How Aunt Tillie Stole Christmas

by Amanda M. Lee

  “Oh, is this like when you came out for some adult conversation about the way we dressed during the summer and how it wasn’t very ladylike?” Thistle asked.

  “That was not why I came out that day,” Terry corrected. “Although, to be fair, I don’t think tube tops are appropriate for girls your age.”

  “It wasn’t a tube top,” Bay said. “It was a bathing suit cover-up.”

  “She didn’t have a bathing suit on underneath it,” Terry pointed out.

  “No, but that’s because she lost the top at the lake. We still don’t know what happened to it.”

  “How could you possibly lose your top at the lake?” Terry’s eyes narrowed on Thistle. “You’re too young to lose your top. In fact, you’re not supposed to be losing your top until you’re thirty.”

  Thistle and I snorted in unison, although I was the one who earned the dirty look from Terry.

  “What?” I challenged. “Like she’s going to wait until she’s thirty to start losing her top. Her mother started losing her top when she was sixteen.”

  “I was seventeen, and I didn’t lose it,” Twila interjected. “Matthew Prince stole my top. That whole thing wasn’t my fault. You grounded me for a week because of something I wasn’t even responsible for.”

  “I didn’t ground you for a week because the Prince boy stole your top,” I argued. “I grounded you for a week because I told you to wear a bra and you refused to. That entire incident wouldn’t have been so embarrassing – and you wouldn’t have been driven home naked – if you’d bothered to wear a bra.”

  “I was making a statement.” Twila puffed out her chest. “The sixties were all about women taking control of their lives and being strong.”

  “You need a bra to do those types of things.”

  “Not really.”

  “Yes, really.”

  “Oh, geez.” Terry slapped his hand to his forehead. “I can’t believe I’m sitting through this conversation.”

  “Shh.” Andrew pressed his finger to his lips to quiet Terry “This is the most entertaining thing I’ve heard in days. No one talks about bras at the home.”

  “They shouldn’t be talking about them here either,” Terry said.

  “What kinds of things do they talk about at the home?” Bay was curious as she spooned scrambled eggs onto her plate. “How did you end up there?”

  “Bay, I don’t think that’s an appropriate question to ask,” Winnie chided.

  “Oh, sorry.” Bay cast her eyes down at her plate. “I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to ask it.”

  In typical fashion, Terry fell for the ploy right away. “It’s fine.” He rubbed her back. “I’m sure the boys will tell you when they’re ready.”

  “It’s fine,” David said dismissively, his eyes widening when he saw the huge platter of bacon and sausage Winnie slid onto the table. “We can eat some of that?”

  Winnie stared at him for a long moment. “You can eat as much as you want.”

  David looked as if he almost expected it to turn into some sort of trap. “But … what do you want us to do for it?”

  “What do you mean?” Winnie was genuinely puzzled.

  “I mean … we have chores, right?”

  “Oh, well … .” Winnie broke off, uncertain.

  “You don’t have chores while you’re here,” I supplied. “Think of it as a vacation.”

  “Or being Aunt Tillie,” Thistle said.

  “Watch it, mouth.” I extended a warning finger. “It may be the Christmas season – and we all know I’m a total marshmallow when it comes to the holidays – but I will take you down if you get out of hand.”

  Thistle rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

  “I would listen to her,” David said, solemn. “She said she’s going to yank my stick out. If you’re not careful, she might use it to beat you.”

  I pressed my lips together and found something fascinating to stare at on the wall when Terry’s mouth dropped open and he turned an incredulous look in my direction.

  “I can’t believe you said that to him.” Terry was incensed.

  “Oh, believe it,” Thistle intoned. She was either oblivious to the fact that Terry was about to go off or sticking the needle in further because she enjoyed watching me squirm. I chose to believe it was the latter. “She says horrible things like that all of the time. Once, she told me that I was never going to attract a man unless I learned how to give better lip service. Now, I’m not sure exactly what that means, but I’m pretty sure I saw one of those erotic titles on Cinemax at night and the lip service they were giving isn’t something I want to do.”

