by Young
“Sir, if you do not have the financial capabilities to accommodate the boy’s expectations, there are others who are perfectly capable of doing so,” my chaperone asserted.
“Andy! Are you telling me that the lad has other well-endowed suitors willing to pay for such frivolousness?”
My lover and I sniggered at the Englishman’s comment, but we managed to suppress our mirth. My guardian answered solemnly, “That, Sir, is none of your concern. I presume you’re here to discuss Young’s counterproposal, not the proposals of his other suitors.”
He was taken aback by my mentor’s forthrightness. He raised his voice in retaliation. “I’m here to talk to Young. I would like Young to speak for himself.”
I spoke unrelentingly, “I have asked Andy to negotiate on my behalf. I have heard everything he has said and challenge none of it. If my terms are not met, I’m afraid our arrangement is over. There is no further need for discussion.”
By now, Ozwalt was on fire. He waved his fist at me and shouted, “You rapacious whore! You’re nothing but a self-indulgent sybaritic slut from a third-world country!” Before he could continue lambasting me with further insults, Wilhem entered.
“What’s going on here?” my big-brother questioned.
Mossey resumed berating my integrity, calling me a barrage of repugnant names while my chaperones carted him off the campus grounds to his waiting chauffeur and Bentley. Groups of students stood gaping at the wild man, speculating about the nature of the ruckus they were witnessing.
Before long, the school’s footmen, together with Dean Higgins’ secretary, had shushed the busybodies back to their respective classes, but word of the morning’s furor had already spread like wildfire throughout campus.
I thought I would be gone before the gossip-mongers would have a chance to corner me -- unfortunately, I couldn’t have been more misguided.
Sam’s Visit
An hour before I was due on Daltonbury’s thirty-seater plane, Sam came to my chamber to bid me farewell. I was doing some last-minute packing when the adolescent showed up.
“I’ll miss you and Duc,” he cried as soon as I opened the dorm room door.
Taken by surprise by this sudden outburst, I wrapped my arms around the boy to ease his forlornness. “You’re such a silly sentimentalist. We won’t be away that long. Besides, Stephen and school will keep you plenty busy while we are away,” I comforted.
He snickered sarcastically, “Word’s gotten around that you had a dejected visitor this morning.”
“Who told you that?” I feigned ignorance.
He gave me a devious grin, as if he knew more than he let on. “Oh, you know… word travels quickly.”
“Really? I hadn’t noticed. What do you know that I don’t?” I queried sardonically.
Sam simpered, “An elderly man was slugging lots of grimy names toward one of my intimate friends.”
“Really! Who?” I commented vehemently.
“You know who. What did you do to the poor soul?”
I kept silent as I finished packing. “I don’t know what you are talking about,” I maintained.
“Come clean now! I would never reveal your grotty little secrets to anyone,” the Freshman mocked.
I continued to busy myself, thinking of an appropriate reply. Just then, one of the school’s footmen arrived to collect my luggage. As I adjusted my cap to walk out of the room, I turned to my friend and uttered smirkingly, “Dear, dear Sam, do me a favor and mind your own business.” I clipped his nose playfully. “Stop being a nosy bugger. Don’t listen to gossip that has nothing to do with you.”
On that note, I disappeared down the hallway to join the rest of the entourage that was already assembled at Daltonbury’s side entrance.
Continuation of Andy’s comments
Young, this is how I remember that incident:
When we entered the visitors’ lounge, that arrogant nitwit was smoking his pipe. The way he stared at you made me cringe. God only knows what would’ve happened if I weren’t with you. He would have molested you without reservation.
When he catechized your “formidable” counterproposal, which you had every right to stipulate, I was ready to punch that fool in the face. He was lucky I held back and did not allow my rage to cloud my better judgment. Otherwise, I would had knocked him out cold! I don’t think Dr. Dean Higgins would have appreciated a dead aristocrat on the school’s floor. ☺
I was relieved when I read of his demise from Parkinson’s disease back in 1980. To this day, I’m still grateful for Uncle James’ timely warning to beware of this sanctimonious hypocrite.
My dear fella, I’m glad this despotic fascist is no longer living in our midst.
Andy XOXOXO
Chapter Eighteen
What Is Love?
“The best feelings are those that have no words to describe them.”
Michelle Hammersley
1968
Bahriji (Oasis) School
Classes resumed the following day after my arrival at the Oasis school. Besides our regular lessons, we Juniors had intermediate classes and tutorials in the Art of Human Sexuality. Professor Henderson’s lecture on that particular morning was titled “The Anatomy of Romantic Love.” Dr. Andrew Henderson’s teaching assistant was a big brother named Zac. This athletic Norwegian was then planning a career in education. His ambition was to obtain a Master’ Degree in Education before returning to become a teacher at one of several E.R.O.S. educational establishments. For now, he was learning the tricks of the trade by being our professor’s apprentice.
Zac
Zac was a dignified eighteen-year-old. His charming stateliness laid in his refined mannerism and cultured upbringing. His father, Theodore Matteus Christiansen, came from a linage of established Norwegian barristers, while his mother, Alexia, was of Romanian nobility. My initial impression of the teaching assistant was his pensive gentlemanliness. He took his position seriously and was efficient at every turn. As our lesson progressed and our professor touched on the explanation of love, I couldn’t help but notice discreet glances from the BB when he thought I wasn’t looking.
