Our Kind of Love

by Shane Morgan

  Finally he swallows hard and walks back into the kitchen.

  “Why didn’t you say something?” Mom chimes. She moves closer to me.

  “I didn’t want you to feel bad about inviting Nate and his parents, and you guys looked so happy today. I didn’t want to ruin it.”

  “Oh, honey,” she rubs my arm.

  “So, you broke up with Nate for Micah?” Dad clarifies.

  “Yes and no.”

  “Yes and no?” Mom repeats.

  “Well, I’ve been trying to make it work with Nate but our relationship just didn’t feel right. Then when Micah came along,” I pause and look over at him. He smiles back at me. “We started spending time together and I developed feelings for him I’d never felt for anyone before. I’m happier with him. I laugh more. I feel so relaxed and…safe.”

  I walk through everyone and inch closer to Micah, placing my arm around his lower back. “He’s the guy I want to be with. Not Nate.”

  “But you two barely know each other,” Dad retorts.

  I shrug. “I know enough.”

  “Micah,” Mom cuts in. “I thought you were gonna leave Newport after this summer?”

  He shakes his head. “No ma’am.” Then he looks down at me and grins. “I have a reason to stay.”

  “Okay…what about…that…did you…” She stops herself from finishing.

  I glance up at Micah. His eyes are pleading as he gazes at her. And there’s a combination of worry and fear engraved on his face.

  “What Mom?” I prod, looking back at her.

  She waves me off. “Nothing.”

  Silence engulfs the room until Dad breaks in, “Fireworks. Let’s get the show on the road.”

  Everyone starts out, leaving me and Micah with Dad back in the kitchen. He gives us a glance over then says, “Just don’t move too fast.”

  “We won’t,” I tell him. He might have a break down if he knew just how much our relationship has progressed in the last forty-eight hours. Then again, that’s probably why he gave me that jumbled lecture on sex earlier.

  Dad turns to go outside but then stops by the kitchen door, looking sideways at us. “I have to say that I’ve noticed a change in you, honey.” Eyeing Micah, he adds, “Don’t make her cry, or you’ll have me to deal with.”

  “Yes—I mean, no sir. I won’t.”

  I stifle my laugh; it’s funny seeing Micah so flabbergasted and afraid of my dad, who’s like a big teddy bear to me.

  He finally steps outside, leaving us alone. Micah kisses me softly before we join everyone out on the sand, watching with excitement as Dad fills the evening sky with a blast of dazzling red, white and blue displays.

  He continues the spectacle as night falls, and Claudia comes back in time for the grand finale. She looks happier than ever. I make a mental note to ask her about it later.

  I snuggle up to Micah on a blanket in the sand. Sitting close to him makes me feel safe. I don’t hear Mary’s cries in the ocean or see her face. And for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel as guilty for her death.

  Twenty-nine

  Micah

  I’VE COME ACROSS people with a fear of the ocean, but this isn’t the same thing. What’s holding Reign back isn’t a phobia, it goes deeper. She’s inside a mental prison where she sees her sister drowning and didn’t do anything to save her. For Reign, stepping foot into the ocean is like facing Mary, and she’s still afraid of that.

  We’ve been at it since the day after Fourth of July when she believed she could handle it, now almost two weeks later and still I can’t get Reign to step any further than the shore. Each time she makes an attempt, water touches her feet and she turns and scurries back up the sand.

  “I thought you said she was gone. What was that talk about the weekend at your house?” I ask her.

  She brings her knees up to her chest and slouch over them. “I don’t know, a momentary calm,” she snorts.

  I reach my hand down to her. “Let’s try again. This time I’ll hold your hand the entire time.”

  Reign shakes her head. “It’s useless. I’ve already tried with Claudia. It doesn’t matter if I’m starting to forgive myself. I’ll always see Mary’s face.”

  “What does she look like?” I ask, sitting down beside her.

  She spins her head and blinks in her confusion. “What do you mean?”

  “The expression on Mary’s face,” I explain, “is she angry, scared, is she screaming at you?”