  Terry’s cheeks were so red I momentarily worried he was having some sort of heart attack or fit. “That’s probably a good idea, Thistle. I don’t want you to give that sort of lip service either.”

  “That’s not the sort of lip service I was talking about.” I adopted a pragmatic tone. “I was merely saying that, with her attitude, she would have to be a much better actress than she is now if she wants to catch a man. Of course, to be fair, I don’t think she needs a man. I think she’ll be fine on her own.”

  “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation.” Terry was so befuddled he could do nothing but rub both of his hands over his cheeks. “Okay, Thistle, you don’t have to change to catch a man. If you want to catch a man, that’s great. If you don’t, that’s great, too. Just be who you are.”

  As if realizing exactly what he’d said, and who he’d said it to, Terry adapted quickly. “Or, if you want to mellow a bit with age, that couldn’t possibly hurt,” he added.

  Thistle made a derisive sound in the back of her throat. “I don’t need a man. I’m going to take over the world on my own.”

  I beamed at her. “And that right there is why you’re my favorite sometimes. That was my goal when I was your age, too.”

  “Oh, I’m going to be much better at it than you are,” Thistle replied.

  I knit my eyebrows. “You know what? You’re on my list.”

  “What else is new?”

  I slid my eyes to the boys and found them following the conversation with rapt attention. They seemed to be enjoying themselves.

  “Don’t listen to those girls,” I offered. “Especially that one.” I pointed at Thistle for emphasis. “She’s a menace. I’m a good person and I always have good ideas, no matter what they say.”

  “I’m starting to like you,” David admitted. “I thought you were a creepy old lady when I heard we were going to be staying here, but now I’m starting to think that you’re crazy, not creepy.”

  “I’m also not old.”

  “Right.”

  “Okay, we’re done with this conversation,” Terry announced forcefully. He was determined to turn the discussion to something that he could stomach. “What does everyone want for Christmas? That seems a safe topic.”

  “I want a car,” Bay answered instantly.

  “Not a chance,” Winnie said, ignoring the way her daughter’s expression fell. “You can have a car when you earn the money to pay for one.”

  Bay jutted out her lower lip. “That doesn’t seem fair.”

  “You won’t even be able to drive legally for months,” Terry pointed out. “Plus, well, teenage drivers are much more likely to die in an automobile accident than adult drivers. I don’t think you need a car.”

  “But … .” Bay broke off, unsure. Terry almost always took her side. He was adamantly against her now, though.

  “You don’t need a car,” Terry repeated. “I’ll drive you wherever you need to go.”

  “What if she wants to meet a boy?” Thistle asked mischievously. “Are you going to wait for her to come back after a hot-and-heavy date? What if she loses her top?”

  “That is not going to happen!” Terry’s voice hopped an octave. “We’re done talking about it. Pick a more realistic gift, Bay.”

  “I only want a car.” Bay’s voice was mournful. “I guess I won’t have a merry Christmas.�
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  “You can suck it up,” I said. “I didn’t have my own car until I was forty.”

  “Yeah, but that was in olden times,” Thistle said. “We live in a modern world.”

  She was in rare form this morning. I had to give her that. “Do you want to take up every spot on my list from now until Christmas?”

  Thistle, always in a mood to fight, quieted down. She knew exactly what that would mean for her comfort level during the next week. She swallowed hard. “I was just joking.”

  “You need to learn the difference between ‘joking’ and being a pain in the butt,” I said. “You can’t seem to tell the difference.”

  “I wonder where she learned that,” Terry muttered.

  I ignored the dig. “What about you guys?” I forced a bright smile as I eyed the boys. “What do you want for Christmas?”

  “Oh, we won’t get anything for Christmas.” David was matter-of-fact. “We usually get turkey for Christmas dinner, so we’re looking forward to that.”