This ‘Thing’ Call Love
The Doctor questioned the class, “Can anyone tell me what constitutes love?”
One of my classmate raised his hand, “Love is an emotion. It’s involuntary.”
Our professor gave a furtive grin before responding, “Love certainly feels like an emotion – an incredibly strong one at that.” He paused before resuming, “But in the scientific community, the conservative definition of emotions includes happiness, sadness, disgust, anger and surprise – these and other basic emotions that can be seen easily on the human face.
“Brain science tells us that love is a drive, like thirst. A drive is not linked with a specific facial expression. It is a craving for a specific person. It is normal, in fact natural to “lose control” in the early stages of infatuation. Love, like thirst, will make a person do strange things. It is a natural addiction, and treating it like an addiction can help us understand the nature of this sudden, explosive drive.
“A drive focuses one’s behavior on a goal until that goal is fulfilled. Hunger is the classic example. When a person is hungry, the goal is food. He or she remains hungry until he/she gets food. That person can be hungry for hours, days, or even weeks. This person will likely go through a wide spectrum of emotions in attempt to find and consume food. He/she may feel anger or dismay when attempts to procure food are thwarted, and contentment or even elation when he/she finally gets to eat.” He stopped to observe the reactions of his pupils before resuming, “Like hunger, love is a drive. The other person, the one being hungered for, becomes a goal in this ‘love-sick’ person’s life, and a man or woman may go through many emotions as he or she focuses on winning the ‘beloved’.
“Very often, society tends to identify love with euphoria, but that is hardly the only emotion involved. Ecstasy, compassion, surprise, anxiety, anger, jealousy,
and despair are mood swings – a kite rising high and falling low, as if the string of passion is pulled by the ‘beloved.’”
Our teacher stopped to ask, “Has anyone here been in love?”
The class giggled, but no one answered this rhetorical question.
For some unknown reason, my hand rose to challenge my professor. I questioned, “Sir, are you referring to romantic love, or are we on the topic of unconditional love?”
The doctor nodded as if he understood yet made no attempt to answer.
He continued, “The ancient Greeks called love “the madness of the gods.” Modern psychologists define it as a strong desire for emotional union with another person. But what, actually, is love? It means different things to different people. From songwriters, we get ‘Whenever you’re near, I hear a symphony.’ Shakespeare wrote, ‘Love is blind, and lovers cannot see.’ And Aristotle thought that ‘Love is a single soul inhabiting two bodies’.”
When he finished the last sentence, he looked at me and said, “We, in the scientific community think that ROMANCE (he stressed the word) is one of three basic brain systems that evolved for mating and reproduction:
1) The sex drive or lust - the craving for sexual gratification - evolved to enable you and me to seek a range of potential mating partners. After all, we can have sex with someone we are not in love with. We can even feel the sex drive when driving, reading or watching a movie. Lust is not necessarily focused on a particular individual.
2) Romantic love, or attraction - the obsessive thinking about and craving for a particular person - evolved to enable you and me to focus our mating energy on just one individual at a time. As the Indian poet Kabir puts it, ‘The lane of love is narrow; there is room for only one.’
3) Attachment - the feeling of deep union with a long-term partner - evolved to enable us to remain with a mate long enough to rear a single child through infancy together as a team, although many remain together much longer to enjoy the benefits of life with a partner, even when they do not want children.
These three brain systems and feelings interact in many ways to create the myriad forms of loving.” My teacher gave me a magniloquent smile, indicating that he had inadvertently answered my question.
He signaled the teaching assistant to the chalk board. Zac wrote as our teacher spoke.
“Let’s start with ATTRACTION. We can choose to call it romantic love, obsessive love, passionate love, or infatuation: men and women of every era and culture have been affected by this irresistible power. And what is that power?” The doctor pointed at a student who was nodding off. He looked as if he hadn’t slept much the night before. The teacher’s questioning jolted the lad back to the present. He looked puzzled but his sprightliness returned as soon as he noticed the word ATTRACTION on the chalk board. He answered, “Attraction, sir!”
“Very good, Robin!” Our educator announced. “Let’s get back to our lesson before you doze off again, shall we?”
He stated, “The intensity of romantic love tends to last anywhere from six months to two years before turning into attachment, in the majority of relationships. This is when romance turns to love. The most extraordinary effect on human behavior is this thing called LOVE.” Our teacher indicated to Zac to jot down the pointers he was to divulge.
“Listed here (he pointed to the board) are some behavioral traits that may characterize the early stages of romantic love:
● Special meaning: the romantic partner is the center of the lover’s world, and he or she likes anything and everything the beloved likes.
● Intense energy, headiness; the lover has difficulty sleeping.
● The lover experiences a loss of appetite.
● He or she suffers mood swings.
● Separation anxiety comes into play.
● The lover feels a constant craving to be with the beloved.
● The lover or lovers feel intense motivation toward emotional and sexual unions.
