she’s truly capable of. Even with the Betos helping her, she’s not prepared to face us. Tell the men to keep searching. Find her!”
37
I busied myself searching the bustling Beto camp for Jovi. I didn’t see the tiny girl or her playful sidekick, Quin, anywhere. Once again, everyone was tearing down their tents and packing up their belongings to move to the next location. Their nomadic way of life seemed so strange to me. It was so different from the familiar walls of the Troian Center. I had lived inside the same coquina shelled walls for all of my life. All that I remembered anyway. I realized, I envied the Beto way of life and the sense of adventure it offered.
I watched the Beto children skillfully roll up their hammocks and possessions. They seemed so carefree as they chatted with each other, completing tasks to help their family bundle up their lives into neatly folded sacks that they could carry with them, before morfing to a new location, courtesy of the amazing Bellamorf trees all over the forest. Or at least that’s what they used to do, until I came along and ruined everything. Traveling wasn’t as fun now that we couldn’t use powers. That meant traveling by morfing was out and I was just starting to get the hang of it. It was old-fashioned hiking from here on out.
I sulked as I watched the last of the damp cool air quickly burn off with the morning sun. The forest was hot and humid once more. I took shelter from the heat under the canopy of moss-covered trees, leaning up against a trunk, so I was out of the way of Beto traffic.
I felt my stomach begin to growl as I realized I hadn’t eaten breakfast. I rummaged around in my bag for any crumbs Niv might have left me, but came up empty. My only reprieve was that my journal was still inside. I pulled it out, running my hands across its worn cover. I opened it slowly and mumbled “reveal” when I saw no one was watching me. I knew we weren’t supposed to be using powers, but I wasn’t sure an enchanted journal really counted and I was desperate for an escape from my aching heart.
Dear Journal,
I feel so lost. My heart has led me into a battlefield and now it feels like it’s been shredded by a thousand tiny paper cuts. I saw Nova and Jemma together last night and I haven’t been able to catch my breath since. Nova seems to have led me astray. I feel like all of this is Jemma’s fault. I’ve seen the way she looks at Nova and she knows how I feel about him. She has to, right? I thought everyone did. Now she even has me doubting myself. But there’s no doubting that I saw the two of them snuggled in a hammock together. I only saw them for a moment but it was long enough that I will never forget the stabbing pain it drove into my heart. I can’t believe Nova hasn’t even come to me to try to explain or apologize. He’s always been so decent to me and always seems to know when I need an explanation to see that however mad his methods, he has my best interests at heart. But not this time. He had his chance just now to come clean and he just looked at me like I was the crazy one. He even had the gall to tell me to go console Jemma. That’s NOT going to happen. But none of that matters. It’s not like he could explain this away. How was flirting with Jemma to help me? It’s devastated me.
How could he betray me like that? He knows how I feel about Jemma. He knows she’s never been kind to me and that it’s so hard for me to accept that she’s my sister. Why does he keep trying to push us together? He’s always telling me to forgive her and give her another chance. Maybe I resisted too much and forced him to spend so much time with Jemma, trying to mend our relationship that I had driven them together. It’s true that I have been acting childishly where Jemma was concerned, but I can’t help it. She brings out the worst in me. Could this be my fault? Oh it would be too much to take if that were true, that I had done this! But I thought Nova loved me. I know now that I love him. I haven’t been brave enough to tell him that, but I thought he truly knew my soul and would never betray what we h
ad, whatever that is . . . or was. We’ve never actually classified it. He never asked me to be his girlfriend. I wanted him to ask me, but so many things got in the way. Remi, being one of those things. He’s my best friend and he kissed me! I may have kissed him back before I knew what was happening. I don’t know, it all happened so fast!
Oh none of this matters anyway. I’m being so emotional and thinking about who I love and who loves me, but it’s all a lost cause because I’m doomed to be the Ponte deorum. Why worry about fighting for Nova or anything else when I’ll probably be dead?
My torturous thoughts were interrupted when I overheard familiar voices.
“She’s not coming?”
