Losing Control (The Control Duet Book 1)

by Lindsey Powell

  “Uh uh, babe, you’re not getting out of telling me that easily. My stories can wait for now.” See what I mean? Cal is a hard man to hide from.

  “Well, to cut a long story short. Tom cheated on me with Carley, I found them in bed together. I moved out, stayed with Kim and then I met a guy called Michael who works at the same place as me. I moved in with him not long ago, but let’s just say that we are on rocky ground right now.” Rocky ground… That is the fucking understatement of the year.

  I can see Cal watching me, assessing my body language, and I am scared to death that he is going to see right through me, see the truth that I am desperate to hide.

  “Tom slept with Carley?”

  “Yep.”

  “You don’t still speak to her, do you?”

  “Hell no. She burned her bridges with me the minute that she got into my bed with Tom.”

  “Your bed?”

  “Oh yeah,” I say with a scoff. “Talk about being disrespected in the worst way possible.”

  “Shit, Luce, I’m sorry all of that happened. And I’m sorry that I wasn’t here for you.” Cal looks distraught that he missed one of the most painful parts of my life, but I don’t want him to feel bad. It wasn’t his fault, and I know now that it wasn’t mine.

  “Don’t be silly, you have no need to be sorry.” I give him a soft smile and his hand covers mine sending a warmth surging through me. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too.”

  “Ahhhhh! Cal!” I hear Kim shriek as she comes over and wraps her arms around him from behind, making both of us laugh.

  “Hey, Kimmie,” Cal says.

  “Bloody hell, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” she says, taking in his appearance. “Great tan, muscular arms, still got that cheeky smile and glint in your eye, good haircut, damn, I need to get me some sun.”

  I laugh harder at her assessment, but my laughter gets cut short as a pain shoots along my cheek. Cal notices my abrupt silence and the slight wince on my face.

  “You okay?” he asks, brow furrowed.

  “Oh yeah, I’m fine, I just––”

  “Fell over the other night and bashed her cheek,” Kim finishes for me.

  “Kim, you really need to stop doing that,” I scold her.

  “Stop doing what?”

  “Finishing my sentences for me. It’s really annoying.”

  She gives me a wink and sips her drink, taking a seat opposite me.

  “How did you fall?” Cal asks.

  “I blame her boyfriend,” Kim replies, once again answering for me. I glare at her and she rolls her eyes, hops off of the bar stool and gives us a wave as she returns to the dance floor.

  “Why would she blame your boyfriend, Lucy?” Cal looks concerned, and this is exactly what I was afraid of. Cal will lose his shit if he ever finds out that Michael hit me, and I don’t want to paint Michael in a bad light. He made a mistake, and it would be unfair of me to have Cal judging him before he has met him.

  I also don’t want Cal getting involved in my relationship. I don’t want Michael thinking that Cal and I share anything more than friendship.

  “We had an argument, I stormed out and went to Kim’s, but on the way to hers I fell and hit my cheek. It’s really no big deal, it just hurts a little if I smile too much,” I say, trying to make light of the situation, more to myself that anyone else.

  “Tell me about this Michael,” Cal says, his eyes boring into mine.

  Oh fuck. Here we go, Lucy, time to act out the best fucking performance of your life.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Going back

  I knock on the door and wait.

  The seconds tick by.

  The sound of footsteps walking to the door are as clear as day.

  The turn of the key.

  The opening of the door.

  The look on his face.

  My heart pumps wildly.

  Butterflies flutter in my stomach from nerves and from the sight of him.

  He did wrong, I know that.

  But I love him.

  I can’t switch it off.

  I need to give him another chance.

  I want this to work.

  I will not be a victim, and I will make that clear.

  I walk forwards, he stands still.

  I reach up, kiss his lips, enjoy the taste of him.

  “Hi.” I break the silence.

  He stands there gobsmacked.

  I hope he still wants me.

  I hope he still loves me.

  “You came back.” His words are quiet.

  “I did.”

  He scoops me up in his arms.

  I smile.

  I don’t want the smile to fade.

  I’m done with being hurt.

  I just want to be happy.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  All is quiet

  Monday morning has whizzed by, and it is nearly lunchtime. I have spent most of my morning trying to concentrate on work, but I keep thinking about last night.

  Michael and I reunited, and it was wonderful.

  Michael promised again and again that he would never hurt me, and I believe him. I could see how sorry he was. We made love, and then he held me in his arms all night long. I didn’t think that I could love him anymore, but last night made me realise that I can. I love him deeply, and I know that he feels the same about me.

  “Can we break for lunch now?” Tyler asks, jolting me out of my thoughts and I see that the clock says that it is just after one.

  “Sure.”

  “Great, I’m starving. See you in an hour.” Tyler grabs his coat from the back of his chair and exits the small project room that we have been holed up in all morning. Our deadline for our project is looming, but I am pleased with the progress we have made. I am hoping to blow our potential new client out of the water with our idea for their product.

  I gather some papers together and take them with me to the main office and back to my desk. I intend to work through lunch seeing as I have been less productive than usual this morning.