  Bay’s head snapped in David’s direction and her mouth fell open. “What do you mean? Why don’t you get presents?”

  David shrugged, noncommittal. “We just don’t.”

  “We used to before our mom died,” Andrew explained, his expression sad. “Not a lot or anything, but we always got something.”

  He had opened the door, so I stepped through it. “How did your mother die?”

  “She was sick,” Michael answered. “She was fine one day and then sick the next.”

  “It was a heart attack,” David explained. “The doctor said she’d been sick for a long time, but she didn’t know it.”

  “What about your father?” Terry asked, his expression grave. “Where was he in all of this?”

  “He left a long time ago,” Andrew replied. “He just took off one day. He never came back to visit or anything.”

  “Mom said it was good that he did what he did,” Michael added. “She didn’t say a lot about him, but … I don’t think he was a good guy.”

  “That’s okay.” Clove patted Michael’s hand in a soothing manner. “Our dads aren’t around either.”

  “I don’t think it’s the same thing,” Thistle said. “Our dads at least pretend to call, and we’ll have gifts under the tree from them.”

  “It’s not the same thing,” Terry agreed. “You girls are lucky. I know you don’t always see it, but you’re lucky. Not everyone is as lucky as you are.”

  “Oh, we see it,” Thistle said. “We agree we’re lucky. We’re also unlucky because we have Aunt Tillie.”

  “That did it, mouth.” I balled up my napkin and glared. “Do you want me to get out my list and start crossing off names to make room for multiple runs of your name?”

  Michael giggled, genuinely amused. “What kind of list? Is it a chore list?”

  “No, but the person who is going to be taking over the list is a total chore,” I replied. “As for Christmas, you don’t have to worry about that this year. You’re going to get gifts.”

  “We are?” Michael looked beyond pleased … and surprised. That was enough for me to ensure that the brothers had the best Christmas possible.

  “You are,” I confirmed.

  “You don’t know that.” David was back to being cautious as he held a hand in front of his younger brother. “We’re only here for a little bit because they didn’t know where else to put us. You don’t even know that we’ll be here for Christmas.”

  “You’ll be here for Christmas.” I was firm.

  “The state people are the ones who decide that,” David argued, refusing to back down. “They can come in and yank us out – or apart – whenever they want. They’ve done it before. We only just got back together in this home. They could change it any minute.”

  “You mean they separate you boys?” Twila was understandably horrified. As worldly as I liked to believe we were, there were some things that we never had to grapple with. Loss of family and an overall support system was one of them. On that front, we were truly blessed.

  “We were apart for almost six months before we got placed together in this last home,” Andrew said. “Now I don’t know what’s going to happen to us.”

  “And all because some of the kids like playing with fire,” Michael complained. “That’s what happened, right? That’s why you asked about the other kids and setting fires.”

  “We don’t know what happened yet,” Terry cautioned. “We’re still investigating it.”

  “We’re going to be separated again.” David was morose. “I always promise them that it’s not going to happen again, but it keeps happening. Once I age out of the system, I’m going to get a good job and a house so we can all live together.”

  “Can you do that?” Bay leaned forward, intrigued.

  “I will do that,” David answered. “I don’t know how … but I will do that.”

  “I believe you will.” I meant it. “You’re still getting gifts for Christmas, and I don’t want to hear another word about you guys getting separated again. I’ll fix that.”

  Terry scalded me with a look of incredulity. “You can’t promise them that.”

  “I just did.”

  “But … you can’t,” Terry protested. “You don’t have any control over what the state does.”

  I stood, leaving my breakfast discarded, and crossed my arms over my chest. “Don’t ever tell me what I can and can’t do. I’ll handle it.”

  “How?” Winnie asked, her face betraying a mixture of curiosity and confusion. “How can you possibly think you’ll bully the state into doing what you want?”

  “How do I bully every single other person in the world?”