  “She’s not doing anything, at least, not anymore. Not since you. These days she’s just looking at me, like she’s waiting.”

  “Then go to her,” I say. “She just wants you to let it go completely, not just the blame but the sadness over her death, and whatever else is eating at you.”

  A smile sneaks its way across her lips. “Gosh, how are you not calling me crazy right now? How are you still with me knowing all this?”

  I lean over and brush her face. Her whole body trembles. “That’s because I get you.”

  She kisses me before I have the chance, pushing me down into the sand to straddle me.

  “Whoa, look who’s getting kinky in public.” I laugh and bring my hands down to her butt, cupping them.

  She wiggles out of my grasp and hops up, dusting sand off her shorts and arms.

  I spring to my feet and ask, “Wanna try again?”

  A slight frown appears as she glances out at sea. After a beat, she looks at me again. “No, let’s head back. It’s almost time for work.”

  Staring down my nose at her, I raise an eyebrow. “I meant to toss me to the ground and straddle me one more time.” Licking my lips, I eye her from head to toe and add in a deeper more flirty voice, “Mmm…I don’t mind a good wrestle in the sand.”

  Reign scoffs and folds her arms. “Is that so? Now who’s kinky?”

  “Hey, you know me? I like excitement.”

  “So it seems.”

  Laughing, she rolls her eyes and nudges over her shoulder. “Let’s get out of here.”

  I drape my arm around her waist as we head for her car.

  “So, I’m having a dinner for my birthday next weekend. It’s only gonna be my parents, Claudia, Mrs. Nunez, and the guys from the restaurant. You’re coming too, right?”

  “Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I tell her. “What would you like, because I’m terrible at buying gifts?”

  She pouts and wobbles her head. Her ponytail dances in her back. “Uh-huh, you have to surprise me. I’m sure whatever you get I’ll appreciate.”

  “Riiight,” I exhale. “Girls always say that then complain that guys buy them crap. I won’t risk it. I’ll just take Claudia with me. She’ll know what to get you.”

  When we reach her car, my cellphone rings. I peer at the screen. It’s Greg again. I haven’t told him my decision yet.

  “Micah?” Reign notices I’m not getting in the car. “What’s wrong?” she asks when my smile fades.

  I tuck my phone back inside my pocket and hop on the passenger seat, closing the door. She climbs in and shuts her door, waiting for me to tell her what’s going on.

  My phone starts to vibrate again but I ignore it. That only intensifies her curiosity.

  “Who’s calling you? I’m kind of surprised; I never hear your phone ring.”

  Looking over at her, I lift a shaky hand and stroke her cheek. I’ve never been so scared of losing someone. But she deserves to know. She’s been nothing but honest with me so I owe her the same.

  “That was Greg. I probably have to go back to Haxtun soon,” I tell her.

  Her eyes narrow and she blurts out all at once, “Who’s Greg? Why do you have to go back? I thought you were gonna stay in Newport?”

  “It’s not like I won’t come back. I just have to take care of something.”

  “What?”

  I drop my hand from her face as I mentally scold myself for hiding it all this time.

  “Who’s Greg? Micah?” she urges me. />
  It’s now. Damn it! Tell her now. “I was in juvie for eight months.”

  Reign stares at me open-mouthed. “Oh…okay. Why were you there?”

  The fearful look in her eyes scares me, because she’s already piecing parts together to try and decipher what I could have done.

  My heart races and my palms begin to sweat as I relive that night in my head, so that I can tell her everything.

  “First off, my real name’s Mitchel Stephens. Micah’s my grandfather’s name and Grams used to call me little Micah when I was growing up ‘cause I looked so much like him. Delaney is her maiden name.”

  She slumps forward and releases a razor-sharp breath. Her eyes expand as she utters, “You…lied? I don’t understand. Why did you—”

  “Because I wanted a new start, and I didn’t want anyone finding out about what Mitchel Stephens did in Haxtun. I didn’t want it following me everywhere.”

