Transgalactic Antics

by J. J. Green

  At the very last second, just inside the threshold, she was released. She fell to the base floor, pulled down by the weight of the wetsuit and its contents, but the contents cushioned her fall well. That was the least of her concerns. Her back tickled as the trainee squashpump, clad in a scrap of Unity uniform, slid up her back and out the neck of her suit. She had left her hair untied to give it as much cover as she could, but she dared not reach round to help it nor give any other indication of its presence to the placktoids awaiting her. Would the squashpump make it out in time? She couldn’t feel it anymore. It must have been glided down the outside of her wetsuit. Behind her, the doors slid closed. Her heart thumping, she prayed the slug-like alien hadn’t been caught between them.

  “Stay where you are,” said a large placktoid that resembled a staple remover. She had always hated their metal teeth. “Open your facial orifice.”

  Carrie assumed it meant her mouth. She opened wide. A light beamed into her mouth from a biro-like placktoid that rested on its nib nearby.

  “DNA match confirmed. This is the human named Carrie Hatchett,” said the biro.

  DNA? How did the placktoids know her DNA? She had spent some time aboard their ship, imprisoned in a cell with Dave, but the ship had crashed into the oootoon ocean. Unless the placktoids who escaped had taken a sample of her genetic code with them? They were even more vengeful and devious than she’d thought. But on the other hand it was a good sign. If they were checking her DNA to identify her, perhaps they weren’t relying on identifying her through appearance, which was vastly different from normal.

  Glancing down at her respirator indicator, her chest tightened. The needle had left the centre and was working its way to the right. Had the squashpump made it outside? Was it on its way to complete its task? Would it manage to do it in time before her oxygen ran out?

  “Locomote through here,” said the staple remover. It moved to a metallic archway.

  “You mean swim?” asked Carrie. She moved towards the arch. “What is this thing?”

  “Do as directed.”

  “It’s a weapon scanner, right?”

  “Do as directed or you will be immediately destroyed.”

  “I’m moving, I’m moving,” said Carrie, increasing her speed, wobbling as she went. She certainly had no reason to delay. She had no time to lose. But if this was a weapon scanner, and she had every reason to believe it was, now was the crunch time.

  She closed her eyes and passed beneath the arch, her heartbeat resounding in her ears. When she came out the other side she stopped, hardly daring to breathe. Opening her eyes, she saw the placktoids hadn’t moved. No alarm seemed to have gone off. The plan had worked, so far.

  Chapter Twenty-Four – Crunch Time

  The commander at the placktoid base was every bit as terrifying as the one Carrie had helped send to indefinite confinement on Oootoon. Its steel maw faced her, a bank of knife-like teeth. Behind the maw lay the long, rectangular box section of the ‘shredder’, though she doubted it held the remains of out-of-date or confidential office documents. Along the sides were the caterpillar treads she vividly remembered churning when she was chased aboard the placktoid ship. Particularly sharp in her mind was dreadful wrenching, grinding sound of the commander’s engine at full throttle.

  It was the size of the thing that really made her heart quail. Had she underestimated the magnitude of the first one she had seen? She could hardly believe it. She’d heard the mind exaggerated when it came to objects of deepest fear, not underestimated them. If this new commander really was substantially larger, she might be in trouble. There might not be enough—

  “Carrie Hatchett,” the commander’s deep bass voice boomed. “You have been tried by the Court of the New Social Order and found guilty of treason and false imprisonment. Your sentence is—”

  “Wait, what? What’s the New Social Order? I’ve never heard of it. The Unity and Transgalactic Council don’t recognise this body.” Clearly, the placktoid commander wasn’t going to hang around before administering her punishment. What happened to the long speeches given by the baddies that allowed the hero time to escape? Hadn’t it watched Earth TV? She had to stall it, to delay the discharge of her sentence, for obvious reasons, but also to give the squashpump time to do its work.

