by C J Benjamin
“But Mom!”
“And Geneva . . . stay away from Nova.”
Her last words haunted me as she dissipated before our very eyes.
So, my mother had known what I meant when I was asking for her advice on hiding my feelings for Nova in order to protect him. Yet, all her warning did was leave me asking more questions. Like, why she told me to stay away from him in such an ominous way? Were the legends true? Was Nova really like Kull? Or, was there something else I wasn’t seeing? I was aggravated that I didn’t have time to explore all my queries.
Jemma was smiling at me, like she was a cat who’d just swallowed a canary. “Well that was interesting,” she said, all traces of sisterly affection gone.
I felt the hairs on my arms stand at attention as I picked up on a threatening feeling from Jemma. She was making me nervous. We had just spoken to our mother and she’d told us to work together. I held up my end of the deal in letting her talk to our mother, but now I had a feeling that wasn’t going to be enough to get Jemma to veil my powers, as she promised.
“We should get started,” I said, moving over to the chairs by the unlit fireplace.
“Yes, I suppose we should,” Jemma said, coming to sit in the chair across from me. She pulled it much closer than I was comfortable with and stared at me. She was so close I could feel the warmth from her blood radiating toward me in the cold room. “I think there’s one more thing I’m going to need before we do this.”
“What else is there, Jemma? Eja told you everything . . .”
“I don’t need anything more from Eja. It’s you that I want something from.”
“What else could I possibly give you? You’re taking all of my powers.”
“Veiling. I’m veiling your powers,” she said sarcastically quoting Eja.
“You know what I mean, Jemma,” I said trying to retain patience.
“Well it’s really just a small thing, and after what our mother said, I can’t see you’d have any use for him anyway.”
The bottom dropped out of my stomach. She couldn’t be asking what I thought she was, could she? Even for her this was too cruel. But as she gave me a slow, perfect smile, I knew before she even spoke the words that I was wrong. I knew what she wanted. This was too steep a price. I already felt my broken heart shred further when she opened her mouth to say his name.
“Nova.”
“No, Jemma. And he’s not an object, and even if he were, he’s not mine to give.”
“Well you heard our mother. You’re to stay away from Nova, so it’s not like you have any use for him anyway. And, like you said, he’s not yours, so you really can’t do anything to keep me away from him. I would just rather not have you as a constant obstacle.”
My blood was boiling, but she was right. What could I do? I had already decided I needed to stay away from Nova to protect him. Wasn’t that why we’d gotten in that awful fight tonight? And now, after my mother’s unexplained warning, on top of Jaka’s and Vida’s, it seemed I had made the right decision to distance myself from Nova. I hated being backed into a corner like this. Jemma had given me an ultimatum. Her help hinged on me agreeing to stay away from Nova so she could pursue him.
Thinking I couldn’t be with Nova was more than my heart could bear, but thinking he would be with someone else wasn’t even on my radar and it knocked the wind out of my lungs. But what could I do? The only way to protect all of us was to get Jemma to help. My heart was splintering into a million tiny pieces as I conceded to Jemma’s wishes. Perhaps that meant it was the right choice, I thought, as my mother’s words echoed in my mind. ‘The decisions that weigh heaviest on our hearts are often the right ones.’
“Fine, Jemma. You win. I won’t get in your way.”
“Thanks, sister. I knew you’d see it my way,” she gloated. “Besides, if you didn’t agree to it, I’d just tell him that you kissed Remi. I bet that would do the trick.”
“Save it. I told him myself,” I admitted, completely deflated.
I was so wounded that I didn’t even care enough to ask her how she knew about Remi and the kiss. I doubted she’d give me a straight answer anyway.
“Huh, I didn’t think you had it in ya,” she mused. “Thanks for saving me the trouble. Nova seems like the type to shoot the messenger. Now, let’s veil your powers!”
71
The veiling hadn’t really taken any time at all. Jemma did it on her first attempt. It hadn’t been brutal or grueling like when I shared my powers with her previously. She’d felt no pain this time and neither had I. Just a faint warmth, and then nothing. Nothing at all.
