Losing Control (The Control Duet Book 1)

by Lindsey Powell

  “Sure.”

  He sits down and takes my hands in both of his. “I didn’t mean to sound disappointed by your job offer.”

  “You have nothing to apologise for. Kim is the one who should be apologising.”

  “She’s your friend and she expected me to react differently,” he says sounding so bloody reasonable about her behaviour.

  “That’s no excuse.”

  I’m not having him sticking up for her. She was totally out of order.

  “I guess I was just a little shocked that she was the one that told me,” he admits.

  “I didn’t want her to. She blurted it out before I had a chance to.”

  “I know.”

  “I wanted to tell you tonight, over dinner.”

  “Dinner?” he asks, his eyebrows raised in question.

  “Yeah. I was going to suggest going out after work, but she ruined it.”

  “She’s just excited for you.”

  “I know that,” I say with a sigh. “But it was still inappropriate.”

  “Does she have a problem with me?” he asks, and I immediately tense up. He sees the change in my body language before I can hide it. “She does.”

  “It’s not you,” I say sounding like a fucking cliché. I was hoping to keep this from him, but I may as well be honest now. “It’s Nancy.”

  “Nancy?” His eyebrows knit together, and I know that what I am about to say is going to annoy him. Hell, it would annoy me if it were the other way around.

  “Kim and Nancy were talking the other day and Nancy told her a load of bullshit.”

  “Like what?” I grimace at his question. “It’s okay, Luce, you can tell me.” I love that he uses my nickname now. It makes me feel like this is familiar, comfortable, and for keeps.

  “Nancy told Kim that things didn’t work out between the two of you because you started to become possessive.” His eyes widen but I continue to speak before he can say anything. “I told Kim it was all rubbish and that Nancy was the one who ruined things between the both of you, but she clearly still has reservations.”

  “Do you believe what Nancy says?”

  “Of course not,” I reply instantly.

  “Well, then that’s all that really matters,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders.

  “You mean, you’re not mad?”

  “Mad? No, I’m not mad. I’m a little disappointed that your friend doesn’t trust my intentions towards you, but I’m not mad.” I lean towards him and place a light kiss on his lips, my love ratcheting up a notch for him. “What was that for?”

  “Because, you really are amazing,” I tell him, meaning it more than ever.

  There would have been a time when I was too embarrassed to say this to him, or to any man, but Michael is changing me, and he is changing me for the better.

  “So are you, and you’re going to be an amazing marketing manager,” he says with a smile across his face.

  “Thank you.”

  “Now all I have to do is win Kim’s acceptance.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I know I don’t have to, I want to.” And that right there is why this guy is the one that I am supposed to be with. “I just want you to be happy.”

  “I am,” I say. No doubts. No objections. No questions whirling around in my mind.

  Michael is putting me back together, one day at a time.

  Chapter Twelve

  Mediation

  “Be nice,” I say to Kim as we make our way to the restaurant to meet Michael.

  “I will be,” Kim replies as she tries to be convincing.

  Tonight Kim, Jeremy and I are having dinner with Michael. It was all Michael’s idea as he wants to get to know Kim better. It has been two days since Kim and I had our argument, and we have rectified that as much as we can. This is the final step to putting whatever bullshit Nancy has fed her to bed.

  “Good. You too, Jeremy,” I say as he trails behind both of us.

  “Hey, I have no beef with this guy,” Jeremy says.

  “No, but you are loyal as hell to Kim, and what she says goes,” I say.

  Jeremy is like a puppy dog when it comes to Kim, so if Kim doesn’t like someone then Jeremy usually follows suit. Kim has the decency to remain quiet as she knows that what I am saying is true. Jeremy however appears keen to dispel my theory.

  “I do have my own mind, you know? I am capable of choosing whether I like someone or not.” I turn around to look at him and even he doesn’t look entirely convinced by his words.

  “Just be cool.”

  “I will. Jeez, anyone has got to be better than Tom.”

  “Jeremy,” Kim hisses at him.

  “What?” Jeremy says.