  “The New Social Order is the legitimate galactic government, soon to become historical fact. Your collusion with the oootoon has been thoroughly witnessed, recorded and documented. There is no doubt you are responsible for the illegal apprehension and confinement of placktoid commander 783. Your sentence is—”

  “No, that’s wrong. There is no galactic government. The Unity and Council work in partnership to supervise and administrate galactic affairs. Anyway, what do you mean, soon to become historical fact? It’s either historical fact or it isn’t.” She was stalling, of course, but her curiosity was also piqued and the commander’s words pierced the numbing terror that threatened to overwhelm her. “Isn’t it?” Inside her helmet, sweat trickled down her face, not only due to the padding in her wetsuit. Stay calm, Carrie. One step at a time.

  “The Unity and Transgalactic Council have also contravened the tenets of the New Social Order, and they shall be dealt with in due course.”

  “Ha, you plan to take on the Unity? You’ll never do it. They have the most advanced technology there is; the very best that every civilisation has to offer. You think the placktoids alone can beat the might of the entire galaxy?” Carrie wondered if she’d heard that line in a movie once. She shook her head. Her terror was making her mind wander. She needed to concentrate, now most of all. What was the squashpump up to? Why was it taking so long?

  “Only the placktoids have the right and the might to lead the galaxy to its supreme manifestation and out into the universe. But that magnificent future is shortly to become no concern of yours, Carrie Hatchett. You are sentenced to...”

  Carrie grimaced and took a step back. If she acted now, she might have a tiny chance at saving herself, but for the plan to work she had to wait. Glancing to right and left, she saw there were no other placktoids in the room. Presumably the commander was planning on carrying out her sentence itself. But why wasn’t it saying anything?

  “No. That cannot be,” said the commander. “How? Recapture them at once.” Carrie’s heart leapt. The commander was clearly responding to an electronic communication from another placktoid, but in its confusion it was also speaking to her. Its words were all she needed. The squashpump had made it. It had climbed the placktoid base and reached the net holding the marsoliie. Applying a magnetic field neutraliser, it had opened the lock, releasing the net and setting the marsoliie free.

  Finally, it was her turn to act. She ran toward the mechanical alien and tore down the zip on Audrey’s massive wetsuit. The oootoon confined within spilled out over the floor and beneath the commander’s steel teeth in a yellow tide. The placktoid commander took a second too long to recognise it and realise what was happening. Its caterpillar treads started up and it sped backwards, away from it nemesis. But it was too late. A tendril of oootoon had reached it, and the rest soon flowed in; into its treads, its engine and other inner workings, where it began to solidify. The commander started forward, apparently trying to attack Carrie with its last free movement. But the oootoon worked too fast. The placktoid jerked to a halt. It lurched back, and forward again before it froze, immobilised by the oootoon.

  “Yay, we did it. We’ve got it now. Hold tight, hold tight, don’t let go. Don’t let go of what? Oh dear, someone isn’t paying attention. Just stay still, we’ll explain later. All right.”

  Carrie hoped the oootoon could also prevent the commander from communicating with the rest of the placktoids, but she hoped in vain. Its mechanical subordinates poured into the room. Darting around the side of the immobile shredder for protection, Carrie pulled two of the new weapons from her swimsuit. Thank goodness the placktoids’ scanner had been unable to penetrate the oootoon and find them. She leaned out
, a weapon in each hand, and concentrated with all her might to fire them. She scored two hits. There were so many placktoids it was difficult to miss. True to their promise the high-energy beams sliced through the mechanical aliens, searing their innards. As their comrades fell in pieces the remaining placktoids hesitated, seemingly surprised and dismayed by the carnage Carrie had caused.

  Hope lifted her spirits. The placktoids were not firing at her. Presumably they didn’t want to risk hurting their beloved commander. If she could just hold them off long enough. Now the marsoliie were free, the placktoids had no hostage protection. The Unity ship must be on its way. Sure enough, as the realisation formed in Carrie’s mind, an explosion hit the base and rocked it. The Unity had arrived. Placktoids were sent toppling to the floor.

  Taking advantage of their plight, Carrie leaned out and fired again, wielding yet more damage to the upended placktoids. But then their confused behaviour changed, and they rose as one. Carrie guessed that, unheard by her, the commander was communicating with his troops, rallying them to attack. They turned together and advanced towards her position.