  She flares her hands, asking in a biting tone, “What did you do in Haxtun?”

  “I guess the only thing to hope for now is that you won’t be mad at me for this, though, you’re already mad about me lying.”

  She turns her head slowly and slit her eyes away from me, looking down at her fingers. “Just tell me the truth,” she whispers.

  After a brief pause, I begin, “It was exactly a month after my seventeenth birthday. That was the day my dad had taken off for good and I was pissed at the world. I wouldn’t even talk to Grams. Jason came by the house that evening, said there was a party little out of town.”

  “Who’s Jason?” she asks, bringing her eyes back to meet mine.

  I collapse my head against the headrest and stare out the windshield at the ocean. “A friend I had. He wanted me to snap out of it, so I decided to go to the party. We were drinking; having a good time…I was just trying to forget about everything. Jason was really wasted by the time we left the party. I didn’t drink as much as he did, but I was still a little out of it.”

  “We were driving back to town in his truck, and then all of a sudden, Jason wanted to stop by our high school. He grabbed his bat from behind his seat; he had a bottle of vodka and he wouldn’t let me take it. We jumped the fence to the football field and snuck in the gymnasium. I was just following along because…I didn’t know what he was going to do and I didn’t want to leave him by himself…” I trail off for a moment.

  “Because he’s your friend,” Reign says.

  “Was,” I correct, carrying my gaze to her. “He was my friend.”

  She urges me to go on, “So what happened?”

  “Jason walked around to where the lockers were. He started hitting everything and laughing. He was going on about how good he was…how he was better than the other players on the baseball team. When we reached the glass display shelf where all the trophies were, he started swinging the bat like crazy; the glass shattered to pieces. His hands even got splinters in them and there was blood running down his arms. But he didn’t even budge. He hit the trophies, breaking a couple of them. I tried to stop him, but he’d push me off every time…now and then he’d stop to drink more, and of course, to laugh. He loved to laugh. Everything was always a joke to him. Then he’d start to swing his bat again.”

  “I kept trying to calm him down. It was useless. Everything was in pieces. I knew we were in serious trouble so the only thing left to do was get out of there. That’s when Lewis Harrison showed up.”

  “Who’s that?”

  “School security guard,” I reply. “He lived close by too, so I guess he heard the noise and decided to check it out himself. Lewis saw my face first, and then he said my name. The look he gave me…He was so disappointed because he knew Grams…I guess he never expected me to be involved in vandalism. Jason on the other hand, he already had a rap sheet for bad behavior.”

  I stop talking and clench my fist, because it’s always hard to talk about, much less remember what happened next.

  “Keep going,” she prods. “Tell me everything.”

  “I…I was angry because of the way he stared at me, it was the same look my dad gave me, like I was nothing. Lewis pointed at me, said he was gonna call the cops and both of us were going to jail. I was still pissed from his belittling glare so I ran after him. I shoved him hard into the lockers.”

  Reign exhales hard then covers her mouth with one hand. I look away from her eyes so I can keep talking, even though my voice is cracking up.

  “Lewis lost his balance and fell to the floor, he’d hurt his back. I was still pissed at him. I wasn’t thinking straight. I kicked him in the stomach.”

  “Oh no…” she breathes.

  “Three times,” I mutter, looking at my clenched fists. “Jason rushed over to us. He saw Lewis on the floor and he…laughed. ‘Hit him again’ he said. I told him no, let’s just get out of here. I was snapping back to my senses then.”

  “I turned to leave, that’s when Jason raised the bat. By the time I could reach for it, he’d already brought it down on Lewis’ head.”

  I stop talking as my throat starts to burn. I’m having a hard time holding back my tears. Clearing the tightness in my throat, I continue, “Jason panicked…when he realized what he’d done. He yanked on my shirt to take off with him back to his truck. I pulled away, deciding to stay with Lewis instead.”