  “That is so inappropriate,” Kim says, hissing her words at him.

  “Actually,” I interrupt before they can have one of their regular bickering sessions. “Jeremy’s right, Tom was a dick.”

  I face forward, my head held high and stride ahead of them both to enter the restaurant where we are meeting Michael. I know that both of them will be shocked by my words as they witnessed how heartbroken I was to find out that Tom wasn’t my soulmate, but I’ve seen the light and have gained perspective in the last few months. In fact, I feel a little bit stupid for spending so long licking my wounds. Tom wasn’t meant to be my happy ever after, but Michael is certainly looking like he sure as hell is.

  My eyes scan the restaurant in search of Michael, but instead they find the person that the three of us were just talking about.

  “Lucy,” Tom says, looking shocked to see me.

  “Tom,” I say with a slight nod of my head. I have no interest in speaking with him, all I want to do is find Michael and make sure that my friends see the type of man that I have fallen in love with.

  Tom’s mouth has dropped open a little and I notice how thin his lips are. I never noticed it before. His red hair is longer than when I last saw him and almost reaching his shoulders. He’s also lost weight. Less pudgy, but far from toned, more sinewy.

  Good grief, I spent months pining for this guy, and he doesn’t hold a candle to Michael.

  “Kim, Jeremy,” Tom says, acknowledging my friends behind me. I hear Kim murmur something and Jeremy grunts in response. Tom turns his attention back to me.

  “How are you?” he asks in a pitiful tone.

  “I’m great thanks, Tom,” I reply, a genuine smile on my face.

  He is clearly shocked at my response if his wide eyes and dropped jaw are anything to go by. I don’t ask how he is because I honestly don’t care, and I don’t want to drag this conversation out any longer than is necessary.

  “You’re looking good,” he says as he rakes his eyes up and down me. I fidget slightly as I feel uncomfortable. I chose to wear a little black halter-neck dress that is cut to just above the knee. Teamed with my black heels and lace cardigan, I thought that I looked pretty good, but Tom is making me feel icky.

  “Thanks,” I say awkwardly.

  “So––”

  “Hey,” Michael says as he comes from behind Tom and places a kiss on my cheek, interrupting whatever Tom was about to say.

  “Hey,” I answer, smiling up at him.

  “Wow, you look amazing,” Michael says as his eyes drink in my attire. His words elicit an altogether different reaction from me than Tom’s did. I feel sexy when Michael says it, not dirty and cheap.

  Michael turns his head to register Tom stood in front of me. “Who’s this?” he asks me.

  “Michael, this is Tom.” I don’t need to expand on who Tom is, Michael knows all about him.

  “Oh.” Michael’s easy manner is replaced by tension as he turns his full body towards Tom, placing me behind him. It’s like he is protecting me, and I would expect nothing less from him.

  “Hi,” Tom says as he holds his hand out to Michael. I can see the two of them sizing each other up, but Michael has no need to. He’s firmly in my heart, and firmly packing way more appeal tha
n Tom.

  “Hello,” Michael says, but he makes no attempt to shake Tom’s out-stretched hand.

  “Uh, shall we go and sit at our table,” Kim chimes in from behind me, and I have never been so glad of her interrupting something.

  “Yes, let’s go,” I say as I place my hand in Michael’s. My touch seems to bring Michael back to reality as he turns to look at me and smiles. Tom’s eyes drop to mine and Michael’s hands, and he looks momentarily stunned.

  “Oh, are you two…” Tom’s voice trails off, almost as if he wasn’t supposed to say that out loud.

  “Not that it is any of your business, but yes, I am with Michael now,” I say, feeling more confident than ever before.

  “Oh, right.” Tom runs one of his hands through his hair, a move that I used to think was cute but now evokes no reaction in me whatsoever.

  “Um, well, you’re a lucky guy,” Tom says to Michael.

  “Yes, I am,” Michael retorts. “And you’re the daft prick that let her go.” I hear Kim struggle to contain her laughter behind me. “But then again, if you hadn’t been a daft prick, I may never have had the chance to be with her, so maybe I should be thanking you for not being able to keep your dick in your pants.”