  Another explosion rocked the base, tumbling her through the water and knocking both weapons from her hands. Her ears rang with the boom that resounded. She scrambled for the weapons and managed to grab one as she sighted a placktoid zooming towards her. She cut it down with a burst of fire, but her hope plummeted. They were on both sides of the shredder now, surrounding her.

  “Hurry, please hurry,” she murmured. A placktoid appeared in front of her. She fired and whirled around just in time to destroy another that approached her from behind. Where were the Unity troops? Surely they must have got into the base by now? Unless they thought she would never make it. Unless they had given up on her and were just going to destroy the base.

  Carrie swallowed her fear and dived for the second weapon. She glided through the water, grabbed it, turned onto her back and fired with both hands simultaneously, hitting two placktoids square in the middle. One fell apart and stopped moving, but the other continued to advance, even though its top half lay twitching on the floor behind it. Carrie fired again, searing a hole through it, but still the placktoid approached, her hit only slowing it down.

  Sensing movement behind, she whirled round to mow down three mechanical aliens that were nearly upon her. A metal arm grabbed her. The wounded placktoid had reached her. She spun and kicked out at it, propelling it against the commander’s side. It rebounded and flew at her head. She ducked. The placktoid hit the wall behind her, denting the metal. A watery clunk echoed through Carrie’s helmet. Still the placktoid moved. As it advanced again, Carrie leapt to meet it. She reached inside it as deep as her arm would go, grabbed a handful of wires, and yanked. As the wires came free, finally, the placktoid stopped.

  But it wasn’t enough. More of the mechanical aliens were coming up, and behind them, still more. It was no good. She would never get them all. She slumped against the wall, a weapon in either hand. Her vision was blurry, and she felt dizzy and faint.

  Was this it, then? Was this how she was going to die? Ah well, at least the marsoliie were safe. It was a shame she didn’t get to tell Gavin what the placktoid commander had said. But never mind, they would probably figure it out soon enough.

  The placktoids were nearly upon her. Her eyes slowly closed. The last thing she saw was her respirator indicator needle. It was on the far right. She was out of air.

  Chapter Twenty-Five – Surprise Awakening

  Hearing was the first of Carrie’s senses to return. Her ears were ringing. She also heard bubbles and swishes. She was still underwater. She forced her eyes open. Above was a ceiling—the ceiling of the placktoid base. She hadn’t moved from where she had fallen. Yet she was still alive. The placktoids she had last seen moving in hadn’t killed her. She drew in a deep breath. Sweet air filled her lungs, sending energy coursing through her. Oxygen. Someone had replaced her respirator tablet. Probably the same someone whose arms she felt about her, supporting her shoulders and head.

  Rapid communications sounded through her helmet radio. Orders and spurts of information. She was too dazed. She couldn’t understand what they were talking about.

  She blinked and squinted, forcing her eyes to focus. Who was holding her? The person was out of her immediate view. Was it Dave? Had he come to find her in the wreckage of the placktoid base? She twisted her head to see the person’s face, but all she saw was the opaque visor of a Unity soldier. Her heart sank. She was relieved to be alive, but she felt a burning need for a familiar face.

  “Hatchett’s coming round,” called a voice.

  It was a woman’s voice. It seemed to come from the soldier holding her. Carrie recognised the voice. After a few moments, she made the connection. “B—Belinda?”

  The helmeted figure nodded.

  “You...” Carrie struggled out of the half-dandrobian’s grasp, and in her weakened state began to float away. She steadied herself against the wall. “You saved me?”

  Belinda shrugged. “I suppose you could say that. We were all searching the base for you, trying to locate you before the decision was made to blow the place sky high. We only had a couple of minutes left before we had to give up the search because we knew your respirator tablet would be exhausted. I saw the placktoid wreckage spilling from the door and figured only you could have created it. As soon as I saw the commander I knew I had the right place. Called in my buddies and saw you here behind him. We put an end to the placktoids you hadn’t managed to polish off. Just in time, it seems.”

