Loving Mercy

by Dena Christy

  “When do you want to go get the tree?”

  He must have imagined the look because there was nothing in her voice, or on her face that showed that he’d said anything out of the ordinary. And he chalked it up to his own paranoia about declaring his feelings. If he didn’t act like having Christmas together was a big deal, then it wouldn’t raise any flags with her.

  “We can do it right now.”

  “Okay. I’ll go get dressed and we can head down to the hardware store. I saw they had some nice artificial ones this year.”

  He laughed, and she looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

  “I should have made it clear that by getting a tree, I didn’t mean we were going to town and buying a fake one. Sullivan family tradition dictates that we have to go out and cut one down. So go bundle up while I look for my saw.”

  “Yes, sir.” She brushed her lips against his cheek and walked toward the bedroom.

  While he waited for her to get ready, he put his coat and boots on, pulled a wool hat onto his head, tucked his gloves in his pocket and went outside. The saw he needed was the shed.

  He went to the shed, got the bow saw and grabbed the tarp. He spied the tree stand out of the corner of his eye and grabbed that too. By the time he left the shed and put the saw and tarp in the bed of his truck, Mercy was coming out of the house with an excited look on her face. He took the tree stand over and put it on the porch.

  “Ready to go?”

  She nodded eagerly and got into the truck. The tree farm was just on the other side of East Brooke and it didn’t take long to get there. The snow was a little heavier, and it provided the perfect backdrop for the farm.

  After they greeted the owner and chatted for a few moments, they went about finding their Christmas tree. They walked around until Mercy stopped by a tree.

  “This one. This is our tree.”

  Alex came to stand beside it. The tree was only a few inches taller than he was so it would fit in the house.

  He set about to work, kneeling on the ground as he got the saw under the tree. While he was cutting the tree, Mercy shook out the tarp and laid it on the ground.

  Once he’d cut the tree, he gave it a vigorous shake to dislodge any critters that might be making a home in it. He lifted and put it on the tarp. He looked over at Mercy and his heart thudded. The snow was falling around her, her cheeks were rosy from the cold and his love for her slammed through him.

  “What is it?” She looked self-conscious for a moment and he moved toward her.

  “You’re beautiful.” He leaned down and kissed her softly on the mouth. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, but he wanted the moment to be perfect. So he pulled away from her. “Let’s take our tree home.”

  This tree would play a part of it and in a flash, he knew exactly when and how he was going to ask her to be his mate. There was a ring in his top dresser drawer that belonged to his grandmother that was waiting for the right moment to be placed on the finger of the woman he loved. It would sit under the tree until Christmas Day when he would give it to her and ask her to be a permanent part of his family.

  She nodded and walked beside him as he used the tarp to drag the tree to the entrance of the farm. It didn’t take long to settle up with the farm’s owner and he helped Alex to put the tree in the truck's bed.

  By the time they got home, Mercy was practically bubbling over with excitement. It took some wrangling, but they got the tree inside without mishap.

  As soon as the tree was set up, Mercy dove into the box of decorations and pulled everything out. There was a string of lights at the bottom which had turned into a tangled mess.

  “Seriously?” She held them up. “You can take care of these.”

  She handed him the lights and dug through the box. He worked at untangling the lights and cursed when it seemed like he was all thumbs.

  She came over to sit beside him on the sofa and together they worked on the lights. Once that was done, they strung them on the tree.

  “Cross your fingers.” She turned and plugged the lights in, and fortunately, they all lit up. She gave a little cheer and went over to him and hugged him. “It’s so beautiful. Thank you for thinking of it.”

  “We’re not done yet.” He looked at the decorations that she’d pulled out of the box and looked at the tree. It didn’t look like there would be enough. “We may have to go into town and get more decorations.”

  “I have decorations at my house that I can go get if we need them. Let’s just put these on and we’ll see if we need more.”

  They worked away at putting the decorations on the tree and as he suspected, there weren’t enough to fill out the tree.

  “Looks like we’re going to need my decorations too. It won’t take me long to grab them. Do you want to come with me?” She looked at him and he shook his head.

  “You go ahead, I’m going to make something for us to have for lunch. That way we can eat and finish with the tree once you get back. You sure it won’t take long?”

  “No, I know exactly where they are. I’ll be back before you know it.”

  She came forward and kissed him. He held on to her for a moment, and a part of him didn’t want to let her go. He had a strange feeling that he should at least go with her.

  “Maybe I should come with you.”

  Her stomach rumbled, and she laughed. “You stay here and make food. I’ll be back before you know it.”

  She turned and went to the front of the house, and he went into the kitchen to put together something for them to eat. He was sure that he had some chili in the freezer and he went looking for it.

  When he heard the front door close, he stopped for a second as that same feeling washed over him again. All she was doing was going to get Christmas decorations, and she’d be back in a little while. There was no need for him to think that something was going to happen to her between there and here.