“No. Jemma, I tried talking to her but . . . Please don’t cry,” Nova pleaded.
“She hates me!”
“She doesn’t hate you,” Nova consoled. “She’s just . . . she’s just overwhelmed right now.”
“Of course she does! She won’t share her powers with me, even though I’m the only one who can help her and she didn’t even let me have a chance to talk to my own mother,” Jemma sniveled. “She is such a spoiled brat!”
“She is being kind of childish,” Nova replied and my heart tore a little more.
“She is, isn’t she?” Jemma said, perking up with a girly giggle.
I couldn’t take anymore. I hardened my battered heart and commanded my legs to carry me away from the sounds of her laughter.
I walked with my head down and arms wrapped tightly around me. I was desperately trying to keep my emotions in check. I was lost in thought when I heard a familiar howl.
“Jovi! There you are!” I exclaimed, when I finally came upon her and Quin deep in the woods. She was covered in scratch marks and had leaves stuck in her brown hair. She looked like she must have just wrestled Quin out of the nearby tree that was still dropping leaves.
“I’ve been looking for you all morning,” I said.
“You have?” questioned the petite girl, her brown eyes, bright and wide. “Am I in trouble?”
“No. No, just the opposite. I need your help.”
“Oh! Anything,” she said, smiling until her dimples showed.
“I was wondering how Quin’s training was going? Do you think she’ll be ready for our return to the Troian Center soon?”
She resembled a bird, pondering a new discovery. Jovi’s head bobbed from side to side. She looked inquisitively at Quin and then me and then back at Quin. “How long until we return?” she asked.
“I’m not sure yet. A few weeks maybe?”
This piqued her interest, so I continued; filling her in on what we had to accomplish before we were ready to return to the Troian Center.
“I’m still going to get to go with you, right?” she asked awe struck.
Even though I knew Jovi was a Truiet and had been outvoted by my friends, I still felt it was too dangerous to bring someone so young and untrained to the Troian Center. But I had a feeling that letting us borrow Quin would hinge on Jovi coming with us.
“Well, you’ll definitely be part of our team,” I said, hoping it would entice her. “But we’ll have to convince your mother and that’s not going to be a simple task.”
“Oh Mom is easy! Yay! I finally get to do something!” she squealed with delight, hugging the wiggling wex tightly. “What should we work on with Quin today?”
I sighed and dove into what I knew would be a harrowing training session with Quin.
After a less than impressive demonstration of Quin’s listening skills, I sent Jovi off with a list of cues to work on with the wex. Then, I spent the rest of the day avoiding Nova and Jemma as much as possible. Every time I saw either of them, the image of them entwined in the hammock singed my memory, flushing my cheeks scarlet with heartache.
Whenever I tried to think of anything but the two of them together, my mind wandered back to what Eja told me about the Bridge of the Gods. It was unthinkable that I could be the link to the other side, yet I felt that heavy, uneasy feeling sink back into my chest. It was settling in, making itself comfortable, as if it were planning on staying awhile. I hated that feeling of foreboding doom. I didn’t need it weighing me down right now, not when I was about to lead my friends on an uncertain voyage back to the Troian Center. Even the humid midday climate couldn’t prevent me from shivering, when my mind flashed back to the harsh memories of our narrow escape from the Troian Center.
As I ducked into my tent, I continued to wonder if it were really true, that I was the one person that could connect the living and the dead. Perhaps it wasn’t true. Maybe I could only talk to my mother somehow. I decided, however, if it were true, this Ponte deorum was definitely something I wanted to keep to myself. If it got out, who knew what could happen. Eja said every civilization would covet such a power and I could see why. Everyone loses someone they love at some point; it’s the nature of life, yet so is the longing after such loss. That kind of longing can make you desperate. And it’s a desperate heart that can devour a soul.
I had to find Eja. I wanted to talk to him more about his Bridge of the Gods theory and see if it was possible for him to keep it to himself or at least within our group. I knew Remi wouldn’t be gossiping about it—that just wasn’t his way—and Sparrow hadn’t mentioned anything about Ponte deorum this morning. Maybe she just assumed it was normal for the Eva to be able to converse with her dead mother. Maybe there was hope that Eja hadn’t shared this with the others yet.