  Carrie surveyed the wreckage that lay before her, the remains of the placktoid commander. The Unity soldiers had taken no chances in destroying the mechanical alien. It was unrecognisable. If she hadn’t seen it before the soldiers started work, she wouldn’t have been able to guess what it used to be. The Unity did not mess around. Floating through the door on their way out were long ribbon strands of oootoon. She would speak to it later to thank it for doing a brilliant job.

  She tried to stand, but dizziness overcame her.

  “Rest a while, Hatchett,” said Belinda. “You were out cold when I found you. I don’t know how long you went without oxygen. Your tablet was nothing but powder when I replaced it.”

  A chill settled on Carrie. She had come so close to death. If Belinda hadn’t found her... “But, what are you doing here? How come you aren’t back on the Council ship? Have you rejoined the Unity?”

  Belinda shook her helmeted head. “I asked to take part in the attack and they let me, for old times’ sake.”

  “The attack.” Carrie recalled the explosions she’d felt inside the base. “What happened?”

  “The second the marsoliie were out of danger, the gunship started firing. The return fire was potent, and the ship sustained significant damage. If it weren’t for the fact that we fired first, we might not have beaten them, but we managed to take out their main defenses.

  “Our fighter ships moved in, too, and got most of the placktoids that streamed out of the base. There weren’t many. Once they were down, us foot soldiers advanced into the base to find you, like I said. But apart from the commander and the other placktoids in here, the base was almost entirely deserted.”

  “But I saw lots when I came in,” said Carrie. “Are you sure they checked the whole base?”

  Belinda nodded. “It looks like most of them retreated through a gateway as soon as they knew the fight was lost and their commander was trapped by oootoon.”

  “They left through a transgalactic gateway again.” Carrie frowned. The placktoids had returned to their hideout, wherever that was. Thinking back to her short conversation with the commander, she had a suspicion his odd comments might hold the clue as to where that hideout was. If she was right, she needed to speak to Gavin and the other Managers. “I’m feeling better, Belinda. I think I can swim back now. I’m getting pretty chilly, too.” Audrey’s deflated wetsuit sagged around her, its zip open where she had released the oootoon. She strug
gled out of it. Wearing only her swimsuit, she shivered in the cool water. “I need to get back to the Council ship.”

  “Okay, I’ll come with you.” Carrie and the half-dandrobian set off through the placktoid base. As they approached the exit, Belinda said, “I heard you were terrible during target practice. No one held out much hope for you once the commander realised the game was up. But I saw you put paid to a fair few placktoids before your respirator tablet gave out. Well done.”

  “Thanks,” said Carrie. She thought she could get used to this new, friendly Belinda. “You know, I found my aim improved considerably when I thought I was about to die.”

  “Hmm...that’s often the case, or if it isn’t, you don’t get to hear about it.”

  ***

  Outside the base, Carrie saw with grim satisfaction, was the wreckage of the staple remover. The Unity attack had reduced it to scrap metal. Nearby were pieces of paperclip and other bits of placktoid she didn’t recognise.

  “Good t’ see ye made it.”

  Carrie spun round. It took her a moment to spot the squashpump halfway up the entrance wall. “I’m glad to see you made it, too.” Her fears had been greatest for this small officer trainee. At any moment it might have been spotted scaling the wall or searching for and releasing the mechansim that held the marsoliie captive. The placktoids would have picked it off easily. And once the attack started, it could have been hit at any time. She’d had the protection of the building at least. “You were so brave.”

  “Och, there wasna much chance of yon placktoids seeing me. Us squashpumps often get overlooked because of our size, y’ know. I was glad o’ the chance t’ help out.”

  “We couldn’t have done it without you.” The slug-like aliens were tough little fellows.

  Carrie shivered. She was seriously cold now. “See you back at the ship.” The Council starship had drawn near, and she could see the Unity ship too. The placktoid weapons had destroyed its camouflage device and now it was easy to see. For a simple Unity gunship, it was impressive. Twice the size of the Council ship, it was sleek and glistening where it wasn’t blackened by placktoid fire. The sight of it gave her heart for the galactic war that threatened. The placktoids may have gateway technology, but the Unity forces would still take some beating.