  14

  Mercy pulled up in her driveway, got out of her car and went to the garage door. She had to pull hard to get it open. She pulled her car into the garage and shut it off. She got out of the car and flicked on the light.

  On the small rack of storage shelves, she spied a box marked “Christmas”. She pulled it off the shelf and opened it. She frowned for a second when she saw it was a box of lights that she and her mother used to put up on the outside of the house. It wasn’t the Christmas decorations she was looking for. She put the box back and remembered that she had a box of decorations for their tree in the house.

  A small amount of snow was blowing in the garage, so she figured she might as well shut the garage door while she looked for the decorations. It took as much work closing it from the inside as opening it from the outside had, but she managed.

  She walked up to the door leading from the garage to the house and fished in her purse for her keys as a happy feeling washed over her. She’d never felt closer to Alex as she had when she’d gone to get the tree with him. She hadn’t been this excited about Christmas since the one she’d had before her mother had been diagnosed with cancer.

  As she put her key in the lock, it hit her suddenly that somewhere between fleeing to his house in the wake of Nathan’s break-in and going to get the Christmas tree that she’d fallen in love with him.

  She tested the feeling as she twisted the lock. This was a different feeling entirely from all the other times she’d thought she’d been in love. It was bigger, happier and scarier than anything she’d ever felt. She squeezed the key until her fingers ached and she forced herself to relax her grip.

  She pushed open the door and shut it behind her and leaned against it. She closed her eyes for a second as she tried to calm the rapid thud of her heart. Had it really happened? Had she fallen in love with Alex? Had the clock started ticking on the end of it all now that she realized how she felt about him?

  Fear, sudden and visceral, went through her and she struggled to breathe. How could she have let this happen?

  She straig
htened away from the door and shoved the thought from her mind. She wouldn’t tell him how she felt until she was sure of his feelings and even then, the thought of baring her soul to him made her want to shy away from it.

  She came here for a reason, so she slammed the door on her thoughts so she wouldn’t end up having a panic attack in front of her door. She’d get what she came here for, go back to Alex’s house and pretend that everything was the same as it had been when she’d left his house to come over here.

  She moved further into the house and set her purse on the table in the hallway. As long as she didn’t think about it, she could move, so that’s what she focused on. Not thinking and just moving.

  The Christmas decorations were in the hall closet upstairs, and she went up there to get them. As she pulled them out, some of her enthusiasm for decorating the Christmas tree with Alex had waned. She tried to recapture the excitement that she’d had when they’d gotten the tree together and when they’d set it up in his living room.

  Stop being so stupid. Just because you love him doesn’t mean it has to be over.

  She straightened her spine, grabbed the box of decorations and took them down the stairs. She set the box down in the hall near the door and turned to get her purse from the table. The daylight coming into the hall shifted between light and dark. She stiffened when a movement in the frosted window of the front door came to her out of the corner of her eye.

  She heard a scratching noise coming from the door, almost as if something was doing something to the deadbolt. Her eyebrows drew together, and she slowly approached the front door. She drew back the curtain beside the door and looked out.

  “What the fuck?” Her voice, despite being quiet, startled her.

  Dwight was on her front step, and he was bent forward slightly as if his attention was on the deadbolt.

  A surge of anger washed through her and she twisted the deadbolt and yanked open the door.

  “Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  He drew up in surprise and stumbled back a little. She marched out of the house and slammed the door shut behind her.

  “Mercy, it’s not what it looks like.”

  Her eyes darted down and she could see he was holding something in his hand, which he quickly tucked into the pocket of his coat.

  “Really? Because it looks like you were trying to break into my house. So what exactly was it that you were doing?”

  He looked away for a second, and his jaw worked for a moment. When he turned back to her, he had a placating expression on his face and he held his hands up in front of him.

  “I know it looks bad, but I only needed a place to crash for a bit.”

  “So you thought that you’d just break in?” She looked at him with disbelief. “So you figured since I wasn’t using the house, you’d just come in and squat for a while? How long were you planning on staying, Dwight?”

  “Look, it would only be until I could get some money together. And I figured you’d never even know I was here since you’re shacking up with Alex.”

  She shook her head in disbelief. “Why didn’t you ask me if you could stay here?”

  “You haven’t exactly been that warm to me since I got to town.”

  “Do you blame me? You left with no goodbye. You stayed away for years and you turn up on my doorstep out of the blue and expect me to be happy to see you again?” She swallowed hard when it became clear to her that he’d never come back to town because he wanted to get to know her. He was here because he wanted to use her for a place to hide out until he had enough money to waltz back out of her life again. “I want you to leave.”

  “You don’t mean that. Look, I’m sorry but I honestly didn’t think you’d notice.” He spread his hands wide and gave her what she suspected was his most rehearsed apologetic look. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. Haven’t you ever made a mistake?”

  “Actually, I did. Allowing you to worm your way back into my life was a big one. You need to go, Dwight.” She straightened her spine and stared him straight in the eyes.