  “You’ll try to run them down with your plow?” Thistle asked, excited at the prospect. “What? She did that to Mrs. Little last week, although she lied and said her foot slipped off the brake.”

  “You’re definitely getting the whole list treatment,” I announced when Terry scowled. “You’ll be sorry you ever met me when I’m done.”

  Thistle’s smile was smug. “Ah. I love it when you shower me with love and affection. The Christmas season is the time for miracles, and that’s my favorite one.”

  I narrowed my eyes and leaned forward so we were at an even level. “Keep it up. If you’re not careful, I won’t let you help me save Christmas.”

  Thistle blinked several times in rapid succession before giving in. “Fine. But I want to help you bully people. I won’t be happy if you leave me out.”

  And she was back to being my favorite. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

  Five

  I thought I’d be able to slip out of the house unnoticed, but I got a rude awakening when I hit the driveway and found Bay, Clove and Thistle waiting for me.

  “What are you doing here?”

  Thistle, her eyes flashing, made a face. “We’re here to save Christmas … just like you.”

  Now that was a kick in the pants. Despite my promise to let them help, I thought I’d be able to sneak out of the house without anyone realizing what I was up to. I should’ve known better.

  “That’s very sweet of you.” I gave Thistle an awkward pat on the top of her head. “You’re not coming with me, though.”

  “Oh, we’re coming with you … and don’t pet me like a dog. I’m not Sugar.”

  “Where is Sugar?” I asked, hoping a change in subject matter would distract the girls long enough that I could make my escape. “I haven’t seen her all morning.”

  “She’s hanging around with the boys,” Bay answered. “They keep slipping her food when they think no one’s looking.”

  “Speaking of food, I’ve never seen anyone eat as much as they did at breakfast,” Clove said. “They must not be worried about getting fat.”

  “You’ve never been hungry, Clove,” I pointed out. “We always make sure you’re well fed. Imagine what it would be like if things were different and you didn’t always know when your next meal was coming.”

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nbsp; Bay was appalled. “They don’t get fed? Are the state people starving them?”

  Crap. Sometimes I forget how dramatic teenagers can be. I should’ve thought about how I phrased that before letting it slip out. Now the girls would spend the next few days plying the boys with endless servings of food.

  “The state people feed them,” I clarified. “I think they’ve been in a variety of homes, though, and I’m sure they get specific servings at the home so they can’t eat willy-nilly like we can.”

  “Like you can,” Clove said, patting her stomach. “I’m on a diet. I have to look good for the winter dance.”

  I flicked her ear. “You look fine. And you can’t be on a diet around Christmas. It’s against the law. You’ll end up in jail if you try it.”

  “I think you’re making that up.”

  “And I think you’re a kvetch,” I said. “But it doesn’t matter. You girls can’t come with me.”

  “If you don’t let us come with you we’re going to tell Mom and the aunts that you’re sneaking around to do something bad,” Thistle said. “They’ll stop you. Do you want them watching your every move between now and Christmas?”

  Holy crud! The little minx was blackmailing me. It wasn’t the first time, of course, but it was the first time she was so overt about it. Previously she tried to be sly and pretend she was doing something else. “Are you trying to bully me into doing what you want?” If she thought I would fall for that she was crazy.

  Thistle immediately started shaking her head. “I’m not trying to bully you.”

  “We kind of are,” Bay argued. “We’re not trying to bully you into doing what we want as much as we’re trying to bully you into taking us with you, which you should secretly want.”

  “Why?”

  “Because we want to save Christmas, too,” Clove said innocently. “We want to make sure that David, Michael and Andrew have a special day.”

  “It’s not fair that they haven’t had one up until now,” Thistle added. “You can’t keep us out. We won’t let you.”

  “Besides, you’re probably going to need us,” Bay argued, adopting a pragmatic tone. “I have no idea what you’re planning, but I’m sure you’ll need diversions.”