I tested my powers by trying to cast flames into the empty fireplace, but it didn’t work. The fireplace remained dark and cold. I tried to hear Jemma’s thoughts, or feel her emotions, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t bound or cast orbs. I couldn’t dissolve into invisibility. Nothing responded to me in an unnatural way. I was completely ordinary. The only difference I felt was that I was more tired than I’d ever remembered being. I didn’t know if it was a result of being stripped of my powers or the horrible night I’d had. Either way, I was relieved it was over. Despite all I had given up, I’d achieved my goal of protecting my friends.
Jemma and I walked back to our room. It was cold in the winding hallway, and I rubbed my bare arms to ease the chill I felt. I trailed Jemma, who seemed to have an extra lightness in her step. I could have sworn she was almost skipping at one point, no doubt due to having veiled my powers, rendering me useless. And not to mention, her anticipation of pursuing Nova the first chance she got now that she had me out of the way.
She stopped just outside our door as if she was waiting for me. I tried to push past her, truly just wanting to get some rest, but she stopped me with a hand on my chest. “Remember our deal, Eva.”
“I know, Jemma. I plan on staying away from Nova.”
“Good. And I just wanted to let you know that I added a little insurance policy to make sure you keep your word, dear sister.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, my skin suddenly prickling with nervousness.
“I used Nova as the talisman for your powers!” she said, excitedly clapping her hands together with glee. “Brilliant, isn’t it?”
“Are you insane?”
“Shhh . . .” she murmured, holding a long, dainty finger up to her pouty lips. “Don’t want to wake anyone, do we?”
She went to turn the doorknob, but I grabbed her hand, twisting it away from the door and behind her back. I shoved her against the wall, hard. Jemma was caught off guard for a moment and she gave a tiny gasp before shaking me off, regaining composure and smiling.
“Careful, sister. I hold all the cards for a change,” she warned.
“Jemma, how could you do this to him? If you even cared for him half as much as I do you would never have done this! Can’t you see this only puts him in more danger? I was trying to protect him! To protect you! And everyone else. You ruined everything! He’s already a Pillar, so that means he’s a target for the Ravinori. But if they find out that he contains my powers and the Ponte deorum, that’s it. He’ll be their number one objective. You might as well have painted a bull’s-eye on his back!”
“Well,” she hissed, “if you stay away from him then no one will be any the wiser and your precious Nova will be safe. And I’m pretty sure this plan of mine ensures that you’ll keep your word and stay away from him. So you can thank me later little sister.”
“What’s to stop me from telling him what you did right now?”
She laughed in my face. “Please, you wouldn’t do that and you know it,” she said patronizingly.
“Try me!” I said with trembling rage.
“Fine, go ahead, tell him. You know he’ll give your powers back the moment he finds out what you did and then we’ll all be in danger again. Not to mention that I’m sure he’ll be so impressed by this latest blunder of yours, the great Eva! He’ll probably declare his love for you right on the spot and ask you to be h
is girlfriend,” she said sarcastically.
She was right. How had I been so foolish to trust her? I’d not only ensured that any hopes I had of a relationship with Nova were gone for good, but I had put him in worse danger than he’d been in before. I was so worried about trying to protect him, that I hadn’t seen I was actually endangering him. I couldn’t win. He was doomed whether he was in my life or not.
I was so angry with myself for not anticipating Jemma’s betrayal. When would I ever learn that I couldn’t trust her? Tears welled in my eyes and my cheeks burned. It felt like my throat was on fire as I swallowed hard against the taste of treachery. Jemma grinned from ear to ear. She could tell I was coming to realize everything she said was true.
“Oh come now, sister. It’s not so bad. I’ll take good care of him and he will be safe. We all will, and you’ll get to be our hero. See, everyone wins this way. Just as long as you stick to your word and stay away from Nova.”
“Just tell me how to avoid getting my powers back when I’m around him.”