  His face darkened, and he dropped the apologetic mask he’d been wearing.

  “I’m your father, and you owe me. Stop being a little bitch about this.” His voice was ugly, and for the first time, she saw the real Dwight. Cajoling wouldn’t work, so now he was going to try his best to intimidate her into letting him use her house as a place to crash.

  “One sperm with a sense of direction doesn’t make you a father.” She pulled her cell phone out of her coat pocket and held it up. “You can either leave on your own or I can call the police and have them escort you away. I’m sure they would be interested in knowing that you tried to break into my house.”

  He curled his lip, and she knew by looking at him that he was fighting the urge to take a step toward her. “You’ll regret sending me away. How can you do this to your own flesh and blood?”

  “I don’t believe I’m going to regret a thing. Get out of my life, Dwight. Get out of the area completely. Once I talk to Logan about what happened here, you won’t be welcome in any of his territories. So I suggest you pack your things and leave. I don’t think you’ll like what Logan will do to you if he finds you still in the area after this.”

  He smirked at her for a second. She thought he was going to say something more, but he didn’t. He turned on his heel and strode down the driveway toward his beat up old car. He got in, turned on the car and drove down the street as fast as that piece of shit would take him.

  She stood there shaking for a moment before she went back into the house. Had it all been a lie? Had the only reason he’d come back to town been to use her for a place to hide out? She didn’t believe for a second that he needed somewhere to stay because he didn’t have any money. He was running away from something, and he’d come back to the town he’d abandoned years ago as a place to hide.

  She sat down on the edge of the stairs. The funny thing was if he’d asked her, she probably would have let him stay here. Deep down, as soon as he came to town claiming to be her father, she’d wanted to please him. It was why she’d been so torn between that desire and her anger over his abandonment. Why the meeting with him and listening to why he’d left in the first place had been such a dilemma for her.

  And to think that the whole time she’d been going through that he’d only been using her. It was clear now that every emotion he’d displayed had been a lie, one calculated to get what he wanted from her. He’d only been trying to use her for his own gain, and she felt like such a fool.

  She reached inside herself, to feel the anger that had come upon her when she’d been standing there on the porch, but all there was inside her was a deep hurt. She clutched at her middle and tried to hold it in. He’d left her years ago, betrayed his parental relationship with her when she was three. This latest slight shouldn’t hurt, but it did.

  She tipped to the side and rested her head against the wall when the first tear fell. One after another they fell from her eyes in a hot flood but there was no noise accompanying those tears.

  She would get over this, she would be stronger. She didn’t need anyone, and it was better not to depend on anyone because that was only a path that took you straight to pain and loss.

  Where the hell was she?

  Alex looked at the clock and saw that over an hour had passed since Mercy had gone to get the decorations for the tree. Even if she had to search her house for them, it shouldn’t take that long to get them and come back. He turned off the stove and moved the chili off the heat.

  Worry clawed at his gut as he went to the front of the house and put on his coat and boots. His keys were in his hand and he was out the door, trying to calm the rapid-fire beating of his heart. She was fine. She’d just gotten distracted by something and had lost track of time.

  As he drove toward Eden Creek, he’d almost had himself convinced that he would pass her on the road there. He kept his eyes focused on the road, but of the few vehicle
s that passed him, none of them belonged to Mercy.

  He pulled into her driveway and when he didn’t see her car there, he panicked for a second. He knew when she’d said she was going that something was going to happen. Usually, he wasn’t one for feelings of doom or premonitions, but how else could he explain that letting her walk out that door was going to lead to disaster?

  His eyes went to the garage door and he forced himself to calm down. She’d probably parked her car in there. At least that was what he was going to believe unless something came up to prove him wrong.

  He got out of his truck and went up the porch steps. He tried to see inside the window, but the curtain obscured most of his view.

  He knocked softly on the door and waited. After several moments with no response, he tested the door and found that it was unlocked. He went inside and shut the door behind him.

  “Mercy?” He called out to her and received no response. He saw a box sitting in the hall marked “Christmas” so he knew that she’d been here. There was a door off to the side of the hall that looked to be in the right spot to go to the garage and when he opened it he saw that her car was parked inside.

  So where was she?

  “Mercy?” His voice was louder this time. He strained to hear but there was no answer to his call. The house looked exactly like it had the last time he’d been in here. There was no sign of any kind of struggle.

  He didn’t know why she wasn’t answering him if she was still in the house, but he decided that he should look around the house before he panicked and called Luke to report her missing.

  He went up the stairs and peeked in the first door he came to. It was her office, and it was empty. The door right beside it was for the bathroom and it was empty too. He went down the hall and where there were two doors across from each other. One was slightly closed, and he pushed it open.

  Relief poured through him when he saw her curled up on her bed. Had she come in here and fallen asleep?

  He moved a little further into the room and he could see she wasn't sleeping. Her eyes were open, and she was staring at the wall across from her.