  Walking to my desk, my eyes drift across the room to where Michael sits, but he isn’t there. He must have gone out to get his lunch from the deli across the street, he loves their home-made slices of pizza.

  I sit at my desk and put the papers in front of me and am about to grab my sandwich from my desk drawer when I hear a familiar voice speak.

  “Fancy grabbing a bite to eat?” Cal says, a big smile on his face as he stops in front of my desk.

  Jesus, he looks good enough to eat. Dark denim jeans, a white T-Shirt with a blue zip-up jacket over it, and that glorious smile of his that has made me feel weak at the knees many times over the course of our friendship. Fuck. Reign it in, Lucy, no need to ogle your friend. And God forbid that Michael sees him, I haven’t even mentioned that my friend Cal has returned from the road trip of his life. I don’t even want to have that conversation with Michael right now, not when we’ve only just made up.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask Cal, trying to cover up how ridiculously flustered I feel.

  “Oh nice, make a guy feel welcome, Luce,” he answers, teasingly.

  “Sorry,” I reply with a chuckle. “I’m just surprised to see you here.”

  “Well, I was in town and thought that I would stop by on the off chance that you were free to come to lunch with me.” Cal used to stop by all the time before he went away. Kim and I would frequently have lunch with him.

  “I was planning on working through lunch.”

  “Seriously? A guy has been back in the country a few days and his closest friend is going to turn him down so that she can work?” I see the cheeky glint in his eye and I can’t help but dismiss my idea of working.

  “When you put it like that, how can I refuse?” When Cal is around it’s safe to say that all fucking reasoning goes out of my head. Michael will be pissed if he finds out, but then again, Cal and I are just friends, so really, he has nothing to wor
ry about. Yeah, okay, Luce, you keep telling yourself that. It’s not like you haven’t had feelings for Cal for-fucking-ever. I shake my head to rid myself of my thoughts. Lock it up in the box. Throw the fucking key away.

  “Exactly,” Cal says, smiling.

  I stand up, putting my jacket on and grabbing my bag from the back of my chair.

  “Where’s Kim?” he asks.

  “She’s got the week off,” I inform him.

  “So I get you all to myself?”

  “You sure do.”

  “Lucky me,” he replies, making me smile. I link my arm through his as he escorts me out of the office.

  “Usual place?” he says, and I nod at him. We are still so in sync even after all the time that he has been away.

  We walk to Harvey’s Café and find a table to sit at, by the window. I take my jacket off and hang it on the back of the chair whilst Cal looks over the menu.

  “Nothing changes here, does it?” he says as he sees that the menu is exactly the same as when he left.

  “Nope.”

  “It’s nice. I like that some things don’t change.” I don’t miss the hidden meaning behind his words. He is referring to the friendship that we share.

  “You talking about the food or something else?”

  “Both,” he replies, confirming what I already knew with a smile.

  The waitress comes over and asks if we are ready to order. I opt for a caramel latte and tuna melt sandwich. Cal orders a black coffee and the chicken salad with a bowl of fries, just as I knew that he would. The waitress bounces off, taking our menus with her and Cal and I engage in some light conversation.

  Our food and drinks arrive ten minutes later, and I take a bite of my sandwich, enjoying the sensations that it is eliciting on my taste buds. I haven’t been to this place in so long that I forgot just how good the food was.

  “So, have you and Michael figured things out?” Cal asks me as he takes a bite of his salad.

  “Yes. I went back last night, and everything is fine now.”

  “Do you want to talk about the argument you two had?”

  “Not really.” No way in hell do I want to discuss it. It’s done, over, finished.

  “Okay. When do I get to meet him?”

  “Jesus, Cal, you have only just got back. Do you not have anyone else that you want to see before you give my boyfriend the Spanish inquisition?” I say, injecting a little humour into the conversation. I need to tell Michael about Cal before any meeting happens. My heart speeds up at just the mere thought.

  “I’ve seen my family, and I met up with Joe and Fletch last night,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders. “Plus, you’re my favourite person, so I want to meet the guy that you’re keeping house with.”

  “You can meet him soon.”

  “How soon?”

  “Cal,” I say his name in a warning tone.

  “What?” He feigns ignorance, but I know that he is just looking out for me. He always has.

  “I love that you’re back home, but I need to tell Michael about you before I introduce you to him.”

  “He doesn’t know that we’re friends?” Cal looks a little put out as he asks this question, and I feel bad that I haven’t thought to bring him up in conversation before now.

  “Well, I’ve mentioned your name in passing,” I say pathetically.

  “He knows that we’re friends, right?”

  “Sure.” My voice is a little too high-pitched as I answer. I can feel his eyes on me as I look down and finish my sandwich, but I avoid his stare.

  Michael doesn’t know much about Cal because I haven’t told him. When I first started dating Michael, I mentioned that I had a friend who was travelling, but I didn’t know when he would be coming back home. Then time ran away with me and Cal didn’t get mentioned again.

  As I realise this, I see what a shitty thing that is to do. Cal is an important part of my life, and I should have made that clear to Michael, but with Cal gone, I didn’t feel the need to explain.

  “You are happy, aren’t you?” Cal asks me, interrupting my thoughts.