  I suck in a sharp breath and Tom looks like he has been sucker-punched. Kim lets out a giggle and Michael swiftly leads us in the direction of our table.

  We step around Tom and I don’t even feel the urge to turn back around to look at him. He has no impact on my life, or my feelings anymore.

  Michael doesn’t stop until we are at the back of the restaurant and at our table. He pulls out my chair and I sit down, replaying what he said to Tom in my head.

  Is it ridiculous that Michael’s words make me feel special, empowered and like I am the centre of his world? Because if it is, then so be it. The warmth fluttering through me has me feeling just a little bit smug. Not something I am used to feeling, but I’ll take it after how shitty Tom made me feel.

  However, my smug feeling lasts for another three seconds before Michael places his lips beside my ear and whispers, “I don’t like it when you flirt with other men, Lucy.”

  “What?” I say as I quickly turn my head to look at him.

  His hand comes to the side of my face, blocking us from Kim and Jeremy’s view as he whispers, “You, flirting with Tom, I don’t like it.”

  I let out quiet laughter before realising that Michael is totally serious.

  “I wasn’t flirting with him, Michael. I wouldn’t do that. Not now, not ever,” I reply adamantly.

  “He’s your ex, and I don’t like you talking to him,” Michael says, his eyes burning into mine.

  “Oh my God, Michael, I’m so sorry,” I say quickly and quietly, realising how awkward it must have been for him having to meet my ex, especially without any warning. Guilt smashes into me with a force that I never thought possible. The last thing I want is for Michael to feel insecure. I know how that feels, and it can destroy you.

  “I promise that I wasn’t flirting, and I promise that Tom means nothing to me,” I say before I place a kiss on his cheek. His hand moves to the nape of my neck and holds me in position, so that his head is now completely blocking me from Kim and Jeremy.

  “He better not, Lucy, because I don’t think I could handle the thought of losing you,” he says before placing his lips on mine, claiming me, showing me how much I mean to him.

  I have never in my life experienced the intensity of how Michael feels for me before, and it wraps around me like a security blanket; one that I so desperately need.

  I’m not worthless, and Michael is showing me that now. It might be a little over the top for some, but when you’ve had months of feeling vulnerable, you will take love and hold onto it, savour it, be consumed by it.

  “Put her down,” I hear Kim say before a giggle escapes her.

  Michael pulls his lips from mine, gives me a wink and releases his hold on me before sitting beside me and placing his hand on my knee.

  Kim and Jeremy are sat opposite us and Kim immediately comes to life.

  “Oh my God, did you see Tom’s face?” Kim asks me as she continues to laugh. “Talk about a deer caught in the headlights.”

  “I’m sorry about that,” Michael says, ever the charming gentleman. “I didn’t mean to be so blunt, and I hope that it doesn’t affect your opinion of me.”

  “Affect it? Hell, you have just gone way up in my books, pal,” Kim says.

  “Hear, hear,” Jeremy says as we all burst into laughter.

  Michael speaking to Tom like that has broken the ice, and I have a feeling that the rest of the night will unthaw anymore cold feelings towards him.

  Chapter Thirteen

  A beautiful bromance

  “Where have the guys gone again?” Kim asks me as we both relax in her lounge, a glass of wine in hand.

  “You really don’t take any notice of Jeremy when he tells you stuff, do you?” I reply playfully.

  “I do for the important stuff, like when he’s taking me to dinner, or when he’s going to shag me into a state of oblivion,” Kim replies, and I spit out the mouthful of wine that I had just taken.

  “Oh my God,” I say, holding my belly as it starts to hurt from laughing so much.

  “Say it like it is,” she replies, smiling mischievously.

  “I don’t think anyone could accuse you of sugar-coating your words.”

  “I wouldn’t want them to either,” she replies matter-of-factly. When I have wiped away my tears and regained my breath, I finally answer her question.

  “They were going to watch the dog racing and then go for a few drinks afterwards.”

  “Oh, yes, Jeremy mentioned some racing thing,” she says with a wave of her hand.