“Hmm, I’m not actually sure. I’m sure touching him probably isn’t a good idea. Maybe you better just stay as far away from him as you can get and everything will be fine,” she said with a devilish smirk.
It was obvious that she knew exactly how she’d veiled my powers and how I would get them back. There was no way someone as cruel and calculating as Jemma hadn’t worked that into her master plan. But it was also obvious that not telling me was half the fun, because she knew it insured I would treat Nova like the plague. I’d made it clear to him that whatever we were, was over. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that simple. We still had to be around each other and work together to save the Pillars.
“Jemma, what am I supposed to tell him? He’s going to think something’s up if I’m constantly dodging him.”
“Not my problem,” she shrugged. She faked a dramatic yawn and said, “Well I’m beat. Veiling your powers was draining. I think it’s time I get some sleep,” and she slinked away through the door to our room.
I stood outside the door shell-shocked. I was exhausted but there was no way I could bring myself to walk through that door and sleep in the same room as my backstabbing sister. I wandered back through the hallway and managed to make it to the sitting room before collapsing onto the worn chesterfield. Niv came scurrying over to me and climbed into my lap. I was so happy to see him. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him to my chest, letting his long whiskers tickle my face.
“Oh Niv. She’s awful! How did I end up with the world’s worst sister?” I sputtered, crying into his neck.
He wiggled his long nose, pushing it under my arm and cuddling in closer to me. This actually made me smile and dulled the pain in my heart for a fleeting second. I squeezed him tight and buried my face into his coarse dark fur, drinking in his sweet smell.
“At least I’ll always have you, buddy,” I whispered into his fur. But as the words escaped my lips, I realized they weren’t true. The realization that I had to leave Niv with Eja and Jovi tomorrow hit me with stinging force. I still had to break the news to Niv. But how could I? Everything was going wrong. I was losing everything I loved, while Jemma kept winning. It wasn’t fair. I found myself wondering how many wars I could fight at once.
I reminded myself that this was all to protect the ones I loved and leaving Niv behind was the only way I could ensure I wouldn’t be dragging my sweet, defenseless marmouse into harm’s way at the Troian Center.
“Niv?” I said, trying to wipe away my tears enough to focus on his adorable twitchy face. He looked up at me expectantly, his tawny eyebrows shifting from side to side like he was trying to figure out what had me so upset. “I need to tell you something and you have to promise to listen to me and know that I’m doing this to protect us both, okay?”
Silence
“Oh no!” I cried, just realizing that with my powers veiled, I’d no longer be able to communicate with animals. “Okay,” I said trying to regroup. “Just because I can’t hear you doesn’t mean you can’t hear me, right?”
Niv nodded back to me, confirming my suspicions.
“Okay, good. Niv, I need you to stay here tomorrow when I go to the Troian Center. Eja and Jovi are going to take care of you while I’m gone. Hollis is going to take you back to the forest so you can stay with the Betos where it’s safe until we return.”
Niv squeaked his disapproval and even without having my powers, I could tell he wasn’t happy with me. But before I could try to reason with him, he jumped off my lap and scurried away.
“Niv!” I called after him. But he was gone; disappearing into the shadows.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I broke down into a fit of limb shuddering, crying. I slid down off the couch and sat hunched on the floor with my head between my knees, trying to catch my breath as I felt my world crashing down around me. Out of the corner of my tearful vision, I saw my shoulder bag hanging on the back of a nearby chair. I crawled over to it and pulled it down, letting it slump on the floor as I rummaged around inside for my journal. When my hands connected with it, I instantly felt a tiny bit of relief. My journal had always offered me solace when I felt desperate. I pulled it out and ran my hands over its tattered cover. I opened it and muttered the charm, but nothing happened.
“Reveal,” I said. “REVEAL!” Still nothing. Then the last few pieces of hope I’d been clinging to evaporated. Without my powers I couldn’t even use my journal. I let it fall from my hands and sobbed uncontrollably. Jemma had really won. I’d been such a fool to trust her. Even our mother’s plea for us to work together couldn’t get through to her. She stripped me of my powers and veiled them in Nova to keep me away from him. I couldn’t tell him or anyone else where they were hidden, I couldn’t escape into my journal, and now even Niv was mad at me.