  “Blood was coming from his head. Even though he was still breathing, he couldn’t keep his eyes open and he didn’t move. I called the cops. Jason was already gone by the time they showed up. They saw the damage and Lewis’ injuries. They arrested me. I deserved it because I hit him first. I probably deserve the same sentence as Jason.”

  “You don’t deserve the same punishment, you tried to stop him.”

  I flinch when Reign touches my arm. I didn’t expect her to even want to breathe the same air much less still want to comfort me. “Micah, you were drinking, you were upset about your dad—”

  “That’s no excuse for hitting Lewis,” I tell her, choking back on tears. “Because of what? So I could show him how tough I was? How I didn’t need anybody looking down on me? That I’m good enough—”

  “You are good enough, Micah. And you didn’t hit him with a baseball bat. Jason did. He ran and you stayed.”

  I shake my head and move her hand away. “It doesn’t matter; everyone said I should have gotten the same sentence as Jason. He went to jail for putting Lewis in a coma and I went to juvie for eight months. God!”

  I aggressively wipe my face with the palm of my hand. “Grams…she was so ashamed of me. You know, people in town, they made me feel like…like I was the biggest loser in Haxtun. When I went away, a bunch of them kept calling her house. They tormented her because of what happened, said I was a screw-up just like my alcoholic dad. She got worse while I was in juvie for doing something stupid and then she died…alone, disappointed in me.”

  I can’t fight it anymore. Tears start to stream down my face as I tell her the one thing that hurts me more than anything else. “I feel like I broke her heart so much, it killed her.”

  “No, Micah.” Reign pulls me into her arms and hugs me tighter than she’s ever held me before. “It’s not your fault. We all make mistakes and I know your grandmother loved you. It’s like what you told me, that we have to learn to cope and move on. I’m sure she’d want you to.”

  I ease out of her embrace. “That’s just it, Lewis Harrison is out of his coma and he wants to see me. But I feel like such a coward, I don’t think I can face him. I don’t think I can go back there, Reign.”

  She lingers a moment, as if she’s seriously considering her next words. Then she wipes my cheek and tells me, “You have to. You can apologize face to face for what happened.”

  Inhaling deeply, I stifle back the sobs and toughen up, only to ask her, “Can you come with me?”

  “What?” She brushes her loose strand behind her ear. “You want me to go to Haxtun with you?”

  I bob my head. “I don’t think I can do this without you. You have
no idea how much strength you give me, baby.”

  “Micah—Mitchel—”

  “Micah,” I tell her, reaching for her hand. “Just call me Micah. We can go there for a weekend, that’s all. I just…I really need you with me.”

  Reign slips her hand out from under mine. Her hazel eyes penetrate my face; a mixture of sympathy and anger dwelling in them.

  Then I consider the fact that not only did I lie about my name, I kept a good chunk of myself from her when she’s shared something deep with me. How selfish of me to ask her to come back to my hometown and share my burden.

  I start to tell her, “You don’t—”

  She cuts me off, “Let me think about it. I need to soak this all in.”

  “Okay,” I say lowly. “Thank you…for not freaking out as much as I thought you would. I should have told you from the beginning, when we started to get closer.”

  “You should have,” she says, “Instead of allowing this to continue eating away at your heart, dumbass.”

  I can’t help but smile, appreciative of the fact that I’ve met such a wonderful girl. Maybe I can find the strength to face what I’m running from after all.

  Thirty

  Reign

  “WOW…” Claudia releases a surge of air as she sits down with her back turned to her antique-looking dresser, resting her chin on the back of the chair. “That’s quite a story he told you. So his name isn’t even Micah?” she confirms, her pitch increasing on his name.

  I lean against the wall with my legs outstretched on her bed, picking at the pillowcase. After Micah’s confession, we didn’t even have breakfast before work, and I didn’t talk to him at all while at the restaurant. Throughout the day, I kept replaying what he told me and him asking me to return to Haxtun with him to face Lewis Harrison.

  When I reached home, I treaded over to Claudia’s house, telling her everything the second I stepped into her room. It’s approaching midnight now and I still have no idea what to do.