  “In fact, they should be back any moment now,” I announce as the front door opens and we hear the laughter of the two men.

  Jeremy comes into view first, his sky blue eyes glazed over indicating that he has had a little too much to drink, not to mention his blue shirt is no longer tucked in and his floppy blond hair is all in disarray.

  “Hey, girls,” he slurs as he stumbles over to Kim and leans down to give her a kiss. Unfortunately he loses his balance and plows straight into Kim, knocking her wine all over her.

  “Jeremy,” she screeches as she struggles to get him off of her.

  “Oh shit, sorry, babe, didn’t meant to.”

  “For fuck’s sake, man, how old are you?”

  “Old enough to know better, yada yada, I know the drill, but we had fun, so I couldn’t give a toss right now.”

  I laugh at their banter and then my eyes lock with Michael’s. He doesn’t look anywhere near as drunk as Jeremy, and there is definitely no mistaking the heat in his gaze.

  “Hey,” I say putting my wine glass down and standing up.

  I walk over to him and snake my arms around his waist. He leans down and places a kiss on my lips, allowing me to taste an essence of whisky on them. I am not a fan of whisky, but on his lips it’s not so bad.

  “Are you ready to go?” he asks me, and I sense that there is an urgency to get me out of here.

  “Oh, sure. Let me just go and get my coat,” I say as I move past him and out into the hallway.

  Kim is still shrieking at Jeremy to get off of her and I feel a little sorry for him for the hangover that he is going to wake up with tomorrow morning. I put my coat on and make my way back to the lounge.

  Michael has taken the liberty of picking up my handbag and is waiting for me to say my goodbyes.

  “Kim, I’ll give you a call tomorrow,” I say as she just sticks her hand in the air to say bye. She is definitely going to have fun trying to get Jeremy to bed as he seems to be half-asleep already.

  I take Michael’s hand in mine and lead him out of the house and out into the fresh air. It’s a little chilly and a shiver runs through me.

  “Come here,” Michael says as he nestles me into his side so that we can walk back to his place
. His arm comforts me and makes me feel safe.

  “Did you have fun tonight?” I ask him.

  “Yeah, it was okay.” He doesn’t sound very convincing.

  “Well, Jeremy certainly seemed to have enjoyed himself.”

  “Oh, he definitely did. Now there is a man who can’t handle his drink.”

  “Hmm. He’s going to feel so bad in the morning, especially once Kim has dealt with him.” I chuckle at the image that conjures in my mind. I have seen Jeremy come back in a state before, and I have witnessed the morning after. Kim will spend the morning playing loud music and singing at the top of her lungs whilst Jeremy whimpers for her to have more sympathy. Kim will tell him that he should know his limits and that it serves him right. Jeremy will then spend the rest of the day creeping around Kim before she finally gives in and they snuggle up and watch a film together.

  “I like Jeremy, but I still think that Kim is unsure about me.”

  “Nonsense. Kim does like you. You proved what I meant to you when you stood up to Tom at the restaurant.” I feel his body tense against mine and I know that it is because I mentioned Tom’s name. He feels uncomfortable when I mention him, but unfortunately, I can’t erase my past and Tom is a part of that.

  “Speaking of which, Tom was at the dog racing tonight.”

  “Oh, really?” Shit, I hope that doesn’t mean that Michael spoke to him.

  “Yeah. He came over and chatted to Jeremy for a bit.”

  “Well, Jeremy thinks that Tom is a wanker so there’s no chance of that becoming a regular thing.”

  “Hmm.” We walk in silence for a few minutes until Michael speaks again. “They seemed to be quite friendly.”

  “Probably because Jeremy was drunk.”

  Jeremy is one of those guys that doesn’t have a bad bone in his body when he is drunk. He will talk to anyone and is generally just up for a laugh.

  “I don’t like it, Luce. I don’t like Tom being able to reach your friends. The guy is an asshole, and he hurt you.” His tone is dangerous as he speaks, but I just put this down to him not liking my ex.

  “There’s no need to worry, Tom is irrelevant to my life.”