“How could I have been so stupid?” I cried to myself. “I have no one now.”
“You still have me,” came an unexpected voice and I froze when I felt his warm hands on my back.
“NO! Don’t touch me!” I yelled jumping to my feet.
Remi stared at me with shock and hurt in his eyes. “Geneva, what’s wrong?”
“Oh, thank gods it’s you!” I said, relief rushing through my tensed muscles. “I thought . . . never mind.”
I slumped back down onto the couch and Remi came to sit next to me.
“Who did you think I was?” Remi asked putting a comforting hand over my trembling ones.
“No one.”
“Geneva?”
I glanced over at him and could tell from the serious focus in his kind brown eyes, that he wasn’t going to drop it. “I thought you were Nova,” I whispered shamefully.
“What?” Remi was instantly on his feet. “What did he do to you Geneva? Did he hurt you?”
“No. Remi, it’s nothing like that,” I said pulling him back down next to me on the couch. I hadn’t expected him to react that way, but I guess I should have known he would jump to defend me. He really was such a good friend.
“Then what?”
“Oh Remi,” I cried, surprising myself and him when I burst into tears again. I hated how I was such a wreck of emotions today. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried so much in one day. I guess everything had finally come to a head and once I let the floodgates open, there was no stopping them.
Remi cradled me in his lap and let me cry and shake as I told him how I allowed Jemma to veil my powers to protect everyone from being associated with the Eva. I mindfully left out that part that Jemma was blackmailing me by using Nova as the talisman. But otherwise, I filled Remi in on all the details, down to my mother’s warnings and feeling foolish for being betrayed again by my sister. It felt better to get it all out there and off my chest. The situation was still as bleak, but I always felt better when I let Remi in. He offered me a familiar comfort, the way only a constant childhood friend could. I was relieved that he didn’t judge me or tell me I was a fool. Remi always had my back. He just let me cry
and pushed stray curls from my cheek while I caught my breath and drifted into sleep.
72
I awoke to the smell of breakfast cooking and the voices of my friends. I opened my eyes slowly, as I let the fog of sleepy confusion lift. I wasn’t quite sure where I was. I snapped quickly back to reality when I heard Remi’s voice in my ear. “Good morning, sunshine,” he crooned, stroking my hair out of my face.
My eyes flew wide open as I realized I was still lying on his lap, where I must have slept all night! I sat up immediately self-conscious, wiping the drool from my blushing cheeks.
“Remi, why didn’t you wake me?” I hissed.
“You looked so peaceful.” He smiled. “But now that you’re awake, I say we get some of that breakfast before Journey eats it all!”
He stood up and stretched tall. His crumpled shirt lifted off his waist exposing his lean stomach and I blushed scarlet. What was wrong with me? We hadn’t done anything wrong. I’d just fallen asleep next to him, like we’d done since we were old enough to crawl.
He’s my best friend. Nothing to be ashamed of, I told myself.
I followed him into the warm, bustling kitchen, where the rest of our friends were gathered around the table piled full of food. But as soon as I walked into the room, I felt everyone’s eyes on me, judging me and I wanted to shrink under the table when Journey whooped to Remi, trying to get a high-five that he thankfully ignored.
“Oh look who’s up?” Jemma said cheerfully. “I made sure we saved you two some breakfast,” she said as she handed us plates. “You just looked so cute snuggled on the couch together this morning, I didn’t have the heart to wake you.”
“Thanks,” Remi mumbled, taking the plates from her. “What are these?” he questioned, poking the flat dough patties on his plate.
“They’re pancakes!” Jovi said. “Isby made them.”
“An . . . dwr . . . gud,” Journey mumbled between mouthfuls, giving a thumbs up.
“I’ll take your word for it,” Remi replied, while he finished piling sweet bread and berries onto our plates.