● Possessiveness of the beloved sets in.
● Intrusive thinking on the part of the lover.”
Dr. Henderson paused.
Traces of Love
“Love songs, love poems, love magic, love charms, operas, ballets, plays, stories, sculptures, paintings, holidays, temples, palaces: the world is strewn with the artifacts of intense romantic love. Anthropologists have now examined over 200 societies, and everywhere they have found evidence of this passion.” He directed his gaze at me and said, “Romantic love is one of the Human Universals.”
“What are Human Universals?” I blurted.
“My dear lad, ‘Human Universals’ is a book written by an American professor of anthropology, Donald Brown. He said, ‘Human Universals comprise those features of culture, society, language, behaviour, and psyche for which there are no known exceptions’,” the doctor replied before vociferating, “We are not here to discuss Brown’s theories. We are here to talk about LOVE.”
He paused before taking up where he left off, “There are those who continue to believe that romantic love was ‘invented’ by 12th-century French troubadours and singing minstrels. But the oldest known love poem dates back some 6,000 years to ancient Sumer. It was carved on cuneiform tablets in the Uruk language. The story recounts the romance of Inanna, a queen, who fell in love with a shepherd boy, Dumusi, whom she called ‘My beloved, the delight of my eyes.’
“You boys will come to understand that declarations of love are found in all cultures. In ancient Greece, Psyche whispered to Eros, ‘I love you, I love you desperately, I love you more than my own self.’ Then, there’s the 7th-century Arabian legend that told of Majnum and Layla. Their feuding families kept them apart. These two young lovers died from unfulfilled love. In a 12th-century Chinese fable called ’The Jade Goddess,’ Chang Po, a vivacious boy with long, tapered fingers who was gifted for carving jade, eloped with Meilan, the daughter of a high official. Chang Po said to his beloved, ‘You were made for me and I was made for you, and I will not let you go.’ Unfortunately, these two lovers were of different social classes in the then rigid social order of China. Meilan was captured by her family and buried alive in her father’s garden. The tale of Meilan still haunts many Chinese to this day.”
Our teacher recommenced, “There are more examples I can give you.
“Deep in the jungles of modern day Guatemala lies a temple built in the eighth century by the grandest Sun king of the Mayan empire. The ruler stood over 6 feet tall and lived into his 80s, but Mayan inscriptions reported that he was madly in love with his wife, who died young. He built a temple for her to face his. During the spring and autumn equinoxes, the sun would rise behind his temple to bathe hers with its shadow. Simultaneously, in the setting sun, her temple would bathe his temple in its shadow. It is known that these two lovers still touch from the grave to this day.”
I raised my hand again. “It’s all well and good to be infatuated by romantic love, but that isn’t ‘true’ love, is it?”
Love and Lust
Professor Henderson ruffled my hair and smiled. “Perhaps I’ll have my delightful assistant answer. I’d like to hear what he has to say on this subject.”
The big brother was surprised when called upon to comment. His awkwardness soon transformed to conviction when he spoke. “Although, the ancient Greeks had several words for different kinds of love, let us divide love into three basic brain systems: lust (the sex drive), romantic love and feelings of deep attachment. Although these three systems are often deeply entwined, that is not always the case,” he paused for effect.
“For example, you can have sex with someone you don’t love. You can also be madly in love with someone you’ll never bed. That said, you can also feel a deep sense of attachment to someone for whom you feel neither lust nor a romantic passion.
“In short, each of these basic mating drives is associated with a different primary brain and chemical system,” he identified.
He looked directly at me before commenting, “LUS
T,” he stressed, as he proceeded to the side of my desk, “is what an Italian proverb calls ‘the oldest lion of them all.’ It has long been associated with the testosterone system in both men and women.
“You see, boys, first and foremost, romantic love is orchestrated by the dopamine system in the brain. Feelings of deep attachment are linked with the neurochemicals oxytocin and vasopressin.”
As he spoke, he discreetly dropped a neatly folded paper onto my lap. I listened attentively as if nothing extraordinary had transpired. I clutched the note within my palm before placing it into my trouser pocket.
He moved slowly to face the whole group. “Interestingly, most people can easily distinguish romantic love and lust. In the Polynesian island of Mangaia, ‘real love’ is called inangaro kino. It is a state of romantic passion distinct from sexual desire. The Taita of Kenya identify lust as ashiki, while they refer to romantic love as pendo. In Caruaru, a small town in north eastern Brazil, locals say, ‘Amor is when you feel a desire to always be with the beloved; you’re always thinking of him or her; you cannot live without him or her. On the other hand, horniness is referred to as Paixao.” The class laughed.
One of our classmates questioned, “Why are we studying the brain systems of romantic love?”
Dr. Andrew answered, “You must understand, boys, It’s a long-held belief that romantic love is part of the supernatural, a special form of magic that has otherworldly power. Although most people don’t believe that fear or anger or depression are part of the supernatural, many maintain that love’s passion is an ethereal force that engulfs the mind.
“However, a certain philosopher named John Dewey wrote, ‘Mind is what the brain does.’ Every time you feel, think or do anything, the brain is working - generating your thoughts, emotions and actions.”