38
I found Eja sitting in his tent, the Book of Secrets propped open in his lap, papers with scribbled notes strewn about haphazardly.
“Geneva! I’m so glad you’re awake. We have much to discuss today!” he said enthusiastically.
“Um, yeah there’s some things I’d like to discuss with you as well,” I said, clearing a spot on the ground to sit down next to him, among his mess of papers.
“About this whole Ponte deorum thing . . .” I started. “Is there any way you’re wrong about that?”
“I’m afraid not, Geneva. It’s remarkable! You shouldn’t be able to do it, yet you can.”
“Story of my life,” I mumbled. I sighed deeply as the heaviness in my chest stretched out, making itself comfortable.
“I’ve been researching it since last night. I can’t really find any solid information. It’s definitely not in the Book of Secrets. But I know I remember the Ponte deorum being referenced vaguely in an old legend. I was hoping that maybe the chief would remember it and share it with you, since I was unable to locate the legend I’m thinking of.”
“You’re really sure it’s not just part of my Eva powers or something special just between me and my mom? She’s the only one I’ve ever seen. I don’t go around seeing ghosts or anything like that,” I added hopefully.
“No, I’ve read every prophecy about the Eva, the coming of the chosen one, etc. Ponte deorum isn’t mentioned anywhere. It’s a dark power of legend. Perhaps the biggest legend of them all. There’s no one on this earth that doesn’t long to reconnect with a loved one they’ve lost. But nothing comes without a price. This is an evil kind of magic, Geneva. The Eva is all about enlightenment and rebirth for our people. You are supposed to light our way into the future, not connect us to the darkness of the past.”
I heard the finality in Eja’s tone, but I argued with him anyway. “But, Eja, isn’t it true I can do so much more than you thought I should be able to? Like the fissures and visions and being an Echo. And if the Bridge of the Gods power was part of my destiny, maybe it was smart not to write it down, because if it’s as coveted as you say, then people would be coming after me to try to . . .”
My voice cracked as visions of my torture and death swam rapidly through my thoughts and I couldn’t finish my sentence. I doubled over, overwhelmed by the throbbing pain searing my mind. I could tell Eja had glimpsed my visions from his grim expression, but he kindly put a hand on my knee and said, “We won’t let that happen, Geneva.”
“I don’t wa
nt to tell the others. I don’t want to add any more for them to worry about.”
“Geneva, knowledge is power. Sharing this is your decision, but I think keeping things from them will not help protect them. We’re all in this together. You can trust us. We’ll keep your secret.”
I nodded, knowing he was right. Keeping this from my friends probably wouldn’t help anything, but telling them would make it feel real and I wasn’t ready for that. I swallowed back my tears, grateful that Eja hadn’t told anyone else about the Bridge of the Gods yet. It was my secret to share and I needed to be the one to tell my friends about it. Especially since I was going to have to ask them to guard it for me. I had once again, endangered my friends by dragging them into my messy life. I hadn’t meant to, but once I let them know about my ability to talk to the deceased, I would be making them accomplices to my doomed fate. But I knew Eja was right, not telling them wouldn’t make them any safer. They at least deserved the truth. I owed them that.
“I think you need to see the chief about last night. He’s already expecting you. I’m going to gather the others so we can adjust our agenda and make preparations. There is much to be done, Geneva,” Eja said as he rose and walked soundlessly from the tent.
“I understand that you had a powerful vision last night?” Jaka asked me.
I was sitting in his tent, where he summoned me. I decided if I was going to get this all out in the open, that everyone might as well be here, so I didn’t have to repeat myself.
As my eyes adjusted to the dim light inside the warm shelter, I looked around at the faces of my friends. Nova, Remi and Journey all looked tense, while Sparrow watched in terror. Jemma looked as aloof as ever. I swallowed hard, my throat as dry as ancient parchment. Eja gave me a nod of encouragement as I hesitated answering the chief.