  “Yes.” I am happy, but that feeling of dread firmly settles in the pit of my stomach at the thought of speaking to Michael. I am just hoping that, now that we are back on track, he takes the news well.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Unexpected introductions

  “Let me walk you up,” Cal offers as we come to a stop outside of the office building that I work in.

  “There’s no need, honestly.”

  “I know there is no need, I want to.”

  “God, were you always this insistent before you went away?” I remark, smiling.

  “Not quite as bad but being away makes you re-evaluate life. Makes you appreciate things and people more.” His answer is a little more serious than I expected.

  “Okay then.”

  “After you,” he says as he opens the door and gestures for me to walk in. I roll my eyes, but I can’t help the warm feeling within me.

  I climb the stairs, Cal trailing behind me, and when I enter the main office I immediately flick my eyes to Michael’s desk. He’s still not there and I breathe a sigh of relief. I walk to my desk and place my bag down before turning back to look at Cal.

  “Thanks for lunch, Cal.”

  “No problem. You can buy the next one,” he says with a wink.

  “Sure thing.”

  Cal leans in to give me a hug and I accept his embrace. I am smiling, but the smile is soon wiped from my face when I see the office door open, revealing that Michael has just walked in. I quickly move back and let my arms flop down to my sides.

  “Lucy?” Cal asks me questioningly, clearly wondering why my manner has changed in the space of a few seconds. I don’t respond. I just watch as Michael makes his way towards us.

  Cal notices my attention is elsewhere and he turns his head to see that Michael has come to a stop behind him. I watch as the two men size each other up, and I inwardly groan. I didn’t want Michael to find out about Cal this way. I would hate to walk in and see him hugging some other woman.

  “Who’s this?” Michael asks, addressing his question to me, but keeping his gaze on Cal.

  “I’m Cal, and you must be Michael.” Cal holds his hand out for Michael to shake, but I can tell that Michael would rather be sticking pins in his eyes than accepting a handshake from a guy that he doesn’t know. Begrudgingly, Michael takes Cal’s hand, but he lets go as soon as he possibly can.

  “And who is Cal exactly?” Michael asks, letting his gaze wander over to me. I gulp down the lump that has appeared in my throat and answer the question so as not to provoke any suspicion from either man.

  “Cal is an old friend who recently returned from travelling.”

  “I see.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Cal says.

  “I wish that I could say the same, but Lucy has never mentioned you before.” I can feel both sets of eyes on me, and I wish that the ground would swallow me up.

  “I did, Michael, but it was when we first started dating.” I feel hot. Suffocated.

  “Well, that was a long time ago.”

  “How about we all go for drinks on Friday night and then we can get to know each other?” Cal suggests.

  I freeze in position, waiting to see what Michael’s response will be. A few seconds tick by before he answers. “Okay.”

  “Great, I’ll give you a call, Luce, and we can arrange where to go and what time to meet,” Cal says before leaning in and placing a kiss on my cheek. “Speak soon.”

  Cal says bye to Michael and then walks out of the office, the door closing behind him sounding louder than ever before.

  “So, I guess that we have some things to talk about when we get home,” Michael says before he walks away and leaves me with an even bigger sense of dread.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Walking on eggshells

  Michael had to practically drag me away from my desk this evenin
g. I didn’t want to go home. I had been dreading it all afternoon. Now I am here, sat on the sofa, waiting for the argument to erupt. Michael is pouring us both a glass of wine, and he is taking his sweet time about it. I don’t know whether it just seems like he is going slow, or whether he is purposely making me sweat just a little bit more. If it is the latter, then it is working.

  Nerves radiate through me.

  My legs are jigging up and down, and my fingers are picking at imaginary thread on my skirt.

  Michael puts the wine back in the fridge and makes his way over to me. Each step has me wanting to stand up and get the hell out of here. I don’t want a confrontation. I don’t want a repeat of the other night, and I also don’t want him to see just how scared I am of his reaction.

  Be strong, Lucy.

  He won’t hurt you again.

  He promised that he wouldn’t.

  No matter how many times I repeat this to myself, I still jump slightly when Michael sits beside me, passes me my glass, and places his hand on my knee.

  “You don’t need to be so nervous,” he says as he sips his wine and then places the glass on the coffee table. I swig the wine, gulping down as much as I can to settle my nerves.

  This isn’t normal, Lucy.

  No one should be made to feel this way.

  I will my mind to shut up.

  “Now, let’s have that chat, shall we?” he says with a hint of annoyance in his tone.

  “I didn’t know that Cal was going to turn up, I swear.” My words come out rushed. I can’t get them out quick enough.

  “It’s okay, you can’t help someone coming to see you at work.” I look at him, feeling a little confused. I thought that he would have been more than pissed off by now, but he appears so calm and collected, the complete opposite to me. “Why don’t you tell me about how long you have known him, and how you became friends.”

  Okay. He just wants an explanation. That I can do.

  “We met when we were at high school together. Cal, Kim, Jeremy and I were inseparable, and we have been friends ever since. Cal went travelling eighteen months ago, and no one had any idea when he would be back.”